Hate
by ATPD
Summary: When Mustang and Edward are sent on a mission to inspect a mine, their train is attacked and they soon find themselves in the clutches of a town that is strongly anti-militaristic. NO PAIRINGS! Parental Roy. Rating for language, violence and torture.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this story was originally meant to be a one-shot, but somehow became a multi-chapter fic because my head just began creating a plot out of the blue with multiple characters and an antagonist.**

**This means that just like my other fics, I just write as the story comes into my head, which means I don't have a clue about how long this will be and only have an inkling about where the plot will be heading.**

**I hope to update this every other day or so, so there won't be long to wait between the chapters.**

**I hope you'll enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter One **

Ed was cold and in pain.

Why am I cold, though?

There was something about a train, he thought. A train, and there was another person, wasn't there?

He opened his eyes.

He was lying on a bunch of rocks. A bunch of cold, hard rocks. And there was snow around him.

_That explains the cold and the pain._

But where was the other person? Where was the train?

He had blood running down his face and into his mouth. He licked away the dried blood on his lips.

He tried to stand up, but his left arm screamed in protest when he moved it.

Ed tried looking at it, but he couldn't see anything. However, judging from the way that his wrist was hurting, it was most likely broken.

_Great._

What worried Ed the most, though, was the large glass shard that was protruding from his stomach.

"Hiya, kid, we'd like a word."

Ed looked up towards the noise. About five feet above him was a flipped over train. He was lying in a deep trench between two cliffs it seemed, and the train was pinned between them. It was a miracle that the train hadn't crushed him. The source of the noise, however, was made apparent as a man jumped down from the broken window above him.

"Oh, you don't look so good, kid, but we've got a great doctor, so don't you worry." The man was slightly fat but seemed strong all the same. He had a round face and a lot of stubble.

"What's going on? Who are you?"

"We're the ones who blew up the train, just call me Grey."

"What, why?" Ed was confused. He was still trying to remember who the other person he'd been here with was.

"Because we wanted to talk to you and your boss."

_That's right! You're here with Mustang! You were on the train with the Colonel when the carriage exploded!_

"Why?!"

"You don't need to know that yet."

"What the hell do you mean?!"

"Yellow? Seems like the kid is gonna be more pain than he's worth. Do we still take him with us?"

"Yes, Gold wanted both," an unfamiliar voice said.

"Very well, just need to prepare this one first, then."

"Just do it quick, I'd rather get going before this one wakes up. He's big enough to cause some trouble."

The man kneeled down next to Ed. Ed was still slightly confused by it all and didn't move. Then the man grabbed the glass shard and yanked it out. Ed yelled.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Ed moved to clap his hands, but the man grabbed his wrist, making him yell out again.

"Like I said, you're coming with us. Hey, Yellow! Throw down the first aid kit! That and one of Blue's little syringes!"

After fifteen seconds of struggling that was easily held back once the man decided to sit down on Ed's broken wrist, a white box suddenly came flying out of the window above them. The man quickly pulled a syringe out of the box before jabbing it into Ed's neck, emptying its contents.

Ed felt an odd shiver go through his body.

Soon, however, he felt drowsiness overtaking his senses and was quickly lost to the warm clutches of sleep.

* * *

_**Twenty-six hours earlier…**_

Roy had been having a bad night. He'd dreamt about Ishbal again, waking up shivering and covered in cold sweat at five in the morning.

He had taken a shower and only eaten a piece of toast for breakfast before heading off to work.

And so he sat here in the car, gloomily anticipating another day at work. He'd been coming in early to the office before when he'd had similar nights, and Hawkeye would certainly recognise his symptoms.

He had a bad headache and the first thing he did was walk into the cafeteria to grab himself a cup of coffee.

He sighed as he sat down before the large stack of forms that needed signing that he had failed to finish the day before.

All in all, this wasn't a good way to start the day.

And it didn't get any better.

At nine o'clock he received a phone call from the Führer himself, telling him that him and Fullmetal had to go to a town at the North-Eastern border to inspect a mine. It was only supposed to take a few days, but they were there to check that the promised minerals really were there, and so Führer Bradley decided to send their most recent recruit as well as a senior State Alchemist to go check it out. Roy could see the logic. Sending a twelve-year-old to represent the military after only one-and-half months in the military could be risky if left unsupervised.

And so he found himself on one of the most dreadfully boring train rides of his life with his smart-ass subordinate.

That was, until the kid woke up and Roy decided to give him some extra reminders about how to behave.

"I don't know if I remembered to tell you, but this is a very anti-militaristic town. It's a wonder that we even get this opportunity."

"Hmf."

"So, Fullmetal, try to act your age for once and keep your temper under control."

"So you think that I am unable to be formal?"

"Frankly, yes."

"You smug bastard! Of course I know how to act!"

"You have yet to prove it you know."

"Well at least I don't need a fucking nanny to threaten me with a gun every time I have to do my paperwork."

"No, you just deliver it three days late."

"Still, no nanny!"

"Oh, so what's Alphonse then?"

"D-don't you dare say that about my brother!"

"I think I just did."

"Well, at least I'm not an obnoxious bastard!"

"No, you're just an arrogant little brat."

"I'M NOT LITTLE! DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT AGAIN OR-"

Then everything around them exploded.

Roy was flung about, as was the kid. Then the train began slowing down and Fullmetal landed against the window, smashing it upon impact. Roy could only watch as the boy flew out of the window with a scream, then the train fell even further and the shelf above Roy came loose and crashed against his head.

Then everything turned black.

* * *

Roy was in a cage in a cellar somewhere. He was trying to find out what was going on around him. His eyes fell upon the curled up form next to him. He may be lying with his back to him, but there was no mistaking the blonde plait. What worried Roy, was the fact that the kid had had his automail removed, probably to make sure that he a) couldn't use his alchemy, and b) was in no condition to escape. Whoever it was that had done this, had also stripped the kid down to his boxers, probably to get at the automail. He also had a bandage around his head and around his stomach and his hand was in a cast.

It certainly hadn't been when the train crashed.

Roy took a look at himself. He was still in his uniform, although his coat had been removed and the gun and the knife he had been carrying had been taken away. He felt his head and found a large bump but nothing more.

Roy shook the kid's shoulder. "Hey, Fullmetal?"

No response. Roy had to say that he didn't like how cold the kid's skin was. He turned him over on his back, and was at least happy to see that his chest was moving up and down steadily.

Roy sighed and removed his coat. The kid was going to freeze to death if Roy didn't do something to prevent it. That included getting the kid away from the cold metal floor that was zapping his body heat. He lifted the shivering child onto his lap before putting his uniform jacket around him. Roy had never been so glad that it was made of wool.

He began feeling cold pretty quickly, seeing as how the kid was cold as hell. Deciding to forgo his pride, but instead focus on making sure that his subordinate survived, Roy unbuttoned his shirt with one hand while holding on to the child with the other before bringing him in direct contact with his relatively warm chest.

After a few hours of this where nothing else seemed to happen, the kid suddenly shifted and then blinked his eyes slowly.

"Hmm? Wha?" He seemed to be taking in the surroundings while looking curiously up at Roy. "Colonel?"

Then he seemed to realise where he was.

"Why the hell am I lying against your chest!?" The kid began moving to get away, but Roy held his arms firmly around him.

"Listen, Fullmetal, you're in the early stages of hypothermia, I need to keep you warm."

"Screw that! You're fucking hugging me! Get off!"

"I'm not going to be responsible for letting you freeze to death, Fullmetal, so just sit still. This is hurting my pride just as much as yours."

The kid groaned, knowing that he was beaten.

"What happened to you? The last thing I saw you were flying out the window."

"I woke up on the ground with a broken wrist and a glass shard in my stomach. Seems that they patched me up, though. Speaking of "they", do you know who these people are? They kept calling each other colours."

"No, I don't."

"Let me answer that," a voice came as heavy steps could be heard coming down a set of stairs. A man came over and crouched before the cage. He was tall and had an unpleasant face. He wore a grey suit and had short, white hair, despite him only being in his forties.

"Who are you?" Roy said.

"Let's just say that my name is Gold." The man smiled as he looked over at Fullmetal. "Good to see that you're keeping him warm, makes things easier for us."

"What do you want from us?!"

"We're just a delivery service of sorts. A certain little town made a request that you two be brought over to them without the military knowing where you went. You see, the mine was just a ruse. They were never going to sell, but they did want a couple of military dogs." He eyed Fullmetal again. "Or military dog and puppy."

"Who are you calling a puppy!" the kid growled dangerously. Apparently they were getting too close to height insults for his liking.

"That's what you are, aren't you? And before you start going on a rampage, I suggest you keep still as you certainly don't want to disturb that wound of yours. Blue patched it up real nicely, proper surgical quality, but you don't wanna rip those stitches."

"You bastard!"

"Now, now. That's not a very nice word. You should speak politely to your elders."

"I'm a fucking State Alchemist! I talk however I want to to crooks like you!"

The man pulled out a gun before he unlocked the cage door and went inside. He crouched next to them. Roy hated to admit it, but even though it was easy enough to just grab the gun and run, Fullmetal couldn't and this man had accomplices. There would be no point in acting now, he just hoped that the kid would see that too. He pulled his arms closer around him.

"You know what, kid? You're fucking annoying. It would be really easy to just shoot you. I just can't decide where…" He began trailing the gun along Fullmetal's back all the way up to his right temple. "Really easy. But right now the pleasure of getting paid outweighs the pleasure of killing you. Make sure that it stays that way, because you're dangerously close to tilting the scales in the wrong direction."

Roy growled at the man, shifting the kid even closer to himself. "Don't touch him."

"So we're getting protective, are we?"

Roy hated this. The man was toying with him, showing him how little control he had over the situation.

He hit the kid in the head with his gun and then left the cage, locking the door behind him.

"Bastard," Fullmetal muttered.

Roy was just glad that it hadn't been anything else.

Roy had to say that he was relieved to even be able to hold the kid in his arms right now. He had been scared as hell as he had watched him flying out of the window as everything was crashing around him. The kid was twelve after all and was his responsibility. Nobody else was looking after him really, except for his little brother. So as long as he wasn't in Resembool, Roy was technically his guardian of sorts as he was his commanding officer.

Which meant that if anything happened to him now, it would be Roy's fault for dragging him into the military in the first place and therefore putting him in such a dangerous situation.

So he was both anxious, relieved, pissed off and scared.

And he had a freezing child pressed against his chest that depended on him to get them out of this because these people had stolen his limbs.

No way was he going to fail him and tell his eleven-year-old brother that he got his only family killed.

No way in hell.

* * *

"Wakey-wakey!"

Roy jerked awake at the sudden noise.

At first he was confused. Why was there a child leaning against his chest?

Then it came to him.

Fullmetal was still curled up on his lap, holding on to the warmth that Roy was able to offer. He was still shivering, but at least this was preferable to him lying frozen to death on floor next to him. He hadn't woken up at the noise though, but for the moment, Roy supposed that it was kinder to just let him sleep. Although the kid hadn't complained once, Roy knew that he had to be in a lot of pain. A broken wrist and a stab wound didn't just heal in a few hours.

"Morning, Sunshine. Our clients are here to have a look at you two to verify the quality of our delivery. I suggest you wake your little puppy up."

The kid's eyes shot open and his whole face turned demonic as he turned his face sharply against Gold. "DON'T CALL ME LITTLE!"

Roy suddenly had to hold the struggling child back while Gold just stood there laughing.

"Guess that means that you're ready to meet our clients." He turned towards the staircase in the corner of the room. "Red! Take them down here!"

"Yes, Sir."

"Just take things easy, Fullmetal. I'm going to get us out of here," Roy whispered.

"You better. I'm not gonna be leaning against your fucking chest just so you can let me die you bastard."

Roy scoffed, a small smile forming on his lips. At least the kid hadn't given up.

Then came three sets of footsteps down the staircase.

One of them was Red and another a smartly dressed brunette in a bright red dress. The last one was a badly burned Ishbalan man. The left side of his face was just one big scar and his left eye was basically seared closed.

Roy had a bad feeling.

"Here you go, Madam. Two State Alchemists. One of them already identified as the Fullmetal Alchemist. Sadly, we couldn't find the other one's pocket watch, as I already informed you," Gold said to the woman.

"That's okay. I brought with me one that knows how to identify a few of them, don't you Gregor?"

The Ishbalan nodded and then grinned as he studied Roy's face. "You really hit the jackpot, Miss Melanie. That's the Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang. I'd recognise him anywhere. He's the reason I look like I do after all."

"How lovely. Then I would like to thank you for your services, Mr. Gold. Here is the agreed upon sum, you may check it if you like." The woman handed him a large bag.

"Thank you, Madam." He handed the bag to Red. "Please count them for me, Red."

"Yes, Sir." Red went over and sat down by a desk in the corner.

The woman walked over to their cage and crouched down before them, hands holding the bars. She was in her thirties and very pretty, except for the fact that her eyes suggested that she'd like to eat them alive.

"Hello, Mr. Mustang. I'm Miss Melanie," she said seductively.

"I'm sorry, but I can't seem to decide whether you want to kill me or kiss me."

"How about a little bit of both?"

"I have no interest in either."

"Oh, you're no fun."

"Believe me, you're the first woman ever to say that. It's just that kidnappers aren't really my type."

"Oh. So how about your little boy there, then?"

"I'M NOT LITTLE DAMN IT!"

"Ooh, he's fierce, I like that."

Roy felt anger surge through him as he held the kid tighter to him. "Don't you even dare think like that," he growled.

"Argh. Fine. Seems like Daddy Roy is quite a protective man, wouldn't you say so, kid?"

"He's not my dad," Fullmetal said in a dangerous tone.

"Ooh, sounds like someone has daddy issues. What did yours do then?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I like to learn things about people. Lets me push their buttons. Lets me play with their emotions." She licked her lips. "Lets me have my fun as I torture their little minds."

"Don't say anything else to her, Fullmetal," Roy said quietly.

"Wasn't going to, she's clearly insane."

"Mr. Gold, would I be allowed to go inside the cage to check something out?" Melanie said.

"Of course."

He then picked up a key and opened the lock and let her in, picking up his gun to provide protection.

She moved gracefully inside before kneeling down behind Fullmetal's back. Roy instinctively began to move the kid away from her.

Melanie held up a finger and made shushing noises. "No-no, Mr. Mustang. I'll ask Mr. Gold to shoot him in the knee if you move him, so you better let me do as I want."

Roy stopped moving, hating himself for being so useless. Instead he focused on keeping a firm grip on Fullmetal in order to stop him from doing something stupid, which he certainly wanted to, judging by the look in his eyes.

"What the hell do you want, lady?" the kid growled.

She slid up behind him, leaning her head on the remaining parts of his right shoulder. "I'd like to know your name, dear boy," she whispered.

Roy just wanted to hit her.

"Why?"

"So that I know what to call you, of course."

"Go to hell."

"I hardly doubt that that's your name."

"Fuck you."

"I guess I need to do a bit of convincing," she sighed. "Tell me, boy, have you ever met a chimera?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that some very nasty scientists decided to put me in a cage and transmute me together with a cat." She slid her right hand up to his chin and put her index finger against his throat, instantly cutting into his skin. "As you can see, I have rather sharp nails." She trailed her finger along his throat, creating a long cut.

Roy felt his stomach clench. They were speaking to a scientific impossibility.

Fullmetal hardly made a sound despite the blood that began trailing down the side of his neck.

"What's wrong, cat got your tongue?" she said, making another cut right beneath the last one.

"It's Edward Elric, now get your hands off my subordinate!" Roy growled, not seeing the point in keeping quiet.

She slid away from his shoulder and moved out of the cage. "See? That wasn't so hard…"

Then the door was closed behind her and Gold locked the cage again.

Roy immediately pressed his jacket against the two cuts on Fullmetal's neck.

"You okay?" Roy whispered.

"How can she be a chimera? It's not possible!" Fullmetal whispered back.

"Apparently it is."

"Sir? It's all here," Red said.

"Good. Then I'll let you take these two with you. May I say what a pleasure it has been doing business with you, Madam?"

"The feeling is mutual, Mr. Gold. Now, would Mr. Blue have anything help us get these two along with us? For an extra fee of course."

"He most certainly would, Madam." He grinned widely. "Red, would you go fetch Blue and his bag?"

"Yes, Sir."

He returned two minutes later with another man, this one dressed in a white coat.

Blue pulled a pair of syringes out of his coat pocket as Gold let him inside their cage.

The man kneeled down before them, holding up the first of the syringes. "Now, you're going to feel a little sting." Then Roy had the needle in his neck and the contents were being emptied into his body. Soon the man had done the same to Fullmetal, and Roy felt drowsiness pulling at him as the man left their cage.

"Colonel? I think we're screwed," Fullmetal said sleepily before he grew limp in Roy's arms and Roy succumbed to sleep a few seconds later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here we go, chapter two! Not as long as the last one, but I felt it was a good place to end the chapter.**

**And thank you so much to the readers, followers, favouriters and reviewers!**

**Oh, and I got a question which anime this was from, and I'm going with pre-manga/Brotherhood. And if anyone is confused by the fact that I use "Ishbal" instead of "Ishval", it is because I was introduced to FMA via the manga, and so Ishbal feels more natural to me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Ed was woken by the sound of chirping outside his window. He opened his eyes. He was lying in a four-poster bed in an unfamiliar bedroom. He swung his feet – scratch that – foot over the bed and sat up, yelping at the sudden pain from his abdomen.

_Where the hell am I?_

He thought about what he remembered last.

There was the cage, and Mustang, and Melanie, and Gold, Red and Blue.

_Shit. I think I got sold._

"FULLMETAL! WHERE ARE YOU?!" came a shout from outside the door.

"COLONEL!"

The double doors were slammed open.

"Fullmetal!"

The Colonel was in his military trousers and a shirt, the same that he'd been wearing in the cage.

Ed looked down and found that he was still in his boxers. Part of him was sort of relieved that Melanie had not decided to dress him while he was asleep.

"Colonel, do you know where we are?"

"Some sort of mansion, I think. I only just woke up in a similar bedroom."

"Great."

There was a knock at the door and a maid stood in the doorway with a wheelchair. She looked at them angrily.

"Miss Melanie asked me to give this to you."

She then placed it by the door and left.

Mustang strode over to it and wheeled it over to Ed's bedside.

Ed looked at it and groaned.

"What is it, Fullmetal?"

"Winry's gonna kill me if I've gone and lost my automail."

"We've been kidnapped, sold and have woken up in a strange house and that is what that worries you?!"

"You know how Hawkeye has guns? Well Winry carries wrenches and she's not afraid to use them, so don't you dare diminish my fear!"

Mustang just stared.

"Now let's try to find a way out of here!" Ed said.

"Shouldn't we make a plan first?"

"No." Ed tried and failed to hop into the wheelchair, seeing as how his cast hindered him from gripping the armrest in time. He fell face down on the floor and yelped because of his wrist and stomach. He turned over on his back and sat up, glaring at Mustang who looked to be somewhere between pity and mirth.

"You want some help with that?"

"Shut up. I forgot about the wrist, that's all."

He sighed. "Come here." Mustang placed his right arm under Ed's left and helped him to his feet and over to the wheelchair.

"Right! Now let's find the front door!"

Mustang sighed behind him.

* * *

Roy pushed the wheelchair through the doors and into the carpeted hallway. They were on a floor that basically consisted of a long hallway with multiple doors into multiple rooms. In the middle of the hallway was a large staircase that led down to the front hall where six armed guards were stationed in front of the doors.

"That does not look like a possible escape route," the kid said. "Let's check out the rest of these rooms first."

Mustang turned the wheelchair around and they went over to the nearest door, opening it to find a bedroom like the other ones. They quickly turned around and went over to the next door on their left. This was something quite different. They were in a large living room where, in the middle, Melanie was seated in one of the couches, sipping tea.

"Ah, you found me! How nice!" She smiled widely at them. "Please have a seat, and I'll let you know what's going on! Oh, and there's no point in trying to find a way to use alchemy, it won't work. The whole town is situated on an array blocking all alchemic attempts."

Roy eyed her sceptically.

"Or I could have Gregor shoot you in the legs and drag you over here."

The door behind them was slammed shut and Gregor was standing there with a gun resting in his hands.

Fullmetal growled.

Roy pushed the wheelchair over to the couch opposite her.

"Oh, Mr. Mustang! Please put Edward next to me here." She patted the couch seat to her right.

"No way in hell!" Fullmetal said.

"Argh, fine. Mr. Mustang, do it or Gregor will shoot him in the leg, happy?"

Roy stood there, trying to reach a decision. He did as he was told, however, when he saw the look in her eyes that told him that she would not hesitate to do it.

"Well, at least I'm hopping over there! I'm not gonna be carried like a fucking baby!" Fullmetal protested when Roy moved to pick him up. He therefore slid an arm under his and supported him as he hopped over to the couch, sitting himself as far away from the woman as he could.

Melanie just sat herself closer to the boy and slid her right arm around his bare back and let it rest at his side. She placed her left hand at his shoulder and brought him closer to her, trapping him.

Roy felt the anger bubbling beneath his skin.

"How good. Now please sit down, Mr. Mustang."

She turned her head towards Fullmetal. "Now isn't this nice, Edward? Now I can warm you just like Daddy Roy did."

Fullmetal was obviously longing to hit her.

Roy wanted to burn her.

She then planted a kiss on his left cheek.

"Don't touch him."

"Why, Daddy Roy? Are you afraid that I'll hurt him? Everyone knows that it's you who burn people, not me."

Roy froze. So that was what this was about. This was all about him.

"Ooh, did I hit a nerve? You see, Edward?" She spoke directly into his ear. "That is the man who killed thousands of people. He burned them alive. He just snapped his fingers and watched as he killed kids just like you. Do you really trust a man like that? The only difference between you and the children he killed, was that they had red eyes and brown skin. That's all."

The kid's face was unreadable, but Roy had a strong feeling that he would have to talk to him later about this.

"Anyway," she began, straightening up again, her hands still holding Fullmetal in their grip. "I said I'd tell you why you're here." She took a deep breath. "It all began eleven years ago. I was in an accident and was declared dead by the doctors. That was a lie. I was dying, yes, but not dead. The military took me in. They experimented on me. They created another type of creature. I looked like myself, but I was different somehow. I was more feline. My senses were sharpened, my hearing heightened. But I was in pain. I am still in pain. There is something wrong with me. The military made me into this. They made me into something nearly perfect. I look like I should, I act like I should, but there is so much pain all the time. I feel the poor creature that was merged with my body. It is always screaming. It had its body ripped away, but it keeps living inside me. And it is so painful. So painful for both of us. You can't imagine what it's like. I can hardly sleep. My whole body is protesting my very existence all the time. I am a sin against nature, and my body knows it." She spoke in a sensual way, but there was a hint of bitterness as well. "When I managed to escape by ripping the scientists' throats out, I ran back home to my father. My father is the mayor here, and upon hearing what the military did to me, he closed all contact with it, terrified that they would take me back or try to kill me. During the war in Ishbal, word got out about this town. Many Ishbalans came here trying to get to safety. Many succeeded. People would hide them, let them form communities. Now half the population is Isbalan. We live in peace. Without the military's involvement."

"But why did you take us? What's the point?" Fullmetal asked.

"That's because I wanted some small revenge. I wanted to get my hands on one of the military's filthy mutts. Instead I got two. I got the "Hero of Ishbal" and the new puppy. And you see, Edward, I could hardly have been more lucky. Because now I can take one of his precious subordinates and use them against him. I can make him hurt just by making you question him. He is already protective of you. Can't you see how he cares? And I am going to turn you against him. When we are done, all you will do when you see him is look at him with hate."

Roy felt his fists clench. So that's her plan.

**_And she has a point, though, doesn't she, Roy? You killed so many people. Fullmetal hardly has any reason to trust you._**

_But at least she isn't going to hurt him._

_I hope_.

"I am going to break you, Roy. Piece by piece. I will take everything away from you. I will let you rot. I will let you burn from the inside with pain."

"I won't have anything to do with it!" Fullmetal said.

"That really isn't your choice, Edward. You see, you're not entirely innocent either. You may just be a puppy, but you still chose to join the military. Besides, hurting you will hurt him."

Roy had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Oh, look, Edward! There it is! The fear! Look into those dark eyes and tell me what you see, dear!"

Roy was suddenly looking straight at the golden orbs that betrayed just a trace of fear, but mostly defiance. Roy had a feeling that his own looked pretty much the same.

"Go on, Edward, tell me what you see!"

The boy didn't say a thing.

"Oh, Edward, there's no point in keeping quiet. That just means that I'll have to hurt you until you talk."

"Screw you."

She slowly began trailing the nail of her left index finger down his shoulder and all the way down to his waist. The cut she made began oozing blood immediately.

He just bit his lip and didn't say anything.

"Oh, Edward! Come on. There's no point in playing hard to get, because I will get to you. For the moment I am respecting that you are a minor, but if you don't do as you're told, you might find that my respect disappears."

Roy could see a faint twitch from the boy, and he stood up.

"Don't you even dare suggest something like that!"

"Oh, look! Daddy Roy is back! There's no need to worry yet, even I think that twelve is a bit too young, I'm only teasing. Like I told you earlier, I'm just having my little fun."

Roy was livid. Even teasing about something like that was unacceptable.

_He is **my** subordinate, damn it!_

The kid smirked. "You were wondering what I was seeing in his eyes? I see the man who is going to burn you and leave you to rot in a cell in Central."

She clasped her hands around Fullmetal, her nails digging into his flesh so that small droplets of blood began streaming down his side and shoulder. "You know, Edward, I was going to take it easy on you seeing as how you're just a child after all, but you're turning out to be a stubborn brat and I don't like those. Gregor, if you would."

The Ishbalan approached them with a syringe while Melanie held Fullmetal in place.

"What the hell is that?" the kid said as Melanie held his arm out while keeping a firm hand on his right shoulder.

Gregor expertly placed the needle inside his arm and emptied the contents.

"You see, the problem with torture is that it usually involves lots of blood and loss of function, and that's not really practical. Especially when you're so damaged already. That's why we gave you that little syringe. It messes with your nervous system, making you feel like you're in pain without actually being hurt. Isn't that neat?" she released her hold on him.

"You bitch," Roy growled.

"Wrong animal, Roy," she grinned, the pleasure of seeing his distress evident in her voice. "The drug will start taking effect in about ten minutes. I'll leave you to see the results for yourself. I suggest that you go to your room, poor Edward will probably feel better if he's got the comfort of a duvet, people usually get rather chilly from the experience."

Then she stood up and left the room with graceful steps.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so so much to all you readers, reviewers, favouriters and followers!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Roy didn't know what to say right now. The child in front of him would most likely be trapped in a living hell within the next nine minutes.

"Colonel?" The kid was looking unsure.

"I'm sorry about this. I should have stopped her."

"Yeah, and have your kneecaps shot out by Gregor. Come on, let's just get back to the room, I don't really wanna stay in a place that smells like that woman."

Roy stood up, going over to help the kid into the wheelchair.

"I'd rather hop right now than use anything that could be considered a kindness from her."

Roy had to say that he understood him. He put his arm under his and together they made their slow way back to the kid's bedroom. By the time Fullmetal was sitting on his bed, they had about four minutes left until the drug would take effect. Roy had already given him a blanket to press against the cut on his chest as well as the ones in his side.

"Okay, so what the hell do we do?" the kid asked.

Roy was leaning against the wall, watching him for any signs of discomfort.

_God, it's torture just to wait._

"I don't think we'll be able to leave. I guess we should start with looking for an exit, though."

"Yeah, you do that while I deal with whatever that lady did to me."

"I'm not going to leave you alone with that! Who knows what that drug will do to you?!"

"That's exactly the point! If whatever this thing is is supposed to torture you as you watch, then leave! I'll be fine! I didn't go through automail surgery for nothing!"

"Fullmetal! This is **my** punishment! I'm not going to leave a child alone with the hell that she has concocted! You are my subordinate and it is my job to look after you!"

"What if I don't wanna be looked after!? Do **you** like it when people look at you while you're in pain!?"

Roy paused. So that was the kid's problem.

He sighed, crossing his arms. "You think it makes you weak."

"I – no – I didn't – why would you think that?" Fullmetal sputtered.

"It's obvious. And you're wrong."

Roy walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down, kicking of his boots before lifting his feet onto the bed while leaning his back against the nearest bedpost.

"What the hell, Colonel?! Get off!"

"I'm not leaving you to deal with this on your own, and that's final."

"You bastard! I don't want you here!"

"Listen, kid, there's no way that you're going to be able to force me out of this room. You're missing two limbs and you have a broken wrist. Don't waste your energy on something so stupid."

"Bastard."

"As always. Now, how are you feeling? Are you noticing any changes?"

"I'm getting heatwaves."

Usually Roy would have made a joke about the kid hitting menopause before puberty, but it just wouldn't be right right now. The kid was about to be in a world of pain and it was Roy's fault. The fact that Fullmetal was feeling anything unusual just made Roy tense as hell.

After a couple of minutes, the kid began shifting uncomfortably.

"Fullmetal?"

"It's nothing."

"It's not "nothing". Now tell me."

"My stumps are starting to ache, okay?"

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, I don't really think it matters with whatever that lady gave me."

The kid began cringing slightly, obviously trying to fight against the pain. Soon he was leaning forwards, his shoulder held at the same height as his ear. Roy could tell that he was fighting not to make a sound, his hand clutching at the blanket that he was holding against his chest.

Roy felt horrible and useless. He couldn't do a thing to help the child in front of him who was obviously hurting like hell by now.

Then Fullmetal threw himself sideways to his right and began groaning as he curled in on himself. He began shivering violently and Roy got up and folded the overly large duvet over the small kid. He hardly reacted, which was what made Roy decide to sit himself up and lean his back against the pillows in front of the headboard while bringing the tortured child up to rest against his chest. He put his arms around him, trying to give the kid some reminder that he wasn't alone.

And god did it hurt to see Fullmetal this way.

Then he began screaming.

It was a sound Roy never wanted to hear again.

Roy readjusted his grip on the boy so that he could shift him to rest higher up on his chest. Roy placed a hand behind Fullmetal's head, while resting his chin on top of the golden strands.

"Sh-sh-shh, it's going to be okay, kid. I swear it will be alright soon. I'm going to burn that lady for doing this to you, I swear."

Roy closed his eyes, hoping against hope that this would be over soon.

The kid would yell before straining and panting, before he would yell once again.

Roy kept saying anything he could to soothe him. As they reached at least an hour of tortured shouting, Roy couldn't think of anything else to say and was just apologising profusely, not even sure if the child could hear him.

Then, after what had to be at least two hours, the kid began calming down, the shouting slowly reducing to groans and yelps. Then a steady whimper. Then the occasional grunt. Then silence.

"Hey, Edward?" Roy said quietly, not even sure if the kid was conscious. He wasn't going to use his title at a moment like this. Not when he had to be so exhausted by pain and the fear that it brought. The kid deserved something less impersonal than the damned title that had got him in this mess in the first place.

"Hmm?"

"How are you doing?"

"M'tired," he said hoarsely, digging his head into Roy's chest.

_Okay, definitely not aware of his surroundings._

Then the kid's breathing evened out and he was clearly asleep.

Roy didn't change his position. There was no way in hell that he was going to leave his subordinate while they were in the same house as Melanie.

* * *

Being left in silence gave him room to think.

Think about Ishbal.

Because that's what all this was about.

Fact was, Roy had hardly been able to look at Gregor. Meeting someone that he had burned so badly, yet had no recollection of meeting, made him feel like a monster.

And if half the population here was Ishbalan, then Roy had plenty to answer for.

_And I deserve it._

The door suddenly creaked open, and Melanie slid inside, smiling as she licked her lips. She was wearing a tight-fitting, short, red dress.

Roy growled from where he was halfway lying, halfway sitting on the bed.

"Oh, now, Roy, you don't want to wake Edward up, do you? After what he's just been through, he deserves some rest."

"How dare you?!" Roy hissed.

"It's so sweet of you to take such care of him. Almost makes me a bit envious."

She went over to the bed, sitting herself down on Roy's left side, before she lay down and rested her head on his shoulder. With the kid lying on his right shoulder and most of his chest, Roy was trapped.

"Now isn't this nice?" she whispered.

"I told you that I wasn't interested, now leave."

"Oh, but I thought I should tell you about Gregor. You know, like a bedtime story of sorts."

"Then get off my shoulder."

"That's not really up to you," she whispered before she began stroking Edward's right cheek to prove her point.

Roy shifted his grip on the back of Edward's head, blocking her from being able to touch him.

"Aww, that's no fun," she said as she slowly slid her hand back to rest on Roy's side.

"I'm not letting you touch him, now get to the story," Roy hissed.

If she was going to torture him, then fine, but he wasn't going to let her get her hands on Edward again.

"Ooh, so protective, I like that in a man."

Roy knew that she wasn't going to actually go all the way, she wasn't the type. She was just a manipulative bitch that liked playing with him.

"Anyway, Roy, here's the story. It began with Gregor and his two younger sisters. They were twins and five years younger than him. When Gregor was seventeen, his parents were killed in one of the many riots that happened in Ishbal after the civil war broke out. Left alone with two younger sisters to look after, he was so happy when he found the love of his life when he was eighteen. Veronica was so good to his sisters, and so he seemed to finally have some luck. They were married when he was nineteen, and at twenty, their son was born. They were such a happy family, it was wonderful. They were celebrating their son's fourth birthday, thinking that they had found a safe place to live for at least the next three weeks, when instead of their son blowing out the candles, he was set on fire. Gregor couldn't do anything as his son screamed and then became deathly still. Their house was crumbling around them, then came another fireball, this one blew their whole house apart. Veronica was instantly killed as a large piece of the stone ceiling came crashing down on her. She was six months' pregnant. Gregor's sisters were screaming with pain as they were being burnt alive. And as Gregor was trapped under a piece of rubble, the burning curtain above him fell over him and trapped him in flames, burning half of his body. And so he was the only one left alive. All because of you, Roy Mustang."

Roy knew that she was just playing with his mind, but he wasn't surprised that it was true. Would he like to take back what he'd done? Of course.

_I am practically a war criminal after all._

"What's wrong, Roy, was it something I said?" she said, sliding her hand up to his cheek, and Roy was disturbed by how gentle her touch was.

Roy didn't know what to say. He just wanted to get her away from them.

"Think about the monster that you are, Roy Mustang," she whispered into his ear, then she slid out of the bed and out the door.

Roy was left with his thoughts and a kid who was thankfully sleeping so that he didn't see how pale Roy had turned at the visitor's words.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here we go, chapter four, and despite how it appears, I do not enjoy torturing Edward, it just sort of ... happens...I guess. **

**... In most of my fics.**

**...Sorry, Ed.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**And thank you so much to you readers, reviewers, favouriters and followers!**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Ed's eyes were heavy. He was tired as hell. That drug had not been fun. In fact, it had been worse than the automail surgery.

Much worse.

He opened his eyes slowly, only to find that he was in fact, not lying alone in his bed. Half of him wasn't even lying on it, but on Mustang. The Colonel had his right arm over his stomach, the left one behind his head. Ed was lying inside his duvet, not able to move away. The Colonel even had his chin resting on the top of his head.

_Damn it! First the cage and now this!_

Although he had to admit that it sort of felt a bit safe…

_Dammit_!

"Colonel?" Ed said, trying to wake his sleeping pillow.

There was no reaction.

"Colonel?"

"Hmm."

"Colonel."

"Hmm-ha-hmm? Ammawake!"

"Could have fooled me…"

"Edward?! How are you?"

"I'm fine, actually. Just tired, I guess. Is there a reason why I'm lying on your chest again?"

"You were screaming, I didn't know what to do."

"So you went with hugging?"

"Let me guess, you'd like me to let go?"

Ed grinned evilly, wanting the bastard to feel as uncomfortable as he was. He made his voice sound like a five-year-old "No, Daddy Roy! I want you to protect me from the scary lady and the bad man with the needles!" Then he snuggled his head into the man's chest, trying not to laugh at the confused stammering.

He failed.

First he began shaking.

Then sniggering.

Then he was outright laughing.

There were a few spluttering sounds from behind his head.

Then the human pillow began laughing too.

All in all, it was a hell of a lot better than screaming his lungs out because every inch of his body was pulsating with agony and every nerve was screaming for it to stop, for him to just die, because surely it had to be better than being trapped in that hell.

And so he just let himself rest on the warm chest that had actually been trying to help him through it.

His body was still heavy, it felt like every single part of him was filled with lactic acid. He was simply feeling too heavy to move or protest. Just laughing like that had exhausted him immensely.

So screw that it was the Colonel, if he wasn't saying anything, then it would be fine. He might as well just stay where he was.

Besides, it smelt a hell of a lot safer than that woman's sickening perfume.

And so Ed fell asleep again.

* * *

Roy was slightly confused. The kid had wanted him to get him to remove him from his chest, then joked, laughed so that he used up all his energy and then fallen asleep just where he was.

_So does he want me to move him or not?_

_Was there some truth to the joke?_

Roy honestly couldn't tell.

He was just relieved that Edward seemed fine for the moment, considering.

And so he just stayed where he was, holding around the small child that at least trusted him enough to protect him from whatever these people were planning to do with them.

Besides, he had to admit that right now he was scared as hell, so actually having someone to hold onto and to stay strong for was a big comfort.

Because Roy had sure had had a hellish night dreaming about Ishbal, imagining what he had done to Gregor and his family.

God how he wished he could take it all back.

After a while, Roy fell back to sleep, Ed's steady breathing making his thoughts drift until he was completely asleep.

When he woke up, Ed was lying in the crook of his arm, frightened and angry eyes staring at him as Melanie was lying there, snuggled up to him. She had her right arm over Edward's chest, her right leg curled over his, and she was grinning maliciously, her chin resting on his throat. She had slid under the duvet and removed it so that the kid was shivering because she had kicked it off him.

"Good morning, Roy! You wouldn't wake you up so I let Edward keep me company instead. And I have to say, he's practically good enough to eat."

Her eyes suddenly glinted like she had an idea, then she slid her chin off of Edward's neck, before she began kissing it slowly.

"HEY!" the kid protested and then yelped.

Blood began streaming down his neck while Melanie lifted her head, grinning, a piece of flesh hanging from the corner of her mouth, blood running down her chin. She slurped the flesh piece as if it was some sort of noodle.

"GET THE HELL OFF HIM!" Roy roared, pushing her away with his left hand and foot.

She rolled off the bed gracefully, standing on the ground on all fours, still grinning.

Roy and Ed immediately sat up and Roy pulled him closer to his chest, glaring at the sadistic bitch.

She licked her lips slowly. "Like I said, good enough to eat."

Roy pulled the blanket up to cover the steadily bleeding wound in the child's neck. Ed was just swearing.

"WELL? GET HIM A FIRST AID KIT UNLESS YOU WANT HIM TO BLEED OUT!" Roy yelled, anger pulsing through his entire body.

He could still hardly believe that she had actually just done that. He had met some crazy people in his time, but to actually take a bite out of the kid's neck and savour it? What the hell?

She got to her feet, walking out of the room, returning half a minute later with a first aid kit. She handed it to Roy and he set to work, bandaging the wound quickly and efficiently, cursing the woman as loud as he could inside his head.

When he was done, she left the room, blood still on her chin. "See you later." She waved the first aid kit as she left, obviously hinting that they were going to use it again.

* * *

Ed was shocked. He wasn't even sure what had just happened. The crazy lady had fucking taken a bite out of his neck.

"Colonel, did she just eat part of me?"

"Yes, she actually did." He looked just as revolted as Ed felt.

"You know, she takes the whole "crazy cat lady" thing to a whole new level."

Mustang stared at him, trying to see if he was actually serious.

Then they both burst out laughing, falling to their sides, holding their stomachs.

"You know, so far she's doing a terrible job at turning me against you, Colonel."

"Glad to hear it."

And the worst part was, that the man actually looked relieved.

Ed rolled over on his back, as did Mustang.

"Colonel? What actually happened in Ishbal?"

"You don't want to know, kid."

"I'd rather hear it from you than from her."

"Would you, Edward? I killed thousands of people, watched them die, all because of a stupid order."

"Then tell me what it was that made you do it."

Mustang sighed beside him. "I joined the military hoping to change the country for the better, believing the hype the recruiters fed me. Then came the war in Ishbal. As a State Alchemist I was thrown into the battle, not even knowing why I killed people, just trying to cling onto my ideals of a better future."

"That doesn't sound evil."

"Maybe not, but I won't ever forget or forgive myself for what I did in ishbal."

"So why did you stay in the military?"

"I made myself and Hughes a promise. I would rise through the ranks, climb all the way to the top so that I could prevent anything like Ishbal from ever happening again. I am going to make sure that the country becomes a democracy. And the ones who were praised as heroes during the war, will be brought to trial as war criminals."

Ed planted his elbow into his right arm. "You moron! That's a suicide mission and you know it!"

"That may be right, but at least I will have paid off some of my debts."

"But still! You can't just do that! You can't just save the country and then basically commit suicide!"

"Why not?! Think about it. I did what I did, I should pay the price for it. Equivalent Exchange."

"You bastard! If you keep thinking like that, then we're not going to get out of here alive! You can't just break your promise like that!"

Ed didn't know what to think about this. Yes he was a killer, but at least he wanted to pay the price and then some. He wasn't evil, but if he kept thinking that he deserved this, then they were going to be stuck here for a long time.

"I swear I will get you out of here, I am not going to give in before I become Führer and I've returned the Ishbalans holy land to them."

"You better not. If you get me killed, I swear I will sic Al on you. And Winry. And Hawkeye! So you'd better not let me down!"

* * *

Roy wasn't exactly sure how many hours had passed since their conversation, but the kid was sleeping again, his head resting on Roy's outstretched arm, the duvet covering his small body.

Then the door was opened again, and Melanie came inside, a syringe in her hand, smiling.

Roy immediately tensed. "Don't you dare touch him again!" he hissed.

"Oh, no, Roy, this one's for you."

She sat down on the bed, stroking his left arm before she gently began pulling the fabric up his arm, exposing the crook of his elbow. She pulled the cap off before she stuck the needle into his vein.

She smiled as she slowly emptied the contents, making Roy's skin sting, then she pulled it out.

"What the hell was that?" Roy hissed at her.

"I won't tell you, you'll find out soon enough."

She then leaned over him, kissing his cheek, before she slid off the bed.

"Sweet dreams, Roy."


	5. Chapter 5

**So I went back and rewrote this chapter, so if anybody's rereading this, then I hope you like it and approve of the changes I made because I found the way I had originally written this chapter to be too detached, mostly because my writing has improved since I started this fic seven months ago. And for those who are reading this for the first time: I hope you'll enjoy it too :)**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Roy could only wait for when whatever the hell the lady had in store for him would kick in. Part of him was glad that this time it would be him that would go through hell and not Edward, but still, if he was about to go through the same shit that the kid had done, he should probably warn him.

Roy began feeling sleepy as he turned over to shake the boy's shoulder, but he never got further than reaching his upper arm when his body gave out on him and Roy's arm just landed on Edward's side instead.

Then everything turned dark.

* * *

Roy was back in Ishbal, he didn't even need to open his eyes to know that.

He recognised the smell.

The burned bodies, the smell of burnt hair.

The blood.

The decay.

The stone.

The sand.

All of it.

Then came the screams.

And the gunfire.

The explosions.

The dust.

Roy opened his eyes.

He was lying in the rubble of an exploded building. A boy was standing in front of him. A blonde boy in black and red. He moved forwards. "Hello, Colonel."

"Edward? What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here! I was supposed to be the one to suffer this time!" Roy panicked. The boy had just been through hell, he was supposed to get a break!

"I want you to show me what happened in Ishbal," Ed said monotonously, his face unreadable, the boy somewhat missing his usual spark.

"You can already see it all around you. It's everywhere. Why do you even want to know?" Roy said. He didn't want to let him see what Roy had done. He couldn't let him experience it. Edward was an innocent kid and Roy couldn't let him see what happened here through the eyes of a killer. A mass murderer.

"I want to understand. Show me, Colonel." He held out his hand, still not listening to Roy. Like a ghost of his former self. It made Roy's stomach clench.

And yet Roy took the proffered appendage and got to his feet.

"So Colonel, where do we begin?" Ed asked, looking over the horizon. The sun was blazing and the sand was blurry because of it. The building was so ruined that the highest piece of wall jutting out of the ground could hardly be more than half a metre tall.

"What do you mean?" Roy asked, trepidation growing. He wanted to beg Ed to stop this, to stop doing this to him.

And yet his mind and his mouth seemed like they were speaking different languages, because his body didn't accept that single command.

"What happened? What happened in this building?" Ed asked.

"I-I can't remember," Roy said, finding his body now unable to move. He was terrified.

"Yes, you can. You just don't want to. Face it, Colonel. Show me what you did here."

"I can't," Roy said shakily, desperately.

"Yes, you can!" Ed persisted, his voice getting that angry tone which made this so much worse because this really was Ed and Roy was leading him through war.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"I don't want to! Don't make me relive it. Please, Ed. I beg you," Roy said in a shaky voice. He was terrified of what would happen.

"Too late, Colonel." The monotonous, dead voice was back again.

The building around them was rebuilding itself. It turned back into what looked like a makeshift children's hospital.

Edward took his hand, leading him past the beds. "They're all children, just like me, aren't they?" he asked, his voice growing more natural, curious.

Accusatory.

"Yes," Roy said. He didn't want to relive this, and yet his mouth had once again lost its ability to speak correctly.

"They're sick children. They're hurt. Can you hear? Up the stairs? There are babies crying. Their mothers are already gone. Their fathers too. They're crying for help. For someone to care. To hold them, to keep them warm. To keep them safe. Sound familiar to you?" Ed asked, sounding more and more like himself. Like the angry kid that found him to be a bastard, and rightly so.

Roy swallowed, his throat was dry. He didn't have any spit left in his mouth. "Yes."

"Of course it does. That's just how you feel about me. You want to keep me safe from harm. You want to keep me warm," he began, stepping closer to Roy and leaning against his chest, putting his arms around him. "Because my parents are gone too. And I need you to help me. I need someone to protect me."

"Yes," Roy said, fright making his legs frozen stiff, but his arms moved around Ed's back.

"But why should it be you? What have you done to deserve my trust? You remember what you did to these children," Ed said, his voice muffled by Roy's uniform.

All of a sudden, a fireball came in through the door.

The room exploded.

The walls crumbled.

The ceiling gave out.

Children were screaming. Coughing. Pleading for mercy. For help. For their parents.

Then another blast.

The children were all turned to ashes.

Roy could only watch.

Ed was still hugging his chest.

"This is what you did. You will fail me, just as you have failed everyone else. You got yourself trapped with me. You let her hurt me. You will let me die, won't you? Because that is what you do. You kill people, Roy. You're a murderer. You killed me the moment you showed up on the doorstep back in Resembool."

"No, I wouldn't! I didn't!" Roy protested as Ed slid out of the embrace.

Then the Roy from outside entered the room, fingers poised to snap, his eyes dark. He looked straight at Ed.

And then he snapped.

Ed was consumed with flames, screaming.

Dying.

Then he fell to the ground, reduced to nothing more than a burned corpse.

Roy roared, running at the other one, hitting him hard in the face. He hit him and he hit him. He hit every inch he could reach. The other Roy didn't even fight him.

Then Roy clasped his hands around his neck. "How dare you kill him! HOW DARE YOU! HOW COULD YOU! YOU MONSTER!"

Roy kept his hands around his throat, squeezing the life out of the man who had killed the child he had sworn to protect.

Then the man grinned. "Why are you so surprised?"

Roy froze, staring at himself.

"I WON'T FAIL HIM!"

Then he squeezed harder, watching as his double grinned wider and wider.

"I think you already did."

* * *

Roy woke up. He was sitting on all fours on the bed. He was drenched with cold sweat.

His hands were still clasped around someone's neck, though.

He looked straight into the frightened golden eyes.

They weren't blinking.

Edward wasn't breathing.

* * *

Ed woke up as the warm arm landed on his hurt side. He looked at Mustang. He was out like a light. What worried Ed, though, was the way the man seemed to be sleeping like he had been knocked out.

"Colonel? Can you hear me?"

There was no answer. And so Ed kept trying to wake the man for the next hour, still getting no response.

"COLONEL! COME ON!"

Ed was sitting up in the bed, shaking his shoulder, causing large amounts of pain to shoot through his arm from his wrist.

Nothing worked.

And then suddenly Mustang shouted before he began whimpering, pleading.

"COLONEL! WAKE UP!"

Then Mustang roared and he hit Ed in the face, sending him backwards.

"Colonel! Why did you do that?" Ed protested instinctively, holding his throbbing nose, tears in his eyes.

The Colonel began punching him, not even giving Ed enough time to move away. Ed could only lie there as he was beaten again and again, shouting at the Colonel to stop, to wake up.

But he didn't.

Ed could hardly breathe from the repeated punches and tears were going down his cheeks, blurring everything.

"YOU MONSTER!" Mustang roared at him.

Then he clasped his hands around Ed's neck.

Ed couldn't fight it.

He couldn't breathe.

He could just beat weakly at Mustang's arms with his left hand as panic coursed through his entire being.

And then he couldn't even do that.

"Colonel, please!" Ed gasped.

His throat was hurting, everything was turning dark around him.

"Why are you so surprised?" were the last words that Ed heard.

* * *

Roy was panicking. He had done this. He had killed Ed.

Then he folded his hands and began chest compressions. "Come on, Ed, don't leave me here. You can't just die like that," Roy said desperately, his chest tightening and making it hard to breathe. This wasn't real, it couldn't be.

Following the steps of the CPR course they had once a year at HQ, Roy kept trying to get the small body to start breathing again. "Come on, don't do this to me!" he said with increasing desperation as Ed's chest still refused to rise and fall. "Alphonse is waiting for you to come home to him! You can't just stay like this!"

Roy had to have been trying to resuscitate him for two minutes by now. He was sitting there, smashing his fists down on the small chest, tears welling at the corners of his eyes. "BREATHE, DAMN IT!"

He kept working, trying, failing.

Then suddenly Melanie was at his side, pushing him away with her unusual strength before stabbing the kid straight in the chest with a needle. "My my, Roy, you're not much of a protector, are you?"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM! HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH?!" Roy shouted, almost leaping at her, but she pushed him back with a simple touch, making Roy feel more useless than ever.

She just smiled and left the room.

Then suddenly Edward began gasping for air, coughing. Roy had never been so relieved in his life. The kid turned over on his side and vomited onto the floor. Gasping and retching. His breaths were hitched, but at least they were **_there_**.

Then he just lay there on his side, breathing deeply, his back turned to Roy.

Roy didn't even know what to say. He had sworn to protect him and instead he had just killed him. He stretched out a hand, putting it on his arm and the kid flinched immediately.

Which was when Roy noticed the multiple red marks on his skin, as well as his own bruised and bleeding knuckles.

**_Oh god_**.

"Edward?" Roy asked carefully, his stomach twisting.

The kid suddenly turned around towards him. He looked angry and terrified at the same time.

"Colonel?" he rasped. He had tears streaming down his cheeks, he didn't even seem to know it himself.

Roy just lifted him up, hugging him tightly to his chest. The kid didn't even protest. He just kept panting, filling his lungs with much needed oxygen as Roy rested his face into his head, relief flooding him at having Ed breathing again.

"I'm sorry, Ed, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I swear. She drugged me. I'm sorry," Roy muttered over and over again.

Edward just went limp in his arms, leaning heavily against him. Roy wiped the tears away from the kid's cheeks. He couldn't help but notice how they were red and already swelling.

God, how bad he felt. The way those golden eyes had been staring up at him, frozen in fright. Roy may have only had the kid on his team for seven weeks, but he was his responsibility, and he had killed him. He had killed him with his own two hands. He had killed him after beating him he didn't know how many times.

He had beaten and he had killed the twelve-year-old boy that he had sworn to protect.

Roy just hugged him tighter. The kid was probably the only reason that Roy was sort of keeping it together right now. He had to protect him, he was innocent in all of this, and he had been killed for it.

And so Roy sat there, cradling the boy in his arms, cherishing every breath that the small body took.

"Colonel? Are you okay?" Ed asked hoarsely all of a sudden.

Roy was surprised by the question. How could the kid ask him that after what he had just done to him?

"No," he answered truthfully, his mouth dry.

"Why did you attack me? You were shouting that I was a monster and said something about "why are you so surprised?" or something," Ed asked, his voice weak.

"I dreamt that I watched myself kill you and I attacked the other me," Roy answered, his whole chest tight and his voice shaky. "I'm sorry... So sorry."

"Oh. That would explain it."

Then a little arm snaked its way around Roy's right side and the kid hugged him back.

"Edward, you shouldn't feel the need to comfort me after what I did. I should be the one to comfort you," Roy protested weakly. He was supposed to protect him and he had done this.

"Then we'll comfort each other and never say anything about it to anyone," Ed said hoarsely, leaning his head into him.

Roy couldn't help but chuckle slightly despite the horror and fear and disgust and everything else that was making him feel sick and shaky.

"My lips are sealed, kid."


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm so sorry about not updating this! My muse hasn't been working with me on this story, but I swear that it's not abandoned! Updates will probably be a bit irregular though...**

**But other than that, thank you so much you wonderful people for your response to this!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

Ed's throat was sore. It hurt to swallow. He had woken up once again in the Colonel's arms, but this time Ed wasn't even going to fight it. If they were going to get out of this alive then they needed to keep trusting each other.

Ed was hurting all over. He had lost count yesterday, but he knew that he had received more than twenty hard punches to his face and upper body, including his back when he had tried to avoid the incoming attacks. It hurt to breathe, but he wasn't surprised by that. He knew that he must have some bruised ribs and probably some cracked ones as well. And of course, his stomach hurt like hell because there was now bruising as well as the wound in his abdomen.

Ed lifted his head to assess the damage and saw that the Colonel was going to have one hell of a guilt trip once he woke up. Almost every inch of his chest had already turned purple and judging by the way his face hurt, his cheeks were bruised too and he probably had a black eye. His left arm didn't look much better and Ed just knew that no matter how wrong he was, the Colonel was going to blame himself for it.

And Ed honestly felt like shit. His body hurt, he had been tortured with some damn drug and he was stuck in this hellhole for he didn't even know how long.

_Chances are that I'm gonna die here…_

No. He couldn't allow himself to think like that.

Mustang shifted in his sleep and Ed felt a slight twinge of fear. Ed wasn't afraid of him when he was awake, but after staring into that furious face with the closed eyes and hearing him ask "why are you so surprised?" Ed was afraid of what the Colonel could literally dream up. It had been horrible to be trapped there not able to move because of his missing limbs and his wrist. The first two hits had after all knocked the wind out of him which had opened for a lot more punches. And lying there, staring up at him as he felt the life being choked out of him... He had almost been as scared as when the transmutation failed.

But no, he wasn't scared of the Colonel, not really. Not when he was awake. It would have been infinitely worse if he had actually had those onyx eyes stare into his as those strong hands clasped his throat. As they killed him.

Ed still couldn't really believe that he had actually died.

His thoughts were interrupted as the door was opened and Melanie slid inside the room. Ed immediately tensed as he saw her mischievous smile. She was solely focused upon him. Then she licked her lips slowly. Ed had a bad feeling.

"Hello, Edward, dear. I'm so glad to see that you're up. My, my, Daddy Roy really did a number on you yesterday, didn't he?" She went forwards and sat down on the bed beside him, slowly lifting Mustang's left arm off his chest. Ed suddenly felt a lot more vulnerable. But he was still pissed off by her.

"What do you want?!" Ed demanded.

The Colonel stirred next to him. Thank god. It was a lot easier when they felt like they were two against one.

Melanie slowly began stroking his cheek just hard enough to make the left side of his face throb with pain from the bruising. Ed felt really disgusted by this lady.

Mustang grunted and then woke up. "Get away from him…" he growled.

"Oh, Roy! You're awake! Good. Then I can continue to play with you."

"Like hell you will," Ed growled, getting fucking sick of her sadistic whims.

Melanie leaned over him, trapping him underneath her. She held her face just about ten centimetres above his, studying his face. Ed was uncomfortable as hell. Her eyes focused on his lips and he desperately wanted to get away. "You know, Edward, you tasted really good yesterday." She eyed the bandage on his neck from where she had bitten off a piece of his flesh.

Then suddenly she leaned down on his face and was fucking kissing him and Ed was simply struggling to keep his mouth closed as the psychotic, manipulative bitch tried to pry his lips apart before she began licking his teeth. Then he heard a pissed off roar and Mustang had thrown himself at her and the pair of them fell to the floor beside the bed. Ed watched as Melanie laughed before she pinned Mustang to the floor beneath her, using an illogical amount of strength as she held an arm on each of Mustang's wrists.

"DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH HIM LIKE THAT AGAIN!" the Colonel roared at her. Ed was surprised by the amount of hatred that those eyes held. He had never known how protective the man could be before now.

"Oooh, hello, Daddy Roy! You know, it's so much fun to see you panicking like this. To see the fright it brings you. Because even though we both know that I'm not going to actually go all the way, you still get so scared that I'll change my mind one day!" She laughed. It was way too playful and innocent. "You know, you two are the most fun little playthings I've ever had."

Mustang growled at her.

"What do you want?" Ed wanted to know whatever the hell she was planning to do to them today.

"We're going to have breakfast."

"What?"

"We're having breakfast down in the dining room. I suggest that you two get cleaned up, it will be ready in twenty minutes. The bathroom is down the hall, third door to the right. And before you say anything that you'll regret, just know that I'm being really nice to you two."

"How?"

"Well, Edward, you're hardly in any shape to get yourself cleaned up, are you? Not after what Daddy Roy did."

Ed felt his cheeks redden. The thought of the Colonel cleaning him up was bad enough, but Melanie? He felt a shiver run through his body. No way in hell.

Which meant that Mustang was going to have to wash him, seeing every wince because of the bruises and the broken ribs, making him feel how much he had hurt him the previous day.

That sadistic bitch.

"Why do we need to wash ourselves? Why is it so important?"

"It's easy, Ed. I have a heightened sense of smell, and you two stink of sweat and blood. I like my playthings to smell nice, it makes it much more enjoyable. So you two are going to get washed up, and if you refuse, I'll do it for you. As you can see, I'm a lot stronger than I look." She gestured her head towards Mustang who still had his wrists pinned to the floor. She licked her lips again. "So you don't really have a choice." She let go of Mustang's left wrist and put her fingers to his chest, digging her nails into his flesh as she slowly dragged her hand down to his navel, creating five deep cuts across his chest. She then slowly licked her now blood-covered fingers. "You know what? Edward tastes better, maybe because he hasn't gone bad yet from being in the military."

She stood up. "Oh, and Roy, I can tell if you two aren't properly cleaned, so make sure that it's a deep scrub, otherwise I'll be the one to do it next time."

And so she left the room.

Shit.

Mustang got up, his chest was covered in blood by now, but it didn't seem too serious. Ed just kept lying where he was. His ribs were aching like hell when he tried to move after all. And honestly, he was just trying to prepare himself for the damned humiliation he was about to face.

"Edward? Are you all right?" the Colonel asked, sitting down by his side. His eyes swept over Ed's bruised face and chest and his eyes filled with guilt and pain.

"Yeah."

"I broke your ribs, didn't I?" he said, looking disgusted with himself.

Ed thought he had managed to hide it. "How d'you know?"

"Because you fell asleep before me yesterday and the way you reacted to me putting you back onto the bed was a pretty tell-tale sign. Why didn't you say anything?"

Ed didn't even know how to answer that without giving the man even more guilt. He hadn't noticed before now because last time he was awake he had been too filled with adrenaline after being killed by him?

"Listen, Colonel, it isn't your fault. She drugged you. I just didn't want you to feel even more guilty about it."

Mustang sighed. "Edward, I'm so, so sorry."

"Just stop it, it's not your fault." Ed tried to wave him off, but the man didn't seem to be ready to let it go so easily.

"Edward, I killed you for god's sakes! I beat you up and then I killed you and how the hell aren't you even scared of me?!"

"Because your eyes were closed. You kill me with your eyes open, actually responsive, and then I'll be scared of you! You were trapped in a fucking nightmare! You thought you were attacking someone for killing me, so just take it easy! Now let's get to that fucking bathroom and get this over with."

Ed was going to kill Melanie for this.

Mustang seemed to be torn between wanting to say something else and just sink into the earth. After a few seconds he sighed and lifted Ed up. Ed felt fucking humiliated by this, he was being carried like a baby just to be washed like one as well! And it didn't help that his ribs were screaming with pain either.

And so Ed was carried out into the bathroom and put down on the toilet seat, unable to keep the grunt of discomfort away. He couldn't help but notice the lack of mirrors in the house. Ed saw that clean clothes were laid out for them. Ed was once again going to have to settle for boxers. That damned bitch was still guilt-tripping the Colonel. Mustang was left with slightly more dignity. He was getting a pair of boxers and an undershirt, as well as what seemed like a clean set of bandages for the cuts on his chest.

"I swear, Colonel, if you breathe one word of this to anyone, I will kill you."

"Trust me, Edward, I won't joke about this."

Ed could still see the hurt in the Colonel's eyes. The man seemed to be drowning in guilt. It annoyed Ed, but at the same time, he could see that if he had been in the same position, he would probably have felt just as guilty.

"Well, you're going first, you should get that cleaned up." Ed nodded towards his blood soaked shirt, trying to get him going before he started blaming himself even more for Melanie's psychotic whims.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. You're bleeding, I'm not. Pretty easy, really."

And so Ed closed his eyes, letting the man step into the shower, dreading his own turn, and worse, the fact that he was unable to remove his boxers because of his ribs as well as the lack of limbs and his broken wrist.

Shit.

The Colonel got done after a while, Ed guessed that the wounds on his chest were pretty bad. He heard the shower curtain getting pulled open. After another minute, he heard a sigh. "You can open your eyes now." Ed did as he was told and saw that his bandages were bulging slightly underneath the undershirt.

"So …" Ed began. "I guess we just gotta get this over with."

The Colonel sighed, then he moved forwards, getting Ed to his foot, making him steady himself against the wall. "Trust me, kid, I like this just as bad as you do, and my eyes are closed." Then Ed felt his boxers being yanked off quickly before he was lifted up and into the tub. The pain from his ribs was really bad. The next second the older man had thrown him a washcloth without looking at him. "Use that to cover your lower parts. It'll offer you a bit of privacy."

Ed did as he was told, thankful for the man's tactfulness. "Thanks."

And so the wash actually went a lot better than Ed had hoped, although the few glimpses he caught of his superior's face showed just how much this was tormenting him. Ed tried to keep his grunts of pain to a minimum, but the way his ribs were aching made it extremely hard. Mustang had done as he had been told, obviously not wanting to leave Ed alone in such a vulnerable position with Melanie, but Ed was soon done and back in his fresh pair of boxers. He found it creepy how Melanie knew their sizes.

With only one arm, Ed had to go with letting his hair hang loose, making him feel even worse than he already looked. He was ready to kill Melanie.

And so Mustang lifted him up and carried him through the house until they came to the dining room on the ground floor. Ed got pissed off at the pain that Mustang's eyes carried. What Melanie was doing to torture him was obviously working.

Mustang opened the doors into the dining room, where they were met with eleven people staring at them, Melanie sitting at the end of the table, smiling. The rest of them were Ishbalans.

"Hello, my toys! It's time for breakfast!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much for your response, guys!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

* * *

**Chapter seven**

Melanie smiled widely at them, gesturing with her hand towards the two free chairs at the end of the table. "Well, please sit down you two."

Roy carried Ed over to the chairs, putting him carefully down on one of them, not failing to notice the winces caused by his broken ribs. He then sat himself down next to him, thankful that Melanie was sitting at the other end of the table, far away from his subordinate. She wouldn't be able to hurt him from where she was sitting.

**_Although you're the reason that his ribs are broken, aren't you Roy? The marks around his throat are made by your hands._**

Roy felt sick with what he had done, absolutely sick. He had actually killed his subordinate with his own hands after breaking his ribs because he had beat him to a pulp. And the child had been unable to move away. How horrifying that must have been for him, Roy had no idea.

He looked down at his own knuckles for the twentieth time this morning, noticing the broken skin, the swelling, the bruising. He hadn't been pulling his punches. When he had been hallucinating or whatever the hell it was, he had been aiming to hurt the other him for killing Ed. To make him pay.

How could he not have noticed that the body was far too small? How could he have killed the one person that actually was on his side here? That didn't want to see him tortured in this way?

It took a lot for Roy to crack under torture. A hell of a lot. But hurting him through his twelve-year-old subordinate? A mere child that has seen more than enough hell already? He didn't really know how much he could take of that.

"So, I guess that introductions are in order," Melanie said, smiling as she stood up and walked over to them. Roy tensed up as she stood behind Ed. "Everyone: this lovely young boy is Edward Elric, the military's new puppy. He's not so fond of games, but he's so fun to play with. Just look." She slid her arms over his shoulders and began pressing her hands against his broken ribs, making him wince as he bit down on his lip. Roy was going to hit her soon, he just knew it.

"Aww, Ed is trying to play tough right now, so maybe it would help if I —" She began kissing the side of his face before she slowly began licking it instead. Ed reacted instantly and Roy had to say he was impressed as the boy simply grabbed her tongue in his fist and turned around towards her. "Stop it you perv," he growled.

Melanie looked shocked and incredibly stupid.

Then she _meowed _and bit Ed's hand, making him let go. She then grabbed his shoulders, throwing him to the floor. Ed yelped with pain. She stood on all fours above him. "You remember what I said about not liking annoying brats? Well, I suppose you didn't learn your lesson last time! Which means that we are removing some of your privileges." She dragged Ed's boxers off him and Roy panicked for a second. She wasn't really going to do _that_, was she? She then stood up, leaving a blushing Ed fully exposed on the floor, before she grabbed his wrist and dragged him off. Roy was on his feet, she wasn't going to do that to him, he wouldn't let her. "No worries, Roy, I'm just putting him in the freezer for an hour. Maybe it will cool him down a bit. Make him reevaluate his behaviour. Now sit down again or it will be two hours instead."

Ed looked at him, fright in his eyes, but he gestured ever so slightly back to the table with a nod. Roy did as he was told.

Melanie opened a large steel door and dragged Ed inside, leaving him on the floor and then she walked out again, closing the door behind her. She then walked up to what had to be the thermostat, and she turned the knob, probably to make Ed freeze even worse.

Roy was going to kill her.

Melanie walked over and picked up the pair of boxers and then shredded them with her nails. "Oh, well, so much for showing kindness, I guess."

Roy was boiling with anger, but didn't dare say anything. Not when he couldn't protect Ed. Not when he was at the mercy of Roy's actions.

"I'm sorry people, it seems that you won't get to see how fun Ed is. But he behaved badly so he had to go sit in the corner. Hopefully he learns his lesson."

Then Melanie came over and sat herself down on Roy's lap, putting her right arm over his shoulders. "Go on, Roy, put your arms around me, I won't bite. Seeing you hold onto Ed made me a bit envious. I want some warmth too. Or I'll just hurt your little boy some more, and Daddy Roy doesn't want that, does he?"

Roy snarled, but did as he was told, putting his arms around Melanie. Oh, how he hated her. Melanie made a purring sound and snuggled closer to him, resting her cheek against his.

"This is nice, isn't it?" she said, stroking his free cheek.

Roy just growled.

"Oh, Roy, why don't you just let yourself have some fun? I know that I am an attractive girl, many of the scientists certainly thought so. They were all over the place."

Roy actually felt sorry for the woman in a way, but not enough to not feel sickened by her. And he was worried about Ed. Being stuck alone in a freezer for an hour wasn't going to be fun. And Melanie was robbing him of his pride by removing even his underwear. The boy was twelve, damn it! He wasn't supposed to be here. Roy still deserved this, but Ed didn't. Ed was just a small boy that had been unfortunate as hell.

"Well, Roy, it's time for you to meet the rest of my guests."

* * *

Ed was shivering. He was lying on the cold concrete floor in the total darkness. His shivering was making his ribs ache like hell. He hated to admit it, but he was scared. This wasn't what the military was supposed to be like. Yes, he would be sent out on missions and have an irritating Colonel as his boss, but he was supposed to be reading through research documents and find a way to get Al's body back. He hadn't thought that he'd be tortured and humiliated and left in the darkness of a freezer.

He hated this. Every single breath was torture and he didn't even know what the bitch was doing to the Colonel. Because Ed couldn't help here. He was merely a tool with two missing limbs and a few broken bones. He needed the Colonel not to give in to his guilt, otherwise they would die here. He needed to be there to keep Mustang thinking straight, because Ed didn't want to be left here alone. He didn't want to break his promise to Al. He had to get him his body back.

_I can't die here. I can't do that to Al._

Ed curled his right leg slowly up to his chest in order to try and preserve at least some warmth. He didn't know what else he could do. He would just have to ride it out, just like the automail.

But lying here, naked, hurt, and so cold, he felt like a little kid. He just wanted some warmth and some safety.

Honestly? He wanted a hug. For someone to tell him that it was going to be all right. For a way out of this. Because Ed was useless. He couldn't do anything to get out. And it was so cold. He wanted this nightmare to end, to be saved, to go home and have Al take care of him until he was back to normal.

**Stop thinking like that, Ed! It won't do you any good! You have to keep strong or you will die here. Just focus on how you're going to beat Melanie into a pulp!**

_But how will I do that? I can hardly move._

**Don't worry about that. You will find a way!**

Ed honestly wasn't so sure anymore.

And so Ed kept fighting that internal battle of wills for a long time.

* * *

Roy felt dreadful. The ten Ishbalans had all told their stories. They had made him relive the monstrosities he had committed. He couldn't get himself to look at them. He had stolen so much from them.

Melanie had seated herself on the other side of the table as they talked. suddenly she jumped up. "Oh! It seems we have forgotten about dear Edward. He must have been there for about ninety minutes now. I suppose you should go and fetch him, Roy. You deserve the be the one to see him first, after all, you were the one who failed to notice how much time we have spent here."

That bitch. The only reason Roy hadn't said anything was because he was afraid that Melanie would stretch it to be two hours because of her unstable mood.

Roy stood up immediately, walking over to the steel door, opening it. His heart clenched as his eyes fell on the naked, shivering form of his youngest subordinate lying curled up on the floor. Ed lifted his head slowly. His teeth were chattering loudly. "Colonel?" he said weakly.

Roy immediately walked over and picked him up gently, trying to mind his ribs while also trying to get him out of there as quickly as possible. Ed was stone cold.

"Well, Roy, you're free to return to your room, just don't try lending him your undershirt, it will only earn further punishment," Melanie said.

Roy didn't need asking twice, he needed to get Ed some warmth right now. Ed was obviously in a lot of pain as well, probably due to the violent shivering combined with his broken ribs. The boy clutched his undershirt in his hand and seemed to cling onto the warmth coming from Roy.

"Thanks for getting me," Ed said through chattering teeth.

"Of course. Now let's get you warmed up."

"Sounds like a plan."

Roy carried him over to the bed and put him under the duvet before he slid under it himself and hugged Ed tightly, trying to lend him some warmth.

"You know, Colonel," Ed said from under his chin, still shivering a lot. "It was fucking great to actually just get that bitch to stop for a second. She looked so stupid. I'd almost say that it was worth it."

"That may be, Ed, but you still shouldn't have done it. I don't want her to hurt you anymore."

"You have to admit that she looked hilarious for a second, though?" Ed seemed to be laughing slightly, but the laughter soon turned into a set of shaky breaths instead.

A few seconds later, Roy felt something wet against his collarbone, just about where Ed's eyes would be.

Roy felt his stomach clench. "Don't worry kid, we'll get through this."

"I don't wanna die here," came a frightened whisper.

"I won't let you."


	8. Chapter 8

**So, I'm back from the hospital after having surgery on my upper jaw, which means that I now have a broken jaw and a face so swollen that I look like a hamster.**

**I would therefore like to give a general warning that if something should seem amiss with the chapter, it's probably the painkillers and lack of sleep, so please go easy on me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

* * *

**Chapter eight**

Roy just held onto Ed, trying to get him warmed up again. To hear his fear being expressed like that made it all the more real to him that he needed to get him out. Roy couldn't let himself wallow in guilt, because then she'd win and they would never get out. He wouldn't get_ Ed_ out and he would just be forced to live in this hell for however long Melanie wanted him alive.

The boy was still ice cold and Roy just kept trying to get him warm again. Ed wasn't crying anymore, it had just been a slight moment of weakness. Or so Roy hoped, because it nearly tore his heart in half.

"Hey, Ed, how are you doing?" Roy asked.

"I'm cold."

Even though Roy knew that the child was so long before he said it, it still made Roy hug him tighter and start stroking his back rapidly. Roy was the adult here after all. He was the one who was supposed to take care of Ed. He had failed him pretty much so far.

_**For god's sakes, Roy! You killed him with your own two hands!**_

Roy knew he deserved this, god knows he did, but Ed didn't. Ed is an innocent **child**. He should never have known what torture feels like. Yet he wasn't breaking. The kid had been through hell a few times now, yet all he did was shed a few tears. No sobbing and screaming for mercy or death. Just a few silent tears. Which scared Roy, because it meant that he couldn't really know how bad the kid was doing. The normal indicators were useless. So if Ed shed tears, it meant that he probably needed this hug. And so Roy just acted instinctively and bent down and kissed the top of his head. "I'm so sorry I got you into this mess."

"Colonel? Now you're just creeping me out." Ed chuckled slightly, although Roy had a feeling that it was a way to handle the fear and pain. "What would the others think if they knew that you were hugging a naked kid to you in bed while only wearing your underwear? You shouldn't compromise yourself further with kissing my head, it might be taken the wrong way."

Roy felt himself shiver at the idea. That was just disturbing which was just what the kid was aiming for. He was trying to get Roy out of feeling sorry for him. He was trying to get Roy to act like his normal, invincible self so that he could save them. Roy still couldn't help but cringe at the idea of himself having any ulterior motives. That was just so, so wrong.

"Please don't suggest that."

"I'm just saying … Imagine if anyone from the military came through that door right now. It wouldn't really look too good for you, would it?" Roy could hear the smirk in Ed's voice. Then the kid cracked. "Gaaah! The mental pictures! What the hell was I thinking?! That's so incredibly sick! Sick! Sick! Sick! It's bad enough with that bitch! Now I'm gonna have nightmares about you two for weeks! Gaaah!"

Roy shivered slightly. "Glad that we agree."

They were silent for a few seconds, then they began laughing at the same time.

Ed kept laughing until it clearly became too much for his ribs and he just started focusing on steadying his breathing. "But honestly, Colonel, do you think they'll find us soon?"

* * *

Maes was worried as hell about what could have happened Roy and Ed. He had come to East along with Major Armstrong yesterday, and had been given the news two days ago that they had found the train they had been on obviously sabotaged with flecks of blood on the ground beneath it, although the person that had made them had obviously been moved. Maes did not find it comforting that the smashed window above the blood had been the one that belonged to the compartment that it had been confirmed had been occupied by the two alchemists. Nor did he like to hear that there was a rather big and sharp piece of glass that was partially stained by blood as though it had been pulled out of someone's body.

No, he didn't like this at all.

Then there was the youngest Elric who was worried sick about his brother. Maes's heart really ached for the kid. His brother had last been heard from five days ago. And him and Roy were the only passengers that weren't accounted for.

Question was, who wanted them?

Well, that was easy; about every criminal that Roy had ever arrested plus the people that were wronged by the events in Ishbal, plus the people who just didn't like State Alchemists, plus the people who didn't like Roy for what he did although they didn't have any direct connection with him. And then there were their relatives. So a total list of about a million suspects. Minimum. And Maes wouldn't be surprised if they had taken Ed just to make Roy behave.

At least Maes hoped that it was that simple and that the boy was being treated okay.

Although it was probably wishful thinking.

But that was all that they knew. This had obviously been done by professionals who had left about zero traces. Which at least sort of supported the theory that they were alive. After all, someone had gone to great lengths to capture the alchemists alive. Which probably meant that since there weren't any ransoms, Ed and Roy were most likely being tortured if they weren't dead already.

"Please, get me anything!" Maes said as he went into the office, startling the occupants.

* * *

Ed was getting warmer now. The Colonel was still hugging him tightly but Ed didn't really mind. It was just so much nicer and warmer than being locked inside that freezer. The sun was setting outside, making the room glow with orange, although the bars on the window made dark lines on the walls to remind them of their captivity.

Then the door opened and Ed heard Melanie come in once again, this time wearing a set of pyjamas consisting of a red silk singlet and red silk shorts. She was humming. Ed felt the Colonel pull him closer to his chest protectively, and Ed didn't really mind. He was not too keen on having her too close to him in his state of dress. He felt her sit down on his side of the bed and felt a shiver go up his back. Hadn't she bothered him enough for today?

Apparently not, because next moment he felt himself being pulled away from the Colonel and rolled over on his back, the duvet pulled off of him. Then Melanie sat herself down on his chest, making him yell before he could stop himself. She was straddling him, pinning his arm beneath her right knee. Ed stared up at her, and couldn't help but feel scared. Her eyes looked unusually cat-like in the sunset. "Hello, Edward. I hope you're ready to play now? You weren't quite willing this morning after all."

_Ah, fuck._

"What are you going to do?"

"Well, first I thought that it was time for some supper. Can't have you that hungry. You haven't eaten for about four days now."

_We've been here that long?_

And so Melanie stuck a fork in a plate of meatballs and spaghetti lying next to Ed's head. The slight shifting of pressure brought another wave of pain from his ribs. He grunted with pain. Then Melanie started sliding the meatball back and forth over his lips. "Come on now, Edward, eat up."

Ed opened his mouth and Melanie kept feeding him until all the food was gone from the plate.

"Oh, Ed, you're full of grease and sauce, I guess I have to clean it off." She then leaned forwards and started licking away all the remnants of food from his face, making Ed want to both gag and punch her at the same time. She did it slowly and sensually until everything was gone. Ed felt dirty, he could smell her around his mouth.

Melanie then lay down beside him, rolling him over to her, making him groan with agony as she held him tightly against her chest, sliding her legs around his, locking him in place. "Now isn't this nice and warm? Just like Daddy Roy?"

Ed didn't say anything. He didn't dare talk to her. But he was pretty sure that he preferred being hugged by the Colonel. First of all, at least that was safe and the man wasn't raping him with his eyes twenty times a minute.

Melanie then slid her hands slowly down his back. "Or maybe this is better? Maybe we could have some fun?" Melanie started patting his behind, which was when Ed vomited straight into her face.

That made the sick bitch release him pretty quickly. Ed hadn't eaten for days, and in his fear of what Melanie was going to do to him, had made him oblivious to the fact that the portion he had been served had been much too large for him. Adding the fact that she was insinuating that they'd do _that_, and Ed had no chance of keeping it down.

She squealed with displeasure, chunks food hanging all over her face and singlet, and she jumped out of the bed, clearly disgusted. "I see you really don't want that, Edward, so I guess I'd better stop dreaming that you do. It really is a shame, you have such a fine body and I would have been so much easier on you if had just played along. You truly are too young for those games, aren't you? Well, from tomorrow on, I'll give you and Daddy Roy hell for this. You really disappointed me, Ed. You truly did. And it would have spared you so much pain. I could have made your life _bliss_ after all. But you truly have become a military mutt, haven't you? You really belong to Daddy Roy. Which means that you should enjoy a peaceful night, because this will be the last one you'll ever have."

And so she carried the the plate with her and left the room leaving Ed both relieved and scared shitless at the same time. And Ed still felt sick and weak and shivery from Melanie's latest, and thankfully, last advances.

He suddenly felt a pair of strong arms grab his upper body and pull him towards their chest, and although it hurt like hell, Ed was just thankful for it. At least these arms didn't want to hurt him. They didn't want to touch him that way. They were just strong and warm and safe. And so Ed just rested his head on Mustang's chest, and didn't even notice that he was crying until the man gently wiped the tears away from his bruised cheeks. "It's okay, Ed. You'll be okay. I promise."

Which was when Ed realised just how much Melanie scared him. And that he was so glad to have that pressure off him. If she was just going to torture him, then that was fine, he could handle that, but if she had kept him as her little toy? As a plaything that she could touch and do everything with? Ed really didn't want to think about it, it made that sick feeling rise in his chest again. Torture felt a hell of a lot safer than what Melanie had wanted him for. The lady really disgusted him. It made him feel dirty and unclean that she had actually wanted him that way. That it hadn't been idle threats. And it had scared him. It had scared him so much to realise that he was basically powerless from letting it happen if it hadn't been for the fact that she had changed her mind.

And so Ed just lay sideways on top of Mustang's chest, hugging him with his one arm, crying silently into his shoulder. Mustang gently pulled the duvet over him before he put his hands over his back and hugged him. Ed really needed this one safe thing. No straying hands, no syringes, no seeking to hurt. Just peace and warmth. Because he really was just a child. A scared, naked child with missing limbs and no way to defend himself.

Which meant that he clung onto the one parental figure that he could find. The one person that was willing to bear some of the weight for him. Because Ed really just wanted to get away from here. He wanted to pretend that this was just a nightmare and that things were going to be okay. That he was safe and warm and cared for just like back in Resembool. That he wasn't going to be in a world of pain from tomorrow on. That a fucking psycho hadn't just made him throw up his meagre stomach contents because she had wanted to do things to him.

And so Ed didn't really mind the light kiss on his forehead or the whispered words of comfort that came from the man hugging him just like the child he was.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

* * *

**Chapter nine**

Roy held onto Ed, both relieved and terrified at the same time. He couldn't even begin to understand how terrifying this must be for him. Roy had been ready to pounce as Melanie's hands slid down his subordinate's back, but Ed didn't know that.

At least the kid wouldn't have that kind of pressure on him anymore. But it hardly made things better. Tomorrow the torture would just continue. What the hell was going to happen to the kid? Roy didn't even care about himself at this point.

"I'm so sorry, Ed," Roy said heavily to the boy that was resting his head on Roy's left shoulder, covering his chest in a hug.

"Stop apologising. You weren't the one who put me in that fucking freezer or gave me that damn drug."

"But still, I shouldn't have let you get in this situation in the first place. These people are punishing you for my actions. You shouldn't be the one to suffer."

"It's not your fault when you clearly don't want me here, so just shut up."

Roy just hugged him tighter. They were never going to agree on this. Roy was going to feel responsible for this no matter what.

"I still feel bad about you being stuck here like this," Roy said.

"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly gonna say that this is what I imagined military life to be like."

"It's not supposed to." Roy spoke with such a finality in his voice that Ed went quiet for a few minutes.

"Colonel, answer me honestly. Are we going to survive this?" Roy could hear the slight tinge of fear in Ed's voice.

Roy sighed and hugged Ed tightly, putting a hand behind the boy's head. "I … don't know. But I'll do anything I can to make sure that you make it out of this alive."

"Thanks. I … I can't die here. I can't do that to Al. I just can't."

Roy began stroking the top of his head. "I won't let you die, Ed, I won't."

Ed began chuckling hollowly. "This is so stupid. You must think I'm weak. I can't even get through four days without cracking. Without crying like a damned kid."

Roy felt a surge of anger at that. "Edward, don't you dare say that. Don't you dare call yourself stupid or weak for this. Within these last four days you've been subjected to some inhuman torture drug, you've been stuck naked inside a freezer, had two of your limbs taken from you, been stabbed, had your wrist broken and you've been beaten to a pulp and then killed only to be revived to once again find yourself stuck in this hellhole. You're not weak and believe me, Ed, I've seen soldiers breaking down from less torture than what you've been subjected to. You're not breaking down just because you're showing some human emotion in this whole mess."

"But still—"

"**But nothing, Ed! You're twelve, damn it!**"

Ed flinched at the sharpness in Roy's voice. Roy froze. He really didn't want to scare Ed. And the last time he'd raised his voice like that, he had ended up killing him.

"I'm sorry, Ed, I didn't mean to scare you, it's just that –"

"Forget it, it's fine."

"Edward, I –"

"I said forget it."

Roy felt horrible. It was the first time he'd seen Ed flinch because Roy raised his voice. The kid may have only been in the military for one-and-a-half months, but the pair of them had bickered plenty of times during that time and Roy had raised his voice often.

It only showed that some sort of trust had been broken ever since Roy made those marks around Ed's throat. And Roy didn't blame him one bit. It was Roy that had killed him, the kid had every right to be scared.

"Ed, I can't just forget it. I shouldn't have raised my voice. Not after what happened last time."

"Don't, Colonel."

"Ed, please, just let me apologise."

"No. Stop it."

"Edward –"

"**Stop it**!"

"Ed, I can't just –"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Ed was sitting up, obviously trying to ignore his pain. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP ABOUT IT! YES, I FLINCHED! OKAY?! NO, I DON'T BLAME YOU! I JUST CAN'T STOP MYSELF FROM REMEMBERING THAT LAST TIME YOU SOUNDED LIKE THAT, YOU PUNCHED THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME BEFORE YOU STRANGLED ME TO DEATH! I CAN'T HELP BUT REMEMBER THAT THE LAST THING YOU SAID WAS "WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED?"! I CAN'T STOP THE DREAD THAT COMES BECAUSE OF THAT EVEN IF I DON'T BLAME YOU, OKAY?! SO JUST LEAVE IT! JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT! I KNOW I'M JUST A WEAK CHILD THAT SCARED BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING SITUATION AND THERE'S NO NEED TO RUB IT IN! SO IF THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GONNA DO, YOU MAY AS WELL RETURN TO YOUR OWN ROOM BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU HERE TO SAY THAT!"

Ed then moved off the bed and fell straight to the floor. He then dragged himself over to the corner of the room and pulled his leg up to his chest, his bruised back to Roy.

Roy got out of the bed and over to Ed whose shoulders were shaking by now. He put a hand on Ed's shoulder, earning another flinch. Roy crouched down next to him and gently lifted him up, carrying him back to the bed. Roy sat down with Ed on his lap and hugged him tightly. "Listen, Edward, I don't think that you're weak and I don't believe that there's any point in not being scared here. I'm scared as hell myself, so I'd be a bit disappointed if you weren't too."

"I just wanna go home, but there's not even a home to return to anymore. I don't wanna be stuck here anymore. I just wanna be safe together with Al. I don't want anymore pain. No more fear. I don't wanna be here! I don't wanna be trapped here anymore! Al needs me!" Ed was clutching at Roy's undershirt, desperate and scared tears soaking through the fabric.

"I understand, Ed, I don't want to be here anymore either."

* * *

The room was bathed in moonlight and Ed was sleeping on Roy's lap after a long period of comforting and urging for the boy to get some rest. Whatever the day would be bringing, Ed needed as much rest as he could get. But now Roy was afraid of lying down because of the imminent threat of himself falling asleep. He couldn't leave Ed defenceless. Which meant that Roy would be sitting here in a silent vigil.

The door opened, only to reveal Melanie fully dressed and smiling.

"You said tomorrow," Roy growled, holding Ed tighter to him.

"It is. It's past twelve." Melanie grinned catlike, her eyes glinting maliciously.

"Why are you here?" Roy was cursing inwardly.

"I'm here to lead you to your new home."

She grinned and moved forwards, suddenly holding out a couple of bands of some kind. "And as the dogs you are, I thought it was only fitting." She held the bands out, the moonlight falling on them and Roy felt his stomach twist in anger and embarrassment. She was holding out a couple of collars. A blue one for Roy and a red one for Ed. She stopped in front of Roy and opened the blue one, fastening it around his neck. Roy had never been so pissed off with anyone ever in his life. She then did the same with Ed. She turned it around so that the metal tag shaped like a bone was hanging just above the middle of his collarbone. She then adjusted Roy's too, smiling at him.

"And if you're wondering what the tags say, Roy, it's "Flame" and "Fullmetal." Not too creative, I know, but I figured that your doggy names fitted the circumstances best. Now, if you'd come with me, we're going to leave this room now."

Roy knew that if he protested, she would only hurt Ed, and so he lifted him up and began carrying him in the direction that Melanie pointed. Ed shifted and slowly opened his eyes, probably awakened by the sudden pain. "Colonel? What's going on?"

"Apparently Melanie is moving us to "our new home", whatever that means."

Ed eyed the collar around Roy's neck and then touched his own. "What the hell? That sick freak!"

Melanie moved swiftly, spinning around and then punching Ed hard in the gut, making him yell out. She stood straight before Ed, looking down at him, her face only filled with hate and none of the usual playfulness. "Let me give you some advice, you filthy mutt, never, ever call me _freak_. Understood?"

Ed groaned slightly and Melanie whipped around again and continued walking.

"Ed, are you okay?" Roy whispered.

"Yeah. Sheesh, she's got some hard punches," Ed wheezed.

They went downstairs and through the house until they came to a set of double glass doors leading out into a large garden.

Well, it was supposed to be a garden, but in reality it looked more like a park. There were topiaries and a fountain, a little playground, a lot of benches and more hedges than necessary, all lit up by a series of small lampposts. What caught Roy's attention as they walked outside, however, was the fact that in the middle of the garden was a gigantic dog cage. It had to be at least three-by-three metres and there was a lamp hanging from the top, lighting it. Blankets were strewn about at the bottom, probably just to make sure that they didn't freeze to death during the night. What really brought it home to Roy how twisted these people were, was the fact that Gregor was standing there, filling a giant water bowl with water from a garden hose. He was grinning at them.

These people had gone to a lot of trouble for this. The cage and the water bowl were obviously specially made for the situation, which meant that these people had been planning this for a long time.

Ed was looking pale, his eyes wide. Roy just hugged him tighter.

Melanie opened the cage door, smiling playfully, gesturing for Roy to go inside. "Here you are, boys, your new home. Very fitting, isn't it?"

Roy hated being pushed around like this, but he had to in order to protect Ed, at least a bit. He walked inside and glared at Melanie. She smiled and nodded at Gregor, and the next second, Roy felt himself being drenched with cold water from the hose. Once the man was pleased that both him and Ed were covered and shivering, he turned off the water and walked outside the cage, taking the garden hose with him. Melanie then locked the door behind him with a chain and grinned at them.

There was no doubt about it. There was only one emotion those eyes held as she stood there watching them.

_Hate._


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

* * *

**Chapter ten**

Ed glared at Melanie. He was shivering, in pain, while being carried by the fucking Colonel, and he was stuck in a dog cage with a collar around his neck. Ed had to say that he didn't feel as scared as he had done earlier, not when he had a locked door between him and Melanie. Now he was just embarrassed as hell, and that pissed him off.

"How do you like your home, Edward? We had it specially made."

"You sadistic bitch."

"My, my, Edward, such filthy language. I may have to punish you for that later. For now, let me explain what is happening here. You two are now the town pets in a way. This garden is open to the public so that everyone can see just how filthy little mutts you are. Oh, but don't worry, if you see over there in the corner, there's a tube going into the ground for you to your business in. Now wasn't that nice of me?" She smiled.

Ed felt himself redden again. She was never going to let them out of here ever again. Ed would have to live inside a cage together with the Colonel while being treated like a dog as well as receiving daily torture probably for the rest of his life.

"But aren't there people who don't want this? Who will fight against you?"

"Sadly, yes. They're not visionary enough. They are limited by their views of what's wrong and what's right. But they are few in numbers in this town because of what happened in Ishbal. Besides, we've already arrested the potential whistle-blowers. People either love what we are doing, or they're too scared to oppose it, and so they will slowly learn that it is all right. You won't win. You're going to live here, Edward, until the day you die."

Ed felt the strong arms holding him squeeze him slightly, whether in anger or to give comfort, Ed didn't know. He didn't care. Either meant that the Colonel wasn't going to let that happen. The joke would be on her in the end.

"Now, we're going to do something that I have personally been looking forward to for weeks. I'll be back shortly. Gregor, would you please prepare them? It's cat time."

"Of course, Miss Melanie."

Ed didn't like Gregor's grin at all. The man unlocked the cage and moved to lift Ed out of Mustang's arms. The grip tightened, which only resulted in Gregor grabbing Ed around the middle and pulled him towards him. Ed grunted at the manhandling he was being subjected to before Gregor carried him under his arm and dropped him to the ground painfully. Ed's ribs were on fire. As was the stab wound in his stomach. He then pulled Ed's arm out, making his wrist scream in protest, adding to the symphony of pain his body was going through at the moment. Ed watched as Gregor tied his arm to the metal bars in front of him, pulling him up into a painful kneeling position as he only had one knee.

Ed turned his head around to watch as Mustang had his undershirt pulled over his head and Ed knew what was coming even though he didn't like it. Ed was about to find out what being whipped felt like. He felt a pool of dread form in his stomach and sickness spread inside his chest. Mustang was dragged over and pushed to his knees beside him before his wrists were tied up a lot looser than what Ed's arm had been and he immediately knew their plan. "Colonel, when you get loose, you're not shielding me, understood? These bastards are probably going to whip you twice as much for that, so don't you dare."

Mustang just grinned bravely as he began fidgeting to get his wrists untied. "Sorry, Ed, not happening. I heard her, it's "cat time". I'm not going to leave you to be exposed to that damn thing more than necessary."

"What do you mean?"

"The cat o' nine tails, and I have a feeling that Melanie isn't one for actually knowing how to use it. She's probably going to break the skin as soon as possible and it will hurt like hell. You haven't been there to see any military floggings, but trust me, they're hell. You've been through more than enough already."

"Colonel, don't you dare!" Ed said as he watched the older alchemist continuing to work on getting his wrists free.

"Listen, Edward, I'm not going to watch you be in any more pain than you already are, not when I can finally do something about it." A blood drop ran down his wrist. Then another. He looked slightly mad as he worked. "For once I'm actually going to save you."

Ed hated this, he was locked in place, unable to move away while knowing that Mustang was going to take twice as much pain just for shielding Ed. And he couldn't do anything to stop that stupid heroic mindset.

Ed looked over his shoulder, only to find that Melanie had returned and was handing a whip to Gregor as she smiled broadly.

"Listen, Ed, it will be okay. Whatever you may say, whatever happens, you're not weak and you're not at fault," Mustang said. Ed watched as Gregor moved to stand a little to his side. "Don't look at Melanie. It will be alright, I'll get you out of this one."

Then came the first lash. It wasn't as bad as Ed had feared, so he managed to keep quiet, as did Mustang. The second one was worse, however. And the third even more so. The fourth one broke the skin on Mustang's back, which Ed guessed meant that he was bleeding himself. His back was screaming. His ribs were screaming. And it just kept coming.

Melanie was laughing, Gregor was grinning, Ed was in agony, his back was on fire and kept reaching another level of pain with each lash. He was trapped inside his own body and it was in so much pain now. Ed couldn't keep the yells away anymore. He didn't even know how Mustang was doing, he couldn't look at him because he was sure he'd break down again if he did. He just wanted to get out of this. He'd let his guard down around the Colonel before and now he couldn't build up that wall again, not when he was in so much pain. It may not be as bad as with that damned drug or with the automail, but DAMMIT it hurt!

Then suddenly Ed felt a pair of strong arms close around him and he could see a pair of familiar hands begin to work on untying his arm. The pain was still intense, but at least now Ed wasn't getting repeatedly struck, which meant that he could see the Colonel's clearly broken thumb in front of him.

And now that the pain wasn't intensifying, Ed could hear another thing. His own yells had been replaced by Mustang's.

The man was screaming in agony with each lash and Ed couldn't do anything to stop it. He couldn't stop the man from further hurting himself as he kept trying to get his broken thumb to loosen the knot keeping Ed in place.

Mustang must be in pure agony, yet his screams seemed to be getting weaker. They grew weaker and weaker and then he just slumped against Ed's back, making it shout out in pain again, but that was hardly important. Mustang had obviously just passed out, especially judging by the way he fell sideways onto the ground. Ed looked down at him. His entire chest was covered with Ed's blood and he had a pained expression on his face. Ed felt himself getting woozy and the pain wasn't bothering him too much anymore, so he had a feeling that blood loss probably wasn't so far off. He really just wanted to sleep. Sleep would give him a break from the pain. Maybe even from the fear.

"I guess you two have had enough. Shame," Melanie said. She moved over to Ed's side and swiftly cut him loose with her freaky nails. Ed fell sideways immediately. His body was just exhausted from the pain. His entire upper body was on fire.

He turned around slowly, gritting his teeth against the pain. Ed was only a few centimetres away from the Colonel's chest. Behind him stood Melanie, grinning. "Gregor is getting some bandages, Edward, don't worry, we won't let you die even though you might feel a bit dizzy. Roy got hit a lot more than you, though, so he'll need some more time. He was really anxious to stop you from getting hurt. So sweet of Daddy Roy, don't you think?"

Ed glared up at her. "You sadistic bitch. You forced him to!"

"I didn't force him, Edward. I just pushed his buttons a bit. He didn't have to get himself hurt that badly. But honestly, we both wanted to continue whipping, so it didn't matter that there was suddenly just one back to strike. It was his fault. Maybe even yours." She walked around the pair of them and bent down over Ed's left ear. "Maybe he wouldn't have broken his thumb if you hadn't been screaming that way. Maybe you were just being so weak that Daddy Roy felt that he needed to save you?"

"Go to hell," Ed sneered.

"Been there, done that, wasn't really my kind of thing. This, on the other hand…" She dug her nails into Ed's back, making the pain flare up again. Ed couldn't stop himself from yelling as she went all the way down his abused back. It was agony.

Ed felt himself getting dizzier and dizzier as he lay there, and he knew that the cuts must have been deep. Gregor began patching Mustang up while Melanie began bandaging Ed, lifting him up like a doll as she worked. Ed's eyes began to droop at some point even through the pain and the next thing he knew, he was lying there in full daylight, Mustang holding his right arm around him. Ed was pressed against his chest and judging by the steady rhythm of his heartbeats, the man was still sleeping deeply. Ed's back was aching like hell, as were his ribs.

They were alone inside the cage, but there were a lot of voices around them. Ed couldn't see anything from where he lay. Honestly, he didn't want to. Not when he was just lying here as a broken, naked, defenceless child.

"Look at him, that bastard. He cares about that child, but what about mine? What about my son?"

"They really look pathetic, don't they?"

"Yeah, just like the dogs they are."

Ed closed his eyes, trying to pretend that he couldn't hear them. He just hoped that Mustang would wake up soon so that Ed could yell at him for being so stupid in the first place.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, just to address a few issues: first of all, I'm sorry if there has been any confusion, but I have never intended for Ed's ribs to really be broken, they are merely cracked and severely bruised, which can easily be misdiagnosed as broken. And I know that I have really pushed Ed and Roy to the limit with the last chapter, which has been my intention for quite a while now, because they have been leading up to this one just to show how much of a manipulative, sadistic bitch Melanie really is. This has basically been my plan for the last few weeks, I just didn't want to give any spoilers before the whipping. (Yes, I know, I may come off as sadistic, but I guess it's some sort of (only literary!) compensation for me otherwise being a sweet, animal-loving girl, which is why this fic still has a cuddly bunny by the name of Einstein as its pic.) So yeah, get ready to hate Melanie even more.**

* * *

**Chapter eleven**

Ed woke up to a funny noise and a strange glow surrounding him. He didn't know how long he had been out of it now, he had fallen asleep pretty quickly after he had noticed the townspeople talking. Ed suddenly recognised the strange light as some sort of alchemic reaction and froze. Alchemy didn't work here!

Ed felt odd. He felt sort of fixed. His body didn't hurt. He still felt weak and hungry, but nothing hurt anymore. The light around him subsided and Ed suddenly saw Gregor removing some strange sort of daggers around him. Ed sat up, only to have someone else put their hands on his shoulders. Ed froze, recognising the person breathing into his ear. "Hello, Edward. Are you feeling better?" Melanie asked him.

"What the hell is going on?!" Ed asked. He was creeped out by this.

"I guess I forgot to tell you, Edward. Gregor here used to have a half-Xingese wife that taught him quite a few useful things about alkahestry. You know, Xingese alchemy that specialises in the medical field. _Helpful _alchemy. Alchemy that _furthers _humanity. You haven't been wondering why you didn't get any infections these last few days? Me and Gregor have been sneaking into your room while you and Daddy Roy were asleep. We need you alive after all. We're going to give you some rest now, you two are no fun after blood loss after all. I just need to get rid of these first, they're hardly necessary now." She began unraveling the bandages around Ed's chest and stomach. Ed was creeped out to see that the bruises on his front were completely gone. And the stab wound. And the various cuts. Melanie then grabbed his wrist which definitely wasn't broken anymore and used her nails to cut through the cast easy as anything. "There you go, Edward, you're healed. You're just going to be a but tired for the next few days, so I guess that you're getting a break for a while. Well, except for the weather, but that's hardly my problem. You're just some filthy dogs, after all, _and cats don't like those._"

She stood up and Ed watched her leave just as Gregor stood up with the newly removed bandages from Mustang's back. He looked completely fine. He was lying on a patch of exposed dirt, a pentagram was drawn into it. Ed turned around and found the same pattern on the ground beneath himself. The cage door was closed and Ed dragged himself over to Mustang. He was lying on his back in only his boxers, asleep. The man had taken one hell of a beating, so Ed didn't blame him. He hadn't even thought about what Melanie had said, but he guessed she was right. Which meant that she was just going to beat them down, heal them and then beat them down again for as long as she wanted.

Ed really wanted Mustang to be awake. He had never heard of this alkahestry before, but it was certainly different from alchemy, which would probably explain why it worked. Ed still couldn't stop himself from trying out a simple transmutation circle as he drew it into the dirt.

Nothing happened when he tried activating it.

Which meant that Melanie was just teasing them even more by waving the alkahestry straight in their faces.

Damn her!

Ed suddenly had a feeling that he was being watched and he turned around, only to have his eyes fall upon a small Ishbalan girl, no older than eight or nine. She was holding the bars of the cage, looking at him curiously.

"Are you here to mock us, too?" Ed said sharply.

"Don't know. Should I?" she asked carefully.

"What do you mean?"

"Mum says you're bad, but you're just a bit older than me. How can you be bad already?"

"Trust me, I'm not. Melanie is the one hell-bent on torturing us."

"Mum says Miss Melanie warned us not to speak to you. That you'd try to convince us that you're good."

"So I guess it's up to you which one you believe. I'd say that the one who think it's okay to whip twelve-year-olds is the one who's wrong here."

The girl grew contemplative. "It sounds like it hurts."

"You think?"

"Why don't you have any clothes?"

"Because that fucking bitch is a sick woman that tries to make me even more ashamed."

_And it's working._

The girl flinched at Ed's phrasing. "Mum says that swears make Ishbala look down upon us."

"Sounds like your Mum makes up your mind for you."

"Doesn't your Mum?"

"Mom died when I was five, so she never got the chance." Ed really hoped that he'd be able to change this girl's opinion. Maybe it would be a start towards getting out of here.

"Oh. What about your Dad?"

"That bastard left when I was three, so he didn't even bother."

"Oh. Why are you a State Alchemist?"

"To make something right again."

"So you're not trying to kill us?"

"Nope. I grew up in Resembool, I saw what that war did. I would never want to do anything like that."

"Are you lying?"

"I'm not."

"Oh. I need to go." She ran off. Ed really hoped that he had managed to convince her. If he could convince these people one at a time, then maybe, just maybe, they had a way out of here.

Ed looked at Mustang. "Come on, now, bastard, we need to talk!"

The man just kept sleeping.

Ed sighed and dragged his way over to fetch a couple of blankets. He dragged them with him and was just happy to be able to actually move again before he threw them over Mustang. Ed then found his way under them himself and lay next to him, hugging him with his only arm for warmth. Ed would say that things had definitely taken a turn for the worse now that Melanie had the power to put them through hell just to heal them and then do it all over again.

* * *

Roy woke up slowly. He tried to remember where he was and felt his heart sink. He looked down at the sleeping boy that he was hugging tightly to his chest.

_Wait – why am I not in pain?_

The unbroken skin of Ed's back confused him even more. And Roy was quite sure that he broke his thumb trying to get free.

_What the hell is going on here?_

Roy scanned Ed with his eyes, he was devoid of bruises.

He hated to have to wake the boy, but he gently put his right hand on his cheek and stroked it. "Hey, Ed? Edward? You need to wake up."

It took some time, but Ed slowly opened his eyes after a while. "Colonel?"

"Do you know why we're suddenly healed? Are you in pain?"

"Gregor knows this Xingese alchemy calked alkahestry. It works here and it's apparently specialised in the medical field. They used it to heal us just so that they can begin again in a few days." Ed looked scared. Scared and disgusted.

Roy sighed and hugged Ed closer. At least they were catching a break, and Ed wasn't in pain anymore, which was the best piece of news he'd received these last few days.

"She's really just playing with us," Ed said. Suddenly Ed pushed Roy over on his back and hit him in the chest. "And you, you bastard, what the hell did you think you were pulling, shielding me like that?! You broke your fucking thumb getting loose!"

"Edward, I'm your Commanding Officer, I'm not going to watch them torture a child when I can finally do something about it!"

"You were just playing right into their hands! You're letting her manipulate you! You can't do that!"

"If it means keeping you safe, then fine! They can do whatever the hell they want with me, but for once I was able to take a hit for you! You don't deserve this!" Roy was getting angry. He was still tired and he didn't want to have this conversation.

"Well neither do you! You're being a selfish bastard for thinking that it is better for you to just leave me on my own here because you try to be noble!" Ed moved to hit him again, but Roy caught his fist, stopping him halfway. He sat up and instead pulled Ed in for a hug. Ed struggled against it. "You think it's fun listening to someone be in pain because they're being selfish enough to take it for you?!" Ed said, trying to wriggle loose. His injuries may be healed, but Ed was still missing two limbs and a lot smaller than Roy was, which meant that Roy was definitely the one winning here.

"Which is exactly how I feel every time they hurt you!"

"You manipulative bastard!"

Roy just held him tighter. He was going to have to be the grownup here and not fall to the kid's bait for him to fight him. "Maybe so, Ed. Maybe so."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter twelve**

"What's it now?" Ed asked from where he sat beside Roy, huddled under the blankets. They watched as the door to the mansion was opened and Melanie stepped out of the house with a strange man.

It had been a whole day since Ed had woken him up to tell him about the alkahestry . It was already dark outside. The last day, Roy had been leered at and had people pointing at them. None of them had taken a word he said seriously because of his reputation as the "Hero of Ishbal". None of them had listened to him when he told them that Ed was innocent and that they were condoning the fact that Melanie was torturing a twelve-year-old _child_. Nobody cared, because they were "just dogs" and that Ed was "going to go bad, because how morally broken must a child be to even join the military at that age?" They didn't like the fact that Ed was a State Alchemist at his age, apparently it was just a sign from Ishbala about how evil Ed must truly be. A few even believed that Ed must have made some deal with the devil. Roy had a cut on his cheek from shielding Ed as someone began throwing rocks at him.

The pair came closer to the cage. Melanie had linked her arm with the stranger. As they came closer, Roy could see that the man must be in his late sixties. He was fat and small and had a large beard and a bald head. He did not seem to like Roy and Ed.

"Hello, boys! I thought it was time you met my dear Daddy. He was the one who made all this possible."

_So this is the Mayor, huh?_

Roy instinctively moved in front of Ed to shield him as Melanie began to unlock the cage, making the blankets slide off himself and leaving him quite vulnerable. The Mayor laughed. "I see what you mean, Melanie, he certainly is protective of him. It really is the perfect way for this town to get some of the revenge it deserves." He strode inside the cage and looked down at Roy. "Well, Colonel Mustang, I am pleased to see that we scare you. Off course, kids do that to you. I know Edward isn't your son, I mean, you haven't even known him for two months! But still, he's in your charge, isn't he? You're his CO, aren't you? You feel _responsible _for him. That's not unlike parenthood, you know, especially when Edward is so young." He moved over to Ed and pulled the blankets off him, which caused the boy to instantly move his right leg in order to hide his private parts as the man looked him up and down before putting a hand upon his head. Ed looked like he was seriously contemplating to take whatever consequences he would get for hitting the man. "And a fine-looking boy. Shame about the limbs, though." The man leaned down so that he was face to face with Ed. "So, tell me, Ed, why would you join the military at your age?"

"None of your business," Ed sneered.

"Come on, now, Edward, be a good doggy to your new masters." The man spoke as if to a five-year-old.

Ed spat in his face.

The Mayor sighed and removed his hand from Ed's head as he brought out a handkerchief and wiped the spit away from his face. "Well, that decides that. Melanie, if you would?"

"Of course, Daddy." Melanie grinned and pulled out a syringe.

Roy moved instantly, throwing himself at the boy in order to protect him. "Don't you do a damned thing to him!"

"Roy, you should know full well by now that it doesn't matter what you want," Melanie said, grabbing his shoulders and throwing him against the side of the cage. Roy got the wind knocked out of him and could only watch as Melanie put her knee on Ed's back and held his arm still as she plunged the needle into it.

"You bitch!" Roy shouted as he got to his feet. "What the hell did you give him?!"

"Something meant to scare him a bit, that's all." She stood up and left the cage with her father as Roy kneeled down next to Ed just as he sat back up.

Roy heard the door lock behind him, but he didn't care as he grabbed Ed by the shoulders. "Ed, are you okay?"

"It wasn't bad enough just with her and Gregor? Now they have to bring in her father too?" Ed said, wiping dirt out of his face. "How are you? She threw you pretty hard."

"Probably just a few bruises tomorrow."

"Oh. And Colonel?"

"What, Ed?"

Ed hit him in the face. "**What the hell have I said about shielding me!**"

"I've already told you, Ed, I'll keep trying to protect you whenever I can," Roy said, holding a hand on his now aching left cheek.

"**Then you need to stop being so fucking heroic because it only gets you hurt and nothing good ever comes out of it!**"

Roy would be willing to argue the point, but right now he was just worried about Ed. It didn't seem to be the same nightmare concoction that Roy had been given because then Ed should be out of it by now. "Let's just get you warmed up," Roy said, grabbing a couple of extra blankets to sit on as well as the two they had thrown around themselves earlier. They sat down on top of them and Roy threw the others around their shoulders before he put his right arm around Ed's shoulder and pulled him closer.

"So now we just wait, huh?" Ed said. "Well, Colonel, you remember that medical test? Do you believe that needles are evil now?"

Roy sighed. "Ed, needles given by crazy torturers may be. Flu shots aren't."

"No. They're all the same and you can never be sure that they haven't been mixed up. Imagine if the next flu shot you get really contains that torture drug? They look the same, after all."

"Edward, tell me why there would be a torture drug in the infirmary at HQ."

"To cause an uproar! It would be a brilliant way to start killing officers!"

Roy sighed again.

Ed looked up at him suddenly. "There's no need to raise your voice."

"Ed, I didn't say anything." Roy was getting worried. It seemed that the drug was taking effect.

"You didn't? That's not good is it?"

Roy looked into those golden orbs, they shone of fear.

Ed laughed shakily. "Seems like it's time to find out just what it was she gave me then."

Roy hugged Ed and Ed grabbed onto his arm, breathing faster.

"I guess you didn't hear that."

"No, what was it?" Roy was going to have to try to keep Ed calm through whatever would be happening to him.

"Sounded like that _thing_ from the transmutation," Ed whispered.

_Okay, this could end really badly for Ed._

"Just breathe slowly, Ed. Remember, it's not real."

He did as he was told, taking deep, hopefully calming breaths. "Al? What are you doing here?" Ed asked, looking straight ahead at nothing.

* * *

"Ed, he's not real," the Colonel said.

"Or maybe he's the one that isn't real?" Al suggested, his voice echoing slightly from inside the suit of armour.

"N-no. You're fake, Al. You don't talk like that."

"That's just because I haven't picked up the courage yet to tell you that I hate you."

"Stop it. You're not real."

"Ed, listen to me. Don't talk to it, it's not there, it's the drug," the Colonel said, moving Ed so that he was pressed against his chest, unable to see his fake little brother. Ed hugged his arm around him. He needed to hold onto the one real thing here. Because the Colonel was real. Ed remembered too many days for this not to be real. The Colonel put his hand behind Ed's head.

_Okay, Ed, hold onto this. This is real. This man will protect you and whatever you may hear, it's not real._

"Or so you think," Al's voice said. "I wasn't done talking to you, Brother."

_He's not there. Nottherenottherenotthere._

"I wanted to tell you how much I hate you. How much you destroyed my life."

_Nottherenottherenotthere._

"How you have been destroying my life ever since you first picked up that alchemy book."

"Edward, listen, whatever you're hearing isn't real."

"Or so you want to believe," Al said. "You just don't want to hear that you doomed me to a living hell and that I blame you for every second of it. That I don't think I have ever loved you. That I hate you for what you did to me."

"I'm sorry, Al. I never meant to do it. I'm gonna make things right. I swear."

"How? By letting yourself get captured and locked in a cage for the rest of your life? By clinging to the man who killed you? How can you even trust him to keep you safe so that you can keep your promise?"

"He's right, you know," Mustang said.

Ed froze. "N-no."

"I killed you. I put my hands around your throat and squeezed until you weren't breathing anymore. And you know what, Edward?"

Ed shook his head. The warm arms around him were suddenly cold. Dangerous.

"I liked it. I enjoyed every second of squeezing the life out of you. You are a worthless little shit and you don't deserve to live. It was Melanie who brought you back to life after all, not me. If it was my choice, I would just have left you for dead. I only brought you into the military as a tool, but you're just such a whiny, stupid kid, I wish I had never met you. You screw up everything and now I have to protect you as well? I'm supposed to be stuck here in a cage for the rest of my life together with _you_? Why do you think I punched the living daylights out of you the moment I got an excuse to do it?"

"NO!"

"How about I do it again?"

* * *

Roy suddenly had a fist connecting with his face, making him drop Edward. Ed immediately used the opportunity to get away and dragged himself over to the furthest corner of the cage. He was staring at Roy with fright in his eyes, looking like a trapped animal.

"Don't come near me!" Ed cried.

"Edward! I'm not going to hurt you!"

"You just said you would! Just like when you killed me!"

"Ed, I didn't, I swear." Roy needed to calm Ed down. He would be damned if he let Ed suffer on his own.

"P-please! Get away from me!"

"Edward, I haven't moved."

Ed wasn't looking at Roy anymore. He began kicking and shouting and pleading with an invisible Roy Mustang.

Roy suddenly realised just how terrifying the incident that had brought this on had been for Ed. And Roy didn't blame him. To be killed by someone who you trusted to keep you safe while you're unable to move away, Roy couldn't even begin to imagine how frightened Ed must have been.

And judging by what Ed was saying, he was seeing a Roy Mustang that actually wanted to hurt him.

To kill him.

And god, did it hurt to see Ed so frightened of him.

"Edward, listen, that isn't me you're seeing. I would never wish to hurt you. I swear."

Ed didn't even seem to be hearing him.

"Please! You said you'd protect me! That you didn't mean it! PLEASE!"

Roy didn't care anymore that any sort of movement on his side would trigger fear of an impending attack. The frightened scream that had just escaped from the boy as he pleaded for his life was absolutely heartbreaking. He moved forwards and grabbed Ed's leg as he kicked out at him. "NO! DON'T! PLEASE! I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT!"

Roy lifted Ed up into his arms, holding his remaining leg and arm in place as he moved him to sit on his lap. Ed was crying, scared out of his wits. "PLEASE!" It was obvious to Roy that whatever he would say, Ed didn't hear anymore. The boy was trapped in his own fear and hallucinations and was something far different from what Roy knew Edward Elric to be. Whatever that drug was doing to Ed, it was taking whatever fears Ed had and magnifying them drastically.

And knowing that Roy's actions just a few days ago brought this on, made him want to throw up. The fact that he was scaring his twelve-year-old subordinate this way was absolutely horrible. Ed was staring up at him, although he wasn't seeing him, his eyes were unfocused and terrified. He was screaming and pleading, doing everything he could as he tried to get away from Roy. But Roy kept a firm grip on him, holding him in place while hugging him tightly against his chest. Roy pressed his lips against the top of his head, trying to bring him some sort of comfort in this hell.

And so Roy spent the night listening to Ed screaming for him not to hurt him.

To kill him.

_Again._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter thirteen**

Roy didn't know what to do anymore. Ed had been screaming the whole night long, asking for his forgiveness, begging him not to hurt him. Roy had been forced to restrain him because of the imminent danger that Ed would otherwise hurt himself or Roy. Besides, in his terrified state, Ed didn't have a single instinct telling him to keep himself warm.

Roy had no idea what this would mean for the trust between them, all he knew was that Ed would have mental scars from being killed and hurt by Roy, especially when it seemed to be replaying itself time after time after time before those terrified golden eyes. Ed had gone into a fitful sleep about an hour ago. He kept moaning and crying, but he wasn't struggling against him anymore. He still seemed to want to get away however.

Roy just couldn't decide whether it would be a bad idea to wake him or not. Because what do you say to someone who have been hallucinating about you killing them for the last few hours straight?

Ed suddenly jerked awake, staring up at Roy. He seemed to be seeing him for the first time in what had been way too many hours. The boy instinctively moved to get away from him, but Roy held him tighter instead. He needed to convince him that he would never want to hurt him. Otherwise he would be breaking his promise not to leave Ed here alone. "Listen, Edward, whatever you have been seeing or hearing, it wasn't real. I would never wish to harm you."

Ed just looked up at him, seeming unsure. "Colonel?" he said weakly, sounding like he was afraid that Roy would shout at him.

Roy's heart nearly broke at that. That stubborn-headed little brat sounded _subdued_. He wasn't supposed to be obedient, Roy already knew that. But now Ed didn't sound like he had a single bone left in him telling him to rebel against Roy.

Roy just hugged him tightly to his chest, not knowing what else to do.

"I'm sorry," Ed said quietly and Roy felt tears on his chest.

"For what, Ed?" Roy was getting worried.

"For being such a screw up. Please don't hurt me for it any more. I never meant to be."

"Ed, you're not a screw up and I would never even think of hurting you."

"But you did. You hit me. Again and again and then you strangled me and I couldn't breathe. And you kept saying you'd do it and you wanted to and I'm sorry that I'm such a failure. Please, don't hurt me any more."

"Ed, take a look at yourself, I haven't touched you all night. You're unbruised. I haven't hurt you no matter what you've been seeing." Roy didn't know how else to convince him. Ed sounded completely broken.

Roy slowly loosened his grip on Ed as the boy began moving to have a look. He seemed surprised as he saw that his chest didn't have a single bruise. "But?" He looked up at Roy like a confused toddler. Roy could see why, realising that the things you have been tortured with for hours on end weren't real wasn't exactly easy to deal with immediately after waking up.

"You see, Ed?" Roy said kindly. "It was all Melanie and that drug."

"So you don't want me dead?" Ed said slowly, looking up at him, still frightened that whatever he said would set him off, or so Roy guessed.

"Of course not. Why would I? You're the only friendly face I have here."

"Oh."

Ed studied his face for a long time, his golden eyes locking themselves on Roy's black ones. He stared up at him for a few minutes, then suddenly tears began flowing down his cheeks, his lips trembled and he dug his face into Roy's chest and began sobbing loudly.

Roy felt his stomach twist itself apart at the sound of those sobs. There was a desperation in that voice that made him feel sick with guilt. This was Roy's fault. Ed would never have been here if he hadn't recruited him.

And this child in his arms had been reduced to a mere _plaything_ for Melanie to torture because of it.

Because Roy had no idea how they would be able to escape.

* * *

Ed didn't know what to do anymore. His instincts were screaming at him to get as far away as possible from Mustang, even if that was basically just two metres away. But the parts of him that weren't panicking were piecing things together. Because Ed believed Mustang. His eyes weren't lying. They were so desperate for Ed not to leave him. They weren't the hateful, black orbs that shone of malice that belonged to the man that had been shouting and punching and kicking him before killing him repeatedly all night.

They were just as scared as he was.

And so Ed just let himself go in relief and let every emotion from the past night express themselves as sobs because he was just so damned happy that it was over for now.

Which reminded him that they were both trapped in this hell.

And most importantly: if Ed let himself be scared of Mustang, then that psychotic bitch Melanie would get her way and there was no way in hell he'd let that happen.

And so he dried away his tears just before he felt a few cold drops of water on his back and then the rain was pouring down on them.

Which alerted him to one major fact.

"Thirsty," Ed mumbled, suddenly feeling just how parched his throat was. And so he started to get loose from Mustang who was letting go of him now that he wasn't trapped in his panic-stricken hell and was actually fully awake for the first time in what felt like hours. Ed had never been so happy that he was used to nightmares, but it helped him sort things out and calm his mind.

And so Ed dragged himself over to the overly large water bowl, feeling humiliated by it, but too thirsty to care as he practically slammed his mouth into the water and started drinking awkwardly, feeling a pair of warm hands hold his hair back and pull a blanket over him. Ed flinched slightly at the touch, but let it slide. The drug hadn't only made him hallucinate, it had kept him constantly terrified and made his adrenaline spike for hours and now that it was out of his system and more and more things were making sense, it was really just like waking from a really bad nightmare.

But it also made him damned tired.

And like all bad nightmares, he still had a tight knot of fear in his stomach making him unusually jumpy and on high alert.

Meaning that his body was still too afraid for him to actually go back to sleep.

...The mental pictures were still there after all.

Ed kept drinking for a long time, relishing the water on his sore throat from all the panicked shouting.

"Melanie," Mustang suddenly said, placing his free hand on Ed's right automail port.

Ed stopped drinking and sat back down, Mustang putting the blanket tightly around him. Ed eyed the wretched woman as she came over to the cage, smiling as she always did. She was wearing a black coat and boots this time because of the weather. "Good morning, boys! Did you have a fun night?"

Ed scowled at her.

"Oh, come on now, Edward, it was just to teach you to show my father some manners," Melanie said, unlocking the cage. Mustang moved to sit in front of Ed, which meant that Melanie kneeled down behind Ed and pulled the blanket off him before placing her hands around his waist and pulling him closer to her. Ed hated her so intensely. She made his skin crawl. Mustang was obviously ready to pounce on her should she do anything. Ed had instinctively pulled his right leg to him to cover himself up a bit. She placed her chin on Ed's left shoulder and whispered into his ear. "Look at that anger, Edward. Do you really feel safe around this man? A man that could kill so easily. He even killed you just by mistake. You can't trust him, Edward."

"Shut your mouth," Ed snapped at her. "You're not gonna be able to change my mind about him and that's final!" Ed had little patience with her after the hell she had put him through tonight.

"We'll see about that, Edward…"

Ed suddenly saw something curious coming towards them. It was large and red and looked like a miniature house. "What the hell is that?!" Ed asked.

"Oh, Edward, _that _is my little gift to you doggies!" She smiled, hugging him tighter. "You see, there's going to be a bit of a storm the next four days, and lightning and metal cages and especially your metal ports aren't quite safe, so I'm giving you a nice little plastic house to stay in for safety. And Gregor is even going to come out with _eight_ woollen blankets that are all dry! Now wasn't that _nice_? And of course, you're getting a lot of food and you'll have plenty of water, so you two are going to get a little break for the next few days. See it as a little vacation!"

Ed was just about ready to kill her. Their "vacation" would consist of the bare minimum to survive while they'd be stuck in a fucking _playhouse?!_

There was a group of Ishbalans carrying the thing. It was only about a metre and a half in width and the same in length and height. Mustang still wasn't looking at it in case Melanie should try something. That was at least until the people carrying the playhouse came up to the cage and Gregor directed them through the door. "Well, Edward, it seems that you're in the way!" Melanie said cheerfully and next second, Ed was flying across the cage and then he crashed against the bars, biting his lip and knocking the wind out of him before he fell down onto the dirt a metre below him. Ed wheezed and some blood dripped out of the corner of his mouth where he lay on his side, watching Mustang running towards him.

The Colonel then crouched down in front of him, still facing Melanie, while blocking Ed's view and obviously shielding him while pushing Ed down by keeping his right hand on Ed's left shoulder. "You okay, Ed?"

"Yeah, just winded…" Ed wheezed.

Mustang kept holding him down for the next minute and Ed was getting a bit annoyed by it, but a part of him was afraid of making him angry.

_Knock it off, Ed! It was just the drug!_

Ed moved to get up, but froze as Melanie started speaking. "Well, boys, I'll see you in a few days, enjoy your vacation!" Then there was the clang of the cage door and the sound of the lock and then they were just left there in the rain.

Mustang turned around quickly and looked Ed over, finally letting him sit up. Ed wiped the blood away with his hand and the pouring rain quickly washed it off completely.

Mustang frowned and hugged Ed to him. "You're freezing."

Ed had constantly been ignoring the fact since he woke up, but now that it was out in the open, there was no denying it. His skin was red with cold and the parts touching the automail were so cold it hurt.

Mustang sighed heavily, pulling Ed closer while stroking his back. "I'm sorry she hurt you again. Now let's get you under a roof and hopefully get you warmed up. Melanie took all the old blankets."

Mustang let go and Ed dragged himself over to the playhouse, seeing that the door was closed by a U-shaped piece of wood that was obviously not a part of the original design, and had probably been added in order to keep them "safe" during the storm. Ed got inside, covered in dirt and water, but found a stack of woollen blankets inside and…

"THAT BITCH!" Ed exclaimed, seeing the enormous bag of dry food for dogs.


	14. Chapter 14

**Completely unrelated, I know, but I just have to say it: I GOT QUEEN-SOCKS AND THREE ADORABLE, FUNNY, _ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT_ GUINEA PIGS FOR MY BIRTHDAY THREE DAYS AGO!**

**And so we get on with the story...**

* * *

**Chapter fourteen**

Ed felt just about ready to murder someone or something, preferably Melanie. When she'd told him they'd have lots of food, she had been talking about _this._ She was going to have them living off of dog food for days. Ed's right knee slipped under him because of the mud on plastic and Ed fell with a "Sclatt". "DAMMIT!" he shouted, slamming his fist on the plastic, his slippery knee refusing to give him leverage and nor did his arm. Ed rolled over on his back and sat up, pulling his knee to him so that Mustang could awkwardly get inside the playhouse, which was made more difficult due to the fact that his shoulders were too broad for him to get in without him tilting sideways slightly. Mustang did manage it in the end, even if it couldn't exactly be said to be graceful. He eyed the dog food with distaste as he sat up. He then latched the door shut and they were left in near darkness as only a small amount of daylight was getting in through the cracks around the door.

Ed was shivering and covered in a layer of diluted mud and hugged his leg to him in a weak attempt at getting some more warmth into his body. Mustang had of course seen this and was already working on unfolding the blankets. "Just wait a minute, Ed, and then we'll get you warmed up." Mustang was shivering too as he worked. He placed two blankets on the floor and then took the rest of them and stacked them on top of each other, probably to pull them around them. "All right, come over here," he said as he sat down on the first two blankets. Ed dragged himself over to him, not that it was a significant amount distance while the older man crossed his legs and then gently lifted him up to sit on his lap before pulling the blankets around them. "Better?" Mustang asked as he hugged him to him and Ed rested his left cheek against his chest.

"A bit, yeah." Ed was still shivering, but as the blankets started to heat up from their bodies, it got better and better. And he couldn't deny that a warm hug felt good right now. The terror of the drug still hadn't left his body so the strong arms around him helped him feel safer. "Still pretty embarrassing, though." Ed still felt a bit uncomfortable about how much of a child Melanie was making him regress into. But he knew that if he was going to survive this so that he could get back to his little brother, then he would have to accept Mustang's help.

"Edward, there's no reason to be embarrassed about not dying of hypothermia…" Mustang sighed.

That was when a sharp pain in the stump of his right arm made him grunt and he gripped it with his left hand, instantly regretting it because of Mustang's cry of "Edward! What's wrong?!"

"Take it easy, Colonel! It's just my stumps, they're aching from the weather, that's all…" Ed really didn't feel like worrying him more than necessary. And it was only to be expected with the way the rain was pouring down on the plastic roof above their heads.

Mustang sighed and moved his hands to the stump of Ed's left leg and silently began massaging the area around the port, relieving him of some of the pain. To say that Ed was surprised was an understatement. Especially as it seemed that Mustang actually knew what he was doing. "Where did you learn that?" Ed asked.

"There was a guy in my class at the academy that had an automail leg. Figured that it was probably going to be useful at some point to know what to do when the weather made the stump ache, whether it would be for someone I knew or if I should end up in the same situation myself, so I paid some attention. You just work on your shoulder as we don't need to make this even more miserable than it already is."

Ed was still pretty surprised, but began massaging the area around the shoulder port, gently lessening the pain. "Uh … Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

* * *

"Hey, Alphonse, a Miss Winry Rockbell is on the phone for you," Mister Hughes said, peeking his head out from the inner office.

Al froze. "W-Winry?" he stammered.

Mister Hughes looked at him with a frown. "That's the girl that you grew up with in Resembool, wasn't it?"

"Yes, sir."

The man sighed. "You might as well tell her then. Just don't give away any information about our leads, even if they are fairly non-existent."

"Okay, sir."

Al walked past him, but Mister Hughes stopped him by putting a hand on his arm. "Listen, Alphonse, we are going to find them. I promise."

"Thank you, Mister Hughes."

Al walked over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?"

"What are you two up to now, Alphonse?! Does Ed honestly think I won't shout at him if he just sends his ruined automail by mail?! What has he done to them anyway?! They're all stained with blood and they've been removed by someone who clearly doesn't even know what they're doing!"

"Wh-what?! You got his automail?!" Al was shocked. "When?!"

"So you weren't the ones who sent it?" Winry asked, confusion evident in her voice.

"No, it wasn't! Don't do anything to them, Winry! Just hold on a second!"

"WAIT, ALPH —" Winry shouted into the phone, but Al had put it down and was running for the office door, slamming it open and shouting into the room. "MISTER HUGHES! WINRY HAS HIS AUTOMAIL!"

* * *

Maes looked at the distraught suit of armour and then the message sunk in. Next second he was running for the phone and snatched it up. "Miss Rockbell? This is Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, please tell me everything about Ed's limbs!" Maes spoke with an unusual amount of urgency, but the thought of finally getting a lead on the kidnapping and plausible torture of his best friend and a twelve-year-old made his usual calmness disappear.

"What? What's going on here?! What's happened to Edward?!" the girl said, her voice terrified and angry.

"I will tell you, but first, I need to know whether you've done anything to his limbs?"

"No, I opened the mail three minutes ago and saw what he had done with it and so I ran to the phone."

"Good, leave it untouched, we'll send a couple of officers to fetch them, hold on for a second, Miss." Maes covered the mouthpiece and turned to Alphonse. "Tell Hawkeye to send two officers to the Rockbells's address to pick up the limbs."

"Yes, sir." And so the boy was clanking out of the office, just as urgently as Maes had been when getting inside.

Maes removed his hand from the mouthpiece and spoke, trying to keep himself calm and collected. "Miss Rockbell, nine days ago, Edward and Colonel Mustang went missing after their train was attacked."

There was a sharp intake of breath. "They were?! Do you have any leads?! Do you know how they're doing?!"

"It seems that they were kidnapped and that one or both of them were injured. We don't know who it was that did it or where they are, but evidence suggests that they are still alive."

There was silence and the shaky breaths of someone crying silently. "…So you think they're being tortured?" the girl whispered finally.

"We don't know. But we are doing everything we can to find them. If you could answer a few questions, it would help us a lot."

"I don't know much… They were just in a cardboard box addressed to Rockbell Automail, the limbs damaged and blood stained. Nothing else."

"Still, it's a lead. Thank you, Miss Rockbell. If there is something you could say about the state of the automail and what could have done that particular damage as a professional?"

The girl cleared her throat.

The next ten minutes were spent writing shorthand to keep up with the clearly knowledgeable girl.


	15. Chapter 15

**Yay! It has been raining today so my head isn't stuffed with pollen! I would therefore like to give a general warning: If I update twice within 24 hours, the second update won't show and won't say that it has been updated, even if the chapter is out. Therefore, it would be a good idea to check the info on the number of chapters and/or word count, as they get updated about 30 minutes after the second chapter. Those that follow the story should be getting the normal alert on their emails, though.**

* * *

**Chapter fifteen **

"Edward, you need to eat." Roy was sitting next to the bag of dog food and had already forced himself to swallow a mouthful of that disgusting stuff. But the problem still remained: they **had to** eat. It had been days since the last time and Ed was getting weaker.

Roy knew that they'd have been doing a lot worse if it wasn't for the fact that Roy had discovered a few red spots on his right foot which had now become bruised, suggesting that Melanie hadn't only been healing them, she'd been injecting them with nutrients as well while they were out, even if was less than the necessary amount.

With the storm, however, she clearly hadn't cared to do so, meaning that hunger, fatigue and cold were closely related right now.

And Ed was shivering and sleepy and he clearly needed sustenance. His body was deteriorating about twice the speed that it should and Roy was worried as hell for the kid.

"No way in hell… I won't do what that bitch tells me too," Ed mumbled grumpily. He'd been doing that for two days and Roy was getting tense and edgy.

Roy sighed, grabbed a fistful of the damned stuff and pulled Ed against his chest and forced it into his mouth as Ed yelled out at the rough treatment. And Ed was kicking his legs and squirming and his eyes were panicking and Roy suddenly realised that Ed wasn't fighting being fed.

He was fighting Roy because it reminded him of the time he had killed him.

Roy slackened his grip, shushing Ed, knowing that if he let him go now, there was a possibility that Ed would starve himself to death in order not to come near Roy. "Ed, take it easy, I'm only making you eat this damned food, nothing more."

Ed was screaming into Roy's hand to the best of his ability and Roy could feel tears stream down onto his hand.

That was it for Roy's determination. He removed his hand from Ed's mouth and Ed spat the food out and moved frantically to get away, but Roy just turned him around and held him tight. "NO! STOP!" Ed yelled, struggling against him.

Roy just hugged him, cursing himself for what he'd done. He pressed his lips to Ed's forehead, causing the boy to thankfully cease his struggles. "Ed, I'm sorry. I won't hurt you, I swear… I just … I didn't think. I just need you to eat. Just _please_ eat."

Ed kept working on catching his breath and then he sagged against Roy, leaning his head against his chest and turned so that his forehead could rest against him as he weakly started beating his fist against Roy's chest. "Dammit…" Ed said, his voice sounding strangled by tears and it came out lighter than usual. "I'm sorry, Colonel … I wasn't thinking either … It's just, after that damned drug …"

Roy started stroking his back soothingly. "Ed, don't worry about it. I made the mistake here."

"Don't … It's just … I-I'll eat."

Roy was getting worried about Ed's tendency to be unusually submissive ever since that drug. He didn't fight Roy as much and he hadn't been teasing him like he used to just a few days ago.

No, something had changed.

"Colonel?" Ed said, his forehead still pressed against his chest. "I'm sorry … I-I shouldn't let this get to me this way … It's just … It's so _dark _in here … I-It messes with me … Wh-what if we can't get out?"

"Edward, we will get out, please believe me. They'll find us. You just need to keep yourself alive long enough for them to do so."

Ed nodded against his chest and Roy readjusted the blankets around them. Ed slowly put his hand inside the bag and brought it up to his mouth and began chewing. And then he grabbed another fistful and ate that too. Two more and then he went over to the water bowl that Roy had decided to just bring inside that morning in order to make the only times they had to go out into the storm when they had to use that damned toilet tube in the ground outside. It helped them keep warm at least.

And hydrated.

Roy was on his knees beside Ed and pulled back his hair as he drank. When Ed was done, Roy ate a couple more fistfuls of that disgusting excuse for food and then he drank himself. Seeing that the bowl was less than half full, Roy unlatched the door, threw out the remainders of water and set the bowl outside in the rain to fill up again. It was stupid that his brain actually considered the light outside to be relatively bright. The wind was howling and the cold rain bit into his arms and Roy swiftly ducked back inside, latching the door again, surrounding them in semi-darkness once more.

Roy sat back down on the blankets and Ed paused. Roy had a feeling that Ed wanted to sit on Roy's lap again, not for warmth, but for the sake of being hugged, but he didn't want to ask. So Roy simply lifted him onto his lap and Ed pulled up his knee to fit better. Roy pulled the blankets back around them and Ed leaned more into the embrace than he had done before.

No, that drug had done more to Ed than the boy liked to admit. And he clung to Roy like the scared child that he was.

Not that Roy was doing much better. He was getting desperate for some release from this hellhole. His mind was giving in to fear about the future and about what hell Melanie was going to put Ed through once the storm let up.

…Because Ed was right … Being stuck inside this semi-dark little, **cold** box that always … **_always_** … seemed to have rain and hail **pounding** against it, making Roy so desperate for silence … was making him edgy as hell.

… And while Ed thankfully managed to get some sleep, Roy hardly got any and it was always so light that it felt like he didn't get any sleep at all.

… Which meant that he had hardly slept for the last three nights and when he gave in to sleep, Melanie was always there, ready to torture his boy.

…Because Ed was his right now. He didn't belong to Melanie and he wasn't there just to be some sick sort of entertainment.

Ed belonged to him and Roy was going to take care of him … Because if not …

… If not.

_Then I don't have something to keep me warm too._

"Hey, Colonel? Can I ask you something?" Ed asked quietly from where his left cheek was pressed against Roy's chest.

"Of course, Edward."

"Why did you stop calling me Fullmetal?"

Roy took a deep breath. "Because it didn't feel right to use that damned title that landed you in here. You shouldn't be here and you don't deserve this. You are a child and it's my duty to protect you."

"Oh … Then can I call you Roy?" Ed asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Ed, I **do** deserve this … This is my fault and if there's someone who deserves to be looked down upon by these people, it's me." Roy felt a tinge of panic at the thought of that familiarity. "I'm you CO and I got you stuck in this hellhole."

"Doesn't matter … You're not acting like my boss anyway."

"Edward … If you knew just a fraction of what I've done … You don't want to get close to me."

"I won't call you Colonel anymore if it means that I'm letting you think that you deserve it."

"Edward … That's not it …"

"It's not fair if you get to call me by my first name if I can't do the same to you…" Ed mumbled.

"Ed …"

"It's Roy, and that's final."

Roy could feel the tension in the small body against his chest and he knew that Ed was slightly scared at opposing him this strongly.

Which meant that Roy wasn't going to fight him.

He sighed. "Fine, kid." Then, in order to reassure him that Roy wasn't angry with him, he bent his neck and pressed his lips against the top of his head while holding him even closer and hoping with all his being that they would be found soon.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter sixteen**

Maes was getting annoyed… It was a wonder that the automail had reached the Rockbells at all, judging by the complete lack of structure and competence at the East City postal service.

…Most importantly, the section that was in charge of delivery to three smaller areas, including Resembool.

If there was **one** sign that someone should retire, it was when the postal worker that had written down what office the package had been delivered from, had managed to misplace the journal with the records in them and had therefore taken to write them down on unused napkins for the past six years. The man had then decided to "file" said napkins by an unknown system that not even he understood, but it mostly consisted of tucking them away in open slots and sometimes forgetting his glasses and ending up blowing his nose in them.

And his office was a _mess._

Those bloody napkins were everywhere and the man had decided to write them down in code as well, believing it to keep his customers safety his top priority.

Which meant that they had now wasted four days _sorting napkins_.

…Only to find out that the postal office that had sent the package was currently closed because of the damned storm that was plaguing half the country.

And so Maes was sitting on a train headed for a small town near the Cretan border together with Lieutenant Hawkeye, Alphonse and Major Armstrong.

And so it had been two weeks since the train crash and they wouldn't be there until another week because of that storm.

_Just hold out a little longer, Roy, we __**will **__find you two._

* * *

"Rise and shine, my doggies!" Melanie called cheerfully as the latch of the door was opened and Roy was woken from a fitful sleep. The harsh and sudden sunlight made him squint, but his eyes snapped open as Melanie snatched Ed from his grip and pulled him out the door. "The storm's over!" She grinned as she lifted Ed into the air and held one hand under his thighs and the other over his chest like a dog, while Ed fought her strong grip.

He had thankfully regained some strength as he had been eating a lot of that damned dog food these last few days.

Melanie was practically teasing them because she was obviously perfectly warm in her bright red ski suit.

Roy, of course, was already standing up in the bright sunlight, having mastered the quick entering and exiting of the playhouse. He was glaring at Melanie as the cold bit into his skin and the ground beneath him was frozen, probably explaining the way that the ground had been covered with plastic and was strewn with blankets.

"Aah, look at that! You're all fine! And you've been eating well and everything! Such good doggies!"

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" Ed shouted, his hatred for Melanie clearly not having subsided this last week of cold, darkness, and the torrential pounding from the rain.

Melanie laughed and hugged Ed tighter. Roy felt like murdering her. Ed was pissed off, but Roy could see a slight tinge of fear in his eyes as well. "Why would I do that, my dear puppy? I've finally begun teaching you to behave like a proper doggy."

"Go to hell, you bitch!" Ed shouted, all his anger focused on the woman in front of him.

"Actually, Edward, I was figuring that it was your turn to do that…" Melanie grinned widely, making Roy's stomach twist.

"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!" Roy shouted, running forwards, only to have Gregor grab his neck and left shoulder and slam him against the cage, making him dazed just long enough for him to drag Roy up against the bars of the cage and start tying his left arm to the cage bars. Roy moved to push him off, still a bit winded and with barely any strength, earning him a hard punch to the stomach instead, making him wheeze and cough, his abdomen wreaked with pain and hardly more than a puppet for Gregor to tie up completely while Ed screamed for Roy and shouted curses at Melanie. The fact that Melanie didn't even try to stop him, but just stood laughing cheerfully made Roy's panic rise to the point where he felt like throwing up just at the thought of what she might do to the boy.

That laughter made his skin crawl. It was a patronising sound.

…Like she thought they were just a couple of foolish animals that didn't know any better.

And so she just stood there, holding Ed like an animal, laughing at their struggles as Roy's ankles were tied just as tightly as his arms to the bars as well, meaning that he couldn't get loose even if he tried.

After all, Gregor hadn't just tied his wrists to the bars, he had his upper arms to them as well.

Then Roy heard clanking and squeaking and turned to his right, only to freeze in horror at the sight of a fully dressed up surgeon approaching with a large number of instruments on a table with wheels. He turned his head sharply to his left to look at Melanie who was grinning even broader than before. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO HIM?!" Roy demanded, feeling like he couldn't breathe for the lump in his stomach.

Melanie laughed sweetly again and hoisted Ed up slightly so that he was placed more securely in her arms. "I don't like my puppy to have those ugly automail ports… They're such a nuisance when I hug him and they're all cold and uncomfortable…"

Ed had gone just about as pale as Roy had. Roy's stomach was twisting itself apart. **"Don't you dare!"** Roy said shakily.

Melanie just laughed again as the surgeon came inside the cage, now followed by another Amestrian man, this one too dressed in surgeon's clothes, but also carrying a toolbox.

Roy began fighting against his bonds, knowing that it was futile, but it didn't matter. "YOU BASTARDS! HE'S **TWELVE DAMN IT!**" Roy screamed.

The mechanic decided to knee him in the groin in answer. "So was my daughter when you burned her!" he hissed.

Roy wheezed at him, glaring desperately at him. "Then please don't do this! He's innocent and he has a little brother waiting for him to come home! Do anything you want to to me! Burn me, cut me, torture me to insanity, but leave him alone!"

"Then that's an even better reason to do this … Maybe you'll feel just a fraction of the pain that I felt if there's any more humanity left in you!"

Then the mechanic kicked him hard in the groin again, making Roy yell out and wheeze as he tried to focus on his surroundings rather than the agony of that repeated kick.

Which was when he noticed the fact that Gregor was carrying a small tarpaulin and then rolled it out right in front of where Roy was tied up. It was about 1,8 by 1,8 metres.

Gregor then revealed a hammer and the mechanic took a box of large nails out of the toolbox and handed them to him, and Gregor began straightening out the tarpaulin before hammering it into the ground. Nobody made a sound, everyone was just watching the Ishbalan.

Everyone except Roy who was looking straight at Ed, not knowing what to say. What words of comfort had he to offer anyway?

The boy stared back at him, his eyes filled with fright as he was held tightly by Melanie.

Roy heard the nails being hammered into the frozen ground and then suddenly Ed's eyes opened wide as he shouted "ROY!"

Then Roy felt an agonising pain in his right thigh and he shouted out loudly. He looked down to see one of the blasted nails having been hammered straight into his right thigh, a trickle of blood running down from it and the pain multiplied rapidly.

Gregor grinned at him. "We're playing a private game, you and I, Flame … The more you keep still as we fix up your little brat, the less likely you'll be to shift it and bleed out…"

Roy grunted, his thigh was throbbing, but the fact that Ed was about to go through something infinitely worse made him keep his focus.

Especially as the surgeon picked up a scalpel from his table and walked over to Edward and Melanie held him tight against her chest as the surgeon trailed the scalpel slowly down Ed's left side, making him hiss with pain just as Gregor came up with a coffee mug with a smiley face on it and held it to Ed's skin right beneath the cut, making the blood flow straight into it. Once the mug was filled, the surgeon was handed a needle and thread and began stitching up the wound, making Ed whimper slightly as the needle penetrated his flesh repeatedly.

Roy noticed Gregor dip a small paintbrush into the blood and Roy suddenly understood the point of that whole display.

Blood was still oozing slightly from Ed's side and the surgeon put a large bandage over it while he was fucking _whistling_.

All too soon, Gregor was done drawing up the pentagram and Melanie was laying Ed down in the middle of it before pinning him down by straddling his waist and leaning down on his left shoulder and chest, making him unable to move anything other than his legs and head.

Ed was looking up at Roy, fright in his eyes as the mechanic knelt down next to his head and inserted a screwdriver into the screw fastened to his collarbone.

Then the bastard gave the screwdriver a sharp twist and Ed yelled out in pain, making Roy shout obscenities at the man. Ed strained against Melanie's hold, but she kept him down firmly, even if his fist was clenched.

Then the mechanic chuckled. "Oops … Wrong way, I guess. Better make sure, though, don't you think?"

Then he twisted the screw again and Ed shouted in pain as small droplets of blood started forming around the screw that was now pressed too far into his collarbone. If the bastard didn't quit now, he was going to break it. And he was taking his time doing it. He waited until Ed was back to only panting slightly before he chuckled. "Only messing with yah, kid… I know which way it goes." Then he started unscrewing it painfully slowly, making Ed yell out as the damned thing was removed from his body, blood dripping from it as the mechanic nonchalantly laid the screw down on the tarpaulin next to its owner.

Ed was looking up at Roy, his eyes filled with pain and fear and they both knew that this hell had just begun.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter seventeen

Roy threw up twice as he was forced to watch Ed go through all that agony. Gregor had thankfully held out a bucket for just such an eventuality, most likely just so that he wouldn't throw up all over that bitch.

Ed was hoarse from screaming for hours on end and he was breathing heavily when Melanie finally let go of his right leg and the remainder of his left thigh which was bleeding quite a bit, although they had been controlling the bleeding by using that damned alkahestry. Melanie licked the last screw clean of blood with a grin.

The surgeon removed the bandage at his side and made Ed whimper as the stitches were removed without much care, before the bastard left Ed lying there, bleeding, his face revealing the high level of pain that he was still in.

Gregor once again activated the pentagram under Ed, closing up his stump and his side completely, deleting the evidence of the unspeakable torture the child had been subjected to. Ed was lying there limply, panting, his cheeks stained with tears.

He was shivering a lot, though.

"Well, that was fun. Gregor, let's get Daddy Roy down and patch him up too, that nail's got his leg all messy," Melanie said cheerfully.

And so Gregor approached Roy with a knife, cutting through the ropes as Melanie simply rolled Ed off the tarpaulin before lifting him up, making Ed yelp with pain. They had healed up the skin, but they had been messing with the nerves for much too long and every single squeeze or added pressure on the stumps seemed to cause Ed severe amounts of pain.

"Just leave him alone!" Roy growled. He was hoarse himself from shouting at these bastards and he felt spent and his leg was throbbing because of that damned nail.

Gregor pushed Roy down on top of the tarp, making his thigh scream out in agony and Roy yelled out. Gregor didn't care and just pushed Roy over on his back before he yanked the nail out roughly, making him shout out again.

And that damned mechanic decided to "accidentally" step on his wound for good measure before Gregor activated the pentagram again and healed up his injury before pressing a knee against Roy's chest, pinning him down. Roy tried to keep his eyes on Ed to make sure that they left the kid alone. Melanie had simply carried him over to the other side of the cage and dropped him there. His back was facing Roy and he was lying on his left side, while Melanie crouched down and stroked his hair. "There's a good puppy," she said.

Then she squeezed the small remains of his right shoulder tightly and made him scream again and curl up further in his agony.

Roy was boiling with anger, but he knew that she'd only do it again if he shouted for her to stop.

She looked at Roy and grinned before letting go of Ed's shoulder. "The doggies are learning… Good." She turned to Gregor and nodded. "Well, boys, thank you for your help … I guess we'll leave our pets to rest for now, you can only play for so long before it becomes too much for them."

And so she stood up, leaning on Ed's stump, making him scream again. Gregor removed his knee from Roy's chest and dragged Roy off the tarp, only for Melanie to place herself on his lap and hug him tightly while playing with his hair, making him nauseous once again. She grinned at him. "I'm just making sure that you don't do anything stupid until we're done packing things up here. Besides, it's so much fun to see you squirm. To see the desperate need you have to get back to him and comfort him. And to watch your pain when you're not allowed to do so. Really, Roy, you're a laugh!" She began stroking his left cheek. "Your eyes have such amusing desperation in them! But you two are getting mightily cold, so I'll let you enjoy Ed's pain for yourselves until tomorrow morning!"

And so she kissed Roy's forehead and then left together with the three others.

Roy immediately went over to Ed's side and turned him gently over on his back to relieve the pressure from his left stump. Ed whimpered and the second he saw that Melanie and the others were gone, tears began streaming down his cheeks and his eyes were filled with pain and misery.

Roy dried the tears away gently with his thumbs and bent down and kissed the boy's forehead. "Ed, I'm so, so sorry." Roy could hear the boy's teeth chatter loudly. "I'm going to fetch the blankets and then we'll get ourselves warmed up again. I'll be right back."

Ed nodded slightly, his lips quivering and tears still streaming down his cheeks. He didn't move to get up.

Roy got up and started collecting blankets, including the ones from the playhouse, and laid them out on the ground, knowing that when night came, it would be better if they got back inside in order for the ground to not leech all the warmth from under them.

He didn't want to, though… That damn plastic thing had become a box of misery and dark thoughts.

Ed was still breathing heavily where he lay and Roy couldn't even imagine how much pain he was still in. That damned mechanic and the surgeon had spent a lot of time just messing with Ed's nerves just for the hell of it.

And Ed didn't scream easily, but that had left him **shrieking**, making him throw up from pain six different times during the procedure. They had prodded and poked and pulled and twisted the nerves, making Ed scream in a way that made Roy's eyes burn just thinking about it.

And Roy had kept praying to gods he didn't believe in for the kid to just pass out, get a break … just **something **that would release Ed from the agony that was far worse than hell.

But Ed hadn't.

He had been conscious for the whole thing.

And Roy had never felt so useless in his life when he was forced to just stand there and watch as they tortured Ed like that, the boy only half a metre away from his feet.

…And with the threat of them hurting Ed even more if he dared to avert his gaze from Ed hanging over his head.

Once he had got the blankets the way he wanted, he pulled most of them over his shoulders as he sat down on the rest. Then he grabbed Ed around the middle and pulled him onto his lap so that Ed's back was against Roy's chest. He hoped that this solution would mean that Ed's stumps would be submitted to a smaller amount of contact-induced pain.

"N-no," Ed whispered weakly through exhausted tears and began sluggishly trying to turn himself ninety degrees left by using his right leg. Roy gently turned him around. He would indulge just about anything the boy asked for after what he'd been through.

Ed leaned his head sideways against Roy's chest and Roy helped him lift his right leg so that it too could lean against him. He then pulled the blankets around them and hugged his left arm around Ed's waist and his right was placed protectively on the back of his head.

And then came the wheezing sobs of someone crying silently.

Roy kissed the top of his head, feeling tears pressing against his own eyes. "It's okay, Ed. It's over."

"S'not."

Roy sighed, knowing that they were still facing more torture than he'd like to admit. "Just give them some more time, Ed, they'll find us."

"But now Al's gonna have to wait even longer!" Ed sobbed desperately, his voice weak and sounding a lot younger than usual. "I'm gonna have to go through the surgery all over again!"

Roy closed his eyes, inwardly cursing himself for not having thought about that. It was the only reason that Ed had joined up in the first place and now it had to be postponed because Ed was going to have to go through that damned surgery all over again.

…And that was if they even made it out of this at all.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter eighteen**

Edward woke up because of the way his mind was screaming at him that he was in danger.

Because of Melanie's smell.

Just as he opened his eyes, he found himself face to face with Melanie. He started, noticing that even though his stumps were throbbing painfully, the areas where they had been pulling and messing with his nerves were mostly just numb.

He guessed it was a blessing of sorts as long as it wasn't permanent.

"So how is my puppy doing today? Are we a bit sore from training?"

Oh, how he wanted to hit her! To just beat her to a bloody pulp! After what she had put him through yesterday. After what she hadn't just done to him, but to his little brother! To Roy!

And so he spat into her face.

He knew it wasn't a good idea, he knew he'd pay for it.

But damn it if he didn't care. He was sick of this! He was tired and cold and in pain and he had been stuck here for over two weeks now!

"Go to hell!" Ed hissed. He wasn't going to let her break him! He had already been screaming and crying a lot more than he'd ever like to admit. He wasn't going to give in to her.

And he was clinging onto that hatred. Hatred kept him going when his mind said to give up.

Melanie just licked his spit off her face. "So you're still not accepting your masters, Edward? That's a shame. I was hoping that we were getting somewhere… Maybe torturing Roy a bit more will help? How about an extra strong dose of that little drug you had so much fun with that night? The one that kept you screaming for hours because you thought Daddy Roy was trying to kill you again? Who knows what he'd do to you with that one coursing through his veins. I wonder what he'd be seeing… Maybe he'd strangle you all over again? I mean, it's so easy …"

Ed tried not to let his fear show at those words, but he really didn't want to watch Roy be on those drugs. Ed knew he had punched and kicked at Roy to keep him away…

…Both the one he'd been seeing and the real one.

…And he knew that the only reason that he hadn't managed to hurt him was that he was down two limbs and Roy was _even bigger_ than him.

With the tables turned, however, Ed didn't have much of a chance unless he managed to knock him out on the first try.

Then suddenly Melanie had clamped her hands around his neck and his mind was panicking because he couldn't breathe. "You see, Edward? Really easy…"

Ed began clawing at her hands with his remaining hand, his mind blurring the lines between the flashbacks and reality and his body wasn't getting enough air and he needed air and Melanie didn't look like she would let him go and the fire was burning in his chest! His mouth moved without meaning to. "Roy!" he croaked, his vision blurring and he made a frantic last effort to scrape his nails across Roy's chest as he croaked out the name again and felt the arms around him shift.

"YOU BITCH! DON'T YOU DARE!" Roy shouted and then the hands around his neck released their grip and Ed was coughing weakly, his lungs filling with that delicious, wonderful air as he leaned forwards, the spots at the corners of his eyes fading as he took in that sweet gas. Roy and Melanie were talking, but Ed didn't care. His body was shaking and he just focused on breathing and coughing and wheezing and **air.**

Tears were streaming down his face and his chest hurt.

Then Ed was brought back to the present as he felt Roy tense and gasp as he clutched Ed tighter to him. "No way in hell!" Roy said.

"Roy, you didn't let me finish. You have two options. You pull out his nails or I will cut off his fingers," Melanie said.

* * *

Roy felt panic clutching at his heart at the thought.

That sick bitch.

But there really wasn't any option. Nails grew back, even if it would take months…

…Fingers didn't.

And he knew Melanie wouldn't hesitate to do it.

In answer to Roy's pause, Melanie took Ed's hand in hers and began pressing her thumb into Ed's, instantly drawing blood.

"Fine! I'll do it!" Roy said, his panic rising and his queasiness returning.

Melanie grinned and licked the blood off of Ed's hand. Then Gregor was there in a flash and was wrapping the cut up.

And handing Roy a pair of pliers.

Ed's breathing was still uneven and raspy, and Roy had to fight the urge to retch. Melanie was just sitting there, waiting patiently for them, smiling happily.

Ed was looking down, his face turned away from Roy, but he was holding his hand up for Roy to take in his.

"Edward, look at me," Roy said, his throat dry, needing to say _something_.

But what could he say? What do you tell a scared twelve-year-old right before you pull his nails out?

The small boy on his lap looked up at him, his eyes still tearful after the strangling. "Just do it," he croaked. "It's okay. I know you don't want to." His eyes may be teary and fearful, but there was determination in them. Not defeat.

Roy didn't know what it was about that look, but instead of gripping his hand and starting to pull out his nails, Roy pulled him close and pressed his lips against the top of his head. "I'm so proud of you, kid," he whispered, tears burning in his eyes. He knew that this was far less than Ed had been put through earlier, but Roy was about to knowingly torture him. None of them were drugged this time.

And Melanie was just watching their torment, enjoying it.

Ed's face was pressed against his chest and whispered back. "You too, I guess." He pulled away slightly. "I suppose we should just get this over and done with." Ed held up his hand again and Roy knew it was cruel to make him wait. And so he took it in his left, holding it firmly as he took the pair of pliers and held them tightly around the nail. Roy hadn't really noticed how long they'd grown before now, but he felt a sort of sick sense of relief that he'd get a good grip on them at least.

"Ed, I'm so, so sorry for this."

Then he pulled. He pulled and watched as he hurt him, the scene in front of him looking so unnatural and painful. He heard Ed hiss with pain, but other than that, he made no noise.

"Now, now, Edward, you're not allowed to close your eyes!" Melanie scolded. "You have to watch as Daddy Roy hurts you. Makes you bleed. That's it, good doggie!"

Understandably, Ed began squirming slightly by the second nail. His sounds of discomfort grew louder with each nail, making Roy suddenly happy that he hadn't ate anything since two days ago or he'd be retching violently right now.

"And now the toes!" Melanie said cheerfully just as Roy let out a sigh of relief that it was over as he placed the last nail in Melanie's outstretched hand.

"That wasn't the deal!" Roy protested.

"Torturer's privilege," she said sweetly, shrugging. "Besides, Roy, I said nails… That includes the toenails. If you don't want to, I'll just cut off his fingers."

Roy glared daggers at her as Edward moved his right foot closer so that Roy could pull out his nails. "Just take it…" Ed said, his voice slightly strangled, telling him just how much pain Roy had caused him.

And so Roy grabbed his foot too and pulled out all five of them, feeling absolutely sick.

"It's okay, Roy," Ed said hoarsely. "Th-they'll grow back…"

_There is __**nothing**__ that's okay with this._

Gregor then came over with a first aid kit and bandaged Ed's digits, making him whimper.

Roy was trapped inside a vortex of hate and disgust and shock and pain and fear that just made it hard to breathe because he had just tortured Ed. He had intentionally hurt him.

And it hurt.

It was absolute agony.

And what would Melanie have him do next?

The thought made his stomach twist even further and he hugged Ed to him even tighter as Gregor finished wrapping up his pinky.

"So, Edward, after that little lesson, it's time continue our training programme like we discussed. Gregor, please give me my little fun kit."

And so Gregor retrieved a smaller box from inside the first aid kit and opened it to reveal a series of syringes and a few vials of different substances.

Ed was tensing and then Roy was sure that the boy was losing his head as he threw himself at Melanie and started shouting. "YOU WANT ME TO BE A GOOD DOGGIE?! WELL SCREW THAT! YOU'RE A MANIPULATIVE BITCH AND YOU SHOULD GO TO HELL! I HATE YOU AND YOU'RE THE MOST DISGUSTING CREATURE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!"

For some reason, the outburst merely made Melanie laugh as she easily turned Ed over on his back instead and held him down. "I know what you're doing, Edward, and it's really _adorable_! Trying to save Daddy Roy from my little drug. Trying to stop him from hurting you because you try to make me angry enough to hurt you instead because you're scared."

"LIKE HELL YOU WILL, YOU SICK **FREAK**! YOU'RE JUST A SADISTIC, DISGUSTING FREAK AND YOU DON'T SCARE ME! YOU NEVER WILL! YOU'RE REPULSIVE! THE SCUM OF SOCIETY! YOU'RE JUST A FREAK AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOUR BODY IS FIGHTING YOUR EXISTENCE! NOT EVEN YOUR BODY WANTS TO HOLD A SOUL AS TWISTED AS YOURS! THAT MAKES YOU THE BIGGEST FREAK THERE IS!"

Roy watched as Melanie started shaking. "**I told you before, Edward:** **NEVER CALL ME A _FREAK!_**" The last part was a high-pitched shriek. She turned around and grabbed a syringe, filling it with an ominous-looking yellow liquid before turning back to the boy and then she plunged the syringe straight into his arm. "This should tell you just who the freak is," she panted, her voice full of malice.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter nineteen**

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GIVE HIM?!" Roy shouted, his heart beating so fast he was surprised he was still coherent.

Melanie answered by kicking Roy in the face, making him fall backwards, before throwing Ed across the cage. "Enjoy your little brat while you can, Roy. He won't be the same ever again," Melanie said coldly as she stood up and left, Gregor following.

Roy felt his stomach clench at that particular remark and scrambled to his feet so that he could get over to Ed, dragging a few blankets over with him. Ed was hissing with pain as Roy turned him over on his back and sat him up. "Damn, that hurts…" Ed said through gritted teeth, holding his hand to his chest, his fingers and toes obviously causing him pain. "Did she say anything about what that was she gave me?"

Roy decided he didn't want to answer that, and replied in fear with his own question as he threw the blankets around them."What the hell were you thinking, Ed?!" Roy demanded in a tone harsher than intended.

"I couldn't let her give it to you!" Ed was looking at him desperately, tears welling up in his eyes. "I just couldn't!"

Roy was taken aback at the reaction. Ed was terrified. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"She was gonna give you an extra strong dose of that damn hallucination drug that she gave me and I couldn't let her do that! I couldn't let her do that to you because it's **hell** and it lasts so much longer than that nightmare thing you got and I couldn't listen to you go through that!" Tears were streaming down his cheeks now.

Roy sighed and pulled him towards him and into a hug, mindful of his fingers. He began stroking his back and held him close. This was all because of what had happened that time.

"I can't protect myself! You're too big and you have all your limbs! I don't! I don't wanna go through that again! Especially when your eyes would be open, because I CAN'T GET AWAY!"

And so Ed was sobbing against Roy's chest. And Roy felt terrible. His body was hurting with the guilt and the pain and the desperation in Ed's voice and tears were running down his own cheeks because Roy had done this to him. "I understand, Edward."

"I'm sorry! It's not your fault, I know that, but you're not in control with that drug! It messes with everything and it lasts for hours and I can't be alone with you with that! I'm sorry!"

"Ed, I'm the one who should apologise. And I probably would have done the same in your situation."

Ed just continued sobbing against Roy's chest for the next ten minutes.

Then the boy began shaking violently all of a sudden.

"Wh-what's going on, Roy?" Ed asked, his teeth chattering and his voice shaky. "Wha-what's wrong with me?"

"Edward, it's the cold, we should get some more blankets, I'll be right back."

"S-something's happening! My mind's _screaming_!" Ed said, looking at Roy desperately. "It's the drug! It's so noisy! Voices, thoughts, songs, words, they're all _screaming_!"

Roy didn't like this. Not one bit. "Listen, Edward, I'll get the rest of the blankets and we'll get through this together just like the rest of it."

Ed nodded weakly, his eyes wide and his entire body shaking.

Roy quickly went to grab the remaining blankets, but turned around sharply at the _thump_ behind him. Ed was lying on his side, curled in on himself while gripping his head with his hand, his eyes shut tight. He was grimacing with torment and trembling violently.

Roy ran forwards, throwing the blankets down next to Ed and then he kneeled down in front of him, putting a hand on his head and on his shoulder. "Ed! What's wrong?!" Roy asked urgently.

Ed didn't open his eyes. "My head!" he gasped. "It's like it's on fire!" Ed started twitching and squirming on the ground, looking like he was doing everything he could in order to keep himself from screaming.

"Ed, just take it easy. Let's get you warmed up, first of all," Roy said, trying to sound calm before he began fixing the blankets. He may sound calm, but his insides were twisting themselves at the look on Ed's face.

"Gaah! Make it stop! Please!" Ed exclaimed.

"Edward! Just take a deep breath, it's only the drug," Roy said as he worked on the blankets as quick as he could.

"D-drug? What are you talking about? Where are we?" Ed asked suddenly, just as Roy reached out to place him on his lap. Roy froze.

"Ed, remember Melanie and the cage?"

Ed's eyes were brimming with tears, but he still looked confused. "What?" he asked weakly, terror shining in his eyes. He suddenly trembled violently again with a groan, his fingers gripping his hair, obviously causing him pain. His eyes snapped open, his body was shaking and he was panting heavily. "Wh-who are you? What did you do to me?!" he asked, his voice filled with terror and agony just before he began convulsing on the ground while screaming loudly.

Roy panicked. He grabbed a pair of blankets and rolled the boy up in them before pulling Ed onto his lap, restricting the boy's movements in order to stop him from hurting himself. Roy then pulled the other blankets around them and held Ed close, trying to soothe him, but Roy doubted he even knew he was there.

"MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" Ed screamed, trembling violently, his body fighting against Roy's secure grip.

Roy felt like throwing up at being unable to to do anything for Ed. He had no idea what Ed was going through, but he hadn't ever sounded so desperate for release before. "It will stop, Ed, it will, just stay strong for me a little longer," Roy said, hugging him even tighter.

When Ed opened his eyes about an hour later, his screaming finally having stopped to be replaced by wheezy sobs, the agony still very present, all Roy saw were a pair of unrecognisable golden eyes staring at him pleadingly.

_Oh, god, there's no fire in them. It's gone. _

"You can make it stop, can't you?!" Ed asked, staring madly at him like he was some divine being sent to rescue him. "You're big and strong and you can stop it!" He was so hopeful, so tormented.

And so different from the Ed Roy knew. This drug was breaking Ed's mind.

Roy felt like he could hardly breathe.

"Edward, I can't," Roy said, only now noticing the tear running down his own cheek.

"N-no, you **can**!" Ed urged, grinning shakily, head nodding with small and rapid movements. "Y-you **can**! You can make it stop and set me free! I want you to!"

Roy swallowed hard, his insides twisting themselves apart. He could never do that. "I can't, Edward. Please don't ask me to do that."

"No-no-no-no-no-no! You can do it! Please do it! I want you to!" Ed's pleading became more frantic as he was nearing another wave of agony it seemed. When Roy began shaking his head, Ed's eyes reached a new level of desperation. "PLEASE! I BEG YOU! JUST MAKE IT STOP!" Then Ed began twisting wildly again and he squeezed his eyes shut and began screaming with agony. "JUST KILL ME!" he shrieked, fighting violently against the blankets wrapped around him. "KILL ME! MAKE IT STOP! JUST END IT! **PLEASE**!"

Then suddenly, Ed just went limp. No shaking, nothing.

But his breathing was still ragged, calming Roy down just a bit just because he was still alive. Roy hardly knew what to do or think or anything right now. He had never heard anything so heartbreaking as those pleas. His hands were shaking and his own breathing was hitched and he was absolutely shaken to the core by seeing Ed that way.

He felt the tears running down his own cheeks as he looked at the boy. Ed seemed to be unconscious, but his features were still marred with the torment he was going through. He began twisting and gasping and shaking again, but he didn't open his eyes until many hours later. He blinked blearily up at him.

And then he froze, breathing heavily, obviously not recognising Roy at all. He began staring wildly around himself, looking for an exit, his eyes so different from how they usually were.

"Edward, take it easy, it's just Roy. I'm not going to hurt you."

Ed was beginning to panic, it seemed, and he was working hard to get away from Roy, making strangled shrieking sounds like he was some kind of small animal trapped under the paws of a large predator.

It was even worse than when Ed had been under the influence of that hallucinogen.

"Edward, calm down. I won't hurt you, I swear."

Ed began shrieking even louder and fought even harder. Roy tried to secure his grip better to stop Ed from hurting himself, but Ed suddenly got his right leg free and Roy got a knee in his face, breaking his nose and Ed used the opportunity of Roy's temporary lack of focus to get out of the blankets and start scrambling away from him. "Edward!" Roy said, his eyes watering and his nose bleeding while throbbing with pain.

Ed got over to the other corner of the cage, looking trapped and scared out of his wits and then he lay down on his side, curling in on himself and shielding himself with his arm, trembling.

Roy held up his hands in a placating gesture, realising that any sudden show of strength was only going to scare him more. Right now, he didn't care that blood was streaming down his face and his nose was throbbing like hell, Ed was scared out of his wits. He grabbed a couple of the black blankets, figuring that as it was in the middle of the day and the sun was shining brightly, it should be enough to keep him warm for a few hours at least until Ed had calmed down. "Listen, Edward… I won't touch you, I'm going to give you these blankets so that you can keep yourself warm, okay?" Roy asked, slowly walking forwards before dropping the blankets in front of Edward and then backed away and sat himself down in the other ones.

Ed looked at the blankets and at Roy for a long time, then he snatched them to him. "That's good, Ed, an now you just cover yourself in them," Roy encouraged kindly.

Instead, Ed sniffed them for a bit before he hugged them close to his chest, still shivering.

Roy's chest ached with fear. "Edward? Do you even understand what I'm saying?"


	20. Chapter 20

**So I'm posting two chapters in one go because the ending of the last one was a pretty evil one.**

* * *

**Chapter twenty**

The moment they had an address for the man who had sent the package, Maes was running out of the post office and into the car where the curious Second Lieutenant behind the wheel turned his head curiously towards him. Maes barked out the address as Alphonse, Hawkeye and Major Armstrong got inside the car quickly.

"GO!" Maes shouted at the driver.

After fifteen long minutes of silent tension, they pulled up outside a small brick house and Maes didn't even bother knocking. He kicked open the door and was immediately met by a foul stench that Maes recognised all too well.

…The sickening smell of a rotting corpse. Maes pinched his nose and went into the living room to find the body of a man in his late twenties hanging from the rafters.

Maes turned away, the stench sickening, but his instincts were still present enough for him to shout for Alphonse to stay outside.

Which was when Maes noticed the envelope on the coffee table with the large, blue letters "FOR THE MILITARY" written on it.

His hopes rising once again, Maes grabbed the envelope and went out into the hallway just as Armstrong could be heard going upstairs and Hawkeye seemed to have followed Al outside. Maes tore open the envelope, not risking telling the others in case it was a false lead. The top of the first page had the date of four days previously written on top of it.

_Hopefully you're reading this because you found the kid's automail limbs. Consider this my confession and witness testimony. _

_I'm part of a group of professional kidnappers, under the code name "Red". On November 16__th__, I was a part of the group that derailed the train that Flame Alchemist Colonel Roy Mustang and Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric were on by the use of a controlled explosion. We brought the two alchemists to a secret location and received the payment of the agreed upon sum for our favours by our employer, a Miss Melanie. We removed Elric's automail after treating his broken wrist, a stab wound in his abdomen and a cut to his forehead._

_Those are the things I know for certain. I am still a new recruit and they don't give me too much information about the nature of our missions yet. The rest are snippets of information that I picked up from their conversation, but keep in mind that seeming too interested would have been likely to get me shot._

_1)_ _They are being held in the town of Maehle._

_2)_ _This has to do with Ishbal._

_3)_ _We did not know which State Alchemists they were getting until after the train crash._

_4)_ _Miss Melanie was accompanied by an Ishbalan man with burns along the left side of his face by the name of Gregor._

_5)_ _Miss Melanie mentioned something about being a chimera._

_6)_ _It seems that the entire town is in on this thing._

_7)_ _Mustang and Elric have probably been tortured for this whole time._

_Shortly after being tasked with hiding the automail, my girlfriend called me and told me she was pregnant._

_…__Made me rethink my ways a bit, I guess. _

_I was going to wait for you people to come find me and tell you everything, but I guess I lost my nerve, so I hope this will be enough and that my last act in life was to save an innocent child._

_Signed: Dennis Warren._

* * *

Jean was sitting inside one of the many military trucks as they drove inside the city limits of Maehle. Breda, Falman and Fuery were there along with him and a bunch of other soldiers from the Eastern area. It had taken them a whole day since Hughes called, telling them that they knew where to find the Boss and Ed to get here. They didn't know what they were going to or how many they would be fighting. Just that the sun was setting over a town where two of their friends had been tortured for twenty-four days.

"I hope that they're all right. Ed's only been in the military for two months now," Fuery said nervously.

Problem was that people could do a lot of harm in that time.

"Me too," Breda said. "But we know that the kid's strong and so's the Colonel, that ups our chances."

None of them wanted to say it out loud that it was more likely that they'd find a couple of starved alchemists hanging by their wrists and with injuries that could be so severe that they were going to be discharged from the military.

They went silent again until the truck stopped and a Lieutenant Colonel ordered them out and to search the nearby areas. Jean went together with Breda, Falman and Fuery in the direction of the park as ordered. The sun had gone down by now, but the sky was still too blue for them to see stars yet.

"It's cold out here," Breda commented, his gun at the ready and his face sour. He didn't like the cold, they all knew that.

Jean merely nodded as they went through the arch in the tall hedge, finding themselves in a topiary-infested area.

_So it's the kind of park where you get fined for walking on the grass…_

"Do you really think that they'll be here?" Fuery asked in a mixture of confusion and hope.

"Either way, that's what our orders were," Jean said, walking ahead, gun at the ready. "We don't really know anything about these people other than that they think it's okay to torture twelve-year-olds. Normal way of thinking may be counterproductive in this case."

He turned around another tall hedge and then he froze. "What the hell?" There was a giant dog cage about two hundred metres in front of him.

And there was a person in there. "I think we've found them!" Jean said as he began jogging as fast as he dared, both focusing on their goal and on their surroundings in case of impending attacks.

Nothing happened however, and as he got closer, he could see that the person had black hair and as he got even closer, he saw that there was in fact a blonde head in there too. Then he saw that they were covered in blankets. They seemed to be asleep.

Jean was just about ready to burst with a mixture of relief, anger and anxiousness. The two alchemists looked relatively fine, but only their heads were visible, the rest covered in blankets. Ed's hair was of course a complete mess, though, and he was lying with a stack of blankets over him and resting his head on the Colonel's left thigh.

Jean wanted to call out, make his presence known, but he didn't know what their mental state was just yet. And so Jean turned to the others, speaking quietly. "You cover me while I get them out of that thing."

The rest nodded and so Jean walked around to the other side of the cage and to the locked door. The sound of feet hitting gravel seemed to stir Ed, and suddenly a pair of terrified golden eyes looked up at him. "Hey, Chief, we're here to get you out," Jean said kindly, taking a few steps forward to see just what needed to be done to unlock this thing.

That set Ed off. The boy squealed and got free of the blankets, revealing that Ed was stark naked and wearing a red collar. Jean froze as he watched him scoot himself away backwards with bandaged fingers and toes and no sign of his automail other than the ghastly scars. He didn't seem to recognise him at all.

The Colonel's eyes snapped open as Ed gave another terrified squeal and he looked up at Jean like he was ready to murder him. Then his eyes widened. "Havoc?" he asked incredulously, his voice hoarse.

"Yeah, Boss. Breda, Falman and Fuery are keeping guard," Jean said, trying to sound encouraging, but Ed's shivering form at the other side of the cage made him feel sick.

Then Mustang stood up, looking unharmed and pretty healthy, considering. He was only wearing a pair of boxers and he had a blue collar around his neck. Jean could see numerous purple spots on his arms, though, indicating that they'd been subjected to a series of injections. "Where's Melanie?" he asked, his eyes widening, betraying a hint of fear, but mostly just intense hatred.

"We don't know, who is she?"

Mustang's eyes clouded over with cold fury. "She's the bitch who broke Ed's mind," he growled. Then he turned away and went over to where Ed was lying, curled in on himself. "Shoot the lock and get us the hell away from this place, I'm taking Ed."


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm a bit confused by the stats for chapters 19 and 20, which I posted simultaneously yesterday, as chapter 20 has 23 more visitors? So if anybody has missed chapter 19, then I'd recommend you go back and read it, because that's the one where Ed's mind breaks so it's an important one.**

* * *

**Chapter twenty-one**

Jean did as he was told and pointed his gun at the lock. "I'm shooting it now, Boss," Jean warned and then did.

Which caused Ed to shriek, sending shivers down Jean's spine. Things were wrong, really wrong, but asking just to what extent would probably be a bad idea right now. And so he just watched as the Colonel wrapped Ed securely in a blanket, restricting his movements. The small boy was shrieking, fighting against him as he carried Ed over to the now open cage door. "We're getting him out of here now," Mustang said sternly, his eyes revealing that there was more to this than meets the eye. "She's not hurting him anymore."

Then he stepped out of the door.

And stopped suddenly as his legs began shaking.

Then he fell to his knees and hugged Ed tightly to him, Ed's shrieks muffled by his hug. Tears began streaming down his cheeks and he kissed the top of Ed's head. "We're actually out of that thing," he said weakly, looking up at Jean who was slightly unnerved by it all. "It's been twenty damn days inside there."

Then he placed Ed securely against his chest and removed his collar and then his own and threw them away. "We're out, Ed. We got out, so please just talk to me again!" Ed just reduced his shrieks to squeals, and Jean guessed it had something to do with the fact that the Colonel was outright crying as he looked at the boy. "Just give me some sign that you actually understand a damn word I'm saying!" The Colonel pleaded desperately.

Ed was only staring at Mustang, no understanding in his eyes as he whimpered continuously, a hint of curiosity in the golden orbs as he watched the Colonel's tears. Jean found the scene absolutely heartbreaking.

_Damn it, we were too late._

The Colonel just hugged Ed to his chest again as he sat there, shaking. Jean removed his uniform jacket and put it around Mustang's shoulders. "C'mon, Boss, we're getting you home." He squeezed his right shoulder and felt his boss lean his head on his hand and Jean couldn't help noticing just how cold his cheek was. He didn't remove his hand, however, he didn't have the heart to do so. Jean had a feeling that the two alchemists had been through much more than what the evidence implied. After all, Ed's stumps were completely healed up. There should have been some traces of the procedure, even if the automail ports were removed the moment they got here twenty-four days ago. Ed was also supposed to have a stab wound in his abdomen, but there weren't any signs of that either. And his wrist clearly wasn't broken. But why that Warren guy should have lied about something like that didn't make any sense either.

"Hey, Boss, we —"

Then suddenly Jean was thrown through the air and he heard a shot being fired right before he landed on his side. He turned around quickly to see a brunette in a tight-fitting red dress holding Ed by the throat with only one arm, the boy screaming and flailing, the blanket left on the ground. Jean was pointing his gun at her and Breda was shouting for her to drop Ed and give up.

_How the hell is she able to do that?!_

"I don't think so! You put down your guns or I'll snap the puppy's neck!" the woman shouted, her balance perfect despite her slender form. She shouldn't have had the strength to hold Ed like that.

"Do it! Now! That's an order!" The Colonel barked out, his voice strained with panic and anger.

And so Jean put down his gun, hating himself for doing this.

"I meant all four of you! I know you're there behind the bush, I can smell you!" the woman shouted over Ed's frantic shrieks.

Jean cursed inwardly. That whole chimera thing was obviously true no matter how far-fetched it had sounded.

Ed was staring wildly around, kicking and fighting for his life, looking more like a trapped and injured wild animal than anything. "Get back in your cage, Roy, or I'll make you break his limbs."

Then suddenly a shot rang out and the woman fell to her knees with an enraged scream, letting go of Ed as the Colonel leapt at her with a roar of his own.

The next second, there was a bone-chilling _snap_, and the brunette lay limply on the ground, the Colonel panting heavily where he was kneeling in front of her. "**You're not laying a damn finger on him ever again, you ****_freak_****,**" the man growled darkly.

Ed was trembling, watching the dead woman with wide, tearful eyes.

The scene made Jean's blood run cold. He had never heard the Colonel sound like that. He was deeply satisfied with killing her. He was proud to have snapped the woman's neck in cold blood.

No, Mustang wasn't the same either after this. The man crawled over to Ed who was whimpering where he lay trembling on his side, his left arm held protectively over his head and his back to the cage, effectively trapping him. Mustang picked the shivering boy up again and pressed him to his chest while pressing his lips to his head. "It's over. It's finally over. She can't ever hurt you ever again, Ed," he said, his eyes closed and gently rocking back and forth. His voice as he spoke was so soft and gentle and such a complete contrast to his words after he killed Melanie.

Jean heard the crunch of boots on gravel and looked up at Sergeant Ross, one of the soldiers that had come from Central together with Hughes during the investigation. Jean suddenly realised that she'd been coming from the opposite direction of which the wind was blowing, meaning that Melanie hadn't noticed her.

Mustang spoke hoarsely, still rocking a whimpering Ed in his arms. "You're the one who fired the shot?"

"Yes, sir. I'm Sergeant Maria Ross, I heard the screams and came to cheek it out."

"Then you're going to be a Second Lieutenant by next week if I have anything to say about it."

* * *

Jean got inside the truck after Mustang and Ed. Fuery was up front with Falman, getting out the message that they had found the two alchemists. Ed was staring wildly around him and squealing loudly at being carried inside the truck. Breda had got in before them and was handing them a black military coat that someone had left behind. They'd get it back later, so it wasn't a big deal. Mustang gently eased the boy's arm out of the blanket and put it inside the coat and closed it around Ed before gently setting him down on the floor. Jean thought it was a strange thing to do, but the second Mustang let go of Ed, the boy began scooting backwards until he reached the innermost corner of the truck and then he curled himself up inside the coat underneath the bench, his bandaged fingers and toes disappearing into the overly large garment. The Colonel sighed heavily and sat down on the bench after draping the blanket around his own shoulders. He had already protested that they didn't need to call for the ambulance that was driving around because being inside it would probably stress Ed out even further right now. When the tailgate was in place, the truck started and they drove off.

Jean looked over at the trembling form in the corner and felt his stomach twist sharply, his curiosity getting the better of him. They had already told Mustang the basics about how they found them. "Boss? Warren said that Ed had a stab wound and a broken wrist… Why aren't they there now? His stumps are also completely healed, so what's going on?"

"Xingese healing alchemy called alkahestry. They've been healing us up as they went." His eyes filled with despair and guilt. "Although they couldn't do that with Ed this last week because they couldn't get him to lie still, so they've been injecting him instead."

"So Ed's been like this for a week?" Breda asked, his eyes betraying both anger and pain.

"Yes. Melanie gave him some drug and he's been like that ever since." The Colonel looked down sadly for a few seconds before he looked back up at them. "Listen, you wouldn't happen to have something to drink that isn't water?"

"Sorry, Boss, afraid not."

"Then a breath mint? Chewing gum? Hell, I'll even have a smoke."

Jean produced a pack of cigarettes and gave it to him before he found his lighter and held it at the ready. Mustang's hands were shaking as he fumbled with the cigarettes, and Jean decided that the truck was driving slow enough for him to sit down next to Mustang on the other bench instead. He nearly fell in the process, but he managed it even so. He gently grabbed his boss's hands and took out the cigarette for him and placed it in his right hand.

Mustang brought it up to his mouth shakily and Jean lit it for him. "Thanks, Havoc." Then he began laughing shakily, the tone heavy with relief, pain, sorrow and bitterness. "Believe it or not, but two weeks of dog food with a hint of vomit and a sprinkling of blood from a punctured lung doesn't leave the best aftertaste."


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay, so studying the stats, I see that there are a lot of chapters that seem to be skipped, and those are all the ones that I post within 24 hours of the last one, meaning that they don't show up as updated on the front page. I will therefore just start giving a general warning about that, so for those that missed it, I posted a chapter yesterday.**

* * *

**Chapter twenty-two**

"Punctured lung?!" was all Jean had to say. "Then why did you say no to the ambulance?!"

"Because it isn't anymore," Mustang said, blowing out a puff of smoke, his face bitter. "Like I said: alkahestry. All the torture, none of the hypovolemic shock. She decided to stab me in the chest just for the hell of it about two hours ago and I've still got some blood in my throat. Which means that we're not going to the hospital before we've eaten some pizza."

Jean had been peppered with unpleasant details in just a few seconds, yet his mind was still stuck on that last part. "Pizza?"

"Yes, Havoc: pizza."

"Why pizza?"

"Because I've been fed a steady diet of injections and dog food for the last twenty days and I'm not letting our first meal out of that cage be some hospital-made sludge disguised as soup. So yeah, I want pizza. And Ed's getting as much of that orange soft drink as he wants, and that's an order."

Jean hadn't even thought about that, but their boss must be starving for something good to eat.

"Then we'd better let the driver know," Breda said and slid sideways across the bench, causing Ed to yelp loudly as he came closer to his corner. When Breda came all the way up and began knocking on the wall separating them from the drivers, Ed shrieked and dragged his way out from his hiding place and stared around wildly for a second before he began dragging himself forwards until he reached Mustang and then he dragged himself under the bench under him so that he was hiding behind his legs. Then he just stared up at them with frightened eyes from where he was lying curled up with his head raised as he watched them closely.

In response, the Colonel threw the cigarette over the top of the tailgate, letting the cold ground extinguish it. He then bent down and held out his right index finger in front of the scared boy. Ed kept his eyes on Jean, but Jean didn't even move, too confused by this scene taking place. After a minute, Ed reached out his hand cautiously and grabbed the finger, holding it in a very similar fashion to a toddler.

"Hi again, Edward," Mustang said gently, none of the harsh bitterness traceable in his voice. It was just like when he had spoken to him earlier. "You're going to get something really tasty for dinner. You're going to get tasty dinners every day for the rest of your life."

Ed didn't say anything, he only kept his eyes on Jean and his bandaged fingers around Mustang's proffered one.

The bandages gave him an uneasy feeling in his stomach. If they had only been using injections for a week, then that meant that Ed's fingers and toes had been damaged before that.

Which made Jean's stomach twist because he had a nagging suspicion about what that must mean. "They pulled out his nails, didn't they?" Jean said before biting his bottom lip. He hadn't meant to say anything, he just did it without thinking.

"I did." The voice was heavy with anguish, even if it was barely audible. "Otherwise she was going to cut off his fingers. It was right before she gave him that drug that did this to him."

Jean gripped his shoulder again, his heart sinking in his chest. "Sorry, Boss … I shouldn't have asked."

"I probably would have too … Just please don't ask me about anything else right now."

Jean squeezed his shoulder. "Of course, Boss."

* * *

Roy felt drained where he lay in his hospital bed. The doctors hadn't found anything wrong with him other than the beginning stages of hypothermia.

Ed was lying in the bed next to him.

**And they had fucking strapped him down.**

These so-called "professionals" had decided that Ed was surely a danger to himself and those around him and so they had pumped him full of sedatives and strapped him to his bed.

Was Roy really the only one who had any brains in their heads? Ed wasn't crazy or suicidal. He was _terrified_ and he had forgotten about everything it seemed. He wasn't going to act like a rampaging rhino when he was a mouse while everyone else were hungry cats.

And when Ed's eyes finally met his as he slowly tilted his head in his direction, looking so accusingly at him, Roy decided that regulations could go screw themselves. He went over to Ed's bed and unfastened the straps, having promised the others that they were okay for a little while as they made the necessary phone calls and fetched them a bag of crisps and some toiletries. Fact was that no matter how good it felt to see them, Roy honestly didn't know how to act around them anymore. He was their leader and their boss and he was the reason that an innocent kid from their team was unable to speak of the horrors of the last twenty-four days.

And seeing the pain in their eyes made things so much worse.

Ed was looking up at Roy in a way that told him that he had done the right thing in letting him free from his straps. The boy was still terrified, but now he was also sedated to high heaven and had no clue about what was going on with his body, making him instinctively refuse to fall asleep at the same time as the doctors were afraid of giving him anything else because of what he'd been through already. And so his eyelids were heavy and his eyes were begging for Roy to help him.

Roy could understand the doctors's approach to some extent, but Roy had spent a week with Ed in this state, carefully building up some trust and understanding.

Meaning that he was the only one who seemed not to scare Ed shitless. Ed still screamed if Roy carried him because Ed didn't want to be carried and he didn't have the words to express it. He didn't like it when he was trapped and he couldn't move like he wanted to. Ed didn't understand his surroundings and he didn't understand what people said. Not understanding didn't make him crazy.

And so Roy lay himself gently down beside Ed and held up his right index finger in front of Ed's eyes before placing it in his hand, and sure enough, Ed closed his fist around it. It was the equivalent of a hug these days. It had started with Roy offering his hand for Ed to sniff, and suddenly Ed had just gripped Roy's finger in his hand and just held onto it. And that was what Roy did whenever Ed crept back to him at night to keep warm. It was human contact that meant that Ed wouldn't be trapped by anything or anyone.

And it meant that they had each other through that hell.

He gently tugged the duvet over them and marvelled at not having to use another one of those (literally) bloody blankets.

And Roy did not want to let go of him. He guessed that Al would be bringing him back to Resembool and even if Ed would be scared, surely he'd benefit from being in the open country? But if he didn't remember Alphonse or the Rockbells, wouldn't it just make matters so much worse because Roy would be leaving him? Leaving him with a bunch of strangers?

And Roy couldn't really see himself just returning to his normal life after this while leaving Ed scared and whimpering so far away from himself. Roy needed Ed. He needed to know how he was doing because Roy was the only one who knew how it had been for these last twenty-four days. He was the only one who actually understood. And when Ed learnt to speak again or if he began regaining his memories, what then? He couldn't just leave him.

Roy didn't even know what he wanted anymore. He'd been dreaming about this for over three weeks, but now that he was here, he found that he didn't know what to do next. All he knew was that in a few hours he would have to give a report on what had happened these last few weeks. He was going to have to relive it all over again.

He'd have to recount the things they had done to Ed.

Roy felt a tear go down his cheek.

"I don't know what to do anymore, kid."


	23. Chapter 23

**Guess what, people? This chapter is actually a happy one! (Sort of)**

* * *

**Chapter twenty-three**

The nurse was not impressed with Roy's antics and Ed immediately squealed as the door was opened, squeezing Roy's finger as he sluggishly curled in on himself.

"Colonel Mustang! What's the meaning of this?!" the woman in her forties exclaimed and stormed forwards. "He was restrained for a reason! Now get back in your own bed immediately and let us deal with Major Elric!"

"No." Roy's answer was firm and left no question.

"I know you've been through a lot, Colonel, but you are not a medical professional and you're putting yourself and Major Elric at risk!" she said sternly, pulling the duvet off of them and causing Ed to shriek.

"Listen, lady, you have no fucking clue what we've been through and if you strap him down to that bed again, then I swear I will get you arrested for patient abuse, you hear me?"

The nurse paused, looking at Roy. "We are doing this for his own and your safety, Colonel Mustang. Now please get out of the bed or I shall have to call the nurses's station."

"Our safety, huh? So you think that the best approach to treating a scared child who's been stuck inside a cage for twenty days and has been tortured with numerous injections is to pump him full of sedatives and strap him to a bed? I suggest you put that duvet back and leave us alone because Ed was doing a hell of a lot better before you stormed in and removed what sense of safety he had just regained!" Roy spoke quickly and murderously and glared at the woman.

"I will have to inform the doctor about this, Colonel Mustang," the woman huffed.

"Then please make sure to give him my reasonings and my kindest regards."

She looked straight at Ed's terrified eyes and her face paled. "You just watch yourself or they're going to strap you down too," she whispered, but it wasn't a threat.

It was a warning.

She draped the duvet back over them and left.

"She's gone, Ed, you're safe."

Ed whimpered a few more times and then he went quiet, even if he was still curved up into a ball.

The peace and quiet lasted for about four minutes and then the doctor stormed in with three nurses, although the one he had talked to was gone. Ed squealed again and pressed his back against Roy's chest, his hand tightening its grip around Roy's finger.

"Colonel Mustang! You get out of that bed right now or I will have to restrain you! Major Elric is a high-risk patient and I shall have to separate you if you don't do exactly as I tell you!" the doctor said loudly.

"So you're just going to continue the torture, is that it?! He's not insane! He's scared as hell because he doesn't remember how to speak or who people are and he's been tortured with injections ever since it happened! I swore to protect him whenever I could and if that means fighting you, then that's what I'll do!"

"Nurse Lydia, please go fetch security."

Roy acted instinctively, grabbing Ed and running back into the corner of the room, the two nurses and the elderly doctor obviously sceptical about restraining him as he was definitely a more skilled fighter. He put the shrieking boy down on the floor, knowing that he was going to just curl up behind him as they were backed into a corner.

"Colonel Mustang, you're only making things worse for yourself. Security will be here any second now," the doctor said sternly.

"Screw you, nobody's hurting my boy." Then Roy bit down on the inside of his right wrist, instantly resulting in a small stream of blood, and Roy got down on his knees, quickly drawing up a transmutation circle with his blood. Just as the doctor moved forwards to stop him, giving up on his angry rants, Roy activated it and with a flash of blue alchemic light, Roy had transmuted two walls around himself and Ed, making the doctor unable to get at them. Roy had made sure to leave about thirty centimetres between the walls and the ceiling, giving them plenty of light.

Roy looked back at Ed and the boy was in fact not curled up, but staring at Roy's bleeding wrist with wide eyes, even if he was shivering. "A! A! A!" he exclaimed.

Roy froze. Was Ed remembering something?

Ed slammed his hand down on the stump of his left leg as quick as he could. "A! A! A! A! A!"

Then he slowly drew an invisible circle on the floor in front of him and Roy began recognising it as the design of Al's blood seal. "AAAAL!" Ed shouted, then he clamped his hand over the stump of his arm. "Al."

"Edward? Are you remembering Alphonse?" Roy asked, stunned.

Ed just kept clutching his stump. "Al-Al-Al-Al-Al!"

Roy decided that a visual aid might help and drew up a small transmutation circle and activated it, creating a small model of Alphonse's armour and held it up to Ed. "Is this Al?"

Ed looked at it, no recognition in his eyes. Instead he just redrew the invisible blood seal on the floor and muttered "Al-Al-Al-Al-Al…" before putting his hand on the stump of his missing arm. "Al."

Then the moment was lost and Ed looked at Roy's bleeding wrist and slowly took his right index finger in his hand before placing Roy's hand on the floor between them. He then took the extra fabric of his left trouser leg and placed it on top of the wound before taking Roy's left index finger and lifted his hand to rest on top of the makeshift compress.

Then Ed clutched Roy's right index finger with his hand, shivering.

"Colonel Mustang! You come out of there right now!" the doctor shouted.

Roy felt unusually reckless and giddy with happiness over the fact that Ed had just spoken. He had remembered something that could mean that Al wouldn't have a brother who didn't know who he was. And so Roy had something warming his insides in a way they hadn't been for twenty-four days.

He was bubbling with **hope.**

"Don't think so, doctor!" Roy laughed. He was actually in control of the situation to some extent. He could keep these people away from Ed. He could actually **protect** him. "In fact, you can go screw yourself for all I care!" Roy moved so that he was leaning his back against the wall facing the doctor and what he guessed were a few security guards. He kept his right hand on the floor so that Ed could keep holding his finger. He was looking curiously at Roy's laughing face, before glancing at the wall and then he lay down so that Roy could keep his trouser leg on his wrist while Ed could also place his head on his lap. And so Ed lay there, looking at Roy curiously with his finger clutched in his hand. He seemed to relax at having this protective barrier between himself and his tormentors.

"What's going on here?" Roy heard a familiar voice say. "You okay, Boss?" Havoc called out from over by the door.

"Excuse me, Lieutenant Havoc, but we're in the middle of a situation here. You need to go outside," a nurse said.

"I'm not letting them strap Ed down to the bed, Havoc. For some reason, the bastards don't like it!" Roy told him.

Next second came the crackling of plastic and then a bag of crisps landed next to Roy, causing Ed to yelp, but then Roy laughed. "Get you, Boss, I'm gonna talk with Riza's grandpa then!"

Roy began giggling at that. "Say hello from me!"

"Sure!"

Roy felt great. His team were still just as loyal as ever, not even questioning his actions. They trusted him. And Roy had protected Ed. He had protected Ed and Ed had spoken and now they were going to share a bag of crisps until he got to talk to someone who wasn't a complete idiot.

Roy smiled down at Ed while he grabbed the bag of crisps with his left hand and used his teeth to pull it open, figuring that when they had been sharing a fucking water bowl for twenty days, it didn't really matter that he used his teeth.

And so Ed looked at the bag curiously and Roy took out a crisp, popped if into his own mouth and chewed it before holding one out in front of Ed's mouth. Ed sniffed it and then he gently stuck out his tongue and licked it. After that, he put his mouth around it and sucked it experimentally, his eyes going wide. Then he started chewing, obviously enjoying the flavour.

"Good, isn't it, Ed?" Roy smiled, giving Ed another one before popping another one in his own mouth. Roy had never before known crisps to taste this good, but this was _heaven._

And it seemed that they had both just tuned out the sounds of the angry doctor, for once able to just ignore someone who was threatening them. It was **great**.

"I heard there was some disagreement over here about the treatment of the two State Alchemists?"

Roy froze at the sound of that voice.

There was no mistaking it.

_Shit! It's the **Führer**!_


	24. Chapter 24

**Warning time! I posted another chapter earlier today, so those that haven't read it, need to do so.**

* * *

**Chapter twenty-four**

"Führer Bradley!" Roy heard the doctor squeak. Ed was holding Roy's finger tighter, obviously scared because of Roy's reaction. "Please, Sir, you should leave for your own safety! The two patients are highly unstable at the moment!"

"May I assure you, Sir, I pose no threat or danger to you, no matter how my attempts at protecting Ed from further harm may be perceived," Roy said calmly. If he worded this just right, he might be able to have this idiotic doctor suspended for his treatment of Ed. "So if you would please excuse my current refusal to come out, Sir, as I am merely keeping these people from causing a terrified child from being further distressed and subjected to what will undoubtedly become torture to him."

"If I may object, Sir!" the doctor said. "Colonel Mustang has just removed the restraints from Major Elric and then forcibly taken him from his bed, most likely against his will! He then bit down on his wrist to use his own blood to create a transmutation circle and lock himself in with Major Elric! He is highly unstable and is also posing a threat to Major Elric!"

"Actually, Sir, we a currently sharing a bag of crisps and Ed is resting his head on my lap after using his trouser leg as a temporary bandage for my wrist and the boy is significantly calmer than he has been ever since he was first restrained. My actions were rash, I won't deny it, but also instinctive after what has happened and I would like to say that I find the doctors and nurses to be acting highly unprofessionally and abusive."

"In what way would that be?" Führer Bradley asked calmly.

"Sir! We have certainly not been abusing our patients!" the doctor exclaimed. "We are—"

"Doctor Smith, I was not asking you for your opinion right now, and if you won't let Colonel Mustang speak, then I will have you removed from this room," Führer Bradley said, his voice slightly more intimidating. "Patient abuse is a serious offence, and so is intentionally harming a State Alchemist. I will hear what Colonel Mustang has to say and you are not to interrupt us."

"Yes, Sir." Roy was fighting back a laugh at the sound of defeat in his voice.

"So, Colonel Mustang, in what manner do you find their actions abusive?"

"They are still blatantly refusing to listen to what I have to say, Sir. I am undoubtedly the one who understands Ed best at the moment and I also know what he's been through. They are treating him like a grown and violent soldier that has been tortured into insanity instead of a terrified child who has lost two limbs and who is in fact _**not**_ insane. The drug Melanie gave him has caused him to forget who he is and just about everything and everybody in his life, including his own language. He's scared and he doesn't understand what is going on, other than the fact that these people too are drugging him so that he can't move properly and then they strap him down, leaving him scared out of his wits while he doesn't know what's wrong with him. I'd say that refusing to take that into consideration is nothing more than torturing a child for no reason, Sir."

"I see. Then what do you propose we do with Major Elric?"

"Let him find out things for himself, Sir. Relearn the way the world works. He can't get any progress if he's just lying still. Especially as seeing my bleeding wrist right now was enough to spark a piece of memories as he seemed to remember parts of the accident that caused him to lose his limbs."

"You look like you have something to say, doctor, I will allow it for now."

"Thank you, sir. To me, it sounded like Major Elric was screaming in pain. Like Colonel Mustang was in fact _hurting_ him. Major Elric is my patient and I do not trust Colonel Mustang not to lie as long as we cannot in fact see them and Major Elric is unable to speak."

"Excuse me, Sir, but if Doctor Smith had been listening closely, he would have heard that Ed was in fact saying his brother's name, which he should know full well from his files. I would say that it suggests that the doctor is more focused on labelling Ed insane than for him to make an actual recovery."

"Your Excellency, that is nothing more than slander!"

"Yet Colonel Mustang does make some very valid points."

Roy wished he could fish some more information out of Führer Bradley's voice, but it was as steady and unreadable as ever.

"From his point of view, Sir! We sedated Major Elric because he was refusing to lie down in his bed, all the while fighting against us with intentional violence. Nurse Susan is currently being treated for a black eye caused by Major Elric's fist. He is unresponsive and violent and with at least a week's worth of torture as his memories, it makes it very clear to us that he is a danger to himself and others!"

"Because you were the ones that were scaring the hell out of him in the first place by approaching him with a syringe without letting me stay with him! You've seen the inside of his arm and you weren't listening to a damn thing I was telling you! Of course he was fighting you off with all his force when you might as well have been pumping him full of the same drugs that had him screaming his head off with agony for hours on a daily basis for the past week!" Roy replied sharply. Ed was looking up at him tensely, and Roy gave him another crisp, seeming to calm him down a bit as Roy kept the salty snacks coming. "Your methods will do nothing to help him towards a recovery and you're not even willing to listen!"

"Colonel Must—"

"Doctor Smith, kindly leave the room, I believe I have heard enough and would like a word in private with Colonel Mustang."

Roy heard the steps of several feet going to the door and then the door was closed. "Colonel Mustang, as you can already guess, Edward Elric is being honourably discharged from the military. However, Doctor Smith has already approved the transfer of Mister Elric to a more secure and better equipped medical facility."

Roy froze, his stomach clenching harshly. "No, Sir, you can't allow that! They can't send him to a lunatic asylum!"

The thought made Roy's blood run cold. Some of the approved practices in those places were torture in their own right, and there was no way in hell that Roy would let Ed get locked up in there. "Please, Sir, you have to believe me, he is not insane!" Roy was panicking. "He's just a scared child and he needs me!"

"So what do you suggest, Colonel Mustang? Sending him back to Resembool to his guardian is out of the question because Mrs. Rockbell is already considered to be unsuitable to take care of him alone because of her age."

Roy looked down at where Ed was lying and into those scared, golden orbs. "Let me take him, take both brothers, Sir. I know how to act around Ed and he trusts me. I can help him recover from what he's been through because I understand it better than anyone else." Roy was trying to make a compelling case because he couldn't let them take Ed from him and hurt him. Roy would escape from the hospital with Ed under his arm and live as a fugitive before leaving him in one of those places.

"That would hardly be considered to be a wise decision, Colonel Mustang, considering what you've just been through and that you are living alone."

"Please, Sir, I'll do whatever it takes to keep Ed. Whatever terms you have, I'll agree to them."

Führer Bradley went quiet for a little while. "Then I have a deal for you, take it or leave it. First of all, I'm giving you a year's leave with full pay. Furthermore I'm giving you a month to prove that you are suited to do it despite what has happened. There are certain conditions that you must meet, however: you're to stay with someone else, not to indulge in any alcohol and you will have visits from a psychologist twice a week. If said psychologist comes to doubt your ability to take care of the Elrics, the deal is off. If you've proven that you can do this during your month, the offer will be extended to a year. After that, we'll reevaluate the position and possibly make the decision whether or not to grant you guardianship."

"Thank you, Sir, I accept your conditions." Roy felt numb and panicked. He couldn't lose Ed, never ever.

"In that case, you're being released from the hospital in three days, I suggest you get your living arrangements set up by then and report them back to Lieutenant General Grumman who will also keep me informed."

"Yes, Sir! Thank you!"

"You just take good care of those boys and don't make me regret this, Colonel. I'll see to it that you get another doctor assigned to you."

Then suddenly a piece of chalk came flying down next to him. "Thank you, Sir!"

The door was closed and Roy picked up the piece of chalk and transmuted the wall and floor back to normal, Ed looking at him with those frightened and curious orbs as he sat up in front of Roy.

Roy felt a tear run down his cheek and next second, Ed was leaning forwards and gently licking the tear away with a small tongue before leaning back again and uttering a curious whimper that seemed more confused and intent on cheering Roy up than anything. The action made Roy sure that he would do whatever it took to take care of him.

"Ed, I won't let them take you away. I will keep you safe no matter what, you have my word. Now let's get back into a soft bed with a duvet," he said with a slightly strained voice as he thought even more tears.

And so Roy turned his head around to see that the Führer seemed to have left them a couple of melons before he departed.

* * *

**And if anybody finds Bradley's actions strange, I would just like to say that they are because he needs to find out if Ed is still able to be used as a sacrifice, which means that his recovery is crucial to their plans.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter twenty-five**

Alphonse was walking through the hospital, not knowing what to think or what to do. Mister Hughes had told him that Brother wasn't going to be able to recognise him. He wanted to run to find him, but also not.

Because he was afraid of seeing just how much Ed had been through.

"This is it, Alphonse, 405," Mister Hughes said and knocked on the door twice before opening it. There was a yelp from inside the room and Al could see a familiar face peeking over the Colonel's shoulder along with a set of bandaged fingers.

Al felt both thrilled and crushed at the sight. There was no recognition in Ed's eyes.

There was just fear.

And Brother was whimpering at the sight of him.

Suddenly the Colonel was offering up his right index finger for Ed to take, and he did.

"Brother?" was all that Al could think of saying.

Ed only whimpered in return.

The Colonel too looked different. Not just because of all the needle marks on his arm, but also his eyes. His eyes were filled with pain and desperation and guilt. "Alphonse," he said weakly. "I-I'm sorry."

"Don't, please," Al said, looking at the shivering blonde.

"We'll leave you three alone, Al," Lieutenant Hawkeye said, placing a hand on his arm. "We'll come back in an hour."

Al knew that that wasn't the original plan, but it seemed that both Hawkeye and Mister Hughes didn't mind and Major Armstrong hadn't been allowed to come with them to see Ed. Apparently he'd been to this hospital once before and the nurses had been very adamant that he'd be likely to cause Brother to panic. Havoc, who had been standing in the corner of the room, went over to the door too, Ed following his movements closely.

And so the three soldiers left and closed the door gently, leaving Al alone with Brother and the Colonel.

"Alphonse, I don't want to get your hopes up unnecessarily, but there is a chance you could help him retrieve something of his memories. I don't know exactly what he'll remember if he does, but if you could show him your blood seal?" the Colonel said suddenly, the urgency evident in his voice.

"My blood seal?" Al was surprised by the odd request.

"Yes. I used my blood to make a transmutation circle two days ago and it seemed to trigger at least a fraction of a memory and he kept muttering your name while drawing the blood seal."

His hopes shooting through the roof, Alphonse immediately went over and kneeled down in front of the bed as he removed his helmet, letting Ed see the blood seal that he had drawn in his own blood.

Brother froze, staring at it. "Al."

Then he climbed over the Colonel to get closer before he leaned down and touched it. "Al-Al-Al-Al!" Al just watched, hoping for something that would mean that Ed wouldn't be so scared of him. Ed gently traced the design of the blood seal as he muttered his name. Ed then slammed his hand on the stump of his missing arm. "AAL!" he shouted, making Al just want to grasp his brother and hug him. Ed suddenly looked down at the helmet Al was holding in his hands and moved to replace it and Al helped him do so. "Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh!" Ed looked at him with such desperation and then he began hitting his head with his palm in annoyance like he thought it might help him remember something.

Alphonse was frightened by the response and grabbed Ed's wrist instinctively. "Brother! Don't hurt yourself!"

Ed's eyes widened as he froze and looked at him curiously. "Buh … Buh … Buh … Bo-uh," he said, tasting the word. "Bo-uh," he then repeated, looking a bit puzzled. "Bo-uh."

"He's saying "Brother"! He's remembering something!" The Colonel said, obviously both happy and relieved.

"Bo-uh," Ed said, looking like a confused toddler. Then he held out his hand to Al.

The Colonel looked ecstatic. "Al, give him your right index finger!"

"Okay?" And so Al held up his finger in front of Ed. He sniffed it curiously and then he carefully grabbed it in his hand. "Bo-uh."

"He's responding to you! He's actually responding to you!" The Colonel said and Al could see that he was nearly crying.

Al didn't know what to say or what to think. Ed began shivering and the Colonel sat up next to Ed and pulled the duvet around them, Ed still gripping Al's finger. Al couldn't stop noticing the bandaged digits. "Colonel? What happened to his fingers and toes?" he asked, needing to know, but also dreading the answer.

"Melanie forced me to pull all his nails out or she was going to cut off his fingers. I'm so sorry, Al." The Colonel's eyes clouded over with desperation and guilt.

Al was horrified.

"It was right before she gave him the drug that did this to him. I don't think he even knows why his digits are hurting." Then he looked down. "Alphonse, I am so so sorry for this. It's all my fault. I dragged him into the military and I'm the one Melanie wanted to hurt and she tortured him to do so. Your brother paid for what I did in Ishbal and it's all my own damn fault!"

Ed winced slightly at the tone in the Colonel's voice, and then Al saw tears going down the man's cheeks. Ed seemed to have seen them too, and the next second, he had released his grip around Al's finger and he then gently shoved his forehead against the Colonel's cheek while making a kind of questioning mewling sound.

Like he was trying to cheer him up.

It was heartbreaking.

"It's not your fault, Colonel. Brother made the choice to join the military. You were just trying to help," Al said, not knowing what else to say or think. Colonel Mustang had been through so much pain, both physical and psychological and this was a very different man than the one Al had known. He looked so burdened and exhausted, and so unlike what Al had grown to associate with Roy Mustang.

At the mention of the word "Brother", Ed responded with saying "Bo-uh" once again as he kept his forehead pressed against the Colonel's cheek.

"He's been honourably discharged and his automail ports were completely removed and the stumps healed up. All my "help" did was put your brother through so much agony and it was all for nothing," the Colonel said, the self-loathing clear in his voice.

"Bo-uh," Ed repeated, shoving his forehead against the Colonel's cheek again. "Bo-uh."

Sudden realisation struck Alphonse. "I think he's trying to cheer you up, Colonel, by repeating what made you so happy earlier." Al added as an afterthought: "and I don't blame you for being tortured by them hurting my brother."

"Bo-uh."

"Alphonse, I —"

"Please, Colonel, just don't say that. I don't blame you and that's final. Now please just stop it because I haven't seen him for four weeks and I don't want to deal with stubborn stupidity like that!" Al was slightly shocked by his own outburst, but he had been worried sick about Brother and to see him like this hurt him more than he'd even imagined and he honestly didn't know what to do anymore. "We'll get him back home to Resembool and help him recover."

The Colonel went silent for a little while and Al could tell that there was something wrong. "What's wrong, Colonel?"

"Alphonse, you're not going back to Resembool."

"What? Why?! Brother's been discharged from the military, hasn't he?"

"Bo-uh."

"Mrs. Rockbell has been deemed unsuitable to care for Ed. He's been diagnosed as unstable and dangerous and the Führer himself had to step in to stop him from being sent to a lunatic asylum."

"So where will he be going?" Al said, fear rising.

"Al, you and your brother are moving in with me."

"Bo-uh."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter twenty-six**

"What?" was all Al could think of saying.

"The Führer offered me a deal as I am the only adult that Ed actually seems to trust. I'm not allowed to live alone and we'll have visits from a psychologist twice a week, but it keeps Ed from being locked up in a lunatic asylum."

Al didn't know what to think or what to say. They were going to live with Colonel Mustang? "Oh … So you're our guardian now?" Al asked, still a bit dumbstruck by the sudden change of plans for their future.

"Yes and no. I've been given a month's trial time, then a year and then they'll figure out if they'll grant me guardianship. After all, it's unusual to let someone who's just got back from …" He paused, looking awkward and his eyes spoke of a complete exhaustion when thinking about what had happened. "… from something like that … deal with raising two boys on their own, especially when Ed is the way he is." He looked so sad at that last remark and Al honestly didn't know how to respond. They'd been through so much and Al just didn't know how to talk to the man anymore.

"Mhm," was all he said.

Al was in utter turmoil. Everything was wrong and Brother was … like this. That strong and stubborn big brother of his was currently mewling gently as he lay down and rested his head on the Colonel's right thigh, curled up into a ball. Ed looked at Al and held out his hand slightly. "Bo-uh."

Al did as he had done earlier and held out his index finger for Brother to take, and the fingers gently closed themselves around the leather digit. "Bo-uh."

_How could anyone do this to you, Big Brother?_

* * *

There came a couple of knocks on the door and Ed yelped from where he was lying with his head on Roy's lap. Roy looked up to see Hughes, Hawkeye and Breda enter the room. "Hello, sir. It's good to see you again," Hawkeye said softly. He had been breathless to see her and Maes an hour earlier, but he'd been too focused on Alphonse to really let their presence sink in.

Now, however, that voice was really what brought it home to Roy that he was actually out. The sound of the voice that had promised to stay by his side forever. Who would follow him into hell if he asked her to.

And the voice who couldn't be there when he was.

Which had made it all so much worse.

If Ed hadn't been resting on his lap, then Roy would have walked right over and hugged her.

Ed was tensing and he grabbed Roy's index finger instead, squeezing it.

"It's okay, Brother, they're friends," Al said gently.

"Bo-uh," Ed repeated like he did every time the word was uttered. Roy didn't know exactly why that was, but it meant that Ed was communicating at least slightly. He was responding to the word. Maybe he was trying to recover something from his memories by saying it.

"That's new, is he remembering something?" Breda asked, trying to look unfazed, but the hopefulness in his eyes was evident.

"It's a word he associates with Alphonse, but that seems to be it. He repeats it every time we say the word "brother,"" Roy explained.

"Bo-uh," Ed said, still looking scared.

Hughes was looking heartbroken, and Roy could understand why. Maes had a daughter that had been born only a few months ago after all. He had been good with kids before, but ever since Elicia's birth, he had been overprotective of just about every kid he saw.

Which meant that he was looking like he wanted to use Gregor for target practice when throwing his daggers now that Melanie was dead and not an option.

"Hi, Maes," Roy said, trying to get his focus on something else as the angry looks made Ed tense. "It's been a while, huh?" Roy tried to give him a weak smile, but he was pretty sure that his lips only trembled slightly. To suddenly have his entire team and his best friend back around him meant the world to him.

He was finally home.

Hughes shifted his attention to Roy and his eyes were almost bursting with all the emotions behind those green orbs. Instead, he employed the same approach that Roy did. "Hi, Roy. I'd say it's been _too_ long."

There was some awkward silence and then Breda stepped forwards, pulling out a folder from under his arm. "Listen, sir, could you look at a few pictures to see if you recognise any of the three people you described?"

He didn't bother adding Melanie because they all knew that Roy had snapped that bitch's neck with his own hands.

Roy nodded, not knowing how he'd react to seeing the pictures. Ed followed the black folder with his eyes and whimpered slightly when Roy placed it on the bed next to his left thigh. Roy opened the folder and his eyes fell upon a very familiar face despite only having met the man once and only having seen the bastard's eyes. "That's the surgeon," Roy said.

"You're sure, Boss?" Breda inquired. "There were a few other surgeons in town too."

"Those were the same eyes that looked at me as the bastard cut into Ed's nerves," Roy growled. "There's no fucking doubt."

Ed whimpered at the sound in Roy's voice and it made him curse himself inwardly. If he should happen to trigger memories of when he killed him or when Ed was under the influence of the hallucinogen, then he would probably lose him.

That couldn't happen.

Never.

And so he flipped through a couple of pages of unknown Ishbalans and Amestrians alike with increasing queasiness until he came upon the mechanic. "That's the mechanic," Roy said coldly, trying to keep himself from just grabbing the picture and rip it to pieces.

"Gotcha, Boss," Breda said, obviously memorising the page, not asking for confirmation this time.

Then came a large group of pictures of Ishbalans with burn scars, until Roy felt his stomach clench as his eyes fell upon the man who was without a doubt Gregor. "That's him. That's Gregor."

Then there was a scream from where Ed had silently turned around in order to have a look without Roy noticing it because of the wave of emotions that were flooding through him.

Now, however, Ed was panicking and Alphonse grabbed the folder and slammed it shut as Ed tried desperately to get away from the picture of his tormentor. Roy had grabbed Ed around the middle with his right arm to keep him from falling off the bed and was shielding his face with his left as he moved off the bed. He held the thrashing and shrieking boy under his arm and then placed him on the floor and let go of him. Predictably, Ed immediately dragged himself over to what Roy had mentally dubbed "the safe corner". Ed laid himself down in the pile of spare duvets and blankets that General Grumman had negotiated out of the nurses so that Ed had somewhere safe and warm during these types of incidents. The boy returned to whimpering as he pulled a duvet over his curled up form all the way up so that it covered his head too.

Roy got back to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, looking up at the others.

Maes was pale as a ghost and Hawkeye had a tear running down her right cheek. Breda was biting his lip, having been here since the safe corner was set up, but it still didn't make it any better.

And Alphonse, whom this was affecting the most, remained unreadable as he was stuck in that armour shell.

No, none of this was right.

"He'll come out when he's ready," Roy said, noticing that his own throat was dry and choked. "Some of the nurses scare him so he prefers to eat over there for instance … Also after we take him to the toilets and we have to use the wheelchair," he explained, his voice heavy with both sorrow, guilt and anger. "He gets scared when he meets larger groups of people because …" Roy really didn't want to say it to Alphonse, but Ed was his brother and he deserved to know. He would still ask him if he would like to wait, though. "Al? You're allowed to leave if you don't want to hear about it."

"No, I should know … I want to understand him better…" Al said, his young voice telling him that he'd rather not listen, but these were facts, not fiction.

And ignoring what had happened would probably damage their relationship later on.

And so Roy sighed. "…Because the second night after Ed … I was so worn out after that day's … lessons … I didn't hear those bastards coming and kept sleeping. They were just drunk, but from what I could gather when I woke up, they had crept up on Ed when he was asleep and grabbed his collar before one of them hooked his belt through it and tied him to one of the cage bars, partially choking him just for some sick sense of entertainment. I was woken up by Ed's screams as they forced him to drink a beer bottle full of pee." Roy felt sick thinking about it. The panic and the utter disgust at seeing Ed as he choked on the yellow liquid that dribbled down his chin and chest and those bastards who just stood there laughing. Roy had ran forwards, only for them to step out of his reach and run off laughing, leaving Roy to get Ed free as he choked and gargled at that damn stuff while also trying to fight Roy off.

And that was why Ed would only fall asleep close to Roy.

Hawkeye, Hughes and Breda all looked sick.

After a little while, Breda spoke up. "I'm not sure if you're going to be happy about it or not, sir, but we've arrested one-hundred-and-seventy-four of the townspeople for attacking military personnel during the search at least."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter twenty-seven**

Roy was walking next to Ed, Ed holding his finger tightly as Alphonse pushed his wheelchair through the hospital. Ed was continuously whimpering and yelped at the sight of passing strangers. Havoc and Breda were walking behind them as they were the designated drivers for the sixteen-hour drive back to East City. Hughes, Hawkeye, Fuery, Falman and Major Armstrong had left the day before in order to get a head start and begin setting Roy's house up for their arrival. Roy hadn't been there in a month and with Hawkeye moving in and everything, it meant that Roy also needed an extra bed for instance. Roy did have a guest room and his own king-size bed was enough for both him and Ed while Ed was basically learning to feel safe not sleeping on the cold ground. And while he learnt how to actually use a bed. He still spent his nights curled up and resting his head on Roy's thigh, after all, which wasn't exactly the healthiest way of doing things in the long run.

So Ed would hopefully learn to sleep in his own bed, although Roy guessed that they'd be sharing the bedroom for a while because of Ed's mental state and the fact that he could potentially harm himself if left unsupervised and if he was unlucky.

…And knowing Ed, he probably would be.

Ed was dressed in a blue sweater and and a pair of light grey sweatpants. He had a loose, blue slipper on his remaining foot, as pulling on a sock would only hurt his toes and therefore scare him shitless. And Ed was already scared enough as it was by the changing of clothes and being transported in the wheelchair. Ed had thankfully understood the concept of the contraption and got into it by himself after the first demonstration three days ago as long as he saw that it was merely helping him get around and nothing bad happened.

Meaning that Ed had only been given a shower once, which was the day when they got there and Ed was sedated to high heaven and surrounded by a bunch of nurses who wouldn't let Roy near him. When Roy had tried taking Ed to the shower room the next day, Ed had panicked once he realised where they were headed and Roy had had to carry the screaming and thrashing boy back to the room, leaving one of the nurses to bring the wheelchair while Roy brought Ed to the safe corner.

And so Roy really hoped that Ed would respond better to bathtubs.

Roy had quickly come to realise just how little Ed knew about just about everything. And just what that meant when Roy was the one who had earned Ed's trust. Because Roy had really become the boy's carer.

Thankfully, Ed had learnt to use the toilet tube during their week in the cage, meaning that Roy knew how to recognise the symptoms for when Ed had to use the toilet. Ed made a kind of curious whimper like he wasn't exactly sure what his body was up to about five minutes before he had to go, but he couldn't really control it for more than that specified amount of time.

Meaning that Ed had been wearing diapers ever since they were admitted to the hospital.

And that Roy was the only one whom the boy trusted enough to change them and wipe him dry and clean him.

He might have let Al do it too, but if there was one thing Roy didn't want Al to have to do, then it was to change his twelve-year-old big brother's diapers just to rub it in how much their relationship had changed because of this. Besides, Al couldn't feel his fingers and that made it even more risky because Ed was already jumpy as hell when Roy did it.

No, Roy was beginning to realise just how much work there was involved in this. When he had begged the Führer to let him take Ed in, he'd been panicking, not really thinking about what it would really mean. But caring for Ed in the cage as opposed to caring for Ed as a free being? Ed was scared by wearing clothes! It would be like training a traumatised toddler trapped in the body of a crippled adolescent. Although the motor skills were definitely better.

Then there was Alphonse too. Roy had said he'd take the brothers in, meaning that if things went as they should…

_Then I'm going to become their father…_

The thought scared Roy shitless. He had no clue how to be one. The closest he had been was when he was keeping Edward from dying of hypothermia while letting the exhausted child cry on his shoulder.

…That wasn't exactly the greatest place to start when figuring out the secrets of fatherhood.

_**You could just keep things like they are, Roy. You don't have to be their father at all. Nurse/distant uncle is far easier.**_

For some reason, the thought made him feel sick. There was no equivalency in that approach.

_Hey, boys! I'm just going to come in, ruin your lives, and then keep you at an arm's length after Ed is probably the only reason I'm not stuck in a straitjacket at the moment. So yeah, I'm just going to ignore the fact that you two probably need a parent right now more than ever to because that's easier for me!_

The idea was still daunting as hell, though. He knew nothing about raising children. He knew only small parts of the Elrics's childhood through what Ed had told him as they spent their time in that damned cage.

"Colonel? Are you okay?" Alphonse asked him.

Roy mentally shook away all the thoughts and fears buzzing through his mind at the moment. "Yeah, Al … I guess I just got lost in thought, that's all."

"Oh, okay. So you're sure you're all right?"

_No! Because holy crap! I'm taking in a couple of boys and I have no clue what I'm getting myself into and I've been so focused on getting home and keeping Ed safe that I haven't even realised it before now and holy shitfuckcraphell!_

"Yes, Alphonse, I'm sure," Roy said smoothly.

"Okay, Colonel."

_I wonder what Alphonse is expecting from me? He doesn't sound like his hopes are high. Am I putting too much thought into this? Does he even want a father? Ed's military files say that their father left nine years ago, maybe any efforts on my side will be unwelcome?_

"Bo-uh," Ed said, squeezing Roy's finger tighter. Ed used to say that to cheer Roy up after that first response to the word and Roy still appreciated the fact that Ed actually felt the **need** to cheer him up.

_That's progress, after all, isn't it?_

"I don't think Brother agrees with your response, sir," Alphonse said, his voice sounding like his soul was smiling sadly.

"Bo-uh."

"I'm just thoughtful, that's all."

_Because I'm going to be your guardian and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to be doing anymore!_

"Bo-uh," Ed said, looking up at Roy curiously.

Roy gave him an encouraging smile.

Then they were delivering the signed release forms at the front desk and so they were off through the large double doors.

Then came the part that had needed some preparation.

Because they would have to keep Ed happy with being stuck in a relatively small box for sixteen hours. They had decided to use the same military truck that they arrived in and placed a mattress in the far corner so that Ed could keep both warm and comfortable, especially as Alphonse had been kind enough to transmute said mattress so that it couldn't slide around while it also had the edge facing the tailgate folded up ninety degrees so that Ed had a fifteen centimetre "fence". And of course, he had a few duvets and pillows to do with as he liked.

And so, spotting what was undoubtedly a new safe corner, Ed got inside the truck once Al stopped pushing the wheelchair and dragged himself over to his snuggly corner. Once he was done pulling the duvet over himself, he stretched out his hand to Roy who was just getting ready to sit down on a bench. Instead, he walked over and offered Ed his finger and the boy gently began pulling Roy towards him as he mewled, obviously telling him that he wanted him to sit down.

And so Roy did. He had to say, they really had given Ed a comfortable area and Roy pulled a duvet around himself while Ed lay down with his head on Roy's lap and gripped his finger once more.

Roy looked between the large suit of armour as it sat down on the floor in front of them and Ed's curled up form and gave a weak smile to the boys, trying to be encouraging.

_Okay, boys, it's us against the world from this point on._


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter twenty-eight**

"Well, boys, here we are. Welcome home," Roy said awkwardly as the truck came to a halt in the familiar driveway. He couldn't really see much from where he was sitting, but he could see the upper floor of the house across the street.

Ed was looking about him curiously from where he was lying with his head on Roy's lap. He mewled slightly at the sound of the doors up front opening and closing and yelped as the tailgate was opened to reveal Havoc and Breda. "You ready?" Havoc asked, looking at Ed's whimpering form. "Because in that case, we'll come see you in a few days once you've settled in a bit.". Roy nodded and thanked them before he picked Ed up into his arms, to which the boy began shrieking and thrashing in his grip. Roy got him out of the truck and carried him into the hallway, and Alphonse shut the door behind them. Roy put Ed down on the floor, not failing to notice the way that Maes had child proofed just about every sharp corner in the house and everything that Ed could potentially hurt himself on as he dragged himself around. The staircase had been covered with mats to prevent slipping and there was even a baby gate on top of the staircase.

Ed was whimpering as he took in his surroundings. It was only ten in the morning and they had eaten in the truck, meaning that what they really needed, was a shower. Roy was looking forwards to one very much as the hospital showers were a bit off-putting when there were poop stains on the roll of toilet paper next to the toilet a metre away. So even if he felt cleaner than he had ever since that one shower he was allowed to take before the cage, it still didn't feel like he was properly clean after using one of those, even after he alerted the nurses about the toilet paper and it was changed.

Also, washing yourself in the same room that when the day he got there, a male nurse had had his eyes glued on his head for the entire shower was a bit …unnerving. The man hadn't been staring at parts that made him uncomfortable, and Roy had long since got over the whole "many men in a wardrobe" panic: he was a _**soldier**_ after all and the nurse had probably already seen just about everything that nature had to offer.

No, it had been the fact that Roy hadn't been allowed to take that first shower without _supervision._ Showering with someone staring at you to make sure you don't drown yourself kind of takes the pleasure out of the warm water.

The house was empty except for the three of them. Hawkeye was supposed to be in the garden at the moment and would come inside in about an hour, giving Ed time to learn his new surroundings. The boy was already sniffing at the phone cord and then he was off after a curious glance up at Roy.

Roy sighed, taking a deep breath as he let the scent of his own home wash over him. "Shit. I'm actually here," was all he could say. Then he reminded himself that there was an eleven year old kid standing next to him. "Sorry, Alphonse. I shouldn't be swearing."

"It's your home, Colonel," Al said awkwardly. Their relationship was kind of strained still. After all, they hardly knew each other and the nature of their previous relationship was basically "I'm your brother's CO and could you please keep him from blowing stuff up?"

And now they'd be living together until Al moved out.

No, Roy had no fucking clue what to do, really. "Still, it was rude of me and I shouldn't be swearing anyways."

"If you say so, sir."

Then Roy realised why Al wasn't walking further into the house. "Alphonse, it _**is**_ your house too now, you don't need my permission to act like it. There's a library in my basement and you're free to look at everything you want, although the door to the right down there is off limits."

"Oh, okay, thanks … Can I ask why it is? If you don't want to tell me, that's okay!"

Roy couldn't help that little, sad smile at the reminder of the Elric curiosity. "It's okay. It's just where I keep my research and I've promised someone that I will never let anyone else learn the secrets of flame alchemy."

_And none of this would have happened if I had just listened to Master Hawkeye._

"Oh. I see."

"Al, would you mind keeping an eye on your brother while I go upstairs and have a shower? Afterwards, I'm going to give him a bath."

"Bo-uh," came Ed's voice from the neighbouring room.

"Of course, sir!"

Roy smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you, Al." Roy didn't really want to put this much work on Alphonse, but he had to ask him even so. "And I'm probably going to need some assistance… I've been thinking, Alphonse, and there's no way that letting Ed keep his hair that length will be anything but cruel in the long run. Forcing him to take it as I brush out the knots that have been building up for two weeks now is just going to break what trust I have gained and I don't want to hurt him."

"I see. I'll help you however you need. But how are you even going to get him to sit still long enough to cut it?"

"That's what I need you for… I need you to hold up a bag of crisps for him as I work." Roy felt … empty … at the idea that he'd have to use food to distract Ed so that he could cut his hair. He felt like he was letting him down in a way.

_Ed shifted his position on Roy's lap and began running his fingers through his hair as far as Roy could tell in the limited amount of light inside the playhouse. The kid grunted a bit, obviously as a sign of displeasure._

_"Edward? You're finger combing your hair?" Roy asked, surprised, as he pulled the blankets around him again._

_"Yeah. It's getting knotted up by these blankets and, well, I'd like to keep it straight so that once I get a shower again, I'll actually be able to keep it this long. Took me over a year to grow it out, you know?" Ed said uncomfortably._

_"Can I ask you why you keep it that long? It wasn't that way back in Resembool as far as I remember."_

_"Guess I just felt like it, and when I told Al I was growing it out, he suddenly got a bit … sad, I guess. He started thinking about how he missed the feeling of a simple hair wash. And soon enough, he was reminiscing about how he always loved to pet my hair when we were younger. According to Mom, the first time I met him, he reached out and grabbed my antenna and he just loved the feel of my hair, so that was how he greeted me that first year. Then it was my fringe after that first time I tousled his hair and he decided to try it for himself on me and that was when we shared the same bed and so he used to do that every night before going to sleep. He stopped when he was around four, but he'd do it from time to time just as a kind of nostalgic joke ever since. And so he joked about how he'd have to give the plait a go when he got his body back to see if it lived up to his standards…" The boy sighed. "So I'm gonna make sure that it's up to shape for him, no matter how long we'll have to stay here."_

Roy felt terrible as he recalled that conversation with Edward. But there wasn't a way to get past the problem that his hair now represented.

"But he's keeping the antenna, Al, I swear," Roy told the boy as he placed a hand on his arm and looked up at him.

"Okay…" Al said, obviously a bit confused about the solemnity that Roy had put into the statement.


	29. Chapter 29

**So... I'm back with another chapter after yet another writer's block... My muse is a funny (or not really as it can be pretty annoying at times) thing, so I can't really say when the next update will be. However, I would like to make an announcement as I am planning once this story is finished (in probably quite a few chapters as I have a few things that need to happen first) to make a sequel.**

**So thank you so much for sticking with me this far and I hope I'll update soon!**

**(And do please leave a review as they usually inspire quicker updates, but no flames, please)**

* * *

**Chapter twenty-nine**

Roy pulled on his white T-shirt and light grey sweatpants and sighed. His **clothes** smelled like his, his hair finally smelled like his own because he had the right **shampoo**, he had an unusually generous amount of his own **deodorant** on just because of the scent…

… Yes, for the first time in a month, he finally felt clean. He smelled clean. His bathroom smelled clean. It smelled like a clean and healthy Roy Mustang that was done getting **_clean_**.

**_And it's fucking wonderful._**

Roy looked at himself in the mirror and suddenly froze.

How the fuck hadn't he noticed the beard?

It had been allowed to grow for a month and he hadn't had a shave in all that time. He'd just seen it as natural and unavoidable in the cage and back at the hospital he'd been too used to it being there to actually even consider it. In hindsight, he guessed that nobody had mentioned it to him at the hospital as the nurses weren't going to exactly encourage him to request a razor.

But now? Here? In front of his own mirror?

"You're going down…" Roy said angrily. "I'm a free man."

_God, that felt good to say._

And so Roy walked back downstairs fifteen minutes later, clean-shaven and as ready as he'd ever be for the next post on the programme.

"Alphonse?" Roy asked into the hallway as he headed for the kitchen to find a pair of scissors for Ed's hair as well as the bag of crisps.

"We're in the living room, Colonel," Al said, and so Roy pocketed the scissors and went into the living room to find Al standing in the middle of the room, Ed nowhere in sight.

"Where's Edward?!" Roy said, surprised and confused.

"Brother found himself a… hiding place…"

"Bo-uh," came Ed's voice slightly muffled and Roy wheeled around to see that Ed had curled himself up inside the otherwise empty drinks cabinet, judging by the proof that the glass doors provided.

Roy's eyebrows shot up at the sight and he threw the bag of crisps to Alphonse before he strode over to Ed. The boy had nearly shut the doors completely and was looking up at Roy with a kind of uncertain curiosity.

Roy gently opened the doors, even when Ed halfheartedly tried to keep the left door shut. "Okay, Edward, I know you're not going to be happy, but it's time to get you fixed up a bit, so bear with me and then we'll get you tons of cookies and ice cream."

Ed just looked at him curiously, obviously perplexed by the sudden lack of a beard. "Here we go, then…" Roy said, reaching in to lift him out. But then he paused as Ed placed his hand on his right cheek, holding it with a puzzled look upon his face, studying Roy's face as though he had a memory on the tip of his tongue.

Then something curious happened. Ed suddenly reached out and grabbed the front of Roy's t-shirt and stared at him. "AWLUH-ELLU!" he shouted, before he looked at Al sadly and then Ed let go of Roy's t-shirt and pulled his hand back to his chest and curled in on himself, frowning.

Roy just kept looking at Ed, the boy didn't actually seem angry, but he was trying to **_recreate_** it.

"Colonel? That was —" Al began, sounding shocked.

"Yes… That was when I first met you two in Resembool," Roy said, still looking at Ed, whose lips were moving slightly without noise. "Edward? Are you okay?" Roy asked, worried that Ed had remembered something that made him fear Roy. "Edward?"

The boy looked at Roy suddenly and his eyes seemed to fill with realisation. "Eh…dah … Ed-dah … Eddah!"

Then Ed reached out with something akin to a smile and grabbed Roy's finger. "Eddah!"

**_Fuck._**

Ed was looking so pleased with himself, but problem was that judging by the evidence, Ed was now thinking that it was _Roy's _name.

"No, I'm Roy, remember? Roy Mustang."

Ed just looked at him in confusion, no comprehension to be found in those golden orbs.

But there was something else in there…

_Hurt._

Ed was looking hurt.

But why? What had Roy done to warrant that reaction?

_Damn it! Of course! The other times, I've been encouraging him and celebrating it when he remembered something, which is probably why he's trying so hard in the first place!_

Roy sighed and leaned forwards, gently stroking a stray lock of knotted hair out of Ed's face with his free left hand. Ed whimpered and looked at him with fright as he let go of Roy's finger and tried batting away his hand.

But there was still hurt in those eyes.

"Edward, I'm sorry," Roy said, sitting down with his legs crossed as he watched the frightened child who was looking not unlike he would if Roy had slapped him.

"…Eddah," Ed said, looking at Roy with hope in his eyes.

Roy sighed and smiled, holding out his finger for Ed to take. "Very good, Edward, and soon, hopefully, you'll learn that it's your name."

Ed studied Roy's face and his mouth formed into a very weak smile as he grabbed Roy's finger. "Eddah."

* * *

Al found himself lost for words as he watched the conversation. It was heartbreaking to see his brother like this. He didn't know what had happened to him, what was happening to him to make him this way.

But Al had never wanted to cry as much as he did right now.

Instead, he could only watch as the Colonel sat there for the next fifteen minutes. "Alphonse, are you ready?" he said suddenly, his back still to him. Al could hear that the Colonel was finding this hard too.

"Yes, sir."

"Then I'm sorry that I have to carry you again, Ed."

And then the Colonel leaned forwards and scooped Brother into his arms, Ed instantly screaming and thrashing in the strong grip. "Okay, Al, you go ahead and open the bathroom door for me, then when we're through, I want you to lock the three of us in and remove the key as Ed is still dead smart and determined and I don't want to take any chances."

"Okay!" Al said, walking ahead of them, wanting to punch every single one of the people who did this to Big Brother as he made his way up the stairs.

"First door on the right, Al!" the Colonel said over the sound of Ed's screams.

Al did as he was directed and opened the door for them, seeing the way the Colonel was holding Brother securely and preventing him from hurting himself by kicking and punching the things around him. Before this all happened, Al would never even have thought that his brother could make such noises. He really just sounded like a trapped animal.

Al closed the door behind them and locked it as he was told to before placing the key on top of the shelf by the door, and then he opened the bag of crisps, holding it at the ready as the Colonel struggled to get Ed's sweater off him, Ed now yelping where he was sitting in the bathtub. "Al, please hold his leg in place so that he doesn't hurt his foot and then do the same with the arm when I get started on the sweatpants."

"Yes, sir!" Al said, walking over to the tub and then he grabbed Ed's right leg just above the ankle. Al still had trouble believing that this was how his relationship with his brother was going to be. This was how his life was going to be.

Brother was...

..._**Broken**_.

The Colonel pulled Ed's sweater over his head and as his hair was pulled back and his neck was exposed, Al got his first clear view of the greenish bruises around Ed's neck. That and the strange little dent-like thing on the side of his neck. The skin was unbroken, but it looked like it had been stretched together. "Why's his skin like that, Colonel? Not the bruises, but the ... dent?"

The Colonel seemed to instantly grow sick as he kept pulling Ed's wrist out of the sweater. "Melanie took a bite out of his neck and they healed the wound closed. It's like that because he's basically missing a piece of his neck," he answered in a haunted tone, nearly inaudible over Ed's screams. "Now please come over here and grab his arm for me."

Al was suddenly glad that he didn't have a stomach or he would probably have thrown up. Those monsters had turned his Big Brother into a mere object for them to torment.

And they had broken Ed's mind. They had broken the mind of one of the strongest and smartest people he knew. They had hurt his brother. And Ed was so scared. His eyes seemed to betray some sort of inner torment that Al had never seen the likes of.

Al grabbed Ed's arm and held him still as the Colonel moved to pull off the sweatpants. Then they were off and Ed, his big brother Ed, was staring at them in fear while wearing a pair of diapers.

Al felt like running off and punching everyone who had let this happen to him. Who had let those monsters torture his brother to this point.

Colonel Mustang threw a towel around Ed's shoulders, earning another frightened whimper. "Crisps, now, Al," the Colonel said and Al immediately reached inside the bag and handed one to Ed who began sniffing it and then chewed it with all his might, making Al keep feeding him as Mustang stepped into the tub and sat down on the edge, pulling out a pair of scissors and carefully set to work. "I'm so sorry, Alphonse," he said quietly. "I-I don't know what to say... Just ... If you need to talk, if you need anything, just please tell me. And if ... understandably enough, you don't trust me, then just know that Lieutenant Hawkeye is here too."

Al was overwhelmed by everything. He didn't know what to say or what to do, but the thing that had really stuck with him, was the defeat in the Colonel's voice.

And it made him realise that Brother wasn't the only one who needed his help right now.


	30. Chapter 30

**I just got the inspiration for another chapter, but I can't tell when the next will be, it really depends on my inspiration to write.**

**Please leave reviews! (But no flames)**

* * *

**Chapter thirty**

Roy put Ed down on the floor in the living room, the whimpering boy instantly heading for what he spotted as another safe corner. Fuery and Falman had (for the military's money as they had given Roy an extra amount of money to spend on whatever materials needed to prepare the house for Ed) done an admirable job with buying and preparing a total of five extra mattresses, thirty soft pillows, twenty warm winter duvets, another ten summer duvets, as well as their respective bedsheets, pillowcases and duvet covers, all of them flannel as it was soft and warm, and yet very different texture-wise from Melanie's silk. Roy knew that Edward's favourite colour had used to be red, but Roy had avoided it now as it might give him associations with Melanie.

And so Roy had already spotted three of the five safe corners that he had told his team to make. There was one in the living room in the corner behind the sofa for when Ed really needed to be alone, as well as another one in the hallway, and then there was one in the kitchen. Roy knew that the fourth and fifth ones were in Roy's bedroom and downstairs in the basement so that Ed could stay with his brother when Al was in the library.

Roy watched as Ed disappeared beneath a duvet, his now short hair being the first thing to disappear. Roy had needed to be quick, so now Ed had a weird mixture of a short version of his usual haircut, antenna the only thing that was still as long as it had been, his fringe shorter, but the rest of his hair looked pretty much like Roy's. It had simply been a case of panicking on Roy's part, because he knew from experience that it wasn't too short, easy and quick to make and VERY easy to keep knot-free, which was a plus as Roy had discovered Ed to NOT like hairbrushes.

So something that only needed about three strokes with a comb had seemed a good idea and Alphonse had agreed.

Roy had also finally found a garment that Ed seemed to approve of. He knew that Ed firmly disliked tight clothes and wool, the wool part was easy because of those damned blankets inside the cage. And Roy could only guess that because of their lack of dress inside the cage, Ed mostly associated regular clothing with lots of people seeking to hurt him. Ed had after all been a lot more wary at the first time he saw Roy in the hospital and he had time and time again on the drive home grabbed the front of Roy's shirt and lifted it as if trying to get it off.

And now, after a few conversations with Alphonse back in the truck, Roy had asked Havoc to phone Hawkeye to ask her to buy whatever non-woollen, large ponchos she could get.

So now Ed was wearing diapers and a large, white, flannel poncho with childish drawings of smiling sheep in light grey and black. Ed had looked at the sheep, poked one of their foreheads and then looked back at Roy without complaint or attempts to pull it off again.

Roy guessed he still liked sheep. Al had told him to take that one because it might remind him of the Resembool Spring Sheep Festival, and even if it didn't seem to spark any memories, at least it seemed to be decorations that he liked.

Al walked over to his brother and sat down on the floor next to him. "I'll look after Brother, Colonel, you deserve to really get home, you know."

"Bo-uh," came the small voice from under the duvet.

Roy paused. "Alphonse, that's not your responsibility... If you need some time for yourself with everything that has happened these last few days, then the library has probably got a lot of alchemy books that you'll like. There are even a couple of shelves of fiction to the far left."

Al paused a little. "Could you watch Brother while I get some books? Or do you want them to stay in the basement? It's just that I don't want to distress Brother even further by moving him downstairs."

"Bo-uh," came Ed's muffled voice. "Bo-uh."

Roy sighed. "Alphonse, it's your house too, you can go wherever you want with whatever books from the library you want. Of course I'll look after him in the meantime. You take your time finding what you would like to read, and I'll stay here with him." Roy gave him an encouraging smile and went over to him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder where he was still sitting on the floor.

Alphonse looked at his hand, then at him, and then he gently placed his own hand on top of Roy's and squeezed it carefully. "Thank you, Colonel," he said before standing up and leaving the room.

"Of course, Al," Roy said in time for Alphonse to hear, before he sat down with his legs crossed in front of the bundle of duvets and pillows hiding Ed. "Hey, kiddo. I'm sorry getting your hair cut scared you. But it seems like baths are the way to go at least. Nice and warm, wasn't it?" Roy said softly. Ed hadn't tried to run away from it, although he had quickly tried to keep his toes and fingers above the water as it seemed to be uncomfortable on his abused digits. It had sent a shiver down Roy's spine to see him flinch like that and instantly lift his leg onto the edge of the tub as if it had been burned. That was Roy's doing. He had pulled out those nails and he had no idea what Ed must think about it or how the discomfort and pain from it must be perceived.

After that, however, Ed had seemed to relax just slightly and enjoy the feeling of that warm water, even if he pressed himself into the corner as if the free space was threatening. Al had been quick to transmute the bathroom wall so that the bathtub was temporarily divided into two by a small wall, which Ed had seemed to find perfect and it was easy to transmute back, so everybody gained from it.

There was a set of clanking footsteps and Roy turned around to see Al standing in the doorway. "Alphonse? Is something wrong?"

"I was just wondering, sir, if it would be all right if I rang the Rockbells to tell them that we're here and that the drive over went fine?" Al asked quietly.

Roy just looked at him, feeling a bit disappointed that Al still seemed so scared to do something wrong around him. He made up his mind, hoping that it would gain some form of trust to not just see Roy as an officer. "Of course you can, Al... And please call me Roy... We're living together and I'm not..." Roy sighed. "Alphonse, I have a year's leave to get back on my feet. No going to the office, no paperwork, nothing. That means that this is a year where the only thing I am is Roy Mustang and after that, then you're hopefully still living here and..." Roy didn't even know how to finish that sentence without sounding downright creepy.

_Hopefully you're still living here and you, Ed and me are a bit of a messed up family of sorts._

You didn't say that to a kid that hardly knew you. Roy knew Ed because of everything. He knew Alphonse through what Ed had told him during the long days spent inside that hellish cage to keep their spirits up and remind them of what they were fighting for. But Alphonse still didn't know Roy. And Roy had a nasty feeling that he was little more than a stranger. A stranger that had spent three-and-a-half weeks getting tortured with his brother.

Alphonse seemed to get his meaning and nodded. "Okay ... Uh, Roy. Thanks, I'll try to be quick."

Roy took a deep breath. He had to tell Al just what this was about because he was beginning to realise that Alphonse might have misunderstood the situation. "Alphonse, please, take whatever time you need. Being with Ed isn't a burden to me. I know him and me had our differences before, but... Things have changed and I'm not doing this because I have to... I **_need_** him. I would never be comfortable not knowing how he was doing while he lived somewhere else." Roy took a deep breath, seeing that if anyone deserved to know it, it was Alphonse. "Al, to be honest, I wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for him. Had I been alone in that hellhole, I wouldn't have made it out. He gave me a reason to keep fighting and I don't do this because I feel guilty. I care deeply for him and I want to look after him. I'm not doing this because it is a last resort, so please... Please don't think of yourself as my guest," Roy told him. Roy needed human contact that didn't involve torture and anger. He couldn't imagine anything worse right now than to live with Alphonse tip-toeing around the house because thought him and Ed were a burden for Colonel Mustang. This had nothing to do with the being out of the goodness of his heart or guilt. After everything that had happened, he couldn't just be separated from Ed. He was happy to have him living in his house where he could protect him and care for him. And he knew how obsessive it sounded, but he honestly needed to relearn how to be around other people than Ed and his instincts to keep him safe and protected that had built up increasingly since their captivity began didn't just disappear in a few days. He might not feel like Ed's father per se, but Ed was his kid.

Alphonse nodded, apparently not knowing what to actually say to that. "I'll be back soon, then, Roy."

Roy gave him a weak smile. "If you want some privacy, feel free to use the phone in my room, Al, it's the second door on the right."

"Oh, thank you," Al said and then he left the room and Roy could soon hear the clanking footsteps as they made their way up the staircase.

Then Roy heard another set of footsteps, some much softer ones that he recognised easily, even if they were usually heavier due to the military boots. He looked up to see Riza making her way towards him with two steaming mugs in her hands and Roy could see that they did not seem to be coffee, judging by the whipped cream and the pieces of crushed chocolate sprinkled on top of it. "Cocoa, Roy," she said softly as she came over and sat down on the floor beside him, handing him a mug. Ed mewled from under his duvet, but didn't do anything else about her sudden presence.

Roy, however, took both mugs out of her hands and placed them on the floor and just pulled her into a hug. He had been so cut off from everything and everyone and that simple gesture built on the fact that she instinctively knew that Roy would much rather have cocoa than coffee right now just really brought it home to him that he was finally safe and finally home and just how much he had missed her. And right now she wasn't here as his spectacular subordinate, but his oldest friend. And damn it if he didn't feel like hugging her for being here.

And she didn't even question it because Roy didn't need to explain it. She just hugged him back as Roy closed his eyes, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Thank you, Riza." Roy marvelled in the feel of the hug. So different from that possessive, manipulative, disgusting way that Melanie had been hugging him mostly just to demonstrate that Roy was powerless to stop her. He found himself hugging Riza tighter just thinking about it. Just to let it sink in that he was never ever going back to that place. That wonderful, warm feeling of being safe. Safe and warm and for the first time in a long time, he was enjoying a hug that had nothing to do with either impending torture or not freezing to death. "Thank you, Riza... For bringing me home," Roy whispered, a tear going down his cheek.

* * *

"Hello, Winry, it's Al," Alphonse said into the phone carefully. "I just called to tell you that we're back in East City and ... and settled in."

"Is Ed doing any better?" Winry asked quietly. "Is he remembering anything else?"

"He seemed to remember parts of when Colonel Mustang came to Resembool and..." Al didn't really want to tell her that Brother now seemed to think that the Col ... Roy... was the one named "Edward". Winry had already cried a lot when Al told them about Brother's condition back at the hospital. He had spoken to the Rockbells twice then, so this made it the third time since the rescue. As much as he wanted to give the Rockbells all the information available, he had a hard time doing so because it made Ed's condition so much more real to him.

"And what, Al? What more?" Winry asked desperately. "Is there something more that's wrong?"

Al couldn't get himself to lie to her and if everything went well, then the Rockbells would be allowed to come visit them in just a few days anyways, depending on how Brother reacted to the house. That meant that they would most likely hear what Ed called Roy. "You know how Ed calls me "Bo-uh"? ...I think he's thinking that what I call him is my name... So now he seems to believe that the Colonel is "Eddah", judging by what happened earlier."

Winry gave a weak gasp. Al had a feeling that this might be what brought it home to her just how ...broken ... Brother's mind really was. "Oh, Ed... Al, I'm so... I'm so sorry." Al could hear the tears in her voice.

"Me too... I haven't asked the Colonel just what happened to them yet... I want to understand, but I just... I just need some time to get used to this ... first. And I don't want to force the Colonel to relive it right after he got out, you know?" Al said quietly.

"Of... of course, Al," Winry said softly, her voice strained by emotion. "Do you know... Do you know when we can come see you?"

"Hopefully in a few days. It really depends on how well Brother adjusts to the house." Al decided it was time to tell her something that he had avoided so far, but letting her find out through the first time she saw Brother was crueller. This way she could prepare herself a bit. "There's something more, Winry."

"What, Alphonse?" she asked, sounding scared, obviously having interpreted the tone of voice correctly.

"You don't have to bring the automail."

"I guessed so... The pain from reattaching it could be too much for him right now," Winry said.

"Winry... He's not getting it reattached ever... They ... They removed the ports and healed up the stumps..." Al said quietly.

Winry gasped and then she began crying loudly.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter thirty-one**

They sat there for a long time, not saying anything to each other, before Roy pulled out of the hug because of the sound of shifting duvets. He looked over to find Ed peeking out from under his duvet like a turtle inside its shell, mewling slightly as he was discovered. He was staring at them with fear, sniffing the air suspiciously.

Roy smiled at him gently, happy to see that he was past that "overload" phase that made him try to shut everyone and everything out by hiding under his duvets. Roy had been afraid that he'd spend hours under there like he had done when seeing the photo of Gregor. "Hi, Edward, are you feeling better?" Roy asked kindly, reaching out his index finger for him to take.

"Eddah," Ed said quietly and reached out cautiously to grab the proffered digit.

"He has learnt his name?" Riza asked gently, and Roy could hear a little hint of hopefulness in her voice.

"No... Not exactly... He calls those he seems to ... have a bond with, I guess, by the words he strongly associates with us calling him... So at the moment, I'm "Edward" and Alphonse is "Brother"," Roy told her, trying to keep his smile in place to not risk upsetting Edward, but he was having a hard time doing so.

"Bo-uh," Ed said. Roy was wondering just why Ed seemed to always need to repeat that word. He could be instinctively remembering the importance of his little brother, and felt a need to reaffirm the way it was important. It could be that he was trying to trigger some of his memories. Roy didn't know.

Riza reached out and squeezed Roy's free hand, offering some comfort.

Roy squeezed it back. He was eternally grateful for her being here with him through this. She hadn't even questioned it. She had already set up a home office in Roy's study.

He was home.

But Edward wasn't. That bitch had broken his mind and if her words were true, then he was never going to be the same ever again. She had broken one of the most brilliant minds in Amestrian history.

And now Ed was just staring at him, clutching his finger, and his eyes held torment that Roy knew was far greater than his own, no matter how much Roy hurt. No matter how much torment it brought him to see Ed like this. To remember all that had happened to his kid.

Because it only took one look at Ed's eyes to tell that the child was still in hell.

And Roy had a nasty feeling just what it was, based on what Ed screamed as the drug broke his mind.

""It's so noisy! Voices, thoughts, songs, words, they're all screaming!"" Roy quoted in barely more than a whisper, his chest tight as he looked into Ed's frightened eyes.

"Roy?" Riza asked quietly, worry evident. "What do you mean?"

"That's what he said. "My head! It's like it's on fire! Make it stop! Please!"" Roy continued quoting, his throat tightening. "Those were the last words he said while still able to recognise me."

"Roy..." Riza began, but for once, it seemed that she didn't know what to say other than that, but she began softly stroking the top of his hand with her thumb. Nothing suggestive, just a silent "I'm here for you."

"What if it never stopped?" Roy continued. "What if he's still trapped in that hellish whirlwind of never-ending noise? What if behind those eyes, his mind is screaming with uprooted fragments of memories that never settle and that is why he can't remember? It would explain why he is acting like he does. He's reverted to his most basic instincts while his mind is sometimes able to halfway place a memory because it is screaming at just the right time. He can hardly think because all his thoughts are based on memories that he only briefly registers before they are blocked by everything else," Roy began thinking hard, realisation hitting him. "We might be able to help with that. Riza, go over to the turntable and pull out the album that Maes brought two months ago," Roy said urgently. If Roy could release Ed from just a bit of what was torturing him, then it couldn't be done soon enough.

Riza was already on her feet. "The one with the children's songs?" She asked, slightly confused.

"Yes. If I'm right, then the simplicity and straightforwardness might just be able to break through and at least block out some of the constant noise in his head. Think about it, it's noise that he can use as a lifeline. And the way it sticks so damned easily to your mind might be just what he needs. Some sort of mental wall against the torrent."

_Please let me be right..._

If he was, then Roy would praise Maes for insisting that Roy kept that album for when Maes came to visit with his family. He would never again object that if Maes insisted that they'd listen to "Row, row, row your boat," then Maes could bring his own record. Hell, he'd buy Elicia a six-feet teddybear.

Roy sat there, tense, Ed staring at Riza with fright as he held Roy's finger just a bit tighter.

Then the music started playing and "Bah, bah, black sheep," began filling the room.

Ed froze. His body stiffened and he began sniffing the air. Roy began to realise that Ed was probably experiencing this as the first time he ever heard music. Roy was desperately hoping that Ed wasn't going to panic because of the new sounds.

As the song changed to "Twinkle, twinkle little star," Ed released his grip on Roy's finger and crawled out from under his duvet and threw a pillow at the sideboard that the turntable was placed on, making Roy afraid that this had been a very bad idea after all. Riza immediately moved to turn off the music, but then paused as Ed began dragging himself forwards over to the turntable, but paused midway, his face trained on Riza by the looks of it. Roy knew that Ed still wasn't entirely trustful of her, which was probably why he wasn't moving too close to her. "Riza, please move over to the couch," Roy said, looking at her to tell her that she wasn't doing anything wrong. They both knew that Ed was sceptical of her, probably because of something as simple as the fact that she was a woman. The only other woman that Ed seemed to remember was Melanie after all.

Riza nodded and moved away, walking in a wide circle away from Ed while Roy stood up in case Ed was about to attack the turntable to make it stop.

Ed looked back at him, fright in his face. "Eddah," he said as if asking for Roy's opinion on what to do next.

Roy smiled gently and spoke softly. "It's okay, Ed, just do what you want."

Ed looked at him for another minute, in time for the music to change once more, this time to "Itsy bitsy spider". Then he froze again, listening intently. He looked at Roy's still smiling face and turned back towards the turntable and over to his pillow. Roy was anxious about what would happen next. Ed seemed to mostly just look scared, so his expression wasn't anything to go by.

Ed threw his pillow once more at the sideboard and Roy moved forwards just to make sure that he would be able to stop Ed from hurting himself.

Then Ed reached his pillow and placed his head on it, curling in on himself, facing Roy. His toes were tucked in under his poncho and so were his fingers.

"Riza, I think he likes it," Roy said, relief and happiness filling his chest and he felt a genuine smile on his face.

And then Ed smiled back at him. Not much, but it was there and his features were softening just a bit, his fear seeming to dissipate just slightly.

Roy felt his legs shaking and he sat down before they gave out on him. He pulled his knees up to his chest and smiled brighter than he had done for a long, long time as he watched Ed. Roy could only watch in amazement and joy as the weight on his chest just became a bit less heavy at the sight of Ed lying there like that. It was clear: this was the closest Ed had been to peace of mind in two weeks.

Roy felt a tear building in the corner of his eye and he wiped it away so that Ed didn't misinterpret it. Roy was finally able to take away just a bit of Ed's pain, and that was all that mattered.

And if that meant having to constantly listen to some of the most annoying songs ever known to man, then so be it.

Because that look on Edward's face was making his lips tremble with emotions that Roy didn't even know how to describe.


	32. Chapter 32

**So, plot twist-time! And please, please, please leave a review (but no flames, they're so discouraging)**

* * *

**Chapter thirty-two**

At the fifth song, Ed suddenly reached out his hand for Roy, obviously wanting to grab his finger.

Roy was instantly crawling over to him, and, took a chance at lying down as Ed was most used to him sitting, and always when Roy was sleeping. Ed seemed to be scared when Roy was lying flat on his back, because the times when this version of Ed had seen that, Roy had been strapped down to a tarpaulin while Ed was screaming his head off from the unspeakable agony the drugs were causing him. Roy had to say that he found it a bit daunting himself. Lying on his back left him exposed and it reminded him more than a little of when he had nails hammered into his hands and feet to keep him completely still as he had his left kidney removed, his own screams mixing with Ed's. Roy shuddered inwardly as he lay back and let his head lie on the floor. However, the way his back was unused to lying like that by now, caused a pulsing ache to begin the second it hit the floor and he froze with a gasp. His breathing quickened and his chest constricted with fear and he stared about himself wildly, panting.

And he knew where he was, he knew that everything was safe, but his body was still on high alert. He couldn't get it to calm down because that little piece of pain was scaring him shitless. And he wanted to move, but every time he shifted just slightly, that pain pulsed more and left his body even more scared. "Get me up! Riza! Get me up!" Roy said, his heart hammering. His body wasn't listening. He told it to move, but it didn't and Roy could tell that it was actually because he didn't want it to. He wanted to do this, to defy those stupid instincts from the cage. But he was still afraid.

Then suddenly came a blur of golden and white and then Ed was lying across his chest, whimpering, facing Riza.

Roy froze, not because of pain, not because of fear, but because Ed was **shielding him**.

* * *

Ed was celebrating. He had tried to go with a hug, but he'd settle for this, even if his body was a complete idiot.

_Stop, dammit! Lieutenant Hawkeye isn't a threat!_

Of course, his body didn't give a damn. Ed had hated Melanie before this, but after that damn drug, he was disappointed that it wasn't his own fists that had snapped her neck.

Because she had explained what that thing had done. Roy hadn't heard her, but Ed sure had as she stuffed his mouth with dog food that first time after she injected him with that shit.

Because alkahestry was all about reading some unknown "dragon's pulse" and apparently she and Gregor had worked together on making torture drugs that followed that same principle. Meaning that what that shit had done was to create some giant reaction in his mind and somehow make it expel his soul, but still keep it in his body. And to do so, she'd just have to break his mind enough to trick it into doing exactly that. It was hardly keeping itself together and Ed couldn't actually latch onto it. He was being blocked. And Roy was right about that tormented mind part. That "nothing's sticking because everything is a fucking torrent and it's scary as fuck" part. Problem was that Roy thought that Ed's soul was inside that shit.

So now his fractured mind was seemingly too unstable times fucking infinity to actually allow Ed's soul back in. Not that Ed hadn't tried of course, but every time he tried to reach in to become one with it, it felt like he was being ripped apart and then flung back out again, which was weird, as his brain didn't register any of that pain. Ed was separated from his mind and his brain and now his soul was mostly just along for the ride.

Basically, his whole existence was weird and annoying as hell. Knowing that he was about to pee himself and being unable to do anything about it was one if the most annoying and embarrassing things in the world. And wearing diapers. And being wiped clean AFTER FUCKING POOPING IN THOSE DAMN THINGS.

But the worst part, the absolute worst part, was that Roy, and most importantly, Al thought he was gone. Like that scared shell of his former self was all that was left of him.

They should have thought that Melanie would never have let Ed off so easily. That bitch wanted Ed to suffer and she wanted Ed to know WHY. She had basically killed two birds with one stone, because Ed was stuck completely conscious in a world that thought he was gone, while Roy thought he was gone for good.

Ed did feel sort of sorry for his body of course. He couldn't feel the hell it was going through emotionally, nor mental pain, which was a relief of sorts. But that also meant that Ed was truly locked out of his own brain. He couldn't control shit. He was separate from himself, and he knew that the rest of him had no idea that he was even there.

No, Melanie had a fondness for psychological torture after all, so she wouldn't let Ed be trapped inside his own broken mind. No, that was much too kind for her puppy. Strokes on the cheeks included.

So Ed was basically a ghost. A ghost attached to his soulless body with the broken mind. And he had been working damn hard to get this far these past two weeks, and what did he have to show for it?

His body was lying on top of Roy's chest, trying to protect him from his bodyguard.

Then Roy started crying. Ed wanted to look at him, to give him a fucking hug, not lying across his chest like a protective dog whimpering as it begged for Roy not to be hurt.

...Oh, sorry: _**Eddah.**_

Then he realised as his eyes were still trained on Hawkeye that he hadn't done a single thing after all. He hadn't controlled one damn thing. Because this idiot was acting on pure instinct. And its instincts were pretty damn sure at the moment that Riza Hawkeye was going to hurt Roy.

It had had nothing to do with Ed wanting to hug Roy because Roy was almost having a panic attack because his back was obviously hurting.

And Ed had wanted to hug Roy for two weeks now, because his existence was fucking miserable and he still felt every single bit of the pain that his body did. Which meant that he had felt all that agony of that last week in the cage.

He wanted a hug. He wanted one so bad. He wanted to show everyone that he was all right. That he was still okay in there. At least mostly. Well, not really, seeing as how he was a soul barely attached to a crippled boy with a broken mind and he couldn't do shit to talk or show emotions.

_Come on, Roy! I'm right fucking here! Just put your arms around me and screw his screaming! Please! I don't want to be alone in here anymore!_

Roy didn't move. Of course he didn't. Because Ed's body was scared of all human contact that extended beyond gripping a finger and Roy thought that that was what Ed wanted.

Ed wanted his body back. He wanted his life back. He wanted to fucking cry.

And he wanted to get his mind back so that he could do what he needed to do to get Al back in his own body, because this was hell. Ed was trapped in fucking hell, but at least he could actually feel Roy's warmth. He could enjoy food. Well, he could taste it.

Al couldn't.

Right now, Ed was a detached soul. He was a detached soul that couldn't control the body he was in, but he could smell and feel and taste and sleep, but he couldn't tell anyone. Nobody knew but him and Gregor. And Ed betted that that bastard was going to be sitting in his cell, laughing at Ed's predicament until he was executed.

And Al was in a body he could control, but it didn't have any senses. It couldn't sleep. They were both trapped, but Ed had broken his promise to Al. He had broken his promise to everyone. And now he was just watching as it all happened and everyone were grieving him. And his body was just a frightened animal that liked children's songs while wearing a poncho.

He had failed Alphonse. And this could all mean that Al was going to be stuck in that body forever.

And Ed couldn't even cry about it.

Then came the telltale pressure behind and Ed groaned inwardly because his body was shitting itself again.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter thirty-three**

"Come on, Ed, let's get you cleaned up," Roy told him kindly, lifting him up in his arms. His eyes were still glistening with tears because to him, Ed trying to protect him instead of curling up and whimpering in a corner was progress.

Ed wasn't so sure. He didn't want to be in a body that was growing wary of Hawkeye because it thought that she was trying to steal his Eddah away from him. That was going to torture Roy even more in the long run.

Hawkeye had left the room so his body had retreated from Roy's chest with a shiver and a whimper because of the fact that he had just soiled himself. So now his body was screaming and flailing because he was being carried. Ed was seriously afraid that he'd hurt Roy again like he did when he broke his nose when he woke up like this two weeks ago.

It was a weird existence, this, because he sort of felt like a separate being from his own body and mind. He was like he was all thoughts and feelings and being a spectator more than a real being. After all, he didn't even have a body, really. At least his body thought so.

_Let's just call it Me._

And Me was too scared to even think most of the time. Ed could tell that it was still him, but with his mind broken and his soul expelled, Me was reduced to acting on his most basic instincts while frantically grasping at the small snippets of memories he could grab hold of to try to piece himself together. Me was in indescribable agony, but couldn't express it, which left Roy and everyone else thinking that Ed was broken too. And Ed felt sorry for Me. Me was nothing more than a terrified and crippled child who only knew pain, but didn't have a soul. And Ed wanted to help him. He wanted his body back. Because Me was suffering without his soul and his soul was suffering without his body. And Me wasn't even aware of it.

Ed remembered being torn out of his own mind. He had never ever known agony like that. And it scared him to think that that might have been the same thing that happened to Al when he bound his soul to the armour.

But no, that couldn't be right, because Al would have remembered that. But he wouldn't have told Ed about it, so maybe he had? Maybe Ed had caused him that same agony and Al didn't even mention it?

Ed was pulled sharply from his musings as he was placed on the bathroom floor and Roy opened his diapers. It smelled bad. Really bad. Me was just looking up at Roy, mewling as Roy set to work. It seemed that he had at least understood that diaper change meant that his diapers didn't literally smell like shit, so it was okay. Roy had also found a way to do this efficiently and with as little touch to Ed's skin as possible.

The wipes felt wrong. Those were really, really wrong. Ed didn't blame Roy, of course he didn't. After all, had Me been on his own...

...Then Me would have been dead.

Then Me was being locked inside a new diaper until the next time his body was being stupid.

Roy gave him an encouraging smile. "There you go, kiddo, back in business."

Me mewled.

Ed felt like he was being stabbed by the sadness in Roy's eyes.

Me was calming down and then he wasn't because Roy was lifting him again to carry him back downstairs.

_HUG HIM! JUST FUCKING HUG HIM! HE NEEDS IT! YOU NEED IT! I NEED IT! JUST STOP KICKING!_

There was no point. Ed was looking everywhere, Me's movements built on fear and discomfort and Roy was holding him tightly to stop him from hurting himself.

Then he was put down on the living room floor. "There, Edward," Roy said kindly as Me whimpered and dragged his way over to what Ed had heard Roy refer to as the safe corner, whimpering as always.

Then it was back under the duvets and turning around to peek out back at Roy. Hawkeye was gone from the room, at least he thought so, and Ed could only guess that Al was still in the library.

Ed had to say that he hated the sound of his own whimpers.

The damned music was still playing, and it seemed that it was calming Me down as soon as he heard it. "Eddah," he said, holding his hand out to Roy. Roy came over and held out his index finger as usual, and Me gripped it.

Roy was smiling kindly at him. "Better now?"

_Yeah, my butt isn't smeared with poop._

Roy looked about to check if they were alone, before he sighed. "It's not easy, is it? Being out? Just like that... Well, I hope you'll come to like living here..."

Ed felt horrible at the look on Roy's face.

_Roy, seriously! You're the only reason I'm not strapped to a bed in a mental institution! Of course I'm more than happy to be here! I owe you! _

"I'm sorry, Ed... I said I'd get you out... I promised we'd both get out... It should have been me... You didn't deserve this, Ed..."

_If it had been you, then we'd be dead, because I wouldn't have been able to look after you like you did me... If your body wouldn't have liked to be dressed in blankets, then it would probably have ended with you knocking me unconscious and then we'd have both frozen to death, so don't say that... And I'd like to argue that neither of us actually deserved that bitch..._

"Ed... I'm so sorry..." Roy began, a tear running down his face. "All those moments just sitting there, planning what to do when we got out... When I got **_you_** out..." More tears, more quivering lips. He needed to hug him. To tell him that he was still in here. "Ed... I failed you. I didn't hold up my promise..." Tears were streaming down his face. Me was sitting up and dragging himself over to him, before he began licking up Roy's tears. Ed really didn't want to know what that tasted like. It was a very sweet gesture from Roy's point of view, Ed was sure, but from Ed's it was just annoying and weird and personal and just messed up.

Roy just looked at him, his expression full of what Ed suddenly recognised as something that was in many ways daunting.

Love.

Roy hadn't been kidding when he said he cared about Ed. It wasn't some pedophile crap, because Roy had told him that he had basically been crushing on Hawkeye for years, but couldn't do anything about it without one of them having to resign.

No, this was Roy looking at him as though he was family.

And Ed wanted to hug him more than ever. He wanted to be safe. He wanted a fucking hug that didn't have anything to do with fighting against hypothermia. Because Ed cared about him too. Ed cared and he wanted him back. He wanted to talk with him. Be happy with him about being out of that hellhole. Just make Roy and Al hurt just a bit less.

Roy looked at him, his expression softening as he looked at Me who was back to whimpering, but still staring straight into Roy's eyes. "Edward, if you can still even trust me..." Roy began, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I promise you, I will never leave you. I'm going to do everything I can to get you better. I'm going to get through this year and I'll become your guardian and I will do what I can to get you out of the hell inside your head. I know you can't understand me. I know that you probably won't even remember me saying this... But I'm still going to uphold that. It's the least I can do. I owe you, kid."

Me whimpered, licking up another tear. Then Me decided to be stupid again, because Me wasn't too pleased with the salt taste of tears and could smell the sweet scent of the now tepid cocoa. So Me dragged his way over to the nearest mug and then licked at the whipped cream.

Okay, so maybe Me wasn't so stupid, because that was fucking heavenly. Ed didn't know cocoa could taste this good. Me was soon enough slurping into the mug, and Ed didn't care that it was tepid because this was so damn good no matter what and holy fuck if he didn't love it. Food, real food, and anything that wasn't water were miracles. They were absolute miracles and Ed was loving this and then drinking became hard because he needed to lick into the cup to make it work, but Me was getting scared because that was how you drank water inside the cage.

And Me was also too much of an idiot to proceed to the other mug ten centimetres to his left. Or maybe he was planning for that one to be Roy's? Ed hoped that Me was smart enough for that kind of thinking, even if it was stupid with the lack of information surrounding context. Because that meant that Me might be able to actually put himself together enough to let Ed back inside.

But for now, Me was whimpering over a mug of tepid cocoa.

Which was when Roy came to his rescue and gently took the mug into his hand, leading it up for Me to follow.

Me was of course sceptical and whimpered, but followed Roy's smile and lifted his head to get upright to drink it. Roy tilted it gently into his mouth. It was great to feel it running down his throat like that. Drinking like a human. It was liberating.

Then the mug was empty and Ed felt his disappointment grow. That was over too quickly. Much too quickly.

Me whimpered.

Roy smiled at him. "You can have the second one too," he said, and held up the mug to Ed's lips.

No, Me was adamant that that one belonged to Roy, because Me couldn't understand and remember that Roy actually didn't like cocoa when it was cold. Roy had told Ed while inside the playhouse. Had told him about growing up in his aunt's bar in Central and having the waitresses acting like his big sisters and doting on him and battling over giving him cocoa. But Roy liked it hot, because cold cocoa reminded him about that time when he was five and ran downstairs for his cocoa, only to trip and fall down, breaking his finger. And so the cocoa had become cold by the time he could drink it and so it only reminded him about being in pain. Giving him cold cocoa after being tortured was just being mean.

"Ed, please, you can have it," Roy told him as Me pushed the mug towards Roy. "I can see you want it. I can make more afterwards," Roy said kindly, pushing it back towards Ed. He had a smile saying "Edward, enjoy this for me".

Me didn't get it.

And Me was stupid and found sharing his small joys with his Eddah to be the most important thing in the world, despite his Eddah's displeasure because Me was right. And he was stubborn.

Which was why Me had shoved pizza at Roy while Roy was eating another slice when they were in the hospital. Ed had eaten pizza three times since getting out. And he wasn't complaining.

But Me was currently growing more confident now that he had to repay his Eddah for helping him drink the tepid cocoa, so now his Eddah had to drink himself, and with the music in the background, Me was more confident than he had ever been before.

And so Me pushed the mug at Roy with more force than necessary and it caused Roy to drop the mug, splashing tepid cocoa down his front. Then came the sound of the mug hitting the other one and they both broke into pieces.

Me yelped and dragged himself away, not looking at Roy as he slipped back under his duvet. Ed cursed inwardly. This might as well be another setback.

"Ed, don't be scared. It's not a problem."

Me turned around and looked out of his duvet, probably because of the lack of anger in Roy's voice.

Roy just smiled encouragingly and drew up a transmutation circle with a piece of chalk in his pocket. Ed suspected that he carried it around with him to be prepared for these kinds of incidents.

He had to say that it was almost funny how Me was fascinated by alchemy. Ed could tell that he loved seeing Roy do it because he found it to be the opposite of when Gregor used that damned alkahestry.

Ed loved watching it because he could see that it gave Roy a feeling of being in control and made him feel safe. It gave him confidence.

Roy just sat there, drawing up a transmutation circle, before placing the broken shards inside it and activating the transmutation. Me was awestruck and upon seeing that Roy was only smiling, he dragged himself back out of the duvets again and over to Roy. "Eddah," he stated, looking at Roy and then at the mugs. Then he reached out and lifted one of them in his hand before sniffing it.

Then he replaced it inside the circle. "See, Edward? Good as new," Roy said kindly. "And so is the other one," he added as Me reached out to touch it too.

Then Ed realised just before things went to hell that Me wasn't reaching for the second mug, but for the transmutation circle itself, meaning that Me was about to cause a rebound with the way his mental capacity was at the moment.

_YOU FUCKING IDIOT! _

Ed instinctively thought through the alchemical equations that were needed as the idiot touched the transmutation circle and decided to add something extra in case it actually worked.

There was blue lightning, and Ed was beginning to realise that he was in control, yet Me was screaming in terror, and Roy suddenly grabbed him around the middle and pulled him away, leaving Ed just enough time to end the transmutation, even if he could tell that he wasn't quite done.

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Roy looked down at Ed. Ed was screaming and terrified, but Roy needed to make sure that he was all right before he could let him go back to his safe corner, and so he pinned him down, hating himself for scaring him this way.

But Ed was looking all right. No bleeding, no injuries, just terrified screaming.

And so Roy got off of him and let him whimper as he dragged himself back under the duvets, staying hidden and squealing.

Roy was feeling like he wanted to throw up. Ed could have been killed by that. He could have been killed by a rebound and it would have been Roy's fault.

Then Roy began wondering just how it _hadn't_ rebounded.

He turned to the mugs and froze.

They had been transmuted together into a ceramic figurine. A crude, one-eyed, ceramic figurine with a ceramic plait and an antenna that was holding a banner with large letters spelling out "I'M STILL IN HERE, DAMMIT!"

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**And please, please, please leave reviews!**

**(But no flames)**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter thirty-four**

Roy was frozen. He could only stare at the newly transmuted object in front of him. How was this even possible?

Ed was whimpering under his duvets, and he had been terrified by the reaction. He had had no clue what was happening. He hadn't been in control.

So Ed, the part that had made this...

Roy didn't know what to think.

"ALPHONSE! COME QUICK!" was what his body came up with instead.

There were clanking footsteps running up the stairs from the basement. "Is Brother all right?! What's going on, Roy?!" Al was shouting as he slammed open the basement door. Then he came running into the living room.

"Bo-uh," came Ed's small voice.

"Ed transmuted this..." was all Roy said. He was still frozen in place.

"He transmuted something?! But that's dangerous, he could have caused a reb—" was all Al had time to say before he too saw the newly transmuted object. "Brother!"

"Bo-uh."

Al was on his hands and knees in front of the figurine. "How?! What's going on here, Roy?!"

"I don't know, Alphonse! He didn't even look like he knew what he was doing! He was terrified by the reaction!" Roy was short of breath. There was no question that it was Ed who had transmuted this, but there was also no doubt that Ed, the one under the duvets, had had no control over the transmutation.

"Then how? If you don't focus on what you're transmuting, then it won't work!" Al was growing frustrated, they both were.

Roy looked back at the ceramic banner, his mind practically buzzing with effort to try to figure this out. He felt sick as realisation hit him. "I'm still in here, dammit..." he whispered. "Does that mean that he is inside his body, but has no control over it?"

"But how is that possible? How can he transmute, but not have the mental capacity to even make conversation? There are advanced calculations to perform, everything!" Al exclaimed. Roy could hear that he would have been crying if he could.

"Al... I don't know. **_This_** is Ed..." Roy began, pointing at the figurine. "... But there is no Ed in those eyes. Like that drug stole away his spir—" Roy froze just as Al gasped.

"You don't think... His ... His **_soul_**?" Al asked, horror evident.

He looked over at Alphonse, his mind racing with horrible and sickening theories. "Alphonse... you're able to transmute despite not having a body... Or a physical brain at the moment... Doesn't that suggest that the ability to transmute lies within the soul?" Roy wasn't surprised that he was speaking in a whisper.

"So ... So what you're saying is that... Is that Brother's soul is somehow separated from his mind?"

"Bo-uh."

"Alphonse, I don't know..." Roy looked over at the whimpering pile of duvets. "We need to ask him. But he's terrified of transmuting now..." Roy didn't want to harm him. He didn't want to scare Ed. Because it seemed like Ed's body was still a being. Still a scared child. Roy was afraid of hurting him. But Ed was obviously in pain from this. If Ed was fully coherent and unable to control his body, then this was bad and whatever he did would hurt either his body or his soul if their theories were correct. But they couldn't help him if they didn't know what's what.

"Alphonse, stay here, I'll be right back," Roy said and got to his feet. His eyes immediately fell on Riza who was standing in the doorway looking pale. Roy went over and put a hand on her shoulder. "You heard everything?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Good, then go to the study, grab five sheets of paper and an ink bottle and meet me back here," Roy told her and then went off to the kitchen at the same time as she went in the direction of the study. Roy looked through the now childproofed cupboards until he found the box of sweets and desperately hoped his theory was sound as he picked out one of the many, large lollipops shaped like pacifiers that he had asked the others to buy for him.

Hopefully it would work to keep Ed satisfied enough not to scream.

He removed the plastic covering the lollipop and went back into the hallway to meet Riza, who had already returned with the desired objects. "Thank you," Roy said, taking them from her. Then he went back inside the living room, Riza waiting in the hallway so as not to scare Ed.

Roy sat down in front of the safe corner and pulled out his chalk. He drew up the transmutation circle on the floor, then put down the sheets of paper inside it and poured the ink on top of them. "Okay, Edward, here's what's going on, there are five sheets of paper and a lot of ink available for you to use. Please tell us what you can while I stuff your mouth with a pacifier lollipop."

If the situation hadn't been so dire, he would probably wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face at that.

But there was nothing funny about this.

Roy pulled the duvet off of Ed and Ed yelped, but Roy held out the lollipop right in front of his mouth. Ed sniffed the air, froze, and reached out his tongue to taste. Then he licked it, again and again and Roy put it in his mouth, Ed obviously too highly focused on the lollipop to think about much else. "Okay, Ed, I'm taking your hand, so I'll give you a look at the transmutation circle, but I'm not able to do it for long because you do have a tendency to look at me instead of what I'm doing. Please give us all the information you can as quickly as possible, because I don't..." Roy felt his voice give way to tears. "I don't want to feel like I'm hurting you anymore..."

Then Roy grabbed his wrist and turned him quickly sideways so that he got a look at the transmutation circle, already kicking and yelping, but his mouth stuffed and his broken mind not able to think of spitting out the pacifier.

Then Roy pressed the hand to the transmutation circle and Ed activated it. Ed was screaming into his pacifier and utterly terrified and Roy felt tears stream down his face, whispering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

It felt like days, but it was less than a minute in reality that it lasted, before the transmutation was ended and Roy released Ed's hand. Ed looked at him with hurt, mewling and yelping and looking like Roy had burned him. Roy gently pulled the duvet back over him, seeing Ed curling himself into a ball to make himself as small as possible, still whimpering loudly. "I'll make it up to you... I promise..." Roy said. He didn't care that Ed might not be in control of his body, as far as he was concerned, under the duvets was a child scared out of his wits and Roy felt horrible for causing it. He needed to take care of the child and he felt that he had taken advantage of him by doing this.

"Roy, there are words... A lot of them," Alphonse said, and Roy heard rustling papers. "It's Brother! It's really Brother!"

"Bo-uh, Bo-uh," came the muffled voice, barely inaudible because of the duvet and the pacifier.

Roy felt torn. He wanted to grab the papers right now, but at the same time, he had a lump in his stomach that stopped him from doing so. Because there was a scared child with a broken mind whose trust he had just broken.

He felt Al's large hand on his shoulder. "Roy, I know that right now you're bound to feel like you're choosing between us, which is why I've already told Al to wait, because you need to know that you need to get your priorities straight. That means that you should listen to me now and return your focus to this whimpering idiot when he's ready for it, otherwise you're wasting our time now and he'll be needing you later when you're too busy reading this. So read this with Al now, and return your focus to him afterwards," Al said. "That's what is says, Roy, so please come read this with me."

Roy sat there, frozen, the words feeling unreal to him. Then he whipped around with realisation that this was Ed speaking and he needed their help. Roy was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Al as they held the papers between them.

_Thanks, Al, that saves us some time. _

_...So, uhm... Hi again, I guess..._

_And yeah, you're pretty much right... That drug she gave me, it was made with alkahestry and it set off some major reaction that made my mind break so much that it rejected my soul... So right now, my body and whatever little's left of my mind aren't even aware that I'm here. So I'm not connected to my brain, mind or body and I'm really just a passenger... or a spectator, really... Can't control shit..._

_So, I'm calling him Me. And Me's me without a soul and with his mind broken... And yeah, Roy, you're right about that trapped in a hellish whirlpool stuff, but I'm not inside it. And I can't fix it either. And I can't get back inside there. See it as it being too broken to let me latch on. And I'm not in pain right now. Actually, I'm quite liking that lollipop, so buy more of those. And Me's getting a rug burn on his left stump, watch out for that._

_Roy, I want you to know that I would never ask you to kill me, and I am so, so sorry it may have seemed that way. I had already been expelled from my mind by that point. What was happening was that the remainders of my mind was being torn apart and my brain was going haywire and it was desperate and thought it was dying, I guess, so it just wanted it done quickly. And I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that._

_Al, I want you to answer me something. I need you to be completely honest. Please tell me: did it hurt you when I pulled your soul back and put it in the armour?_

"No, Brother. There wasn't any pain..." Al whispered, and Roy could hear that he was crying, if not physically. Roy had tears streaming down his cheeks himself and had had to wipe away some snot already with his hand. He felt an enormous weight lifted from his chest. Because if Ed had been in so much pain that he had willingly asked him to kill him, then...

Roy felt like throwing up at the thought.

"Bo-uh," came Ed's voice again.

_There are a few more things you need to know. Actually, I want you to PROMISE__ me: _**DON'T**_ go off to Xing or something to try to find a cure to put me back... Because you can't. Melanie told me. The mind is a delicate thing, and if you do anything more to it, it's going to kill me. Any further intrusion, and it will overload it completely and make it shut down for good. It's still so fucked up by all this that it's still kind of got a death wish. So keep an eye on Me so that he doesn't turn suicidal..._

_Also... There's another reason you shouldn't try to put me back in my mind right now... Because my mind's lost a lot of stuff that it can't retrieve... And I don't know if my soul will be enough to make up for that or not the way it is right now... But there is about two-thirds of my memories that are just gone from my mind... I think it was in order to protect itself or some shit, like "make it afraid of women so that you won't let Melanie get close" or something... But that also means that even though my soul still knows who they are, Me has forgotten Lieutenant Hawkeye, Teacher and the Rockbells... and Mom._

_I will try to find a way in here to fix that, to try to get back inside with my memories intact, but that means that I need some time. So please, just... just wait... Don't get impatient, and I know that that is hypocritical of me._

_So thank you for taking care of Me, and please keep doing so, because he needs you to help him get his mind back, and hopefully that means that I can get back inside once my mind's more functional. That is the best help you can give._

_And don't let people know about me. Don't tell the military. They'll probably turn me into some sort of test subject. Let the Rockbells know, and Hawkeye, Havoc, Breda, Falman and Fuery are also okay, and Hughes. But no one else. _

_And I want you two to look into alkahestry. Not for me, but for you, Al, because it could be a lead on getting your body back._

_And I hate to tell you this, but this can't happen often, or you'll lose Me's trust and I could get stuck like this forever. So once a fortnight should be safe. So I beg you to tell me how you're doing between these transmutations. And please read to me. Like stuff that's actually interesting. The children's songs are a good idea, because Me's an idiot and idiot songs seem to be his kind of thing, but as soon as possible, please advance to something less... less likely to make me go on a murderous rampage once I get back inside._

_I'm so sorry about this, Little Brother... I can't do anything to get you back right now, and you can't leave to search for clues without me probably ending up in a looney bin because Roy won't exactly seem like a good guardian if he lets a preteen go off on his own to travel the country and very likely take a trip to Xing. _

_I'm so sorry, Alphonse. So, so sorry. About everything. I should have taken better care of you and I should never have pulled you into performing human transmutation._

_So I'll talk to you again in two weeks, and until then, please keep taking care of Me, and thank you both so, so much for your help. I hope I can repay you someday soon. And take care of each other. I know you don't know Roy that much, Al, but he's a good man and I'm hoping that you're gonna get along, because he's... well, he's family by now. I know that that's something I would probably die before telling any of you, but Me's sending the wrong sort of signals every time you lift him up, so I figured you should know and that I should screw my pride just this once._

_And Roy, thank you so much for what you did for Me in the cage. And for me too. I don't know how many times you kept me from dying of hypothermia. And from going insane. And I don't blame you and I never will. Not for any of it._

_So, I think it's time to stop this transmutation because Me's energy's not up to much more and the connection's a bit off when it comes to transmutations, so remove the pacifier once he falls asleep because I won't put it past him to mysteriously choke on __it no matter how impossible it may seem._

_I miss you and I love you._

_And I'm so, so sorry for this._

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**And thank you so much for your reviews! They make me so happy and they inspire my writing tremendously, so please keep them coming!**

**(And no flames;))**


	35. Chapter 35

**Okay, so double warning time!**

**First of all: I posted a chapter yesterday within twenty-four hours of the last update, meaning that the front page doesn't register it as updated, even if it has been so, so if you've missed that one, go back now.**

**Secondly: Just in case it is for me like it is with some other users: I've changed one word in the last chapter, so if people get alerts about two updates, then this is the only new chapter. I realised that I had written "left knee" instead of "left stump" by accident, which I found too embarrassing to ignore, so that's the only change.**

**Other than that: please, please, please keep reviewing! They inspire me so greatly :)**

* * *

**Chapter thirty-five**

Al was dumbstruck. And he was hurt and angry and so many other emotions at the same time and he wanted to scream because Brother was trapped inside his own body. He was a soul incapable of controlling the body he was in. It acted without him and Al couldn't even begin to imagine how hard this must be for him.

Al was holding the last page in his hand, the one Brother had asked him not to show Roy in what was essentially the foreword with the order to read that particular part about prioritising aloud to Roy. Al didn't know what this last page said yet. Brother had told him to read it when he was alone. And Al would do anything and everything he could for his brother right now.

Then Al noticed that Roy was shaking with silent sobs next to him, and he put a hand gently on his shoulder. "Roy..." Al didn't even know how to finish. Everything had been turned on its head and now... Brother was **there.** He was right **THERE**.

And it would be _**TWO WEEKS**_ until the next time they could communicate **_WITH_** him, not _**AT**_ him. And Al was horrified. Because Brother didn't seem to care much about how awful this must be for him, because all he thought about was that Al wasn't going to get his body back as soon as they'd hoped.

But at least Al could control his body. And talk to people. And be seen and heard and everything and...

And at least he wasn't so **_lonely._** Big Brother had been alone in there for two weeks already without having anyone to talk to because he wasn't able to talk and they hadn't even known he was there. And he would probably have to stay like that for years... Maybe decades...

"It's not fair, dammit!" Al said, pressing his fists to the floor, even if he couldn't feel them. Brother had been forced out of his own mind and they couldn't do anything to fix it without risking to kill him. There weren't any shortcuts or solutions that could fix this quickly. And Brother was scared. It was clear. He was scared of permanently losing his memories of especially Mom and the Rockbells.

Al got to his feet. "Brother left me something he wanted me to read on my own, I'll be back soon," he said.

"Bo-uh."

It felt like his emotional range was exploding at that. He needed to be alone right now, and so he ran for the kitchen, banged the door shut and then he slammed his fist into the wall with a shout. It left a large hole in the drywall, but Al would fix it after he read what Brother had to say. He sat down on the floor, leaning against the broken wall and held up the sheet of paper in front of him.

_Al, I think it's time I picked up the courage to ask you this, but I didn't want to do so in front of Roy. _

_I'm the reason you lost your body. I'm the one who suggested we try to bring Mom back and I dragged you into it and I got you killed. And then I got your soul back and slammed it into that armour and you've been trapped inside that hell ever since. I'm the one who did this to you. And I am a shitty big brother for it. I failed you and now I've gone and trapped myself inside here so that getting your body back is even harder to achieve than ever before. I failed you and I failed Mom. And I failed to protect you. _

_So my question is this: do you hate me? _

_You have every reason to blame me for everything. And I won't blame you for it, not ever. If you can't forgive me, then that is all right. _

_Which is what makes me seem like such an ungrateful brat right now for asking you to do even more for me, but I need your help. Feel free to hate me all you want, you don't have to look after Me, but please, please look after Roy. He blames himself for everything that happened and now that you actually know that I'm in here, he's gonna blame himself even more. _

_I don't want you to know like this, and if you don't want to find out what happened just yet, then you just stop reading right now, you hear me?_

Al paused. He was absolutely shocked and numb and furious that Brother could even THINK that Al would hate him. And to have been scared of that for how long?

He would have to give him a piece of his mind afterwards, but if this was so important to him, then Al would finish reading this first. After all, Brother's body would probably start fearing him if he came in and started yelling at him before having calmed himself down. And it could be that Roy needed that talking to right away.

Al felt so conflicted. So angry. And scared. And disgusted. And trapped.

And _**useless**_.

Well, if he could help Brother, then he needed to. He needed to **_right now_**. Any way he could help, to stop being so useless, was the most important thing in the world right now.

_Al... I'm sorry, and I am grateful beyond words if you're reading this right now. And I am sorry for putting you through reading this._

_As you're already aware of, Melanie had a fondness for injections. And psychological torture. _

_And I want you to know right now that this wasn't Roy's fault, any of it! Don't let him try to convince you otherwise! _

_Anyways, it's basically the story of how I ended up like this, and Roy is blaming himself. _

_It was before the cage, day three since we were captured that Roy got drugged while I was sleeping. It was some sort of hallucinogen shit, but it made him think he was back in Ishbal... And he saw himself burning me and he attacked the other him, beating him and strangling him in his anger._

_...Problem was that the one he thought was himself, well, that was the real me. _

_Roy woke up and found himself with his hands around my neck and I wasn't breathing. He tried resuscitation, but apparently Melanie stabbed my chest with a needle instead and injected me with some other alkahestry-made drug and got me back after I was dead for six minutes._

Al paused. He was horrified. And he was angrier with Melanie than he had ever been. Brother had actually died. Al couldn't even imagine how it must have been for him, getting beaten up and then strangled like that.

Al found himself missing the ability to throw up.

_A few days later, after we were put in the cage, Melanie injected me with something similar, only that it lasted much longer. I spent about ten hours reliving that over and over again and it felt so real. So yeah, I tried to fight back, and if I hadn't been missing two limbs, then I would have caused a hell of a lot of damage._

_I'm not gonna go into detail about what happened for the next week, but we were stuck in a small playhouse in a rainstorm and with hardly any light, so that kind of messes with your head... Like a lot._

_Then came the ports and stuff which put me even more on edge..._

_And then the next day, Melanie came and made Roy pull out my nails before telling me that she was about to give him an extra strong dose of that hallucinogen she gave me... And I... Well, I panicked because I wasn't exactly in any shape to actually run around the cage and escape a grown man fighting for his life. And I didn't want to put Roy through that. I couldn't do that to him. I would never want to let him go through that, even if it had somehow been without me there. Because that drug is hell and you... You don't get completely back to normal after the shit it makes you go through. I try to put on a strong mask and shit right now, but it's... Al, I'm not ever gonna be the same after that, even if I return to my body with all my memories intact, there's gonna be... Alphonse, I'm scared. My memories are telling me that you all hate me, and for those eight days I jumped at loud noises and will do so countless of me being in control of my body or not.__ I am afraid of getting a paper cut, for fuck's sake! I'm so fucking afraid, but my soul is too disconnected from my body at the moment to feel it, which is the only good thing here. I don't think I can ever be the strong and fearless Big Brother you once knew once I'm back._

_So, yeah... I attacked her and shouted at her and called her the thing she hates most to piss her off enough to stop her from hurting Roy. _

_And I don't blame him. It wasn't his fault. I know it might seem like it, but it was my choice, even if I knew that it meant that I would get something even worse. I need you to understand, Al, that I did it out of selfishness. Yes, I was scared of him hurting me and I was scared of watching him go through that shit, but the main reason was so selfish. And I want you to tell him that, because I'm not sure he would believe me if I told him myself, but you understand me better than anyone else. So please convince him for me that it was so that I could keep him. Keep him strong and like himself. Because I couldn't stand the thought of him being too scared to hug me._

_I know that it's a lot to ask, and I'm sorry. If you can't get yourself to do it, then show this to Lieutenant Hawkeye and Mister Hughes. They know him, they might be able to set him straight. Just make sure that somebody stops__ him from blaming himself for my selfishness. _

_No matter what, Al, I love you, even if you can't get yourself to love me back after all this._

_I'm so sorry... So sorry. And don't let me hold you back anymore. Please._


	36. Chapter 36

**So, just as a head's up, I rewrote chapter five because it was bugging me how detached the original was, so it's got another 700 words or so, although the plot is still the same.**

**And as always: Keep the reviews coming, they mean the world to me! :D**

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**Chapter thirty-six**

"What the hell do you mean the interrogation was brought to a halt because of an explosion?!" Maes said sharply into the phone. He was currently at East HQ, drowning in paperwork. Maes had been taken out of the main investigation unit because he was too close emotionally to the victims. He understood the decision and he was frankly in favour of it because he might just snap if he was put before one of the people that did this to Roy and Ed. And he doubted he could look at someone's gloating face as they described the things they had done to his best friend and a twelve-year-old child.

And the town of Maehle had been turned into a graveyard. Four days after the military had moved in to oppress the remaining inhabitants, the order had come through that all of the inhabitants had been found guilty of the unlawful imprisonment and torture of State Alchemists Colonel Roy Mustang and Edward Elric.

Which, by Amestrian law, was a crime that was punishable by death.

And so a total of three thousand four hundred and twenty-seven people had been killed. Including innocent children.

Maes was not pleased. He was angry and it was Ishbal all over again. But it seemed that the higher-ups had decided to go with the easy option instead of putting all those people on trial and trying to sidle out the guilty from the innocent. No, they had just stopped the uprising by slaughtering everyone to save as much time as possible.

This was a messy business and the military wanted it cleaned up quickly. That meant that the total one hundred and seventy-five people that had been arrested had been interrogated and faced a firing squad this morning. All but two: Mayor Roderick Clayden and the Ishbalan who refused to tell them his surname. After all, they had been involved with this from the beginning and they still had a lot of questions to answer before they too were inevitably shot.

Except for the fact that the newly promoted Second Lieutenant Ross was currently informing him that the voice recorder in the interrogation room had somehow overheated and exploded, killing the interrogator and Gregor.

"How the hell is that even possible?!" Maes demanded.

"We're looking into it now, sir."

"Tell me everything you can as soon as you can, Lieutenant!" Maes said, his impatience growing. He wasn't angry with Lieutenant Ross, of course he wasn't. After all, she had been the one to shoot Melanie Ida Clayden in the back and save Ed from having his neck snapped. It was just this entire damn situation. It was the look in Roy's face. It was the terrified child Roy was looking after. It was the fact that Roy had told him how a hallucinogen had made him kill Ed.

It was the confession Roy had made that he couldn't stand wearing shirts right now because that was what he had been wearing when he had killed Ed. The way that wool would give him goosebumps and he had told Maes to send everything he owned made of wool to charity.

Which was going to be a problem once Roy returned to work. After all, the Amestrian military uniform was made of it.

"Yes, sir!" Lieutenant Ross said and Maes hung up the phone.

He looked over at the picture on his desk of his family. It was from when Elicia was born and Maes was sitting next to Gracia with his arms around her and their newborn daughter. It made him think back to a set of three different people in a hospital. Alphonse kneeling on the floor, Roy sitting in the hospital bed with Ed lying with his head on Roy's thigh, gripping his index finger and looking up at Maes in sheer terror. This wasn't how a family should start.

And Maes felt guilty for not solving it sooner. For not being there in time to stop Ed from having his mind broken.

The phone rang and Maes picked it up.

"Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes speaking."

"Colonel Mustang is calling from an outside line, sir, do you accept the call?"

"Yes, of course I do!" Roy had just got home, Maes wasn't expecting him to call this soon, so that could very well mean that Roy had some sort of problem. There was the telltale click and Maes spoke immediately, none of his usual cheerfulness. "Roy! Is something wrong?!"

"Maes, come here as soon as you can, I can't tell you over the phone," Roy said, and Maes heard his voice was heavy with tears.

Maes felt his stomach clench. That almost made it sound like Ed had died or similar. "Roy?! Is Ed all right?!"

"He's the same as before! Now just come!"

It was thirty minutes later that Maes rang the doorbell, finding himself standing in front of Lieutenant Hawkeye who actually looked like she had been crying. That did not bode well. "Hawkeye? What's going on here?!" Maes asked urgently.

"Roy will tell you, he's in the living room with Ed and Alphonse."

Maes did not need telling twice and strode into the house without even taking off his boots.

He heard highly familiar music coming from the living room and was highly curious as to just why Roy was playing the album Maes had brought him. Then he found his best friend sitting on the floor next to the pile of duvets hiding Ed except for the hand poking out, gripping Roy's finger. Soft snores were emerging from the hidden child. Roy was looking up at Maes with bloodshot eyes, his face puffy and red as well as his nose, and what looked like four sheets of paper were clenched tightly in his left hand. "The others are coming soon, have a seat, Maes," Roy said, and Maes could see some ceramic object with a plait and an antenna that Maes guessed was supposed to be Ed, but he could only see its back and it was holding something over its head.

Maes found it odd. Why would Roy transmute such a crude object? And the transmutation was a lot sloppier than Maes had ever seen him do before. "Roy, why did you transmute that?" Maes asked worriedly.

Roy looked down at the object. "I didn't, Maes." He took it in his free hand and handed it to Maes. "It was Ed."

* * *

"What's going on, Boss?" Havoc asked the second he came into the living room. He was the last one to arrive. Roy looked up at the rest of the team and Maes from where he was still sitting on the floor. Alphonse too was sitting on the floor and the others had taken their seats on the two couches, looking down at them with worried looks.

"Ed's alive," Roy said. His brain didn't seem to be working. He had told Maes to wait for the others because he wasn't sure how many times he could repeat it before he broke down in sobs.

"Yes, we know that, Boss..." Havoc said, looking worried.

In answer, Roy threw the figurine at him. "Ed transmuted that. I thought he was about to cause a rebound so I pulled him away, which is why it's unfinished."

"Shit, what's going on here?!" Havoc exclaimed, passing it to Breda who also looked like he'd been burned by it. Falman lost some of his usual composure, his face tightening and his lips quivering just slightly. Fuery gasped. "How is this possible, sir?"

"Me and Alphonse made some theories and decided to speak to Ed further, making him transmute this," Roy said, holding up the crumpled sheets of paper. Then Roy took a deep breath and began to read. "And yeah, you're pretty much right... That drug she gave me, it was made with alkahestry and it set off some major reaction that made my mind break so much that it rejected my soul... So right now, my body and whatever little's left of my mind aren't even aware that I'm here. So I'm not connected to my brain, mind or body and I'm really just a passenger... or a spectator, really... Can't control shit..." Roy read, feeling his chest constrict and he had to take a few steadying breaths to get himself to continue. "So, I'm calling him Me. And Me's me without a soul and with his mind broken... And yeah, Roy, you're right about that trapped in a hellish whirlpool stuff, but I'm not inside it. And I can't fix it either. And I can't get back inside there. See it as it being too broken to let me latch on," Roy finished, looking up at his team and Maes who were all pale and Fuery had tears going down his cheeks just like Maes. Everyone were looking sick.

"He's a _**soul?**" _Havoc asked, pale and obviously confused. "How the hell is that even possible?! You can't separate a soul from someone's body, can you? And I thought you alchemists had to make all these calculations and those have to be done by the brain, don't they?" he asked, his mind obviously in denial.

"Roy, he does have a point there, doesn't he?" Maes asked.

"Actually, we have proof that it is perfectly possible to transmute while only having a soul," Al said, and Roy froze. They had not planned this, and yet Alphonse was lifting off his helmet to show them his empty armour. He put down his helmet on the floor and pointed at the blood seal. "This is the only thing that keeps me tied to this world. I'm nothing more than a soul bound to a suit of armour."

Everyone had frozen. What little colour there had been left in their faces had gone. "Why does it look like it's drawn with blood?" Fuery asked in a small voice.

"Because that is what it is. When Roy found us in Resembool it had been a few days since we tried human transmutation. Brother lost his leg and I lost my entire body, and then he gave up his right arm as payment for bringing back my soul. It was why he joined the military. To find a way to get our bodies back." Alphonse paused for a second. "So now we have help get him back."

Roy noticed how Al's hands were shaking.

His own were too for that part.

"How can we help?" Maes, Havoc, Fuery, Breda and Falman all asked at the same time.

Well, that was it for Roy and tears began streaming down his cheeks. "We need to help him put his mind back so that it doesn't reject his soul," Al said, seeing that Roy was in no condition to speak as he replaced his head. "There aren't any shortcuts in this, because any sort of interference, either from alkahestry or alchemy, are likely to overload his mind and kill him because it has been meddled with so much already. Which means that we have to reteach him how things work. It's why the music's playing. It's blocking some of the noise in his head and letting him relax. Hopefully it will work the same way as it does with... with toddlers." Al's voice broke slightly at that.

"It will probably take years, but we're going to get him back," Riza suddenly said from the doorway, giving them a look saying that she'd got this. "In the meantime, you are not to speak of this to anybody else. You do not talk about it on military grounds. If the military knew about either Alphonse or Ed, they would reduce them to lab samples. Ed would probably also be dragged off to be used as a different kind of weapon as all you have to do is hold his hand to an array and force him to perform alchemy while he is unable to fight back, and the people interested in doing so would most likely do it while threatening him with Alphonse. So you are not to tell anyone else, not even Major Armstrong, because even if he may be trustworthy, Ed doesn't know him and he does not need the stress of that hanging over his shoulders."

"So there isn't anything we can do?" Fuery asked miserably.

Roy spoke up. "Find anything you can on alkahestry. Ed's greatest wish right now is the one he needs the most help with, namely getting Al his body back, which is also the one we can do least with as long as we're here and don't have the required resources."

"Yes, sir!" Havoc, Breda, Fuery and Falman all said, saluting, and then Roy noticed that Maes was too.

It made his chest fill with hope and constrict with pain at the same time at the thought that there should have been a small boy with fiery, golden eyes and a red coat sitting there too.


	37. Chapter 37

**So, I've been planning this ever since February, so I hope you readers approve of the events in this chapter! (Well, approve isn't exactly the right word, but basically, I hope you enjoy the OC!**

**And please, please, please leave reviews, but, as always, no flames!**

* * *

**Chapter thirty-seven**

Olivier had seen and heard a lot of things. She had seen many criminals trying, and failing to cross the border before. She had seen people who were experimented on, had had bombs surgically added to their insides, or even had a couple of extra automail limbs attached to their bodies, no matter how dysfunctional they had been. Those were hardly news and frankly disappointing.

But upon receiving word that one of the torturers from Maehle who had been reported to have had her neck snapped by Colonel Mustang himself as well as having been shot in the back, had turned up out of the blue attempting to cross the border, Olivier had to admit she had been intrigued.

Especially as the woman's water had reportedly broken inside the truck that had taken her to the fort for interrogation.

And so Olivier was now standing in the infirmary, looking at the panting and laughing madwoman who had been reported dead without any hint of pregnancy a week ago. The woman was frostbitten and her head was tilted to the side slightly, most of her strength gone, but she was still laughing. "You are Melanie Clayden, correct?" Olivier demanded of her. "The one who tortured the two State Alchemists for twenty-four days, and who was confirmed dead a week ago?"

"Tell me, how are my doggies doing? They'll be so surprised by this, they were all asleep!" she said, laughing.

"I am the one asking questions here, so I suggest you answer them," Olivier said threateningly, not even needing to raise her voice as she glared at her. "How did you survive?"

"Oh, that's easy, you know... Although I suspect they all hushed up all that experimented on by the military part... I'll tell you all you want to know, it's such a ghastly story, I bet you'll love it," she said, smiling and licking her lips, straining as her contractions began. "It all began eleven years ago... Back when I was a sweet and innocent, young woman, just after my twenty-first birthday. I was in an accident and declared dead, but in reality, I was taken by the military to be a lab animal, quite literally. Tell me, Major General Olivier Mira Armstrong, have you ever heard of a chimera?"

Olivier kept her face unreadable, but inwardly, she felt a little gasp, not that anyone would ever know that. "I am not surprised, considering your healing abilities," was all she said. "Now keep going or you'll find your frostbitten fingers in need of an amputation," she growled. If the woman lost coherency as her contractions sped up, then this would take a lot longer than Olivier wanted.

The woman laughed again. "You know how to torture people then! How fun! But you see, I'm not interested in that right now, I'm too excited to see all your funny little faces." She looked excitedly around the room, landing her eyes on Major Miles, Captain Buccaneer and the doctor one by one. Olivier had only requested the presence of those three. Miles because of his Ishbalan heritage in relation to the town of Maehle and Captain Buccaneer because he had been the one to find this woman. Both soldiers were able to give Olivier advice on the situation should she need it. The doctor was here because someone needed to deliver the baby. Olivier was beginning to lose her patience, but the madwoman wisely opened her mouth again. "You see, I was merged, although not quite perfectly, with a cat. It gives my body a kind of boost in a way, when it comes to survival. That, and the other things those nasty little scientists did to me. You see, they were highly interested in creating supersoldiers, and with my, by then, catlike agility and heightened sensitivity and strength, they decided that I was a very nice candidate, especially because of my age." More contractions together with a groan. "I don't know what half those surgeries were, only that there were dozens of them as well as a lot of syringes and samples and exciting little serums in all the colours of the rainbow!" More laughter. "The foetuses are absorbing information, learning all these military strategies and things, feeding off my brainwaves from the moment they are conceived. She's aware of our entire conversation, my little Ida." Olivier watched as the madwoman's stomach shook slightly. "There you go again, Ida, kicking... that's not nice of you," she said, looking down at her stomach disapprovingly, before laughing as she had another round of contractions.

Olivier had to admit that she was a little lost for words. "Keep going!" she ordered, glaring.

"Fine... So there I was, strapped to a table, continuously producing babies, all these tubes and instruments beeping, monitoring my progress, the babies coming and going, the scientists and soldiers hardly able to keep their hands off me, which was the point. They would inject the foetuses mid-term with things to make them even more stronger, more of the perfect soldier. And I tell you, I was perfect with those cat genes, because it really cut down the pregnancy quite a bit. And with the alterations to my metabolism, they managed to shorten the pregnancy to just nine days, now isn't that an amazing feat? What magnificent things science can do for us..." She laughed again before groaning at yet another round of contractions. "Little Ida here's my twenty-eighth. I can't wait to see what she'll look like... And she'll grow so quickly, you know... she'll reach six during the first hour of her life, before her growth becomes normal."

Olivier had no time for being surprised. "So who is the father?"

It seemed, however, that the time was up, because that was when she shrieked and started crying as she began pushing per the doctor's orders.

Olivier just stared at the madwoman for the next five minutes until the baby was out, Major Miles assisting the doctor on the delivery.

As soon as the matter of the umbilical cord was over and done with, Miles was told to give the newborn girl a bath. The baby did not cry, just stayed silent, frowning.

"Now, Ida Clayden, you be a good girl for Mummy!" the madwoman laughed, blowing the newborn a kiss as the baby was wrapped up in a blanket to be taken away so that they could decide what to do with her without listening to that woman, already looking about two months old.

Olivier had to say that she was surprised as the child suddenly snapped open her eyes, revealing startlingly fiery orbs of gold as she dug her right hand out of the blanket and gave her mother the finger. "FUCK YOU, BITCH! I'M AN ELRIC!" she shouted in an otherwise sweet and childlike voice.

* * *

"So Ida, is it?" the dark skinned man asked her, walking through what she assumed was a corridor.

"No way in hell!" she protested. "Now which one are you, Captain Buccaneer or Major Miles?" She was frankly curious. That woman had been feeding her all that fucked up crap for over a week now, and she had yet to experience the world. That bitch had been a mess, all sweaty and shit, and she had been able to tell that she was going to die from this. That bitch had used up the last of her strength on this, and she wasn't complaining that the bitch was going to be dead in a matter of minutes.

She tried to look at the man holding her's eyes, but they were covered in some weird sunglasses.

"It's Major Miles," he said in a low voice, it was a pretty cool one. Pretty bad ass. "And what do you prefer we call you, then?"

"I don't have a name, but my Dad's an Elric, so we need to let him decide my first name. Until then, I can be X Elric."

"I do not advice you to use your surname around here until Major General Armstrong has cleared it."

X nodded. "Oh, I see, so it's to protect me until... Oh." X felt a horrible sense of dread. "Oh, please don't tell me you're gonna use me as a soldier! Don't I have rights and stuff? I should have that! I'm a free being, even if I am a bit weird and messed up!"

"That is for General Armstrong to decide," he said unreadably, which made X thoroughly scared and annoyed as she was carried into what X assumed was an office. It looked like the descriptions that were stuffed into her head.

"So, is she gonna come here and decide my fate soon, then?" X asked nervously. "I deserve an answer at the very least! And I'm pretty sure you're breaking the law if you keep me here to make me a soldier, just so you know!"

"Are you hungry or something?" Miles asked instead. "You seem to be nearing four months, doesn't that mean that you need to be fed?" He shifted his hold on her to loosen the blanket because of her steady growth.

"I want to wait for another twenty minutes or so, that way I can have fries," X decided. She had heard about fries and she'd love them to be the first thing she ate.

Miles was cut short in his answer as General Armstrong and the HUGE bloke with the automail arm that was Captain Buccaneer came into the room.

"Are you gonna brainwash me?" X asked in a small voice, seeing the uninviting look upon the face of the two strangers as her heart sank in her chest.


	38. Chapter 38

**So, extra long chapter that should have been two separate ones, but the first half was done twenty hours since the last one was published, meaning that it wouldn't have shown as having been updated, so I wrote another two thousand words on Al and Roy while waiting. So unusually long chapter and please, please, please keep reviewing (I usually just get one or two) and as always: please no flames ;)**

* * *

**Chapter thirty-eight**

X was terrified. General Armstrong looked like she ate babies for breakfast, and she wouldn't put it past Buccaneer to do so too.

So it was a bad time to be a baby.

"So is it true that you have military tactics stored inside your head? Or was your mother lying about that?" General Armstrong asked, leaving no room for not answering her truthfully.

"Y-yes! But you have no right to make me into a soldier! I didn't enlist and I'm a free being! Basic human rights and ..." X tried desperately to make good arguments for her to be brought safely to her Dad instead of being brainwashed by the General. "And my Dad should have a say in it too! Or... Or Dad can't, but I have an uncle! You need to ask him!"

_Please stop being so terrifying! Can't you three smile?!_

"You could be a strong asset for the soldiers of Briggs..." the General said, looking at her sternly and ponderously and X felt like crying at the fate she was about to receive. "However, you do have a valid point. You are technically a civilian and very much a child. With a known father and a family to take you in, you are not the property of the State. Besides, keeping you here would no doubt mean that your presence will be known to the military, and although I may torture enemies of the State for information, I do not approve of human experimentation and certainly not what they did to your mother."

X let out the breath she had been keeping in relief, and mumbled quietly "she's not my mother."

That seemed to have been a bad idea. "You will speak loud and clear when you address me!" the General said loudly, her eyes dangerous and silently seeming to tell her that she did indeed eat babies for breakfast.

X panicked and shut her eyes. "SHE'S NOT MY MOTHER BECAUSE SHE'S A FUCKED UP BREEDING MACHINE THAT RAPED MY DAD AND PLEASE DON'T CALL ME IDA OR EAT ME, GENERAL ARMSTRONG!"

There was silence.

"Buccaneer, Miles! I'll leave you two to look after the girl, General Hakuro will be arriving in fifteen minutes, so I'll be completing my interrogation after the meeting. Do not let anyone see her until then!"

"Yes, sir!" the two soldiers said before the door was slammed shut.

X was shivering with fear. Interrogation could mean torture and she didn't want to experience that, she had heard more than enough of that to know she didn't want to find out for herself. And that bitch had stored all these nasty things you could do to a human being inside X's brain and she did not want to know what those felt like. Not at all.

"You think she'll eat you?" came the surprised voice of Buccaneer.

X opened her eyes slowly to look up at the two soldiers. Buccaneer was looking at her with curiosity.

"She looks like she eats babies for breakfast, I AM a baby! That's not promising!" X insisted.

Miles began chuckling at that. "I guess not. Well, I can tell you with a high level of certainty that General Armstrong is in fact not a cannibal."

"She looks like one! She looks like she eats pinkies after dipping them in sweet chilli sauce and calls it snacks!" X said.

"Are you actually serious?" Buccaneer asked.

X decided not to step into too dangerous territory as she was getting dangerously close to insulting their boss, whom they seemed to like.

"So... What do I look like? I'd like to know." X had already noticed, much to her disgust, that her steadily growing hair was the same shade of brown as that bitch's. She hoped that that would be all, though. She hated that woman so intensely, and if she looked like her, then that would mean that Dad would be absolutely terrified by how she looked. That bitch had fucking broken his mind and expelled his soul, and the only ones who knew it had been the bitch, Gregor, the Mayor and Dad. And X because she had been inside there and listened to the bitch talking.

People kept wondering about just what was the purpose and the meaning of life. X had been **made** with a purpose.

It was to torture her Dad and Roy Mustang. And the bitch had been trying to brainwash her to prepare her to do all that messed up shit. All this stuff about how to make torture look like accidents. Like poking out one of their eyes when trying to get a hug, all that shit. Well, X wasn't gonna do it in a million years. And no matter how fucked up it all was, the one thing that had kept her moral compass mostly intact had been the screams. The way her Dad would scream, it wasn't right. It wasn't right when he was just a kid and he made those noises. Nobody should ever sound like that, and X would be damned if she let the bitch rape a good man just to make X so that he could scream a bit more. After all, Dad had been defenceless, he couldn't fight back, and it had made her tummy twist. And then came Roy's speaking, which had really brought it home to her, as he kept offering to take her Dad's place. To take the pain for him. That sounded a hell of a lot kinder and more like those human rights that the bitch had accidentally put inside her head.

In X's opinion, Roy Mustang was her moral compass and her Dad was the grand prize for being stuck in that godawful womb for nine days.

Miles shifted her on his lap. X followed the outstretched hand with her eyes as it made its way towards what she assumed was a desk. "That's a drawer, right?"

"Yes. So you know how things work and the name of the objects, but you don't know what they look like?" Miles asked as he opened the drawer.

"Yeah. So what are you looking for?"

"I am looking for a mirror so that you can see for yourself."

"Ooh, nice! You wouldn't happen to have like a missing poster or something with a picture of my Dad too?"

"There should be in one of the offices, there was some worry that they had been taken by Drachman operatives due to being so close to the North. Captain Buccaneer, go look for it, with full discretion." Miles looked down at X. "And bring some fries from the cafeteria, extra salt included."

"Yes, sir!" Buccaneer said and closed the door.

X gave Miles a smile.

It was not returned, but she didn't expect it to be so either, even if she had made him chuckle earlier.

Then Miles found the little mirror in the desk and held it out for her to take. X did and began studying her features. So far it looked like the only problem was her hair colour, but she had the coolest eyes ever. Her eyebrows were light brown, and she had a pointy thing sticking out of her hair on the middle of her head where her fringe began. She had a gut feeling that that belonged to her Dad. Her face was round and sweet and her skin wasn't as pale as that bitch. So now she just had to wait to see what her Dad looked like and hope she had inherited her eyes and the point from him, because those were pretty awesome, but only if they were his.

And, speaking of eyes: "Major Miles, your eyes are red, aren't they? That's why you wear the sunglasses. You're Ishbalan. You already have dark skin and white hair, so I'm guessing your eyes are red."

His eyebrows shot up a bit at that. "You are the first one to actually dare to ask that. And yes, my eyes are red, but I am not a true Ishbalan, though my grandfather were. His blood runs strong in my veins, but a my father and grandmother were a different race."

X looked at him, deciding on what to say. "I'm sorry about your people. That wasn't right. But I don't agree with what they did to my Dad and Roy. So if you think that they deserved what they got, then I will slap you," X said matter-of-factly, with a bit of a squint to show him that she wasn't kidding.

Miles looked at her.

Then he chuckled again. "I'm used to a lot more pity and guilt than what I get from you, little girl."

"I'm not little. I'm a baby. Would you really want me to be the same height as you?" X asked quickly, glaring a bit because he didn't seem to be one that would lose his temper with her.

She liked Miles. He was pretty cool. And he didn't look like he wanted to eat her. That was a big plus. And if he liked her, then maybe he could convince the General not to go from interrogation to **_advanced_** interrogation.

"I guess not. So if you won't mind me asking, just what do you think about Ishbalans?"

X thought about it, then made up her mind. "Racism is a shitty human feature."

His eyebrows rose with approval. "I suppose that is one way to put it. I have to say, your choice of words are a bit... unbefitting of someone your age."

X just stared at him. "Are you talking about my swearing?"

"Yes. And I do not advise you to do so when speaking to the General."

"Maybe not, but I think I have every right to swear all I want to, just for the record."

"And why is that?"

X looked him straight in the eyes. "Because unlike you, I actually know what it's like to be inside a womb. And being **_born."_**

"I see your point."

"Good. Now can I just say that this place is freezing? How do you people work here like all the time?" X said. She hadn't dared ask before because she was just a bit afraid that they would call her a coward and tell her that she needed to toughen up, but Miles might just be nice enough to give her a spare blanket. She let her teeth chatter like they had been wanting to do for the last two minutes or so just to show him that she was serious.

"I guess it is a bad thing to be born in the place where the most hardened soldiers live and where we also have just about zero equipment for this sort of thing."

X rolled her eyes. "Which means that when we're stuck here and not allowed to move from this room, then your coat better be large enough for me too."

Miles sighed slightly and brought her up closer to his chest while zipping the coat shut over them. X had to admit it was cosy and she liked the snug feeling. She was only a baby, it couldn't be helped. "Thanks, Miles."

"It's basic survival rules for the cold. And you are more at risk of hypothermia because of your age."

X looked up, but couldn't really see much more than some light and Miles's chin.

"You know she's dead by now, the bitch?" X asked. "She used the last of her strength on this."

"You don't seem particularly sorry about that."

"Neither do you. And she was a torturing bitch who tried to teach me how to torture my Dad, so I pretty much hate her. And she tried to name me after her, which is sick. And now she can't hurt Dad or Roy again. And don't get me wrong, I don't think killing's a good thing, but honestly, that cat she was merged with was in so much pain for over a decade. It was ripped from its body and it was in agony every fucking second. I'm glad it has finally been put to rest." X meant that. She had been able to sense that wretched creature for all those nine days and she had felt so terribly sorry for it.

"Actually, judging by the General's lack of gloves as she came in, I would say that there's a strong possibility that she decapitated that woman and wiped her sword on the gloves afterwards. She did not seem to like her too much."

X had to say that she didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing when it came to calming her nerves for her own interrogation.

* * *

"We have to wait to tell the Rockbells, don't we?" Al asked once the others had left. "We can't just tell them over the phone, and if we invite them over ahead of schedule, then I think the psychologist coming tomorrow will be a bit suspicious. And Brother will be terrified enough as it is with having him visiting. If he doesn't remember them, then that will be completely overkill after two transmutations and moving here today, then getting them here tomorrow after having the psychologist visiting," Al said. He wanted Granny and Winry to know so bad that Ed was still in there. Him and Roy had decided that the best way not to confuse him was to call his body "Brother" in Al's case and "Edward" in Roy's. That way they could also manage to separate which one they were talking about without referring to him as "Me" because that felt... It didn't feel right. It was still Big Brother, both his soul and his body, but they wanted to keep Brother happy, which meant letting him hear the name he associated with them the strongest. He could become unsure and scared if they called him Me, because then they would bring in an entirely different name, which wasn't a good idea when he was already terrified after they forced him to transmute. That might be interpreted as them pushing him away instead, which was the last thing they needed.

"I think you're right about that. I don't want that secret to be via phone call in case someone should decide to intercept it. There was something wrong about the way Gregor should just die like that. That whole accident sounds fishy to me. And I don't like the way it implies that someone did that either to a) kill him, or b) free him," Roy said, frowning.

Al had been thinking so himself since Mister Hughes told them as he was about to leave. "And I guess that the people who are in charge of the recorders in the interrogation rooms are all military?"

Roy nodded, looking down. "Which means that there is a strong possibility that one of the officers involved with the interrogation is corrupt. So question is if they were trying to free him or were just pissed off with what that bastard did."

Al nodded. He didn't refer to people as bastards, but with what that man had done to Roy and to Big Brother, then there wasn't anything else to call him. However, if that meant that there were people inside the military who wanted to free him, then Al understood perfectly well why Roy was now sitting in front of the living room safe corner, letting Brother hold his right index while his free left hand was clothed in an ignition glove. Brother had fallen asleep again after being introduced to and sated by a bowl of popcorn. Lieutenant Hawkeye was in the kitchen making dinner.

And Al was left sitting next to Roy, watching over Brother. He couldn't just sit down with a book with everything that had happened. He wouldn't be able to focus on what he read. Not even close. So instead he watched Roy to try to figure out when and how to look after him as Ed had wanted. He hadn't had the opportunity to talk to Ed about that last page yet, he figured it was better to wait until Brother wasn't as scared and tense.

And speaking of tense, Al could see just how much so Roy was. And it was probably because of the way he had spent most of the time sitting for the last few weeks, tension rising from every bit of pain and fear and lack of sleep and rest.

Well, Al knew how to deal with that. He went over to the couch and took out one of the pillows, placing it on the floor next to Roy. Then he grabbed a soft pillow from the safe corner that Brother wouldn't miss at the moment and placed it on the floor in front of the large one from the couch.

"Alphonse? What are you up to?" Roy asked, confusion evident.

"Lie down on your stomach, and put your face on the soft one. Don't ask, just... just do it," Al said. He knew enough of Roy's personality to know that if Al said he was about to give him a massage, then Roy would instantly refuse because he felt like he had to look after Al. But fact was that Al was really good at those. With Ed's rehabilitation after the automail surgery, Winry had taught Al how to relieve tension in the muscles as a way to help Ed recover. After all, especially with his arm, the area around his neck used to get exceptionally stiff and give him tension headaches, also because of the way Ed had pushed himself during the recovery. Of course, he wouldn't let Winry do it, so Al learnt it instead and got quite good at it because he was the only person that Ed would let give him a massage.

Al understood it much better now. Ed had been too guilty to ever deny him anything after Al was stuck in this armour, so when Al had said "Please, Brother, I want to help you," then that had been all that needed to be said.

Roy looked at him curiously. "Alphonse, please tell me what's going on?"

"Just lie down. You need to rest yourself."

Al could see that same guilt in his eyes as he laid down that Brother used to have, and Al knew that this would be a good way to talk things out. To tell him what Brother had asked him to, without Roy being on constant alert.

And so Al set to work, gently making circles in between Roy's shoulder blades and the man stiffened immediately. "Alphonse that's not neces— oh, fuck, that's quite ... oh," he said, automatically relaxing himself so that he could enjoy it instead of it being uncomfortable. Al had to say that he kind of enjoyed that reaction in adults. Back at the train to West City, he remembered Lieutenant Hawkeye being extremely tense because of the stress about the thinness of their lead and therefore not able to fall asleep. She had spent the night leaning over the table in front of her, reading through notes and everything she could, and then Al had simply leaned over the back of her bench out of nowhere and gently pushed his thumbs twice between her shoulder blades and it was like an off switch. Al was getting a feeling that it counted for most people. And it was really amusing to watch them lose their resolve like that.

And it would be perfect for giving Roy the break that he needed and deserved after all he had done for Big Brother. If Roy had given him family through those weeks when he needed it the most, then Al owed Roy a price he would never be able to repay, not speaking of how he had managed to keep Big Brother out of a lunatic asylum.

Although it seemed that random acts of massage would be appreciated in the meantime, judging by the odd grunts he made.

"Where did you learn to... hmm," came the muffled voice from the pillow.

"Pushing himself like he did during his recovery after getting his automail, Big Brother got a lot of tension in his muscles, so Winry taught me," Al explained softly.

"You're... really good at that..." Roy said, barely repressing a moan as Al found a particular knot next to his right shoulder blade. Massaging was an interesting thing for Al, because he couldn't feel what he was doing, so he based his movements and pressure on the reaction he was getting. And it seemed that he was doing it right at the moment.

Which meant that it was the time to strike. "Roy, Ed asked me to tell you something. And it's important that you listen to me, okay?"

"Al? What are you... hmm ... going on about?" He began slurring mid-sentence as he decided not to lift his head after all. "I'm ... listening," he mumbled.

"He told me what happened to you... About when he was killed. And what led him to make her give him that drug that did this to him," Al said heavily. And Al didn't blame Roy for it. Not after Ed told him about how you don't have control. That you don't have conscious thoughts and actions.

"Al, I..." Roy began, his guilt evident as he tried to get up, so Al made small circles with his index finger on the knot of muscles. Roy's legs lifted slightly from the ground and fell back down with a "Haaaaooooh... Shit, Alphonse... That... that's..." Another groan as he went limp on top of his pillow again.

Al smiled inwardly. This was the nicest way to shut someone up, and it never stopped being funny. "Roy, listen to me: I do not blame you for what happened. I'm just angry with the people who did this. Ed explained it to me."

"But still, Al, I— ooooh..." Al found a spot right between his neck and shoulder.

"And Brother explained what that hallucinogen they injected him with does. How you don't... How you don't really get back to normal." Al wanted to cry at the thought. He just wanted to hug him. He wanted him back. He wanted his Big Brother's golden eyes full of life to look at him as Ed tried to cheat him during poker. "He told me why he really did it, Roy, and the main reason wasn't that he was afraid you'd hurt him. It wasn't just because he didn't want you to go through that." Al felt he needed to brace himself to say it out loud, because it showed just how horrible it must have been for Ed. Roy didn't even interrupt him, he just waited for him to continue and Al just kept his hands flat on his shoulders in order to have his undivided attention. Al took a deep breath with lungs he didn't have. "...He wanted me to tell you that the main reason was that he was afraid you'd change so that you didn't dare to hug him. He was too afraid he'd lose you."

Roy just lay there.

Then he started shaking.

Then Al heard something that he had never imagined he would hear from him.

Roy began sobbing.

Not loudly, but there was no mistaking it.

Al reacted instinctively, not caring that he was an unfeeling suit of armour as he picked Roy up gently and hugged him to his chest, Roy's index finger still in Brother's grip.

"I'm so sorry, Al..." he cried. He continued doing so, hitching for breath in between sobs for almost a minute. "You shouldn't be the one to do this. I'm supposed to take care of you for him!" he protested, although not fighting the embrace. "I-I... You're just a kid!"

"Roy, remember what Ed said. He told us to take care of each other. That means both of us giving something of ourselves to do what Ed wants for us. If not, then you're hurting Ed more than anything else could, because he's watching right now," Al finished, looking into the startled golden eyes that looked at them from where the golden head peeked out from under the duvet. "Right, Brother?" he asked kindly, knowing that the soul within would agree.

"Bo-uh."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter thirty-nine**

X was feeling a bit... awkward. She was sitting in a large plastic basin on top of the desk, hot water reaching her armpits, with a couple of soldiers watching her. She had just cut her hair by herself, but she was pretty pleased with the result. Even if it wasn't quite right, she had still managed to cut her fringe like Dad's and made her hair the proportionally same length. She liked how he looked. His eyes were awesome, and just the same colour as hers. That made her immensely happy, because eyes were supposed to be mirrors to the soul, so if her eyes were like her good half's, then that meant that her soul was a good one. At least she hoped so. And she had inherited what she had been told was an antenna, not a point like she had thought originally. Anyways, it was awesome. So now she just needed to dye her hair and then everything would be good.

So now she was sitting there, looking at the two soldiers. Buccaneer was standing by the wall, his arms crossed, while Miles was sitting in the chair in front of her. She had to have the strangest babysitters in the world.

"Are you going to get out of there soon?" Buccaneer asked. "You've stayed in there for twenty minutes already."

X just leaned back against it, stretching out her feet so that they just touched the edge. "Nuh, I like it here and it's plenty warm still."

_And your coats smell like soldiers... You could use something that smells less... soldiers-constantly-wearing-tight-fitting-wool-y._

X quite enjoyed being warm _and _inside something that apparently smelled like lemons. She thought lemons were supposed to be sour, but this smelled sweet if she would take a guess.

The only problem was that she wanted a plait like her Dad's and then she'd be really pleased.

But the one who seemed to know how to make them was Buccaneer. At least judging by the visual evidence.

_Fuck it, I'm gonna take the risk._

"Captain Buccaneer? Could you please do me a favour?" she asked sweetly, leaning forwards and looking at him, hopefully in an adorable way.

Buccaneer raised his eyebrows, looking at her sceptically, but X realised that he suddenly had a very faint blush to his cheeks. "Depends on the favour."

"Could you please teach me how to plait my hair?"

His eyebrows rose even further. "You want me to teach you?" he asked gruffly.

X nodded fervently. "Yes, and then I swear I won't utter a single profanity for the rest of my stay!" she added to sweeten the deal.

Buccaneer locked eyes with her for about a minute, then he sighed and pulled out what X thought was a small hair tie from his coat pocket.

"Yay! Thank you!" X said.

Ten minutes later she was still sitting in her basin, but now with her very own plait, just like her Dad's, and it was awesome.

Which was when the door was opened and General Armstrong returned. X decided that it was a good idea to be respectful to her to avoid any form of bloodshed, so she sprang to her feet inside her basin and stood with her chest puffed out, her back straight, as she saluted her to the best of her abilities, water dripping. "MAJOR GENERAL ARMSTRONG, SIR!" she shouted as Buccaneer and Miles saluted the General with a "Sir!" that was nearly inaudible over X's clearly superior one.

General Armstrong looked her up and down. "So you've stopped growing, then." It wasn't a question, merely an observation. X kept saluting her, figuring that politeness and respect was probably the best way to keep the General from eating her fingers.

"Yes, I have, sir!"

"Sit down, Elric."

X felt a little smile at being recognised as such. "Yes, sir!" she said, and sat back down in the basin, loving how warm it felt after standing up like that. She crossed her legs and smiled at her, not able to keep it away after being called an Elric by somebody other than herself.

"Are you going to stay in there for the duration of the interrogation?" she asked.

"If I may. It smells very nice in here and it's nice and warm, Major General Armstrong, sir!" X said.

She studied X for a few seconds. "Then I suppose you could stay in there. We do not have clothes that suit you and the Briggs fortress is not an environment for a small child. Hypothermia is a very real danger here, so it might be for the best," she said, then strode forwards, pulled off her right glove, dipped her index finger into the water and then removed it. X didn't dare say anything that could make her angry, not even reprimanding her for calling her small. "Major Miles, boil some more water," she said, pulling her glove back on and taking a step back.

"Yes, General," Miles said, rising from his chair and disappearing out of the door.

The General took the chair and looked at X sternly as she crossed her arms. "So, have you decided upon a name?" she asked semi-softly. If it was to gain trust or lull her into a false sense of safety, she couldn't say.

"No, sir. I am waiting for my Dad to do so. In the meantime I am calling myself "X" until my Dad can choose a name, or my uncle can do so for him as he is currently unable to speak due to his broken mind." X didn't want to tell her about the separated soul part. After what she had learnt about military experimentation, she had no doubt that they would use her Dad for some kind of project.

She couldn't let that happen.

"There is something that you are not telling me. I expect you to answer me truthfully and completely, do you understand?" she said in a dangerous and slightly raised voice.

X froze. "I do, sir! I am merely deciding not to share information about the torture of my Dad because I am afraid that people will want to use it to do the same things to somebody else! And if you are against human experimentation then I hope you will let that pass without me elaborating on it as I am not exactly too trusting of the military after what happened to that woman and I do not want to encourage any more ideas like that in case somebody should overhear our conversation!" X said before mouthing at her: "because I kind of know how they broke his mind."

The General looked at her, a spike of anger flaring, but X didn't think it was directed at her. She looked straight into X's eyes for a full minute and X was getting terrified that she had put trust in the wrong person and ruined her Dad's and her own life. She had been stupid to say that. She had surely ruined everything and she felt tears running down her cheeks, her chest getting tight. "P-please, General... D-don't hurt my D-Dad."

She could have sworn she saw something in her eyes that bordered on kindness, but only for a fleeting second. "Very well, now pull yourself together, I told you I do not approve of human experimentation, especially by the military. Now stop acting like a silly, little girl!"

X sniffed and dried her face on the washcloth hanging over the edge of the basin. "Th-thank you, sir."

She didn't respond to that. "So what exactly makes you a supersoldier apart from the things we know?"

X took a deep breath. "I have a lot more agility and strength than usual, I am fluent in Drachman, Cretan and Aerugonian, even if I don't know how to read or write it, my vision and hearing are top notch, and I have very sharp reflexes, sir." X thought for a bit. "Oh! And I know morse code, General!"

"So many things that would make you an excellent soldier..." she said thoughtfully. "And stop with that look, I have already told you that I do not intend to keep you here," she added sharply, making X wince. "You may be useful as a soldier in due time, but I am not about to recruit a child that has no interest in being used as such."

"Thank you, General," X said, and she meant it, offering her a little smile.

She didn't answer, but Miles returned with a jug of steaming water. X stepped out of the basin and onto the towel next to it as he poured it in and carefully slushed it back and forth to mix it, before X carefully checked the temperature, grinning, and got back in. "Thank you, Major," X said.

She received a faint nod.

"So, what remains now is to set some rules and get you safely transported to Colonel Mustang's house in East City where the Elrics are currently staying," the General said.

"So you know what happened to them?!" X asked, eyes wide. "Please tell me how they are doing!" she pleaded, leaning against the edge of the basin desperately. She hadn't thought about how these people might know what was going on in her terror of having her fingers eaten. "They're together?!"

General Armstrong looked at her. "The Führer has offered Mustang a deal where he gets one year's leave to get back on his feet while looking after the Elrics and helping your father recover. He is at the moment their temporary guardian. They moved in earlier today according to General Hakuro."

X let out a breath of relief. They got to stay together. That was good. They needed to do so, she was sure after hearing them inside the cage. "Thank you, General. That's good to hear."

"Buccaneer, I am sending you to New Optain under the pretence of providing extra protection to General Hakuro. You will be leaving with him in two hours. From there, you will take Elric here to East City because Alex is still there which means you can deliver him the message that I have better things to do than abandoning my post to attend a winter solstice banquet."

"Yes, sir!"

X was confused, grateful and relieved. And scared. "But I thought I was supposed to be a secret, sir? You can't exactly send me together with an unknown General then?"

The General looked at her sternly. "Which is why I am sending Buccaneer as he is big enough to hide you under his coat."

X froze. She did not want to be practically glued to that giant for days. And with limited methods of communication. What if she was found out? She'd be hauled off to some lab. "But what if it goes wrong, General?!" X exclaimed, terror gripping her chest.

"Do you not trust my men?" she said, looking at her in a deadly way.

X had to say she saw her point. With the way that she was, General Armstrong seemed to be on top of things constantly and without fail. She also did not tolerate any bullshit or faulty plans. If she trusted her men, then X guessed that they were to be trusted with good reason. "I see your point, General. But how am I supposed to stay hidden like that for days?"

"You will be tied to his side with a couple of blankets and not make any noise. If you need to communicate, then you do so through morse code. The journey will take you three days. You will be arriving in North City by around eleven tonight, sleep at a military hotel, and head for New Optain with the morning train."

"So you want me to poke your subordinate for three days, sir?" X asked, trying to make absolutely sure that she had understood this right.

"It is a silent form of communication. You should otherwise keep your movements restricted and not draw any attention to yourself." She gave X a look telling her all the silent threats that were unnecessary to say out loud.

X nodded. "Yes, sir." Then she looked at Buccaneer. "You're not ticklish, are you?" she asked cautiously.

"My men do not have time for such trivial things," General Armstrong said sternly with a kind of furious prideful hint in her voice.

_It's official. Major General Olivier Mira Armstrong is the scariest lady on the planet._

* * *

_FOR FUCK'S SAKE, STOP KICKING HIM!_

Ed groaned inwardly. He was so damned tired of this. He hated hearing himself scream like that. Me really knew how to make some really heartbreaking noises, and Ed hated the look in Roy's eyes that those screams caused.

Things had changed these last few hours ever since Ed transmuted that letter for them. Ed could tell that they were struggling with this whole situation. To try to balance talking to Ed and talking to Me. It was almost amusing how they seemed to be concerned that they were patronising Ed. But they were still taking care of Me. Helping him. Being kind and gentle with him.

Although Me was trying to kick Roy right in the ribs at the moment as it was time to go to bed.

Which meant that it was time for the most trying task of them all.

Brushing Me's teeth.

Me didn't seem to get it, but he liked the taste, so he'd try to lick the toothbrush and then he'd trigger his gag reflex and get foam all down his front and look up at Roy with tears in his eyes as Roy had to keep going because the last thing they needed right now was having to go to a dentist because of rotten teeth. So Me would choke and gag and be hurt and then bite down hard on the toothbrush and Roy would have tears in his eyes and plead with him, which was the only way that Me would open his mouth and let Roy continue. That was the one practical thing here. Me was loyal as hell to his Eddah and would do anything to make him stop crying.

Me was even more loyal to him than to his Bo-uh.

That part was absolutely devastating to Ed. Because Me knew what his Bo-uh was, but not who he was to him. He knew he was important and he tried to remember, but he couldn't. And because he didn't know, then his Eddah was the most important person in his life.

But he wanted to place his Bo-uh something badly. He wanted to know why he was important, and Ed wanted to tell him. But it was impossible and Ed was scared that Al would be jealous and lonely because of it.

Ed was still dumbstruck by what Al had told him earlier. How he had acted. How he was angry with Ed for thinking that Al hated him. How Al would have been shouting if he hadn't been scared of frightening Me.

So instead he had ripped off the part about how Ed asked him if he hated to him, told him he was a complete idiot, then taken a match and set the torn off piece of paper on fire and let it turn to ashes inside an ashtray for Ed to see.

Ed loved his little brother so much it ached. He hated causing him all this pain.

And Al, the seven-foot steel angel that he was, had given Roy a massage to make him shut up so that he could deliver Ed's message, manipulating Roy in the kindest way known to man. And it was so, so like his Little Brother to do so and made Ed love him even more for it, even if that was impossible because Al was the most perfect little brother in the fucking universe.

The evening bathroom procedure with brushing the teeth and changing the diaper took them about half an hour, until Roy gently carried Ed inside the bedroom and put him down on the floor.

But this time, Me seemed uncertain as to what was Roy's bed and his own safe corner, because what Roy, or probably Alphonse had done in his stead, had done was to transmute the legs off of Roy's bed so that it was merely a bit higher off the ground than the safe corner next to it, with the wooden frame still holding the bed together.

Me seemed to make up his mind with a mewl, and made his way towards the safe corner, burrowing himself inside the duvets before peeking out cautiously, looking at Roy.

"I'll be right back, okay? I'm just going to get ready for bed myself. Al will look after you until then."

"Eddah," Me said, reaching out his hand for Roy's finger.

Roy seemed torn. "I'll only be five minutes."

"Eddah," Me repeated, and Ed suddenly began to understand just what was happening here. Me was afraid that Eddah was going to leave him. That all those things that had happened and the tears and the strange behaviour and the scaring him through transmutations meant that HIS Eddah was about to leave him. That he was going to leave him here in this strange, new room.

Ed felt his heart ache for him, but he really hoped that Roy would go do what he needed. Ed was taking away from him so much of his freedom, even now that they were out.

Al came into the doorway and put a hand on Roy's shoulder. "I'll stay with him. Ed wouldn't want you to not take care of yourself for him."

_Thank you, Little Brother._

Roy nodded and left with a last sad look at Me as Al came into the room and reached out his index finger.

Me was confused and scared and grabbed it. "Bo-uh! Eddah?" he said.

Me was asking Al where his Eddah went. It was the closest thing Me had ever come to making sentient questions. Al gasped despite having no lungs to do so with. "He'll be back soon, Brother," he said gently.

"Bo-uh! Eddah?" Me asked again, not understanding what Al was saying like the idiot he was.

"He'll be right there, Brother."

"Bo-uh? Eddah!" Me was getting scared. He was conflicted because he didn't want to get out of his safe corner, but he was terrified of losing his Eddah, so he sat up, just shaking and turning his head back and forth to look for him before locking his eyes on the door. "Eddah?" He began whimpering and sniffing the air. Me was scared that he would be doing something wrong if he moved from his safe corner, so he didn't dare move in case they would hurt him and be even more displeased with him.

But after half a minute, he reached out to Roy's bed because it was also probably a safe corner and sniffed his duvet. He sniffed it for almost a minute, desperation growing. "Eddah!" He obviously recognised the scent and dove under the duvet, up onto the bed, letting go of Al's finger. "Eddah?!" He began dragging himself around, sniffing the sheets and the pillows, examining every part of the bed, obviously confused. "Eddah?!" Me was panicking. He thought he was being abandoned while not understanding where his Eddah went or why it smelled like him.

Al was trying to say calming things, but for once, Me was to upset to repeat "Bo-uh." He only had eyes for his Eddah who wasn't there. "EDDAH!" he shouted frantically. "EDDAH!"

Then came the tears. Me began crying. He began crying as he curled himself into a ball and sobbed for his Eddah who had abandoned him.

"What's wrong?!" Ed suddenly heard Roy say and there came running footsteps down the hallway and Me froze.

"Eddah?" he said weakly, getting out of his curled up misery and looking up as Roy's face suddenly appeared above him as the duvet was lifted. "EDDAH!" he exclaimed, overjoyed at seeing him, not caring about the glistening spot of mouthwash in the corner of Roy's mouth or the fact that he hadn't had time to change into his pyjamas, only leaving him in his boxers.

Roy sat down and looked at him, confused and alarmed as he reached out his index which Me grabbed instantly, tears still running down his cheeks. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"Eddah!" Me said, crying.

"I think he thought he was being abandoned," Alphonse said, his voice weak with shock at Me's reaction. "I'm sorry, I couldn't do anything and I didn't want to scare him even more by leaving to get you or touching him!" Al then added, his despair catching up to him.

"Alphonse, that's okay, don't worry about it. I'll take it from here, I was done anyways," he said softly, wiping away the mouthwash from the corner of his mouth, still looking shocked and alarmed. "He's never called out for me like that. I guess just a bit too much has happened for him to feel entirely safe." He gently reached out to brush away Me's tears, and Me let him, pushing his face into his hand.

Ed could only watch in shock at what was going on. This was the longest that Me had been interactive. And he was grateful beyond words for Roy and Al.

"Okay, Edward, I guess this means that we'll be sharing the bed, then," Roy said kindly, smiling warmly at him, still cupping his cheek. Ed was revelling in the touch. That warm, familiar hand felt so, _**so**_ much better than just that stupid finger.

And so Roy lay down gently on his side, letting his head fall on the pillow, still cupping Ed's cheek as Me looked down at him, confused about what he was supposed to do because he was used to Roy sitting and not lying and then using his thigh as a pillow.

And Ed understood. Roy was using this to push Me into seeking something closer to a hug, but still giving him the option to do what he was used to. Roy was trying to give _**Ed**_ a hug.

Seeing that Me had a hard time deciding, he tilted over on his back instead, this time thankfully ready for the pain so that he could repress it. "I guess it's the leg pillow again, huh, Edward?" he said, and Ed could see some sadness at that. Roy had been hoping too that Me would want something more after what happened with the obvious need Me had had for his Eddah.

However, it seemed that seeing Roy's disappointed face was enough because Me wanted to please him so that he didn't leave him again. "Eddah!" he exclaimed in fear, then he released his index finger and slumped onto his chest, gripping his ear instead as he pushed his forehead into Roy's left cheek. "Eddah!"

Roy seemed stunned. "Edward..." Then he gently reached out his right hand to put around Ed's back.

Which was when Me yelped, sat straight up, and looked at Roy with fear.

"Edward... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scare you," Roy said guiltily, disappointment evident.

Ed, however, was beginning to get his hopes up, because Me seemed to be remembering something very promising, namely the way hugs felt good.

Which, because Me was being an idiot again, could only be done without the poncho because that was how hugging his Eddah had always worked, so Me was whimpering as he found his way out of the poncho, getting scared by the sudden darkness of pushing it over his head, then being overjoyed that his Eddah was still there now that he was ready. "EDDAH!" he exclaimed happily and then practically jumped onto Roy's chest again, rubbing his left cheek against his, obviously excited by the memories he was getting that none of the others seemed to understand were resurfacing.

_Come on, Roy! Hug me! He wants it! The idiot wants it! DO IT!_

Then came the warm arm gently resting on his back and Me froze, whimpering, trying to figure out if this was how it worked. What he had hoped for. He stayed like that for about thirty seconds where Ed was getting so desperate and hopeful it fucking hurt.

Then Me relaxed and reached out and grabbed Roy's ear again.

He barely flinched at the second arm, clearly understanding that this was what he was remembering as his memories merged with the sensations. And Me was happy as fuck because his Eddah seemed to still love him.

And Ed was so happy he couldn't think. He had missed this so much. And this could be the first breakthrough for trust that would let him get back inside. Back inside so that he could help Al get back so that he too could get to experience this.

"Ed, I hope you're happy too right now, because I've missed this," Roy said gently.

"I'm sure he is, Roy..." Al said, and for some reason his tone was dangerous. "So you better make each one of those hugs fucking count when I can't hug him!"

Roy froze.

Ed felt like he had been stabbed. Was Al getting jealous? This must be absolutely horrible to him when he couldn't get hugs and just had to stand there watching as Ed couldn't even help him get his body back. And Al had never uttered that profanity before. Ed couldn't remember him swearing for real ever.

"Alphonse, I..." Roy began, but was cut short.

"...Because you better be a pro when it's my turn," Al said darkly.

Then he laughed. "Roy, you hug him all you want to, I rather you did, because you both need it," Al said happily. "Thank you," he said, gently pulling the duvet over them before turning on the nightlight and off the lamp in the ceiling, still chuckling. "Good night."

"G-good night, Al," Roy said, obviously unsure as to what had happened.

It took a few seconds before Roy spoke again, letting out a relieved breath. "Wow, Ed... I thought you were joking when you said he has a dark side..."

Ed smirked inwardly, loving the feeling of the embrace.

_Yeah, which means that you're officially a member of the family._

* * *

**And once again I beg for reviews because they keep me writing!**

**(But no flames ;))**


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter forty**

Alphonse didn't exactly know whether this was progress or yet another cruel twist of fate, because after that first hug, Brother had gone from never wanting to be carried to never wanting to let go of Roy, so almost everything Roy did was with Brother hanging around his neck, clinging to him with his remaining arm and leg.

Meaning that every time Roy had to use the bathroom, Ed was sitting in the hallway right outside, howling for his Eddah, clutching one of Roy's pillows to him as he sat on Al's lap.

Brother had become increasingly focused on continuously being in contact with his Eddah and his Bo-uh, most likely because he was afraid that he would be abandoned by one or both of them if not.

So now Roy was busy sitting on the couch with Brother on his lap. Brother seemed to have developed a kind of mental picture about how hugs worked, and that was with Roy being bare-chested while Brother was only wearing his diaper, so Roy had found an alternative that preserved some of their dignity, so Roy was now wearing boxers and a large flannel poncho covered in sheep, as the one with the sheep seemed to be the one Brother liked the best, all the while listening to children's songs.

The doorbell rang and Al went to get it. Brother whimpered. Because the Rockbells were arriving, they had figured that having Lieutenant Hawkeye stay out of the picture in the beginning was a good idea so as not to have three potential threats Brother didn't remember at the same time. So the Lieutenant was in the study, reading. She too had been granted a year's leave, but with only half pay as she didn't have the same "useful position to the military as that of a State Alchemist," as she had kindly explained it, telling Al that it wasn't an issue.

Al was both dreading and looking forward to meeting the Rockbells. He just didn't want to make them cry, but knew that it was inevitable.

He opened the door and the first thing that happened was that Winry jumped on him, hugging him around the middle as she sobbed her heart out. "W-Winry?" Al said uncomfortably, gently putting his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Al! I just... I can't..."

Then she just became completely unintelligible as she sobbed into his chest plate.

"Hello, dear," Granny said, and Al could tell that she too was having a hard time with this.

"We should talk before you see him... There are some things you should know that we couldn't say over the phone," Al said, leading them to the kitchen once Winry managed to get her legs working with some support from Al and Granny. There they sat down on the chairs and Al looked at them. "Big Brother's still in there," Al began.

"Of course he is! He's Ed no matter if his mind is broken or not!" Winry protested, tears streaming.

"You mean something else, don't you, Al?" Granny said gently.

Winry froze.

"Yes, I do," Al said. This was hard. And it was going to be both a relief, but also devastating for the Rockbells to hear. "The drug that broke his mind... It did something else too... It expelled his soul, breaking the connection with his brain and mind."

Winry and Granny both gasped. "What do you mean, Al?" Winry asked, her voice breaking.

"It means that Ed's soul isn't connected to his body in a way that lets him be in control of anything. He... He's a spectator from his own body that is reduced to its most basic instincts at the moment... But he can transmute... The ability to transmute lies within the soul, so if we press his hand to a transmutation circle, then he can transmute messages for us."

Winry seemed absolutely dumbstruck.

Then she began sobbing loudly into her arms that were leaning on the table. Granny began stroking her back and Al was reminded horribly of the day that the news came that Auntie and Uncle Rockbell had died in Ishbal.

Al suddenly felt some panic at that. With what had happened, if the Rockbells began blaming Roy...

It would break Ed's heart and probably turn Brother against them.

"Granny, Winry... Please don't blame Roy... If Ed doesn't then so should you, because Ed was **there.** Ed was **there** through everything, and he doesn't blame Roy for anything that happened to him..."

Granny kept her gaze on her granddaughter for about a minute, before she looked back up at him, tears in her eyes, and her lips tight with fury and grief. "I... I want to blame him... Al, I really want to... But if my grandson has been reduced to a mere soul that can't control his own body, and yet he doesn't blame him for it... Then I suspect that Ed has his reasons and I will have to trust his judgement. And yours."

Al felt relief wash over him. "Thank you, Granny... Because otherwise you're going to turn Brother against you and Ed will... It would break his heart."

Granny sighed, a tear rolling down her cheek. "So you've separated them like that? "Ed" is the soul and "Brother" is the body?"

"Yes."

"Then what do you suggest I call him?"

"I think Ed would be best. If you call him Edward it might confuse him because he thinks it's Roy's name." Al felt like crying. Everything was just so wrong right now.

"I see..." Granny said, her lips tightening, but it wasn't in anger at Roy, but at the people who did this to Big Brother.

"There's another thing... Brother's become terrified of Roy leaving him, so... So he clings to him all the time. I should return soon too or he'll start worrying that I've gone. He reacted badly to being forced to transmute two days ago, so we think he might be afraid that we don't like him... It's why we can't do it again before in twelve days or he could lose his trust in us. I'm sorry, Granny. And you shouldn't walk too close to him... He doesn't remember who you are and he thinks... He thinks women are a threat to him and his Eddah because of Melanie Clayden. We can't fix this quickly... It's going to kill him if we tamper anymore with his mind, so what Ed's asked us to do is to help Brother put his mind back together so that hopefully it'll stop rejecting his soul. And you can't tell anyone else about this. If the rest of the military found out, they'd take him away and put him in some lab as a test subject," Al was speaking more quickly because he didn't want to worry Brother more than necessary.

Winry sobbed harder at that and Granny's lips tightened even more. "Then do you think it's okay to go see him now?"

"Yes... But don't say anything about the poncho... Brother spent most of the time stripped of his clothes, so he doesn't... He doesn't seem to think that hugs are possible with clothes... So Roy's wearing what he wore inside the cage, which means a pair of boxers, so the poncho is to offer some privacy and warmth that isn't like the blankets they got in the cage... And Brother likes the sheep best."

Granny stared at him disbelievingly. "Colonel Mustang is walking around in a sheep poncho and boxers?"

"Yes... So please don't mention it or ask about it and just... Just see it for what it is... Roy's trying to help Brother regain some sense of safety so he doesn't really... He doesn't really prioritise his own sense of pride over that. So I'm... I'm just grateful, even if the psychologist thinks that Brother is a lost cause." Al hated to explain this, not wanting to embarrass Roy after all he had done, but explaining it before they saw him was probably going to keep the elephant away from the room.

"BO-UH! EDDAH! **BO-UH?!**" was suddenly very audible from the living room and Al immediately got to his feet. "I guess my time is up," Al said, trying to sound brave, but even if he was just a hollow suit of armour, his voice still broke and Granny looked like someone had stabbed her in the chest while Winry had stopped crying and just sat there, frozen.

Al left the kitchen and heard the Rockbells get to their feet behind him. Then he came into the living room to find Brother sitting inside the poncho, his face peeking out from the expanded neckline to have room for his head too. His features lit up as he saw Al. "**BO-UH!**" he shouted happily and reached out his hand next to his face so that he could grab Al's finger.

And so Al walked over and sat down on the floor in front of them, letting Brother grasp his finger in his hand, looking extremely pleased that his Bo-uh still loved him.

Al had to say that this all felt unreal. That Big Brother was like this. That their life was like this. That...

Brother suddenly whimpered and scrambled closer to Roy, shivering, and Al looked over to the doorway where Winry and Granny were standing.

"Edward, it's okay, they're safe," Roy said, and Al guessed he was tightening the hug.

Brother whimpered and then ducked inside the poncho, hiding his face. "Eddah?" he said weakly, as if trying to to ask him to protect him.

Both Rockbells were looking deadly pale.

"I'm sorry we have to meet like this... I'm sorry about... About everything," Roy said, looking at the Rockbells with obvious pain in his face. "I don't even know what to say except that I am so, so sorry."

Granny just gave a weak nod while Winry leaned against the doorway, focusing on the shivering lump hidden by the poncho. "Hello, Ed... I-I know you can't answer me, but... But I'm not angry about the ... the automail," she said timidly, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Al didn't even know what to say anymore.

* * *

X was confused. Buccaneer hadn't explained anything about where they were, even when they were alone, just to be inconspicuous to the full. The only times they had exchanged words was in the hotel room in North City. Other than that, she had been fed sandwiches in the toilet of the three trains she had been aboard, had seen no scenery at all, and she had been wrapped in blankets because buying her clothes would have been suspicious.

So right now, all she knew was that they had got off the train in East City about forty minutes ago and that Buccaneer was walking.

And she was in total darkness in her odd blanket sling, pressed to the grumpy soldier's side.

Suddenly he stopped walking and then an odd sound came. X had given up on making him tell her anything. Hopefully this meant that they were finally there. She really, really wanted to meet her REAL family, and **NOW**.

Then came the sound of a door being opened and a bit of silence. "Is this Colonel Mustang's house?" Buccaneer asked.

_YES!_

X could hardly keep still, she was so excited.

"Yes, I am First Lieutenant Hawkeye. May I ask who you are, sir?" a female voice answered. X had never heard of her before. She didn't even know what her uncle was named yet. All the information she knew had been through what that bitch had said and been told after all.

"Captain Buccaneer. I was sent here by Major General Armstrong."

"Please come in, sir," the woman answered again.

And so they were inside the first house X had ever been in, and she was still stuck in this woolly darkness. Then the door was closed behind them and X suddenly had no idea what to say or do.

"If I could speak to Colonel Mustang alone, then that would be best."

"I'm sorry, sir, but that is not an option at the moment due to Ed's situation. At best it would have to be both Elrics and the Colonel."

"Then would you please take me to them so that I can speak with them alone?"

"Yes, sir, this way."

Then they were walking again before the Hawkeye woman spoke up again. "We have some urgent military business, if you would please come with me?"

"Oh, of course!" came a much younger female voice, then a grunt from someone sounding a lot older again.

And so the door was shut just as she heard Dad whimper, making her freeze, emotions overwhelming her. They were right **there**. What were they going to think? To say about her? Were they going to send her away? She hadn't thought about that before now. What if she reminded them too much of that bitch to ever love X?

Then came the telltale shiver down X's spine as the fabric of the coat shifted over her back as Buccaneer saluted. "Colonel Mustang, sir, I am Captain Buccaneer. I was sent here by Major General Armstrong regarding some recent events at Briggs in relation to your captivity."

"What do you mean, Captain?"

X felt her stomach hurt. Whether it was from excitement or hearing the pain in Roy's voice from the memories of their captivity, she didn't know. Everything was a tight knot in her stomach and she wanted to find out what they would think, but also not.

"Melanie Clayden turned up near the Briggs fortress three days ago, sir. She was badly injured and had made her way towards the Drachman border."

"You captured her, right?!" Roy asked, fear evident in his voice.

"We did, sir, and she died soon after giving birth. It appears that the experiments conducted by the military were centred around creating so-called "supersoldiers". That included highly sped up pregnancies and rapid growth to the age of six."

X felt like strangling him. "WHAT THE FUCK, BUCCANEER?! DON'T SUGARCOAT IT!"

Dad yelped and X felt her stomach clench. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare him!" she said, then she punched Buccaneer as hard as she could, which was basically a shove because of how tightly she was pressed against him. "Now just let me out of here, you tactless brute!"

And so she felt the coat get shifted away and the blanket sling released before she was sitting on the floor, blinking against the sudden and bright light. Then her eyes fell upon someone who was undoubtedly Roy, judging by the picture she'd seen when she was at Briggs, but with some strange animal blanket and a shivering bump against his chest that she guessed was her Dad.

And Roy looked absolutely horrified. He was pale and there was nothing in his eyes beyond horror and guilt.

"No... How?!" came a shocked voice from what she had thought was just (most likely, based on the descriptions in her head) a suit of armour.

Which would make him her uncle. It sounded young enough to fit.

"If you would excuse me, Colonel Mustang, sir, but I was given orders to make the delivery as quick as possible to draw the least amount of attention. The girl will explain the rest," Buccaneer said and left the room, probably saluting.

X didn't even care that he was leaving her here to sort this out herself. All she could do was stare at the two people, and especially Roy as he had a face she could read.

She had been so excited about meeting them, and now everything was falling to pieces because they didn't want her. It was obvious.

And so came the tears.

Then the sobs.

Then the wails.

All in just a second.

Then she was lying on her side on the floor, bawling. "I'M SORRY!" Her entire body hurt and she couldn't even tell why, but her chest was exploding with pain and her stomach had twisted itself apart.

Then suddenly came a hand on her shoulder, a giant one, and she knew it was the one of her uncle. "Hey, it's okay, don't cry, it's not your fault..."

She could hear how much pain he was in even so. The terror and shock and this was not the way she had thought things would go at all. She hadn't thought about how it would go. But she should have seen it coming. She was excited to meet her Dad, but of course when she was a living, breathing reminder of the fact that her Dad had been drugged and raped, then how could they not hate her?

Then suddenly she was lifted up into her uncle's enormous arms snd she was sobbing against his chest. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

She could hear people talking and everything hurt and she didn't even care what people were saying because everything hurt and she didn't care where she was moved or if they were trying to send her back to Briggs to become a soldier because of course they would hate her and she had been so stupid!

And then suddenly she felt someone grab her antenna and she looked around, straight at a scared face in front of her that was sniffing and whimpering.

And her Dad looked so different from the picture. His hair was different and his eyes weren't fierce. He looked so scared it made her heart twist even more, because she knew that right now there had to be a horrified and confused twelve-year-old boy who was suddenly realising that he had been raped and become a father as a result watching her. "I..." her voice broke. "I-I'm ... I'm sorry, D-Dad!" Then she broke down into sobs again.

Then her Dad released her antenna and poked her left eyeball, mewling.

* * *

Ed's world was crumbling. This wasn't happening. He couldn't be... This couldn't be real.

But the girl in the blankets that was being cradled in his brother's arms was definitely his. The antenna and the eyes left no doubt.

Ed would have been hyperventilating if he could. Melanie had somehow at some point raped him and it had got her pregnant. She had fucking raped him. And now...

**_WHAT THE HECK?! DON'T POKE HER IN THE EYEBALL! _**

Roy thankfully held his hand back to keep Me from doing that to her other eye as well.

Ed didn't know what to think. He wasn't supposed to...

_**I'M FUCKING TWELVE, DAMMIT! **I can't be a... a father! And not like this! I can't have a kid with ... with **MELANIE**! _

And the girl had the same hair colour as her, which was what seemed to be Me's biggest problem here. Apparently otherwise the scary females were only the grownups.

That was a plus, he supposed.

But this wasn't real. It couldn't be real. He couldn't be a Dad who wasn't even seven years older than his daughter!

And stuck like this! He couldn't even get the right emotions because he was detached from his body!

He had never felt so trapped in his life. He had barely got through breaking the Rockbells's hearts and now...

Now there was a crying six-year-old who was apologising for being born and who wasn't listening to Al's assurances about it not being her fault.

And Roy was just dumbstruck. Ed had no idea what he would have said himself even if he could. This couldn't be real.

There was just no way.

* * *

**And please, please, please review!**

**(But no flames as always ;))**


	41. Chapter 41

**So, X is finally given a name, and I would like to give a special thanks to user needs a username for helping me with it!**

* * *

**Chapter forty-one**

X didn't know how long she spent crying, only that she reached a point where she had dried up and she was sitting on her uncle's lap with her Dad grabbing her index finger, mewling as he stared at her in an unnerving fashion, tilting his head back and forth sideways. He was practically hanging out of the animal blanket in order to grip her finger.

Her uncle was gently stroking her back and Roy was still pale and hadn't said a word.

"Hey, do you have a name?" her uncle said kindly to her, his voice slightly strained.

"N-no... That bitch kept calling me Ida all the time, but I'm not gonna use any name she's given me, and especially not when it's HER middle name!" X said, feeling her anger return at the memory.

"So you're actually saying you were conscious before you were born?" Roy suddenly said, obviously drawing conclusions from what she had just said.

X looked up at him. She felt miserable. He was still pale, but there was curiosity and disgust on his features as well. "Yes... I've been conscious since I was conceived. I... I was in that womb for nine days... I was fed information constantly during that time... She... She tried to teach me how to... how to torture you... And I learned all this... all this messed up military shit... But please, please believe me, I don't want to hurt you! I hate her! She hurt my Dad! She hurt all of you!" X said miserably.

Roy looked at her, fear in his eyes. "If you've been conscious since you were conceived, then please tell me: was Ed aware of it? Did he know that she did it?"

X shook her head. "No, it was all part of the ... of the plan. That bitch drugged you both while you were asleep and then... Then she went to business. She wanted you not to know so that... so that she could "surprise" you. And then she'd throw me inside to live with you... Make me into another child you couldn't protect, but this time one that could speak and... and one that could blame you for letting my Dad get tortured, all the while being there to... to be a constant reminder of how you couldn't protect him from being raped... And how you couldn't know when and if she'd do it again... How she could make you a dad and then peel the skin off your child's arms right in front of you and then slit their throat... And so you'd spend every night afraid of falling asleep in case it happened again... She didn't even mean to let me know about it, I learnt of it by accident... Then when you were saved, she made her way towards the Drachman border, planning to brainwash me for a few years before coming back here to... to torture you with me by her side," X said, her fear of them hating her growing by the second, but she couldn't lie to them either, that would probably make them suspicious of her. "Please, I don't want to hurt you! I don't wanna do anything like that to you! Please believe me!" She stared pleadingly up at Roy.

Roy looked torn.

X felt her chest tighten again. "Please," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I'm not like her... I never wanna be like her... I just wanna be a kid with my real family."

Roy looked her in the eyes for a long time. There was some intense fear and disgust, but there was also painful understanding. Then he sighed. "You've suffered from this too, haven't you?" he asked softly.

X nodded miserably, some hope returning to her.

"So you know about Ed too, then?" Roy asked quietly, before a sudden urgency overtook his features. "Do you know anything more that can help him get back inside?"

X looked at him, eyes widening. "How did you find out?! Dad's not in control of anything!"

"He can still transmute," her uncle suddenly said, and she looked up at him. "Now please, is there anything we can do to fix this? Anything beyond helping his body slowly put its mind back together enough not to reject his soul?"

X looked at him, her lips quivering, really just wanting to give them another answer. "No, there isn't. That's the only thing that may work. But it's gonna take years and I don't... I don't think he'll be completely the same once he gets back in. I'm sorry."

There was silence at that for over a minute.

"You haven't told anyone about him, right?" Roy suddenly asked.

"Of course not! I didn't even tell Major General Armstrong about his soul when she asked me to explain why I was withholding information!"

"You defied General Armstrong?" Roy said, disbelief evident.

"Yes! She doesn't like the military conducting human experiments so I told her I knew how they broke Dad's mind and I didn't want to elaborate on it in order to protect him, and so she respected that. She's the scariest lady on the planet, but she's got respect for the right to live as a free person as long as they're innocent and not enemies of the State. And that bitch isn't coming back because General Armstrong decapitated her herself. There are only four people at Briggs who know about me, and when she trusts them, then I do too."

Roy looked at her. "Well, I can't fault your logic there... And thank you for protecting Ed, there aren't many people who would look General Armstrong straight in the eye and not give her the information that she's asking for."

X just looked at him. "He's my Dad. I have to protect him," was all she said.

* * *

Winry was standing in the hallway with Grandma and Riza, and they were all very pale. Out of all the things to happen to Ed and Al right now, it was this. This couldn't even be real. There couldn't be a six-year-old child that had been born only two days ago, sitting there in the living room. And it couldn't be because Ed was a father after having been raped in his sleep. It just couldn't be.

But nobody seemed to deny those facts.

And Winry had seen the girl as she, Granny and Riza had come running at the sounds of wailing coming from the living room.

And now the nameless girl was hidden by Al's large back. The girl who had nothing to wear but a couple of blankets. And she had been through some horrible experiences and her mother had been a complete bitch and the girl hated her and the name she had given her. The girl had been conscious and nameless for eleven days, only having been given the middle name of the woman who raped her Dad.

Which for some reason was the thing that Winry was the most furious about.

And so her legs moved of their own accord as she stepped forwards into the room. "She needs a name."

Ed yelped and Winry heard the telltale shift of the poncho, telling them that he had retreated inside to cling to Colonel Mustang's chest.

Winry had long since given up on fighting the tears.

But she walked over to the young girl as Al turned to them, revealing her completely. She had the fierce eyes the exact same shade as Ed's, although they were currently curious and insecure. She was small for her age, only about ninety centimetres tall. And she clearly idolised her father, judging by the way her hair was cut. But it was also a shade of brown that could only belong to her mother.

Winry wanted to hate her for that. For being the child of someone so twisted. For being proof that Ed had been raped. For being full of information on how to torture him further.

But she couldn't. She couldn't hate an innocent child. Because the girl hadn't been given a choice about who her mother was, but what she had chosen was to not follow in her footsteps. She had chosen to be an Elric.

And even if she was half Clayden, she was half Ed's too.

And looking into her eyes, there was no doubt that she was an Elric.

And so Winry knelt down and gave her a gentle smile. "Hi there, I'm Winry Rockbell, I grew up with Ed and Al in Resembool."

The girl looked at Alphonse at that. "So your name's Al?"

Winry felt her stomach clench. The poor girl had never even learnt her uncle's name.

"Yes, I'm Alphonse Elric, but you can call me Uncle Al if you want."

The girl seemed to freeze at that. "So... So you're keeping me? You're letting me stay?" she asked weakly like she couldn't even believe her ears.

"Yes. It's safer for everyone involved and I don't think Ed would ever want us to send you away," Colonel Mustang said, his voice strained and his features heavy with pain. "And if Alphonse wants you here too, then that settles the matter."

"Th-thank you... Th-thank you s-so m-much," the girl stuttered because her lips were quivering so badly. Winry felt her heart ache for her. She must have been terrified of being sent away.

And before she knew what she was doing, Winry was pulling her into her own lap, realising that she probably hadn't even had a proper hug from a warm body before now. And so she just held her tight. Any child deserved to be loved and hugged.

And Winry really needed a hug herself at the moment.

The girl sat there frozen for a few seconds before she suddenly placed her arms around Winry's waist and hugged her back.

Winry smiled weakly, tears still going down her face, as she looked up at Al and then at the shivering bundle that was Ed under the poncho. Al reached out and placed his right hand on the girl's shoulder. "It's time you got a real name, don't you think?" Winry said gently. "But it has to be one that you like... Al? Do you have any suggestions as her..." Winry felt her voice break slightly. "As her uncle?"

"I don't know, Ed used to joke about what he would name his kids, but I don't think he really wants her name to be Seraphina Parsley Elric..." Al said uncertainly, obviously finding the task of naming a child in his brother's stead quite daunting.

Winry looked at the shivering bundle under the poncho. "Honestly, Ed!"

"Like I said, I don't think he was serious at the time," Al said.

Winry looked back down at the little girl in her arms, she was still clinging tightly to her waist, hiding her face. "Do you have any names you'd like?" Winry asked quietly, gently stroking her back.

"I shouldn't name myself," she mumbled.

"Heather," came Colonel Mustang's voice all of a sudden.

Winry looked up at him in surprise. Everyone seemed to do so too.

Colonel Mustang looked a bit awkward. "I just think it fits, considering the circumstances... Symbolically, I find it to fit very well... She grew from the coldest, harshest environment I can think of, and yet she came out strong and beautiful, not letting the cold ground she came from subdue her. But it's only a suggestion, of course," he said quietly, his face revealing so much pain and despair.

Winry felt even more tears going down her cheeks. To hear Colonel Mustang say something like that was something she never would have imagined. She hadn't thought that he could be so deep.

"I think Ed would like that, but only if you do too, of course," Al said quietly, looking at the young girl. Nobody was finding this easy.

The girl was quiet for a few seconds. "I think it's beautiful... But... But I feel that Heather Elric... It needs something in the middle."

And so came another a minute of silence, before Al spoke up. "You know, your eyes are just as bright as aspen leaves during autumn, so how about "Aspen"? That way you have a name that shows whose you really are?"

Heather was silent for a few seconds. Then she looked at him brightly. "So then my name can show how I gave that bitch the finger, then be based on the most recognisable physical trait of my Dad's, and then I can just really leave no doubt with my surname?! That's fucking AWESOME!"

_Well, that's one way to put it..._

Alphonse chuckled. "Well then, Heather Aspen Elric, welcome to the family."


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter forty-two**

Ed had no idea what he was supposed to think about his daughter. She was a sweet and pretty girl and she obviously already loved Ed to bits, which made this a whole lot more challenging.

Ed still couldn't believe that Heather was his. That he had a six-year-old daughter, and that was without the supersoldier stuff.

But Roy and Al were right, no matter how daunting this was, he didn't want them to send her away, even if he was going to be a shitty Dad as long as he was this way. Because he would never abandon his child like Hohenheim did them.

And he was thankful that Roy and Al came up with such a name as they did. And Me thankfully seemed to like her. Ed didn't want to push Heather away, she didn't deserve that. She was innocent after all. And he had to admit that he was kind of touched by her devotion and adoration for him, considering that she hadn't even heard him speak. She didn't even know what he sounded like.

"You know, we should make a cake," Winry said suddenly. "You've missed out on six birthdays, so I'd say that you should get at least one. And you need some clothes. Al? Could you come and help me transmute one of my sweaters? I think it would make a really nice dress for her."

Ed would have sighed with relief if he could. With Winry and Al helping, there was no way that Heather wouldn't be cared for, even if Roy was too busy at the moment with Me.

"Can I stay with Dad and Roy in the meantime? I-I... I've been waiting to do so for eleven days now..." Heather asked quietly.

"If you want to," Roy said, making it rumble slightly under Ed's ear from where he was pressing his right cheek to his chest. Ed had to say that he loved being hugged again, and especially when he couldn't communicate. Because Al and Roy weren't just hugging Me, they were hugging Ed too. And it was so great to feel those as a free being.

Even if Ed was mortified to some extent by hiding under a poncho on the lap of someone only wearing a pair of boxers while only wearing a diaper himself, and they were preserving their dignity by covering themselves up with a poncho with smiling sheep.

All in all, could be a hell of a lot better at the moment, but hugs were a major victory, so he'd be grateful for those.

Ed heard shifting close to him. "We'll be back soon, then," Al said kindly.

"Thanks, Uncle Al," came Heather's sweet voice behind Ed's back, making Me whimper. "And you too, Winry."

"Of course, Heather," Winry said and Ed heard retreating footsteps and then the living room door was closed.

"Is it okay that I call you Roy?" Heather asked timidly. "If it only reminds you of her, then I won't, of course."

Ed felt bad for her, he really did. It wasn't her fault that her mother was Melanie.

Ed felt absolutely sick every time he thought about it. That his daughter's mother was that bitch. That Ed had a child with her. Ed wanted to throw up.

"No, you may call me Roy." Ed could hear how uncomfortable he was.

"Thank you, Roy. I-I'm sorry about this... About being made like th-that and taking extra space and being made by her and reminding you about her and thank you so much for what you said about my name and I'm really, really sorry and I'll do anything I can to help! I can help you cook and clean and I'll make myself useful at the very least! I owe you that..."

Ed felt his heart clench at that. He ought to put her mind at ease. He should be talking to her and tell her that it was all right and not her fault.

But he couldn't.

He was a fucking parent and he couldn't do shit to be one before giving her a message in twelve days.

He still felt numb about it. The thought of it. He was a parent, a Dad. And he was currently being sucky at it. His daughter hated her mother and tried all she could to connect with the father she adored despite never having talked to him once. What if she began thinking that he hated her? A letter could easily be full of lies to make her happier. She needed a father and Ed couldn't be one. He couldn't talk to her, control his actions. Nothing.

He didn't want his child to grow up without any parents.

Ed was panicking. He needed to care for her, but he never wanted her in the first place. He had never wanted to be raped and father a child that was less than seven years younger than himself. She was so loyal to a father who couldn't even be there for her when she needed it.

"Heather, listen, it wasn't your fault that this happened. You aren't to blame. You shouldn't feel the need to become a maid because you're guilty about being born. That's not how it works. You shouldn't feel guilty when it wasn't your fault," Roy said.

Ed felt a wave of gratitude. He didn't want to make her carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. He couldn't let that happen to her. And he hoped that Al wouldn't give up even more of his childhood because of this, because things were already bad enough as they were. And Ed had a nasty feeling that if Al did, then Heather was a bit too much like Ed not to feel that that was her fault too.

"Are you absolutely sure? I won't mind!" Heather insisted.

This was wrong. Everything was wrong. He wasn't a Dad. And yet the girl that was undoubtedly his daughter was going to have a hellish childhood. She couldn't go to school like this. She couldn't make friends outside the team. She couldn't go outside. She couldn't **exist** because then she'd be dragged off to some lab.

"No, Heather, you're not going to do that. I won't make a six-year-old spend her life like that," Roy said. Then he sighed. "And especially not Ed's daughter."

There was silence at that. Nothing was said for at least a minute, before Heather spoke up again, although in a much smaller voice. "Roy, I wanna thank you..."

Roy sighed again. "Heather, please don't make yourself into some sort of stray. You have all the rights to a free life, and you are being denied lots of those rights already. Don't let that warp your opinion of yourself."

"I didn't mean that... well, thank you so much for that too, of course... No, there's something else I wanna thank you for..."

"What?"

"You... You should know..." she began, and Ed could hear that she had a hard time figuring out just how to say whatever was on her mind. "You're the reason I can think for myself, you know... If you hadn't said all the those things in the cage, or tried to protect my Dad like you did, then I don't think... I don't think I would have been any better than her... But that bitch gave me information about basic human rights by accident, and... and paired with what you said and did to protect Dad... I made up my mind that she was the one who was the monster... That she was an evil bitch, which is why I spent most of my time kicking her from the inside... I-I... I look up to you, Roy... You're kind of like my moral compass... So thank you... Thank you for letting me be better than her."

Ed didn't even know how to feel at that. He didn't know what to think. That girl was just another one of Melanie's victims. And Ed had to say that he was beginning to like Heather, no matter how wrong this situation was. So now Roy would just have to stop being guilty about things that weren't his fault and—

"Heather, you shouldn't look up to me. Or feel like you owe me anything. Your father was hurt because of me. Because of what I did in Ishbal, as I'm sure you know from what they must have told you," Roy said heavily.

Ed heard shifting behind him and judging by the sounds, he was pretty sure that Heather had just walked up to Roy and thrown her arms around his neck. Me whimpered, but Ed could tell that he was curious about Heather. About what he was supposed to do with her. Because he knew that she was his daughter. Perhaps not having his mind working made it easier to accept that.

"Roy, have you ever thought about the fact that you weren't at fault for the people you killed? They would just have sent in another State Alchemist to kill them instead. You may have killed thousands of people, but most of them died quickly because of your alchemy. I heard stories about State Alchemists that would use the massacre to satisfy their sadistic ways. That would intentionally drag their victims' deaths out. Who would dismember Ishbalans before killing them or cut off their feet just to watch as they bled out while trying to drag themselves to safety. You never took pleasure in what you did. It wasn't right what happened in Ishbal, but I suggest you blame the Führer because he's gotta be some fucked up racist bastard."

There was silence at that. Ed kinda wanted to laugh.

"That has got to be the most irreverent pep talk in the history of Amestris," Roy said after a little while. He sounded both shocked, amused and sad. "I'm beginning to see how you're Ed's daughter."

"You are?!" Heather exclaimed, obviously highly excited by that.

Ed was left with a strange sorrowful happiness, because Heather might just be a blessing. She wasn't Ed, and she was much more of a child. Her emotional reaction was a lot more childish than her cognition, so she seemed to understand a lot more and read a hell of a lot more between the lines than she should when it came to preserving her innocence, but she was still a young child, so her physical reaction was to do like children did. But she also seemed to inhabit a lot of Ed's spirit, which meant that she might just be able to fill some of the void that Ed had left while he was this way. He wasn't using her to replace him, but she might just be able to make things a bit easier for the others.

And at hearing Heather's excitement, it seemed to stir something in Me, because next second he had lifted the poncho, pulled Heather's blankets off and hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her down against his chest to have her sit on his lap.

She froze, and so did Roy.

Then Me shifted her on his lap to get her into a more comfortable position before placing his arm around her and hugging her tight.

Ed didn't know what to think. He was hugging his daughter. He was hugging his child for the first time in his life . He had a wave of emotions flood him as Me began sniffing her neck. She didn't smell like Melanie. She smelled sort of... warm... warm and soft... And her hair fell over his cheek and he could tell that it was a lot softer than Melanie's ever was.

"D-Dad?" Heather whispered. Then she threw her arms around him, startling Me just slightly, but Me obviously didn't mind after a couple of seconds.

Then Ed realised something. Me was hugging her just like Roy did him. But Me knew that Heather was his daughter, so...

_Me thinks that Roy's his Dad?_

Ed had a weird feeling that that was exactly it. Which was why Al's hugs were different in Me's head.

But right now, Me was shifting Heather so that she was hugging him the same way that he did Roy.

Ed didn't even know what to think of it. Everything was happening all at once and he didn't know what to do about it, not that he could anyways.

Heather pressed her face into his shoulder, a new stream of tears going down her face. "Dad..." she whispered. "I know it's gonna take time and I will wait. I don't care that you're like this. I can't even imagine what it's like for you, but just please don't think that you're a disappointment in any way. You're my Dad and I don't want any other... I love you, Dad..."

Ed had no idea what to think about that. He couldn't even begin to understand why she'd even say that.

Then the realisation came that she must have inherited some of Mom's kindness as well, which made Ed feel even more at a loss.

"D-D-D..." Me suddenly began and Ed swore inwardly. He seemed to be about to name her, which, according to previous evidence, suggested that he was about to call his six-year-old daughter "Dad".

_Fuck you, Me._

Heather had frozen. She wouldn't know about the fact that Me had managed to say three words and a very inarticulate sentence since the cage. "Dad?" she asked quietly.

"D-D-Duh..." Me stuttered out, trying to make the word right, obviously finding it faulty. Well, "Dad" should be easy enough, shouldn't it?

"D-Duh...d..." Me said, excitement suddenly growing. "Duh...d... Duhd... Dud! Dud! Dud!" he said happily, before snuggling closer to her. "Dud."

Me had now, without a doubt, proven the fact that he was a complete idiot. His response to her declaration of love and loyalty, was to call her a word synonymous with failure and disappointment.

_Roy, do me a favour and tell her that Me's the biggest moron in the world..._


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter forty-three**

Heather sat there, feeling numb. Dad was hugging her to his chest, they were both leaning against Roy's equally bare one, and she couldn't see much because of the animal blanket.

And Dad had just called her a dud with great excitement and hugged her even tighter than before.

She hugged him back, of course. It felt surreal to just be hugged by her Dad. It felt so safe, so warm, and she liked his scent. She liked the scent of her Dad as he hugged her tightly to him, even if it was only with that one arm.

But the dud part still confused her.

"Heather, you should know that at the moment, Edward thinks of what we call him to be our names, but his pronunciation and articulation is off. So I'm "Edward", Alphonse is "Brother" and you're "Dad."

"Bo-uh," Dad repeated, making her even more confused just as something made sense.

"Also, he repeats that word every time we say it and he's terrified of us leaving him. He has also lost all his memories of the women he knows, meaning that it's actually a bit surprising that he would hug you because he mostly just hides from the other women. I can only guess it is because he recognises you as his own child."

Heather found herself hugging Dad tighter at that, her chest clenching painfully. She just wanted to help him. Both parts of him. She wanted everyone to just be happy. "I'm so sorry..." she whispered.

She felt Roy's arms close themselves around them, and she could instinctively tell that he had become very good at hugging because of what happened with that bitch. She felt safer than she had ever been, warmer and safer than anything else had ever been. Then she felt a much larger hand than the one belonging to Dad being placed on the back of her head. "You need to stop apologising. Ed wouldn't want you to, but he can't tell you otherwise before in twelve days. He'll be transmuting a new letter then, but we can't force him to do so too often because we can't risk breaking Edward's trust. In the meantime, you should just trust me and Alphonse on this."

Heather didn't even know what to say, so she just nodded weakly. There was no doubt in her mind that Roy Mustang was a kind man.

"Roy... Could you... Could you tell me something?" Heather asked after a while, because she didn't actually know what was what and she wanted to know. There were so many things that she didn't know. She needed to find out. She hardly knew anything about her family.

"Unless I find it unfitting to tell you, then yes," Roy replied calmly.

"She used to call you... to call you "Daddy Roy", was there... Is there any truth to it? Because... well, you obviously love Dad... But is it like a son or something else? I can't tell because... Because I've only ever seen a total of nine faces, because I didn't see the other two women earlier... I can't really match the info in my head with the way people feel with absolute certainty... I'm able to recognise a lot of things and interpret them correctly... But that part has me confused about you..." Heather said.

Roy had paused at that, and Heather was beginning to worry that she had crossed some kind of line. "I'm sorry, was it wrong of me to ask?"

"No... It wasn't, it's just ... This is all a very complicated situation, you understand that?" Roy said carefully, and Heather could only guess that he needed some time to figure out how to phrase his answer.

"Of course I do... And you haven't known Dad for very long either... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things awkward..." she said quietly.

"You don't need to apologise, I can understand your curiosity... It's your family, after all, you're bound to want to learn about us..." Roy began.

Heather decided that she didn't want to push him. "Roy, if you don't wanna tell me, then you don't have to. It's personal for you... I only asked in case you knew it without it being awkward, but when it is, then you really should just stop talking because I don't wanna stress you," she said quickly, trying not to sound like she was giving him orders.

Roy sighed. "Heather, please stop being so scared about upsetting us... It's honestly making me edgy and it makes me feel like I'm being coddled because of what happened... Having a child treat me like I'm made of glass is a lot more uncomfortable than if you would just act like you really want to... So just relax."

Heather nearly apologised automatically at that, but stopped herself just before she opened her mouth, and instantly found frustration building inside her because now she couldn't apologise about something she definitely ought to apologise for. "Why the hell did you hafta say that that way? Now you're making me feel bad for not being able to say sorry for it!" she exclaimed. If Roy wanted her uncensored, then she'd give him uncensored. "That's... that's..." She groaned loudly. "You're somehow making me feel bad about feeling bad about being polite! What sort of lesson is that to give to a six-year-old?!"

At that, Roy began to chuckle.

Heather felt her frustration growing. "What's so funny?!"

"You're reminding me of Ed," Roy explained.

Heather paused. "I don't even know if that's a good thing anymore! I wanna be like my Dad, but if that's upsetting for you, then I shouldn't do that, but I can't apologise for it without feeling bad for apologising!"

Dad began nudging her forehead with his chin, whimpering, and she could only guess that he was trying to calm her down because he could tell that now she was upset. Which was of course even more upsetting because that meant that she was upsetting Dad, which she never wanted to do, and so she took a few calming breaths as she leaned into Dad's chest. "Why does life hafta be so damn complicated?" she whispered, trying to keep her frustration out of her voice.

Roy chuckled and sighed. "It's just how it is."

Heather just sank into her Dad's embrace even further because it felt damn good in general and it somehow also made her feel better about how upsetting just about everything was. Then she grunted in answer to tell Roy that she had heard him.

Roy sighed again. "But back to your question, Heather... I'm sorry, but I'm not exactly sure just how I'm supposed to give that one a satisfactory answer. If I were to be Ed and Al's Dad, then that would actually be more up to them than it is to me. I'm going to do all I can to be granted permanent guardianship after this year's trial period so that we'll get to stay together. However, I'm not going to force either of them to be my sons. And with Ed the way he is at the moment and the fact that Al hardly even knows me, I can't claim to be their Dad. If there comes a time when they want to call me that, then I'd be honoured, but right now, we have a lot of things to figure out."

_So you're my future Grampa, basically._

Heather smiled.

Then Dad whimpered and there was the unmistakable smell of poop.

"Uh, Roy?" Heather asked. "Do you want me to move?"

"Problem is that I don't think Edward wants you to leave," Roy said awkwardly.

"Eddah?" Dad asked in a small voice.

"Yes, Edward?" Roy said kindly, and Heather understood that he had been waiting for Dad to give him any sign about what he wanted. It was a smart thing to do, it made Dad feel the need to be the one to initiate a conversation.

"Dud?" Dad asked, but his tone was not the same he used when he was saying Roy's name. To Heather it sounded like Dad was asking if she could come with them.

"I don't mind if it's okay with you, Roy?" Heather asked.

"Are you sure?" Roy asked.

"Of course. I wanna make Dad happy, and it's not like I have to watch, even if I'm in the same room."

"Very well, then, I'm lifting you two at the same time, just so that you've been warned," Roy said, before he stood up, and Heather found herself sitting on Dad's lap as Roy carried them both. They went up the stairs and inside a bathroom before Roy placed them both on the floor and began finding what he needed to change the soiled diaper.

Dad instantly lay down on his back, apparently he was familiar with the procedure, and he gently nudged Heather off his lap, so she sat down next to Dad as he instantly grabbed her finger, smiling slightly at her. He was encouraging her, silently telling her that she was being good.

Heather felt her chest ache with a strange mixture of happiness, sorrow and gratitude. Her lips started quivering and she lay down on her side, resting her head on Dad's chest, looking at his face with a little smile. Then she gently placed her free left hand on his right cheek. Dad looked at her curiously, holding his head up to look at her, tightening his grip on her finger.

Heather sighed, her smile still there, as she kept cupping his cheek. "Oh, Dad... I know you're different inside, and I can't wait to get to know you for real, but I have to admit that right now you're being fucking adorable."

Roy began chuckling behind them.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter forty-four**

"BO-UH! BO-UH!" came Brother's scared voice from upstairs, most likely the bathroom. Al grabbed the newly transmuted dark green fleece dress that was hanging over the nearest kitchen chair, and headed for the door, looking back at Granny and Winry. "I need to go, thank you so much for all your help."

"Of course, Al," both Rockbells said at the same time.

And so Al ran upstairs to where the sound came from, locating it to be from the bathroom. "Can I come in, Roy?" Al asked.

"BO-UH?!"

There was the click of the lock, and then Roy was standing there, and Al's eyes fell on Brother's happy face from where he was sitting in front of the tub in which Heather was currently sitting with her legs crossed. "Bo-uh!" he said cheerfully.

"Hi, Brother," Al said kindly.

"Bo-uh!" Brother repeated, just as excited as before. Then he put his hand on the top of Heather's head, still smiling. "Dud!" he exclaimed happily.

Al felt a wave of sadness and cheerfulness at that. It seemed that Brother was trying to show him his daughter, name and everything. But Al was still a bit confused as to just why he was sitting there like that. He was happy on Heather's and Ed's behalf that Brother seemed to like her. He couldn't imagine how frustrated Ed would be if his body began pushing his daughter away. Ed was surely horrified and confused and overall terrified about it all, but Al was still a hundred per cent certain that he would hate to watch his child be hurt by being ignored or even feared. Al remembered when they arrived at the military hotel in East City the day after they burned their house down, and it really left him with no doubt about it.

_"Hey, Al, I can tell that something's been on your mind since I came home from the examination, what's going on?" Ed said, sitting down on the bed and looking at him with a concerned frown. _

_Al sat there on the other bed, wanting to stay with him because Ed had had a lot of bad nightmares on the train and Al wanted to be there to wake him up should it happen again. "Brother, do you think we should ask around if people have seen Dad now that we'll be travelling all over the country?" Al asked quietly._

_Ed clenched his fists, looking down. "Al, I don't wanna see that bastard ever again. He made his choice to leave us. He doesn't want anything to do with us, that's why he didn't even come to Mom's funeral," Ed growled. _

_"Brother..." Al said sadly. He didn't remember Dad, but Mom must have had a reason to love him so much. She must have had a reason to believe in him even after he left. She had still believed in him as she lay dying in her bed. And if they just found Dad, then maybe they would find out why she trusted him like that, now that they were older and would be able to understand what Mom saw. "If we found him, we could ask him abou—"_

_"No, Al. That bastard left and he made it clear that he doesn't want anything to do with us," Ed interrupted him. "I'm not gonna waste our time looking for him. He made his choice," Ed said, before he turned around and slid under the covers, his back to Al. "I'm sorry, Al, but you shouldn't keep believing in that bastard, it won't do you any good." And with that, Ed fell asleep, but Al had a feeling that it was all an act, and so he just watched him._

_It was fifteen minutes later that Ed turned back to face him, his face betraying guilt, but also the fact that he wasn't going to change his mind even so. "Al, if I hurt you, I'm sorry. I just... Al, he left us and I don't wanna spend my time thinking that it's gonna be different if we find him. So we're gonna do what's important, and that is to get you your body back," Ed said._

_"Yours too, Brother. We're going to get both our bodies back," Al said, leaving no room for questions, even if he did feel disappointed at Ed's answer. "Now you get some sleep, you need it," Al said, walking over and pulling the covers over him. _

_Ed closed his eyes, mumbling as he fell asleep. "You don't leave your kids no matter what."_

His thoughts returned back to the present, leaving him feeling a terrible loss at the way that it would be years before Al could ever have conversations like that with him again. And so Al helped in the only way he could and spoke kindly and encouragingly to Brother. "That's right, Brother, really good."

Brother grinned. "Bo-uh."

"Hey, Heather, I hope you don't mind me..." Al said uncomfortably. She was a girl who was very much ahead of her age, so if she found it uncomfortable to be watched while bathing, then Al should really just look away.

"It's okay, Uncle Al..." Heather said, smiling. Her face was still red from crying earlier, but her eyes shone brightly even so. "We think Dad's kinda trying to raise me. He figured that when I refused to be dressed in a diaper, that it must have meant that I was gonna have a bath." She looked a bit awkward at that. "So do you think you could transmute me a couple of knickers to spare his feelings without me wearing a diaper?" she asked, looking guilty and apologetic, which seemed to instantly trigger a response from Brother as he immediately pulled her to his chest, hugging her with his one arm. "Dad, please, you don't have to worry, it's okay," Heather said, hugging Brother back with both her short arms.

Al may be confused and upset about everything about how Heather came to be, but there was no doubt in his mind that she wasn't anything like her mother. Al could tell how much love she had for her father already. She could go from fierce and shouting profanities to just something as sweet and kind as this. Her voice was so soft and gentle as she spoke to Brother.

What worried Al was the way her eyes betrayed the fact that she felt guilty about her own existence. Knowing the way she came to be must be extremely hard for someone so young. She was burdened by it and Al would need to look after her and convince her that she was innocent. She shouldn't grow up disgusted by her own body. She was only six.

And Al was her uncle who was only about five and a half years older than her. It still felt weird that part. He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to do about it either. But it also depended on Heather's personality, so he would just have to get to know her better, and then they'd figure things out as they go along. "Of course I'll do that," he said.

"You can use one of the towels in the top drawer. I would have done it myself earlier, but I don't know how Edward's going to react to the transmutation," Roy explained. "I guess this is as good a time as any, though. If we only use alchemy when we're making him transmute messages, Edward might grow to associate it with fear and fear only."

Al nodded and grabbed one of the towels, as well as a piece of chalk and drew up the transmutation circle on the floor right in front of the door so as not to scare Brother by doing it too close to him. Brother had turned around and was whimpering, hugging Heather tighter as if trying to say "my hand's occupied". Al hated to see the fear in his eyes. Brother was scared that they would force him to transmute again, there was no doubt about it. He had gone from liking to watch it and finding it fascinating to seeing it as something dangerous.

And right now, he was shielding Heather to protect her from it.

"Brother, it's not going to hurt you, I swear," Al told him before pressing his hand down, activating the transmutation.

There was no "Bo-uh" this time. There was only screaming and once the transmutation was finished, there came a series of loud sobs as Brother was sitting on the floor, clutching the green dress that Al had put down as he began drawing up the transmutation circle.

And Brother was looking devastated as he clutched the garment, sobbing loudly.

Alphonse moved to hug him, to tell him it was all right, but Roy held up his hand, the other one squeezing Heather's shoulder to keep her still as she looked horrified and pale at what was going on with her Dad. "Alphonse, he's remembering something, just give him a second," he whispered.

Which was when Brother tensed, gripping the dress tighter. "N-no... A-A-Al..." he said shakily, looking down at the piece of clothing. "A-A-A...Apho..."

Al was amazed at the fact that Brother was adding two new words to his vocabulary and horrified because he seemed to be remembering the night the transmutation failed.

Brother looked to the transmutation circle, tears dripping from his eyes. "M-M-Moh..." Brother whispered.

"Roy, we have to stop this," Al said urgently as realisation hit him, reaching out for Brother, but Brother seemed to be too lost in his fragmented memories already.

Then his teary eyes widened and he screamed.

* * *

Envy glared at the Ishbalan who had now gone limp where he hung from the shackles, having passed out for the fifth time today, but now at least they had what they needed to know.

Not that it made it any better. He'd been in here for two days, working on getting information out of this filthy worm, only to get this.

Envy decided to kick him a few more times for good measure before slamming the door open, only to run into Lust and Gluttony in the adjoining room of this old factory basement. Lust had her arms crossed, looking as cold as ever where she was sitting on Gluttony's right shoulder. "What are you doing here, you hag?" Envy demanded.

"Father's getting worried you might be slacking off. It's been two days and you still don't have any news for us. Sounds like you're losing your touch..."

Envy growled at the condescending bitch. She wouldn't have done any better with the way that that Ishbalan had been refusing to talk, even now that he only had the one limb left from which he was dangling above the floor. "Shut up, he was so damn loyal to that filthy chimera of his, he wouldn't talk before now."

"So what did he have to say, then?" she asked, her voice just as level as before.

"The pipsqueak's not reliable anymore. Whatever they did to him has scrambled his soul too much, it isn't stable enough for him to be used as a sacrifice without dying halfway through," he explained with a growl. "Wrath's got a lot to answer for, sending that runt there in the first place."

"Ooh, does that mean I can eat the Ishbalan now?!" Gluttony asked eagerly.

"Not now, Gluttony, I would like to ask him a few questions myself," Lust answered, stepping down from his shoulder and walking over to the other room, leaving Envy there with Gluttony.

"You think I get to eat him later, then?" Gluttony asked, looking hopefully up at him.

Envy rolled his eyes, leaning against the wall behind him, crossing his arms just as Lust came back out the door next to him. "It appears that your little prisoner has just died from internal bleeding, so I suggest you tell Father the news about how you may or may not have just lost us our only sacrifice," she stated. "After all, making the Mayor too die in a mysterious accident would raise too many questions, especially as he's facing the firing squad tomorrow morning."

"So I can eat him now?!" Gluttony asked, lighting up.

Envy was halfway up the stairs as the squelchy sound of chewing and breaking bones filled the other room.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter forty-five**

When Uncle Al said that they had to stop this, Heather pulled back from Roy so that he lost his grip on her shoulder and she was about to leap out of the tub just as Dad screamed.

It was the worst sound she could imagine, sending shivers down her spine and making her stomach clench, and she jumped out of the tub to get to him, avoiding Roy's attempts at keeping her back, desperate to help Dad. In a flash she was kneeling next to him as she grabbed what remained of Dad's right shoulder before either Roy or Uncle Al reached them.

Heather understood just a bit too late why Roy had tried to stop her as Dad turned towards her quickly, screaming again and panicking as he saw her hair.

"Heather!" came both Uncle Al's and Roy's voices as she briefly registered the fist headed for her face.

Then suddenly she was lying on her side on the floor, tears in her eyes, her nose and mouth bleeding and she spat out one of her front teeth. Roy was already grabbing Dad who was still screaming.

Next second, Uncle Al had placed her in his lap as he pressed the leftovers of the transmuted towel against her throbbing nose, and she felt even more tears stream down her cheeks. "What's wrong with him?!" she cried. "What's happening to him?!" She knew that he'd reacted like that because he'd thought she was that bitch, but it didn't explain just why he had been shouting for Uncle Al and stared at something that wasn't there and panicked. "What is he remembering?!" she asked, her chest getting even tighter as Dad kept screaming, and she couldn't keep the sobs back as her mind caught up with the fact that something had her sweet, innocent Dad so terrified that he hit her. "LET ME HELP HIM!" she wailed, desperately needing to know if Dad was going to be afraid of her from now on. She began fighting against Uncle Al's grip, not caring about what he was saying, because Dad was scared and needed help and Heather was scared that Dad hated her. "DAD!" she sobbed, reaching out for him over Uncle Al's arm, but she couldn't move any further than that because of his strong grip. Everything was falling apart because if Dad couldn't look at her when he was scared, then she would have to be sent away and her dreams would shatter and she needed to know right now if that was what was about to happen. "DAD!" she screamed. "DAD!"

Then she broke down into sobs as Uncle Al hugged her tightly, telling her words of comfort that she couldn't even tell if were true.

* * *

Ed knew what was about to happen as soon as Me grabbed the dress on the floor. He could only watch as Me stared at the centre of the transmutation circle, reliving the memory of watching the thing that was supposed to be Mom, even if all Ed saw was a pair of knickers and the unused parts of the towel. He could only feel sorry for Me as he screamed in terror, Ed's own fears growing that they would have to postpone his next transmutation a lot more.

Then suddenly there was a hand on his right stump and a flash of brown hair as Me whipped around with a scream.

And then everything stood still as Me slammed his fist into Heather's face and sent her backwards about half a metre as Roy pulled Me to his chest, holding him tight as Me panicked over the mental pictures of the transmutation and the fact that he thought that Melanie was with them.

And Ed couldn't even hear if he had knocked his daughter out or not because Me was screaming too loudly for him to hear if she was responding.

He had hit her in the nose and mouth, he knew that. Her nose could be broken. He needed someone to please tell him just how much he had injured her. He was panicking along with Me because he had hit his six-year-old daughter, even if Me was panicking for completely different reasons. He had punched her in the face and he couldn't even tell her that he was sorry, that he would never have done that had he been in control. They might have to send her away because Me might not be able to recognise her for who she was instead of Melanie and Me would therefore be likely to hurt her again.

"DAD!" she suddenly screamed frantically, sounding like her world was shattering and she was reaching out to her only parent to save her. It sent shivers down Me's spine, and he began shouting a bit less frantically. "DAD!"

Me froze, his screams being reduced to whimpers and small yelps as the sobs and screams from his daughter grew louder the less noise he made. "Dud?" he asked Roy, looking up at him urgently. "EDDAH! DUD?!" he suddenly shouted as her sobs didn't die down.

Ed was crying inwardly. He needed to know what had happened. He needed to do something to make this all right. But he couldn't. He could only watch. "DUUUUUUD!" Me suddenly shouted with all his might, tears streaming down his cheeks as he began to struggle against Roy's restraining arms.

Roy seemed torn, but apparently he judged Me to not be threat to Heather anymore, even if supervised, so he let go of him carefully and Me was instantly dragging himself over to her and Al, and Ed caught a brief glimpse of a tooth on the floor, horror filling him, before Me locked his eyes on Heather and froze. Her face was red, she was sobbing and her mouth and nose were covered by the unused parts of the towel, but a lot of blood had seeped into it. Ed couldn't help but remember when Melanie had given him the drug that had made him think that Roy was willingly beating him over and over again. And he could see that slight fear in her eyes that he would punch her again.

Me was obviously realising slowly just what he had done. "D-Dud..." he said, looking down at his red knuckles. Then he began sobbing as he dragged himself forwards. "DUD!" he shouted, panicking and horrified as he dragged himself all the way over to her and placed his hand on her right cheek where she was lying in Al's arms with her head tilted back to stop the blood. Me was crying and whimpering and Heather was looking at him miserably through her tears.

"Dad?" she asked, her voice croaky and choked by tears as she sobbed her way through her words. "P-please don't be s-scared of me. I know you didn't m-mean to," she sobbed, leaning into his hand.

"And Ed, she doesn't have any broken bones and it was a milk tooth," Al supplied, sounding a bit shaken, but his words were still working to calm Ed's fears just slightly.

Me was trembling and crying and obviously at a loss because he had hurt his Dud. And because he too knew that the towel was there to stop the blood flow, he tried to think of something that he could do to help. His breathing was faster and he obviously wanted her to stop crying, but he was afraid of hurting her again. He had learnt from watching his Eddah being tortured that pressing something against something that was bleeding made it hurt. It made them shout and scream, and Me didn't seem to be able to hear the difference between cries of distress and cries of pain from anyone other than himself, and so Ed had a nasty feeling that Me thought he had hurt his daughter severely. And Me obviously didn't want to make his Dud scream even more by doing anything else wrong.

Ed could often tell how Me was thinking. It was instinctive. He just couldn't predict how Me was going to act on those thoughts.

Which was why he had no idea why Me pulled his hand to him, whimpering, before grabbing the towel that had been placed next to the tub for when Heather was done bathing. Ed expected it to mean that he was going to give his Dud a new towel to help her.

He did not expect Me to turn around determinedly and start dragging the towel with him over to the transmutation circle, leaving the other three obviously confused.

Then Ed sensed that feeling of self-sacrifice coming off of Me as he stared at the transmutation circle, whimpering and trembling, seeming to think that because the others wanted him to do this before, maybe it would work to make his Dud happy again. The others seemed to have lost their ability to speak, but Heather could still be heard to be crying.

Then Me lifted away the knickers, placing them outside of the circle, before he sat there, trembling, scared tears streaming down his cheeks. "Dud," he said, determination growing again and he pressed his hand to the transmutation circle, yelping as he closed his eyes in fear, hoping that it would work.

Ed, however, was making the most of this opportunity, and transmuted the towel into a kind of long cotton scroll with tiny holes that made up letters.

And so when Me finally opened his tearful eyes, snot running down his chin while obviously scared as hell, Ed was met by a silent room, except for a small, frightened whisper from Heather. "Dad?"

Which made Me turn around quickly and drag his cotton scroll towards her, reminded of his mission despite still having his heart thumping with terror and confusion. "Dud?" he asked quietly as he reached her and Al, finding her to have plugged her bleeding nostrils with pieces of toilet paper, probably so that she didn't have to lie back when she wanted to be with Ed, even if Alphonse was still holding her around the waist in case she should trigger a similar response to the one that had caused Me to hit her in the first place.

Ed wanted to scream in frustration and horror at what had happened. He hoped he'd be able to convince her that he didn't mean to harm her and that he didn't blame her for being born or being here. Honestly, if he had found out later that he had a daughter that had been forced into growing up to be Melanie's mindless puppet, Ed would have been devastated.

And so Me gave the scroll to Heather, whimpering, trying to make things better. Trying to apologise for hurting his Dud.

Heather looked at him, tears streaming, and she reached out, not to take the scroll, but to grab his index finger, smiling weakly at him as she put her other hand on his cheek, making him whimper. "Dad, please, I don't blame you," she said sincerely. "Uncle Al, please release me, I can't read as of yet and I have a lap to sit on," she said, her smile widening. "Right, Dad?"

Me seemed confused, but as Al let go of Heather and she reached out for him, Me instantly pulled her to him tightly, resting her on his lap, crying, not knowing what else to do about her because he hadn't lost his Dud even if he had hurt her.

"Heather, are you ready to hear this? It's for you this one," Al asked kindly, holding up the cotton scroll.

Heather just snuggled further in against Ed's chest, the young girl seeming to glow with excitement and happiness at the fact that Me wasn't afraid of her. "Of course, Uncle Al! Please read it right now!" she exclaimed, hugging her arms around him tightly.

No, she was a funny one, that was for sure. Heather was practically a firework of emotions. Ed just hoped it was because of her personality and not as a by-product of her rapid growth.

Me just rested his chin on top of her head, grinning, happy with the result of his plan.

Ed hoped that it was a step closer to getting him to not panic around transmutations. He still had a bad feeling that his reaction was based on Me still being affected by the memory, and thereby going through the part of sacrificing himself through a transmutation to get the thing he needed back. In that case, it had been fake courage that was merely a stroke of luck that wouldn't result in any improvements really. That would be highly disappointing.

However, right now, Ed was feeling nervous as hell because he was about to talk to his daughter for the first time and he was kind of afraid that she was growing very fond of Me and would be disappointed in Ed.

"I'm so, so sorry he hit you. I never meant to and neither did he, I swear. Al and Roy can explain why he would react like that and what he was seeing," Al read. "However, I don't want to waste this opportunity on explaining things that the others can, when I have things I should tell you that they can't... So... Hi, I guess. This is your Dad, but that's not really news to you, but I think we can both agree on this being a pretty unusual way to get acquainted, so the standard way of introductions are pretty much a waste of time and now I'm babbling and I know that, but this is kinda hard to figure out how to do, you know?" Al read, allowing Heather a minute to let things sink in.

And the little girl just snickered slightly against his chest. "And don't forget to add that our way of communication is a transmuted towel, Dad," she giggled.

Ed smiled inwardly before Al continued reading. "So, anyways, I should welcome you to the family, and I think you're going to fit right in. And just so you know, I think that you're actually the only person that Me has a completely clear idea of just who is. He likes you and he wants to take care of you because he's one hundred per cent certain that you're his child. This seems a bit informative, I know, but I just want to make this clear so that you know some important stuff about how your Dad works. Like both halves of me. First of all: you should know that Me is a complete idiot at times, like when he poked you in the eye. Secondly, I've seen some pretty messed up shit, and Me's acting weird when he picks up fragments of it. He's probably going to act off from time to time because of that, but please don't think that it has anything to do with you. Also, just as a warning: to him you're not "a Dud" or "just Dud" like it's just a name. Just like Al and Roy, you're sort of separate beings from "people". Basically: you're "his Dud", which means that he's not going to be very pleased about sharing you with others and he's probably going to think Winry's a kidnapper if she hugs you without you showing him that she has your "permission" to hug you. I don't condone that, and if all of you could try to teach him that Hawkeye isn't a scary monster trying to steal you away from him, that would be awesome. Because, like I said: he's an idiot."

"Dad! Don't say that! He's just a bit of a misguided, yet endearing... uh... well, toddler... but I like him!" Heather protested, hugging him for emphasis.

Ed would have laughed if he could. Al and Roy were chuckling before Al recommenced his reading. "Well, now that you know about him, then it's time for me to move on to other important matters. Namely that you should know that I'm proud to see that you're such a bright and honest girl who knows when to call the Führer a racist. You're obviously a pretty awesome kid so I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. So, yeah, keep being awesome and bear with me and Me. And just as a safety precaution, because I don't want to hurt you again, like either part of me, if you're not opposed to it, then dying your hair would probably work. And if so, no matter what anyone else says, you have my permission as your parent to choose whatever colour you want, so just tell anyone who says otherwise to shut up," Al read, causing Heather to giggle again. "So, that's it for me for this time because I'm running out of towel, but just know that we want you right here and I don't give a shit about how you were made when you call her a bitch like you do. That's proof enough for me, Sweetie."

"Oh, Dad!" Heather exclaimed, hugging him tight enough for him to feel the smile on her face. Me was actually being smart enough to hug her back just as tightly. Ed had felt a bit odd about using pet names, but with how useless as a Dad he was at the moment, he figured that she should at least have that.

Al began chuckling and Ed knew he had read the personal message Ed had left for him at the bottom, saying: "Alphonse: do not read this out loud, but make sure that the tooth goblin gives her a visit tonight, that's a lot cooler than a tiny, shiny lady with wings."

* * *

**So I'm back! I've been ill for the past few days, but it's a lot better now!**

**So please tell me what you think of the new chapter (but, as always: no flames :D )**


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter forty-six**

Maes knocked twice on the door to Roy's house. His darling Gracia had taken the train all the way from Central just to come here and make Roy and Ed a freshly baked apple pie after everything that they had been through. She had had to stay back at the dorms with Elicia because of Ed's fear of strangers and especially women, which was why he had decided to wait until after the Rockbells had gone back to their hotel. After all, Ed wasn't exactly fond of too many strangers at the same time, which meant that Maes was hoping to earn some trust by giving Ed something good to eat.

He felt sick at the thought of what those kids had been through. They weren't even teenagers yet. He honestly just wanted to hug them, but he couldn't even do that. Ed would panic and Al wouldn't even be able to feel it.

The door was opened to reveal Hawkeye standing there, looking a bit surprised. And like this wasn't a good time for him to be here. "Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, is something wrong?" she asked.

Maes held up the box he had brought. "My two angels came all the way to East just to make Roy and Ed an apple pie!" he explained excitedly, but then sobered up at the slight discomfort in her face. "What's wrong?"

She looked at him, obviously thinking quickly, before stepping back and letting him inside. "Something has come up with Melanie Clayden, sir. We're still trying to sort things out a bit."

Maes was surprised, but then he felt his stomach clench at the thought that it could have something to do with Ed panicking. "Has Ed remembered something?"

"Well, that too, but mostly it's..."

"It's me, Mister Hughes," came the voice of a young girl from inside the washing room.

Maes was at a loss and just a bit startled. "Who...?"

There was the sound of small feet on wooden floorboards and then the washing room door was opened and a young girl with blonde hair riddled with black stripes and plaited like Ed's, with an antenna and with the same eye colour as his peeked out. "You're the Elrics' little sister?!" Maes asked, stunned.

The little girl looked at him awkwardly. "Well, no. But you're a trustworthy fella, aren't you? I mean, you ARE Roy's best friend, so you'd hafta be trustworthy..." she said quickly, looking him up and down.

Maes just stared at her. If she wasn't their sister and she looked so much like Ed?

_No, that's impossible._

"Wait!! You're the one who likes kids!! The one with the song album that Dad loves!!" she said, lighting up, before running at him and hugging his leg, grinning brightly. "And if you're Roy's best friend and Roy is kinda Dad's dad, then that makes you my kinda great-uncle!!! Do I get a hug now?!"

Maes was at a loss. This hyper, little girl had just openly admitted that Ed was her father, but that wasn't possible, and yet Hawkeye wasn't denying it. "How...?" he asked, looking between the small girl hugging his leg and Hawkeye. He noticed that she had something that looked like a rolled up blanket under her arm.

The girl looked up at him with hurt in her eyes. "So I won't get a hug? But you were supposed to be the kiddie one who loves hugs!" Her lips began quivering and she looked absolutely heartbroken.

Well, Maes wasn't going to have any of that, even if he did need a proper explanation. And so he placed the box with the apple pie on the floor and lifted the young girl up into his arms. She quickly hugged him around the neck.

"YAY!" she shouted, looking very happy about the hug.

Then.

"Ha!!! I believe that was thirty-two seconds, Uncle Al, which means I get cake for breakfast too!!" the girl exclaimed.

"Heather, I never agreed to that!" came Al's voice with a few clangs as he walked out into the hallway from the washing room. "I'm sorry, Mister Hughes, we'll explain everything..."

"Come on, Uncle Al!! We're celebrating my birthday, I'm supposed to get what I want today! And for the next five days, because I have six birthdays to catch up on!" the girl, or Heather apparently, said. "And I told you I'd get him to hug me in under a minute, and I did! So I want cake for breakfast!"

Maes just stared at the grinning girl in his arms. "Did you just get me to hug you so that you could get cake?"

At that she smiled brightly. "Partially. Also, I like hugs and wanted to prove a point, plus your expression was priceless, so I believe that that's four birds with one stone." Then she frowned. "You know, we really should have another saying, because that's a really gruesome one. Killing innocent animals and celebrating it and even making phrases with it that almost everyone knows is kinda showing how degenerate the human race is. At least at some points."

Maes just looked at her, lost for words. This girl was supposed to be **_six_**. She was six and spoke like **_that_**. And she had obviously just been discovered to even exist.

Which would suggest that Edward had been done unspeakable things to during his childhood. Maes had horrible thoughts surrounding people taking advantage of a grieving and heartbroken child who wanted a parent and all of it mixed in with some ill-timed precocious puberty.

"Where is your mother?" Maes asked, feeling like throwing a dagger at the woman for doing something like that to Ed.

Then he froze as he remembered Hawkeye's comment about this being about Clayden. But that also made things even less possible.

"I don't recognise that bitch as my mother in any sense other than biologically, and hardly even that," the girl said bitterly, her hate for her mother evident. "And as to where she's now, Major General Armstrong decapitated her two days ago and then sent me here stuffed under Buccaneer's armpit."

Maes just blinked, trying to get his head around this.

"Mister Hughes, I think we should sit down for a bit to explain it properly," Al said. "Brother is asleep in the living room with Roy."

"We can have cake!" Heather said, grinning brightly, her voice full of childish eagerness.

Maes instantly decided that no matter how confusing and alarming this was, this girl was still just a child.

And a CUTE one at that.

And so he smiled at her. "I think you should try my wife's apple pie."

Her eyes widened considerably, filled to the brim with awed excitement. "Awesome!!!!"

* * *

"So that's how it works, basically," Heather finished explaining, eating her last piece of apple pie. Roy and Uncle Al had drawn the line at three slices.

She had only agreed because Dad should get a lot of it too when he woke up. Plus, Roy needed some too. So they had split it into three and Mister Hughes had been served cake.

Cake was awesome. Gracia's apple pie was awesome. Mister Hughes was pretty awesome too for that part.

Which was why she was sitting on his lap at the moment. "Can you be my Unkie now?"

He just looked down at her, obviously still horrified by her origins.

Then he brightened and hugged her tightly. "I'd love to!! So I'm your Unkie Maes?" he asked, grinning, suddenly pulling out something from his shirt pocket and throwing it to Roy. "We need to have a picture of this!" he announced and held her tightly to his chest.

Unkie Maes was DEFINITELY awesome.

She hadn't really dared to extend her family no matter how much she wanted to, but from what she had heard about Maes Hughes, she had decided that he was so family-y that she'd give it a shot.

She had obviously been very right.

Which was awesome. Especially as her newfound Unkie didn't care one iota about her origins. And he was definitely a "kiddie person".

Basically, he was a hell of a lot of fun.

"And Uncle Al, please don't think I'm swapping you out or giving him a more affectionate name, it's just that saying "Great-Uncle Maes" all the time sorta takes the fun out of it. So he's Unkie because he's the Unkie type and it separates my great-uncle and my uncle," she explained, looking up at Uncle Al solemnly. She still felt her stomach clench at the thought of how he didn't have a body. He was just a kid. Just like Dad. They were all just kids. And Dad and Uncle Al had been forced to grow up too quickly and now she was forcing it even more because Uncle Al felt responsible for giving **_her_** a childhood. It just wasn't right.

Uncle Al chuckled. "That's okay, Heather."

Which made it both better and worse because he didn't even seem to mind giving up even more of his childhood.

There was suddenly stirring from under the duvet where Roy was sitting with Dad and Dad woke up with a yelp. "Dud? Dud?! DUD?!" he began scrambling frantically, instantly lifting up the poncho and the duvet in one go and staring at the scene in front of him. "DUUUUD!!!!" Then he glared at Unkie Maes and lunged at him with a growl, only for Roy to hold him back, grabbing him around the waist.

"Hey, Edward, it's okay, it's just Maes, remember?"

"DUUUUD!!!!" Dad shouted, trying to get loose.

Heather immediately jumped off of Unkie Maes's lap and hugged Dad tightly. "It's okay, Dad, he's not trying to steal me away from you. It's safe, he's safe."

Dad just hugged her tighter with his one arm and growled threateningly at Unkie Maes. "Dud," he said sternly, obviously telling him that she was HIS and not anyone else's.

"You know, Maes, he's a lot like you are with Elicia..." Roy said, and Heather could hear the smirk on his face.

"Which means that we have to take pictures for him for when he's back in his body!" Unkie Maes said triumphantly. "I'm buying you a camera tomorrow!"

Roy groaned.

Heather was confused.

"And you've got a lot of firsts that need to be written down, Heather! We should make a diary or a scrap book! I have a notebook right here so we can begin right away! So, Heather, we need to start with your first word!" he said excitedly, scrambling to find a pen and notebook by the sound of it. She couldn't be quite sure because Dad had pulled her back into the safe corner and pressed her to his chest after covering her with the duvet while his head was sticking out of it, no doubt to make sure she was properly protected.

"Fuck," Heather said.

"Excuse me?" Maes asked, sounding dumbstruck.

"My first word was fuck."

"Oh..." Unkie Maes said, sounding a bit put out.

"I gave that hag the finger and shouted at her "fuck you, bitch! I'm an Elric!" and those were my first words."

The room went completely quiet.

Then Roy began chuckling. "Forget what I said, Maes, I think that scrapbook would be highly appreciated."

* * *

**And please leave reviews, positive ones will most likely help me update faster!!! :D**


	47. Chapter 47

**So it's time for some insight into Roy's head, so this chapter is rather dark...**

* * *

**Chapter forty-seven**

Roy was lying in bed while hugging Ed who hugged Heather, the two kids both asleep. Roy had been prescribed pills for dreamless sleep for both him and Ed, and so Edward had swallowed his spoonful of yoghurt with the pill in the middle dutifully because he liked the taste of the yoghurt and that was enough for him.

Roy, however, was awake and hadn't taken his own pills. He didn't want to sleep just yet. He needed time to think. To mull the day's events over in his mind. Because he didn't want Heather to know just how much pain she brought him. It wasn't that he couldn't stand to be around her, because she was just an innocent little girl. A likeable, fierce one that reminded him strongly of Ed and who filled that enormous void that Ed left just slightly.

No, the pain came from the fact that Roy had been asleep as the kid he had sworn to protect had been raped. It came from the way that Heather's purpose had been to show Roy just how much he had failed her Dad and then her. And it was all because of Roy. Melanie had raped Ed and not Roy because she had once again tortured Ed instead of him so as to punish Roy further for what he did in Ishbal.

And the worst part was that Roy was in a way grateful for it. Because Edward was happier now than he had been ever since he became this way. Because now he had a purpose. He had someone whose existence he could place and who didn't bring him confusion and a certain level of frustration and stress because he didn't have memories that he needed to remember. She gave him something that none of them could: a child of his own. And with Edward's highly instinctive mind, that gave him what seemed to be a sort of fulfilment. He had reached puberty, and without the emotional part of it present, Edward was basically ready for mating, no matter how twisted and sickening the thought was. He had fulfilled the biological goal of the changes to his body, and now he had his Dud that he could take care of without any other attachments. And so she gave him a break in all his confusion and frustration.

Roy was just lying there, his eyes open, staring at the window. Al had been there as Edward fell asleep, but now he was in the library and letting the day's events sink in too.

There were suddenly knocks on the front door, and Roy froze. It was half past eleven, so what could be wrong? What could warrant a house call like this? He felt his stomach clench as one horrible scenario after another formed in his mind. Dead subordinates, other inhabitants of Maehle coming to attack them, someone who had discovered Heather and wanted to take her away, someone who had found out about Ed, or Al, or someone having decided that Roy wasn't suited to look after the Elrics and so they would be taken away from him...

Roy found himself needing to focus on steadying his breathing. Things that weren't something that he could control and that he didn't expect and could pose a threat to their wellbeing made his chest constrict. It made sense. The cage had been filled with uncertainty about the things that would be coming, and abrupt changes brought unexpected torture. No control, no safety, no prepared schedule.

It was a form of psychological torture that Melanie had loved more than anything.

He found himself disentangling himself from Ed's sleeping form and standing up so as to get to the bookshelf on the wall above his bed. He heard Riza move downstairs to open the front door for their unexpected guest. Roy, in the meantime, was grabbing the ignition gloves on the bookshelf. They had been placed there so that they were well out of Edward's reach.

Roy had quickly pulled his gloves on and moved out of the room silently, carefully making his way through the hallway to the staircase.

Then he froze as he heard who Riza was opening the door for.

_Aunt Chris?_

Roy listened to the ongoing conversation and how his foster mother was told to come right in and that Riza would fetch Roy for her.

Roy strode down the hallway and jogged downstairs to meet her, finding her to be looking up at him, dressed in a large, black suit instead of the usual dress that she wore at the bar. It was most likely so as not to draw as much attention. Riza was holding her thick, black coat for her. "Hello, Roy," Aunt Chris said.

Roy paused midway downstairs for half a second, but then he began running down the last steps and soon found himself to be hugging her for the first time in years. "What... What are you doing here, Aunt Chris?" he asked, dumbfounded. He loved the comfort of suddenly feeling like a kid again after everything that had happened as she hugged him back. The smell of decades of cigarettes hanging around her was a highly welcome thing. After all those scenarios he had been imagining, to find his aunt in his hallway was an immense relief and he closed his eyes, soaking in the embrace.

"I figured that I wanted to pay you a visit after what you went through. And it seems like you don't exactly object, Roy..." his aunt answered, gently placing her hand at the back of his head.

Next thing he knew, he was sobbing quietly into her shoulder, feeling like he was bursting as he was hugged by the woman who raised him and who didn't come here as the Madame, but as his Aunt Chris. And dammit if it didn't feel good to not be the one in charge and not to be the one who had to stay strong and be the protector. He didn't care that it was fourteen years since he last cried into her shoulder, and that it had been because he'd broken his leg and had needed to be carried to the car. "Th-thank you for coming..." he whispered shakily.

"How about we go and sit down, Roy?" she said unusually kindly.

Roy nodded into her shoulder and pulled out of the hug, wiping away his tears, briefly noticing that Riza had left, obviously to keep an eye on Edward and Heather for him. He sniffed loudly. "Yeah, sorry... That was... I guess I just really needed that hug," Roy told her, only to have her shove a tissue at him.

"Don't worry, Roy... I heard that you went through quite a bit."

Roy blew his nose. He didn't know what to think or say right now. He'd broken down completely and he just felt overwhelmed and like his chest was calming down from bursting. "It... It was hell... Twenty-four days of hell..." he felt his stomach clench at the thought as he balled up the used tissue in his right hand.

It was only now that he registered that he had run at her in only his boxers and his ignition gloves. He hadn't even thought about dressing himself.

...Because he wasn't bothered by only wearing his underwear and nothing else.

"Dammit..." he whispered, looking down at his bare feet. "I really am a mess..."

"That may be, Roy, but if you want my honest opinion, I think I'd be more worried if you weren't... Now how about you and me sit down in the kitchen with a drink?"

Roy felt a bitter smile on his face as he snorted humourlessly, still looking down. "No can do, Aunt Chris, alcohol is off limits... I'll lose the Elrics if I do."

There was rustling from her handbag and suddenly Roy had a large plastic bottle shoved under his nose, revealing it to be an apple fizzy drink. It wasn't even labelled as an alternative to cider. It wasn't even a non-alcoholic cider option. It was just fizzy drink with apple flavour. "It's all the rage at children's birthday parties, apparently." There was a small smile in her voice as she said it. "Should fit the rules well enough, shouldn't it?"

Roy couldn't help the weak chuckle that escaped his lips. "Sounds like a very good plan, Aunt Chris... I'll go get dressed and then join you in the kitchen."

"Roy, there's really no need. It's obvious that you're uncomfortable with wearing most clothes. Besides, your house is already heated to the point that it feels like late spring here at the very least."

Roy looked back up at her at that, sighing heavily. "You can read me that well, huh?"

She just looked at him, a hint of angered sadness in her eyes. "Partially. I also picked up a few things through what my girls were told, and apparently you spent twenty whole days wearing nothing but boxers and blankets... Knowing you, I would think that you very much enjoy the constant reminder of freedom caused by the warm air on your bare skin compared to the cold of the cage. You don't need to worry, Roy. It's only your third day back in your home, you deserve a break, not a marathon. That's why they gave you a year and not a month."

Roy shook his head with a hollow chuckle. "They gave me a year because they don't want to risk losing one of their most powerful and dangerous human weapons."

"That doesn't mean that you shouldn't use the opportunity that you've been given. If you want to keep those boys, then running yourself to the ground won't work. When you get back from major surgery, you're told to get plenty of rest, not to go mountain climbing."

Roy couldn't help the hollow, bitter chuckle escaping him again. "I guess I had a pretty lousy surgeon, then..."

There was a faint flash of alarm in her eyes for half a second, before her angry frown deepened. "What happened, Roy?"

Roy decided to screw gag orders. Aunt Chris wouldn't tell anyone and she'd might be able to carefully uncover some information on just what sort of facility there was that made Melanie like that in the first place. "Instead of anaesthetics or sedatives, I got a large nail in each palm and each foot while that psychotic chimera woman used her freakish strength to hold my shoulders down as my surgeon kindly opened me up and removed my appendix and one of my kidneys before that bitch ate them," he told her with a kind of hollow nonchalance. "Alkahestry's great for keeping the hypovolemic shock at bay."

"I think we should sit down now, Roy," Aunt Chris said after a couple of seconds, a faint tinge of horror in her eyes.

"I think so too... There's a lot of stuff to bring you up to speed on... A hell of a lot."

* * *

"So there you have it..." Roy said, taking another sip from his glass of the apple fizzy drink. It had that overly sweet, faintly poisonous-smelling synthetic scent and flavour. But he had to say that he loved it. Drinking stupid and unhealthy fizzy drinks was pretty great, actually, also because it was such a sharp contrast to the smell and taste he'd had in his mouth for all that time in the cage. The doctors at the hospital had concluded that their teeth too had been kept in order through alkahestry. Roy didn't even care. If it meant that he could drink this stuff without worrying about holes and rotting teeth and plaque, then that was definitely for the better. Roy would like to put off any sort of syringes for as long as necessary. "Our military's even more messed up than we thought, we're hiding a six-year-old girl who's only three days old and whose existence will get me in deep trouble and quite possibly lose me all three Elrics because I'm unsuitable and lied to the military about something like this. Hell, it could probably get all of us executed just to silence us. We're already working on casually looking into the matter of the military facility responsible for making Melanie that way, but we have to be careful. Heather had an address, and General Armstrong is apparently looking into it. We're not exactly sure when we'll receive more intel on the matter, but I'm already assuming that the building was abandoned and cleaned out as soon as Melanie's status as a chimera was known. We can't go in, guns blazing, there's too much at risk."

Aunt Chris grunted. "Well, this is certainly bigger than I thought. We'll keep an ear out for any mentions of alkahestry or chimeras and secret military operations and facilities and let you know if we hear something."

"Thank you." Roy sighed. He was holding his glass in both hands, leaning them on the table, only now realising that he'd been sitting like that for over an hour, practically putting the small, fading purplish needle marks on his arms on display. He pulled his arms back to his sides quickly, trying to hide them.

His aunt sighed. "You think they'll stop bothering you, Roy, just because you're hiding them?"

Roy sighed and shook his head. "No, quite the contrary. What bothers me is how little they bother me in general. I don't want to come off as seeking pity, but I just... This isn't like those other times. I've been tortured before, you know that, but this... This was truly hell, and I just..." He sighed again. His lip twitching in a small, bitter smile. "The whole dog thing wasn't far off, I guess. The collars and the water bowl... The dog food... The cage... Because we kind of learnt how to live that way... We hoped to get out, yes, but the way we began reacting to it all, we were very much like dogs. You know how dogs learn from being reprimanded? Well, we kind of got that after a while... I'd snap sometimes, Ed too, but that too is very dog-like in a way... But the main thing was that we didn't really believe in the future. Yes, we knew it would come, we knew that time was passing and we were making halfhearted plans for when we got out... But we began living very much in the present because our future was so damn unpredictable. One hour at a time. Plans and expectations brought us nowhere... If we had them, then we would only find ourselves with our expectations shattered and we'd lose hope even more. It was better to be living in the present and not daring to hope that each day we'd get saved, because it honestly felt more like psychological self-harm than anything... We reached that phase during day two of the playhouse. We'd keep each other going by talking about what we'd do when we got out, but mostly it was just something we did to remind ourselves not to..." Roy looked down, sighing heavily. "Mostly it was to give us a reason not to give into that steadily growing urge to drown ourselves in the water bowl."

"I'm sorry, Roy," Aunt Chris said.

"Yeah, me too... If I hadn't had Ed... I wouldn't have been surprised if I had done just that. The playhouse... It sounds so easy, but it wasn't. The darkness, the closed space where you couldn't even stretch out, the constant drumming of the rain and every time you escaped it, all that happened was that you got outside, was soaked within seconds and so cold that it hurt, then it was just doing your business in the toilet tube and knowing that you had to get back in because of the cold, wet pain slamming down on you. Because you knew that it was deadly to stay outside and it would get harder to get warm again if you dawdled. And during all that, you knew that when this torment ended, then you might just be facing something far, far worse, but you didn't know yet what it would be... Melanie loved to do things like that... She left us alone for hours at a time every single day, which gave us plenty of opportunity to kill ourselves if we wanted to. We could have done it easily... But she knew that we wouldn't, because we'd be leaving the others behind..."

"I don't think it sounds easy at all, Roy. That is psychological torture and a highly efficient way of doing it... I don't think anyone in their right mind wouldn't feel that way at some point in your situation."

Roy clenched his fists. "And the worst part is that now that I'm back here, after every damn thing we went through, I couldn't even come home with a split lip. All my injuries were healed up, all the pain is mere memories, and Ed is yet again the one who didn't get out in one piece. He didn't even get out with his soul intact."

Roy slammed his fist on the table in frustration and guilt and every damn emotion that had been crushing him for over a month now.

"Uh, Roy... Is... Is this a bad time?" came a small voice, and Roy turned around to find Heather standing in the kitchen doorway, her right hand on still on the door handle. She looked upset and Roy had a feeling that she had been listening for quite some time, before she now decided that it had gone on for too long and that she ought to make her presence known. She still had the cotton roll with Ed's message to her held tightly under her left arm.

She was looking very much like a small child and little else where she was standing in her light blue nightie that reached her knees.

And she had tears in her eyes. Tears of guilt and misery that she shouldn't and had no reason to have.

But she was an Elric and Melanie was her biological mother, meaning that she was more or less genetically bound to be blaming herself. And her lips were trembling as she looked up at Roy and Roy only. "I-I'll go now... S-sorry..." she said suddenly, turning on her heel and running off.

"Heather!" Roy shouted, getting to his feet and taking off after her. "Stop!"

He found her pausing on the third step of the staircase, looking up at him in misery. "I-I'm so s-sorry... I-I shouldn't h-have been l-listening!"

Roy sighed, reaching out and placing his hands on her shoulders, finding it slightly unnerving just how small it made her look. "Heather, why were you downstairs in the first place? It's past one in the morning."

"I-I..." she looked down. "I wet the bed... Uncle Al's transmuting the sheets clean and stuff and Riza helped me wash up, but I was hungry, but you were talking and I didn't wanna disturb you. But you kept talking about stuff you don't really want me to know and so I didn't know what to do and I'm sorry, Roy," she whispered, her voice breaking slightly.

Roy sighed and quickly picked her up, letting her use his left arm as a seat, to which she responded by freezing. "It's not that I don't want you to know like it's some dirty secret... I just don't want you to think that it's your fault. Because it isn't. None of it is because you were born a week **after** we were rescued."

At that she began sobbing.

Roy put his free right hand on her cheek, tilting her head up to look at him. "Heather, please... I don't blame you, none of us do..."

"But... But..." She grimaced with her emotional torment. "I HATE HER! I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER! I-I was _**inside**_ of her as she tortured you and Dad! She g-gave birth to me! I feel filthy all the time because half of me is her and I HATE HER!"

Then she broke down into wails and Roy was kind of lucky that the sleeping pills knocked Edward out for about eight hours and wouldn't wake up no matter what. Otherwise he'd have been too agitated to sleep for hours.

"Heather, it isn't your fault and you're not filthy for something that wasn't even optional for you. You had no control over it. You made your choice with your first words and that damn well makes you clean in my book. Now let's get you a sandwich and you can meet my aunt."

"I-I'm really sorry 'bout the bed thing... I-I'll try not to let it h-happen again..." she whispered.

Roy sighed. It felt weird to carry a child like this. To carry such a small being and actually being entrusted with them. In many ways, Heather's life was even more in Roy's hands than even Ed's. Because she didn't exist. She couldn't magically appear. Yes, they could try to make up a story about how the Elrics have just discovered a half-sibling, but Roy was still going to be in major trouble for taking in a six-year-old without telling anyone. He had been talking with Riza, and they had settled on calling Grumman who would be arriving tomorrow morning at ten so that they could discuss it with him to find out just what he thought was best.

However, he had zero experience with Heather's statement, at least as a responsible grownup and not a child. And so he decided to use logic. "It's all right, Heather. You're only six and that is fairly common for kids your age. And seeing as how this is only the third night since you were born, it makes even more sense."

"I-I dreamt that I had to pee, and I was at a toilet and sat down and then it got really warm and wet and I'm sorry..."

Roy wasn't really sure what to say.

Then Heather giggled slightly, her voice still full of tears. "L-like father like daughter..." Then she hugged Roy's arm to her and began crying again.

No, this had been a very long day for all of them.

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**(But no flames)**


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